Where do soldiers keep their armies?

In their Sleevies!
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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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How many actors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. They don't like to share the spotlight.
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What do you get when you cross a roll of wool and a kangaroo?

A woolen jumper
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What do you give a sick bird?

Tweetment.
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Why does everybody like Frosty the Snowman?

Because he is so cool!
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What do you call a fat pumpkin?

A plumpkin.
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Knock, knock
Who's there?
Merry.
Merry who?

Merry Christmas!
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What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?

A pair of Re-Bachs.

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What do you call a deer that costs a dollar?

A buck.
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