Where do you get whales weighed?

At the Whale-weigh station.
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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In what school do you learn how to greet people?

Hi school.
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Why was the cat afraid of a tree?

Because of the bark
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How many fundamentalists does it take to change a light bulb?

None; the Bible doesn't mention any light bulbs.
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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What is the chemical formula for "banana"?

BaNa2
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What does a skeleton say before dinner?

Bone appetit!
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What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.
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