Where do soldiers keep their armies?

In their Sleevies!
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Why doesn't Donald Trump sweat like Marco Rubio?

Because he has such yuuuuge fans!
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What is only a small box but can weigh over a hundred pounds?

A scale.
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What do you call a bankrupt Santa?

Saint Nickel-less.
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I'm sorry we can't let the elephants back into the public pool.

They keep dropping their trunks.
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What do you call a gorilla wearing earmuffs?

Anything you like, he can't hear you.
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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How do you fix a broken vegetable?

With tomato paste.
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