Where do soldiers keep their armies?

In their Sleevies!
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Where did the farmer take the pigs on Saturday afternoon?

He took them to a pignic.
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What did the peanut say to the walnut?

Nothing. Nuts can't talk.
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What is the snake's favorite subject?

Hiss-story
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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team?

She ran away from the ball.
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."
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What is the chemical formula for "coffee"?

CoFe2
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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