Where do soldiers keep their armies?

In their Sleevies!
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Why did the boy take a ruler to bed?

To see how long he slept.
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Trump: "It's not a toupee,

I just found the Bush that Jeb lost."
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What kind of shoes do bannanas make?

Slippers!
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What does the toast wear to bed?

Jammies!
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon
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How do you make a fire with two sticks?

Make sure one is a match!
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How many editors of Poor Richard's Almanac does it take to replace a light bulb?

"Many hands make light work."
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What do you call a movie about Donald Trump, Bernie Madoff, and Kenneth Lay?

The League of Extraordinary Con Men.
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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