Where do soldiers keep their armies?

In their Sleevies!
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I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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Why did a boy thow a clock out the window?

To see time fly.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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What are lawyers good for?

They make used car salesmen look good.
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Now that Macy's has severed ties, with Donald Trump, how can the average American look like the President?

By hunting and killing their own hair piece.
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What country makes you shiver?

Chile.
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How many Cabbage Patch dolls does it take to change a light bulb?

The question is irrelevant, since you couldn't find the dolls even if you knew how many. (Note: Well, this was a good joke in 1983-84. . . .)
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What kind of cat should you never play games with?

A cheetah
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What do you get when you plant a frog?

A cr-oak tree.
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