Where do soldiers keep their armies?

In their Sleevies!
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Why are there fences around a graveyard?

Because people are dying to get in!
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How do you fix a broken brass instrument?

With a Tuba glue.

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If the red house is on the left,the blue house is on the right,where is the White House?

In Washington, D.C.

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What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?

It gave a little wine

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What is Donald Trump "really" trying to do?

Make America Hate Again.
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What is the strongest animal?

A snail because it carries it's home.

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Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?

Just in case he got a hole in one!
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What do Santa's elves drink?

Minnesoda.
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That girl said she knew me from the vegitarian club,

but I'd never seen herbivore [her before]
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