Where do soldiers keep their armies?

In their Sleevies!
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How many alumnae of (sorority name) does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change it and one to act as chaperone.
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Why do you think Civil Disobedience was such a fantastic essay?

Thoreau editing Thorough.
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Where does a ten ton elephant sit?

Anywhere it wants to
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Customer: "Do you have alligator shoes?"

Clerk: "Yes, sir. What size does your alligator wear?"
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What happens when frogs park illegally?

They get toad.
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What do you call a bruise on a T-Rex?

A dino-sore
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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to take notes while the other screws it into the faucet.
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Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.
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What do moms dress up as on Halloween?

Mummies!
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