Where do soldiers keep their armies?

In their Sleevies!
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What do vampires take when they are sick?

Coffin drops!
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?

H2O cubed.
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Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15 Degrees C

and still be 0k?
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Who says sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me?

A guy who has never been hit with a dictionary.
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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When is a car not a car?

When it turns into a garage.
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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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What did Jay-z call his wife before they got married?

Feyonce

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