Where do soldiers keep their armies?

In their Sleevies!
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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've got you covered!
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What did one hair say to the other?

It takes two to tangle!
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What kind of table has no legs.

A multiplication table.
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What do you call a clown who's in jail?

A silicon.
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What's the difference between a tuba and a vacumn cleaner?

You have to turn one of them on before it sucks.

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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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How many nuclear engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to install the new bulb and six to figure out what to do with the old one for the next 10,000 years.
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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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Why did the news reporter go to the ice cream parlor?

Because she wanted to get a good scoop.
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