Where do soldiers keep their armies?

In their Sleevies!
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The defendant is accused of putting dynamite into a steer.

Abominable! [A Bomb In a Bull]
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Why was the woman fired from the car assembly line?

She was caught taking a brake.
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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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What kind of dessert does a ghost like?

I scream!
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What room does a ghost not need?

A living room!
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What do ghosts use to wash their hair?

Shamboo!
Frankenstein: Witch can you make me a lemonade?
Witch: Poof you are a lemonade!
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What do you call a baby bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear
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Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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