Where do soldiers keep their armies?

In their Sleevies!
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What do you call 25 attorneys buried up to their chins in cement?

Not enough cement.
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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What do you get from a bad-tempered shark?

As far away as possible.
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What is black ,white and red all over?

A sunburnt penguin
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What do you give a pig with a rash?

Oinkment.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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Why did the orange stop in the middle of the hill?

It ran out of juice!
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If a long dress is evening wear, what is a suit of armor?

Silverware.
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