Where do soldiers keep their armies?

In their Sleevies!
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How many thought police does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There never was any light bulb.

Notes: Probably the only really good light bulb joke of 1984.
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What kind of eggs does a wicked chicken lay?

Deviled eggs.
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I just watched a debate as to which cartoons were better- Disney or Warner Bros.

I have to say it got very animated.
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Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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What does GOP stand for?

Grabs Our Pussy.
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What is the chemical formula for "coffee"?

CoFe2
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Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.
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What is the strongest animal?

A snail because it carries it's home.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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