Where do soldiers keep their armies?

In their Sleevies!
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Now that Macy's has severed ties, with Donald Trump, how can the average American look like the President?

By hunting and killing their own hair piece.
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What do frogs order when they go to a restaurant?

French Flies.
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What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.
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I'll call you later.

Don't call me later, call me Dad.
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There are 10 kinds of people in the world.

Those who read binary and those who don't.
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What do you call a calf after it's six months old?

Seven months old.
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What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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What did the class clown take a computer to school?

Her mom told her to bring in an apple for the teacher.
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Where do fortune tellers dance?

At the crystal ball.
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