Where do you get whales weighed?

At the Whale-weigh station.


GOOD		CRAP

or

How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. No, two. No... How many do we have on the truck?


GOOD		CRAP

or

Buy a deck of cards.


GOOD		CRAP

or

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.


GOOD		CRAP

or

Root beer.


GOOD		CRAP

or

Steal its chair.


GOOD		CRAP

or

A whole synod. One to move that the bulb be changed while the others debate until the room spins.


GOOD		CRAP

or

To reduce his carbon footprint.


GOOD		CRAP

or

"The erection is rigged!"


GOOD		CRAP

or

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.


GOOD		CRAP

or