Where do soldiers keep their armies?

In their Sleevies!
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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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Why does everybody like Frosty the Snowman?

Because he is so cool!
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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?

It needed to be trimmed.
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Why is Donald Trump always seen with Melania?

Because all his other wives support Hillary.
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What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.
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What' the difference between a lawyer and a boxing referee?

A boxing referee doesn't get paid more for a longer fight.
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How many Anglicans does it take to change a lightbulb?

A whole synod. One to move that the bulb be changed while the others debate until the room spins.
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Do you know how many musicians it takes to change a light bulb?

No, but hum a few bars and I'll fake it.
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