Where do soldiers keep their armies?

In their Sleevies!
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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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Why was the baseball player arrested in the middle of the game?

He was caught stealing second base.
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My pastor, he ate too many beans.

He had in his own pews.
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Why did Venus have to get an air conditioner?

Because Mercury moved in.
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How many bass clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?

All of them
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How do you know Donald Trump is talking to you?

Cause your the only one Hair.
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.
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Two girls were born on the same day, same year, same parents, except they are not twins. Explain:

They are triplets.
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