Where do soldiers keep their armies?

In their Sleevies!
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What did the man on the beach say to Michael Jackson?

Get out of my sun!
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How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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How does a bird with a broken wing manage to land safely?

With its sparrowchute.
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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What is the easiest way to count a herd of cattle?

With a cowculator.
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What's black and white and red all over?

A sunburnt zebra.
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"My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance.

We'll see about that."

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Why did the melon jump into the lake?

It wanted to be a watermelon.
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What has 6 eyes but can't see?

3 blind mice.
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