Where do soldiers keep their armies?

In their Sleevies!
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What did the banana do when the monkey chased it?

The banana split
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What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?

It gave a little wine
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What do you call a deer that costs a dollar?

A buck.
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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What did the baby corn ask the mother corn?

Where is pop corn?
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What do you get from a bad-tempered shark?

As far away as possible.
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What kind of phones do people in jail use?

Cell phones
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What did Cinderella say to the photographer?

Some day my prints will come.
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A seal walks into a club...
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