Where do soldiers keep their armies?

In their Sleevies!
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I'll call you later.

Don't call me later, call me Dad.
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A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off.

"because," he said "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
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What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?

A try and try and try-ceratops
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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What has four legs and goes "Oom, Oom"?

A cow walking backwards
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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Why did the turtle cross the road?

To get to the shell station.
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what do you call a tick on the moon?

A luna-tick
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Why doesn't Melania Trump want to be the first lady?

Because she would have to move into a smaller house.
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