Where do soldiers keep their armies?

In their Sleevies!
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What has 4 wheels, gives milk, and eats grass.

A cow on a skateboard.
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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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Why does Trump love the poorly educated?

Because they only know their ABCs "Anybody But Clinton".
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When did the fly fly?

When the spider spied her!
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How do you catch a squirrel?

Climb up a tree and act like a nut
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He made an illegal ewe turn.
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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Why did the basketball player bring his suitcase to his game?

Because he traveled a lot.
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

Because he was caught tweeting on a test.
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