Where do soldiers keep their armies?

In their Sleevies!
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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What does a skeleton say before dinner?

Bone appetit!
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What do Michael Jackson and Malt Whiskey have in common?

They both come in tots.
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How do you make a rock float?

Put it in a glass with some ice cream and root beer.
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Which candles burn longer, bee's wax or tallow?

Neither, they all burn shorter.
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How do you catch a tame bird?

The tame way, unique up on it!
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What do you call a cat sitting on the beach on Christmas Eve?

Sandy Claws.
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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