Where do soldiers keep their armies?

In their Sleevies!
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How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: one to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.
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What is Donald Trump telling all his supporters?


Orange Is The New Black.
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A man walks into a bar with a roll of tarmac under his arm and says:

"Pint please, and one for the road."

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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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What is the strongest animal?

A snail because it carries it's home.
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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If H20 is water, what is H204?

Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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What's a tree's favorite drink?

Rootbeer.
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