Where do soldiers keep their armies?

In their Sleevies!
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How many singers from Nashville does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change it, one to sing about how heartbroken he is at the loss of the old one, one to sing about how madly in love he is with the new one, and one to go "Yee-Hah!" and throw his cowboy hat in the air.
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How does Donald Trump intend to spice up the Republican Convention?

By relocating it to a casino!
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Why are Muslims worried about Trumps immigration plans?

Once you deport Juan you deport Jamal.
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What is a cat's favorite breakfast?

Mice krispies
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What can you put in a barrel to make it lighter?

Holes.
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Four fonts walk into a bar

the barman says "Oi - get out! We don't want your type in here"

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How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
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A man goes to a zoo and discovers there is only one animal and it's a dog.

It was a Shih Tzu
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Why did the cat go to Minnesota?

To get a mini soda
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