Where do you get whales weighed?

At the Whale-weigh station.
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Why are the floors of basketball courts always so damp?

The players dribble a lot.
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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Well, first let's talk about the concept behind this whole "light bulb" thing.
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What did the snail say when he got on the turtle's shell?

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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Why do you think Civil Disobedience was such a fantastic essay?

Thoreau editing Thorough.
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How many IBM engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just let Marketing explain that "Dead Bulb" is a feature.
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what do you call a tick on the moon?

A luna-tick
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