Where do soldiers keep their armies?

In their Sleevies!
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Why doesn't Melania Trump want to be the first lady?

Because she would have to move into a smaller house.
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How many U.S. Marines does it take to change a light bulb?

Fifty — one to screw in the bulb and 49 to guard him/her.
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What is the definition of a "crying shame"?

There was an empty seat.
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How many 2nd AD's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Uh...standby, I'll check on that.
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Why does a stork stand on one leg?

Because it would fall over if it lifted the other one.
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How do you make a fire with two sticks?

Make sure one is a match!
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What's the difference between a female lawyer and a pitbull?

Lipstick.
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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What day of the week tastes the best?

Sunday!
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