Where do soldiers keep their armies?

In their Sleevies!
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How do you catch a unique bird?

Unique up on it.
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How do hair stylists speed up their job?

They take short cuts!
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Did you hear about Michael Jackson's latest record?

"Feel the World."
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What runs around a yard without moving?

A fence.
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What do you throw to a drowning lawyer?

His partners.
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What do you call a cheese factory in the Middle East?

Cheeses of Nazareth.
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How many assholes does it take to change a light bulb?

None; assholes never see the light anyway.
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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How many magicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends on what you want to change it into.
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