Where do soldiers keep their armies?

In their Sleevies!
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What is black ,white and red all over?

A sunburnt penguin
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What's the best parting gift?

A comb.
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How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only two, but the hard part is getting them into the light bulb.
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What do you call a young army?

Infantry.
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How do you catch a squirrel?

Climb up a tree and act like a nut
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What did the octopus say to his girlfriend when he proposed?

Can I have your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage?
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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Why do you think Civil Disobedience was such a fantastic essay?

Thoreau editing Thorough.
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How can you tell is a singer is at your door?

They can't find the key, and they never know when to come in.
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