Where do soldiers keep their armies?

In their Sleevies!
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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly. But when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank,

proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it.

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How many college girls does it take to change a light bulb?

That's "women," you unfunny jerk!

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How do locomotives hear?

Through the engineers.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.

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What kind of pants do ghosts wear?

Boo-Jeans.
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Which is the most religious cheese?

Emmental...it's very hol(e)y...
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What goes under your feet and over your head?

A jump rope.

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Three people were in a boat. They all fell off. Only two people ended up with wet hair. Why didn't the other person's hair get wet?

Because he was bald!
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