Where do soldiers keep their armies?

In their Sleevies!
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What concert costs 45 cents?

50 cent featuring Nickelback

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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish
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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've been framed.
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Why did the cookie go to the Doctor?

Because he was feeling crumby.
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How can you tell is a singer is at your door?

They can't find the key, and they never know when to come in.
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Went to the paper shop -

it had blown away.
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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