Where do soldiers keep their armies?

In their Sleevies!
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He made an illegal ewe turn.
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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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How many fire safety guys dose it take to screw in a light bulb?

One -- but it's an 8 hour minimum.
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Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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What kind of music do planets sing?

Neptunes!
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Do you know what the Queen's father was called?

King.
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What concert costs 45 cents?

50 cent featuring Nickelback

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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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Clowns divorce:

custardy battle.
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