Where do soldiers keep their armies?

In their Sleevies!
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What bone will a dog never eat?

A trombone.
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What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?

HeHe
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

Because he was caught tweeting on a test.
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What do you call a boomerang that won't come back?

A stick.
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Why was the baseball game so hot?

Because all the fans left!
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Ah, I had a great boomerang joke...

It'll come back to me.
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Why can't a bicycle stand up?

Because it's two tired!
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How many New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None 'o yo' fuckin' business!
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What is Donald Trumps favorite song?

ICE ICE Baby......
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