Where do soldiers keep their armies?

In their Sleevies!
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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What do you call a cow in a tornado?

A milkshake
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What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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What do vampires take when they are sick?

Coffin drops!
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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've been framed.
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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What is black when clean, and white when dirty?

A blackboard.
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