Where do soldiers keep their armies?

In their Sleevies!
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If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why don't you swerve to hit him?

It might be your bicycle.
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Why doesn't Donald Trump sweat like Marco Rubio?

Because he has such yuuuuge fans!
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Dorian Gray Jokes,

they never get old!
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How many Marxists does it take to change a light bulb?

None. The light bulb contains the seeds of its own revolution.
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How many Microsoft executives does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Bill Gates will just redefine Darkness® as the industry standard.
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What's round and bad-tempered?

A vicious circle.
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What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?

A spelling bee!
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How many editors of Poor Richard's Almanac does it take to replace a light bulb?

"Many hands make light work."
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And the mermaid, that was weird. What was she wearing in math class?

An Algae-bra
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