Where do soldiers keep their armies?

In their Sleevies!
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What does the toast wear to bed?

Jammies!
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What do you call a clown who's in jail?

A silicon.
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How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.
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Why did the football coach go to the bank?

To get his quarterback.
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Why is a skeleton so mean?

He doesn't have a heart.
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How many college girls does it take to change a light bulb?

That's "women," you unfunny jerk!
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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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How many singers from Nashville does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change it, one to sing about how heartbroken he is at the loss of the old one, one to sing about how madly in love he is with the new one, and one to go "Yee-Hah!" and throw his cowboy hat in the air.
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How many Sound Recordists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

WHAT?
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