Where do soldiers keep their armies?

In their Sleevies!
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How many mystery writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two — one to screw it most of the way in and the other to give it a surprise twist at the end.
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What did one magnet say to the other?

I find you very attractive.
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What did the Donald tell an illegal immigrant who was trying to put out a fire at Trump Tower?

No way Hose A.
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Ah, I had a great boomerang joke...

It'll come back to me.
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What kind of dress can't be worn?

Address.
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I'm sorry we can't let the elephants back into the public pool.

They keep dropping their trunks.
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Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?

coz Donald ducked
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What did Cinderella say to the photographer?

Some day my prints will come.
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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