Where do soldiers keep their armies?

In their Sleevies!
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What do birds say on Halloween?

Twick o tweet
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How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb?

The fish.
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How do you stop a dog barking in the back seat of a car?

Put him in the front seat.
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How many orgy attenders does it take to change a lightbulb?

As many as possible, and don't *ask* what they do with the old bulb.
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What do you call lending money to a bison?

A buff-a-loan
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Anyone know any jokes about sodium?

Na
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What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?

HeHe
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What is up in the air and wobbles?

A jellycopter
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What do you call a scared train?

A fright train!
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