Where do you get whales weighed?

At the Whale-weigh station.
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What is a tree's favorite drink?

Root beer.
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What's round and bad-tempered?

A vicious circle.
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When Susan's boyfriend proposed marriage to her she said: "I love the simple things in life,

but I don't want one of them for my husband".

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What do you call a bankrupt Santa?

Saint Nickel-less.
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I’ve never gone to a gun range before.

I decided to give it a shot!
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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck
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If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?

H2O cubed.
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What do you call an exploding monkey?

A baboom
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