Where do soldiers keep their armies?

In their Sleevies!
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one more, guys, I promise.
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Ah, I had a great boomerang joke...

It'll come back to me.
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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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What music does cheese listen to?

R & Brie.
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How many existentialists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to screw it in and one to observe how the light bulb itself symbolizes a single incandescent beacon of subjective reality in a netherworld of endless absurdity reaching out toward a maudlin cosmos of nothingness.
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