Where do soldiers keep their armies?

In their Sleevies!
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Why did the computer squeak?

Someone stepped on its mouse.
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Why are there fences around a graveyard?

Because people are dying to get in!
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How many folk singers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.
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What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.
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What do you call a girl with a frog on her head?

Lilly.
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What is a baby's motto?

If at first you don't succeed, cry and cry again!
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What's black and white and red all over?

A blushing zebra.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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