Where do soldiers keep their armies?

In their Sleevies!
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How many Jewish American Princesses does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call Daddy, and one to get the (pick one:) mineral water/Tab.
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I went to the doctors the other day and I said, 'Have you got anything for wind?'

So he gave me a kite.

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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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What did rural America tell Donald Trump?

You're Hired.
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How do Eskimos make their beds?

With sheets of ice and blankets of snow.
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How many college girls does it take to change a light bulb?

That's "women," you unfunny jerk!
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What do you call an exploding monkey?

A baboom
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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How do we know the Indians were the first people in North America?

They had reservations.
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