Where do you get whales weighed?

At the Whale-weigh station.
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Why did the people not like the restaurant on the moon?

Because there was no atmosphere.
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Why do pandas like old movies?

Because they are black and white.
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A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.' The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal.

Her husband responds, "But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."

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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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Who did Frankenstein take to the dance?

His "ghoul" friend!
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What's round and bad-tempered?

A vicious circle.
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How does an attorney sleep?

First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other.
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How many existentialists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to screw it in and one to observe how the light bulb itself symbolizes a single incandescent beacon of subjective reality in a netherworld of endless absurdity reaching out toward a maudlin cosmos of nothingness.
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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.
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