Where do soldiers keep their armies?

In their Sleevies!
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Why don't mountains get cold in the winter?

They wear snowcaps.
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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What is a spaceman's favorite chocolate?

A marsbar!
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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Why does everybody like Frosty the Snowman?

Because he is so cool!
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How many teenage girls does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One, but she'll be on the phone for five hours telling all her friends about it.
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What school do you have to drop out of to graduate from?

Parachute school!
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Trump: "Foreign Policy?,

if you mess with the United States, there will be hell toupee."

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How does an attorney sleep?

First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other.
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