Where do soldiers keep their armies?

In their Sleevies!
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Four fonts walk into a bar

the barman says "Oi - get out! We don't want your type in here"

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What has three letters and starts with gas?

A car
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A sandwich walks into a bar.

The barman says "Sorry we don't serve food in here"

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How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."
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What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?

OH SNaP!
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What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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Why did the melon jump into the lake?

It wanted to be a watermelon.
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What has four legs, a trunk, and sunglasses?

A mouse on vacation.
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What kind of math do Snowy Owls like?

Owlgebra
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