Where do soldiers keep their armies?

In their Sleevies!
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What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.
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What do you get if you enroll in a liberal arts program and the only subject you do well in is music?

A natural major.
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How many ``pro-lifers'' does it take to change a light bulb?

6: 2 to screw in the bulb and 4 to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
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How many Yuppies (WASPs) does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call the electrician, and one to mix the drinks.
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What starts with E, ends with E and only has one letter?

An envelope.
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How do you get a trumpet to sound like a french horn?

Put your hand in the bell and play a lot of wrong notes.

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How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. No, two. No... How many do we have on the truck?
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Why are the middle ages sometimes called the Dark Ages?

Because they had so many knights.
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Why did the rooster cross the road?

To prove he wasn't a chicken!
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