Where do soldiers keep their armies?

In their Sleevies!
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Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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How many junkies does it take to screw in a light bulb?

``Oh wow, is it like dark, man?''
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to take notes while the other screws it into the faucet.
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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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Where do orcas hear music?

Orca-stras
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Now that Macy's has severed ties, with Donald Trump, how can the average American look like the President?

By hunting and killing their own hair piece.
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How many referral agents does it take to change a light bulb?

Two: One to screw you out of a fee, and the other to send you to a store where they ran out of bulbs weeks ago.
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What do you call a Disney Princess that supports Donald Trump?

Snow White Supremacist.
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