Where do you get whales weighed?

At the Whale-weigh station.
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Why did God invent lawyers?

So that real estate agents would have someone to look down on.
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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Don't trust atoms,

they make up everything.
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What do you call a pig that's been arrested for dangerous driving?

A road hog.
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Where does a polarbear keep its money?

In a snow bank!
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How do you handle dangerous cheese?

Caerphilly.
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What is black when clean, and white when dirty?

A blackboard.
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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What do you call an exploding monkey?

A baboom
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