Where do you get whales weighed?

At the Whale-weigh station.
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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Trump: "Foreign Policy?,

if you mess with the United States, there will be hell toupee."

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What is a ghost's favorite fruit?

Booberries!
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When are kids most likely to go to school?

When the door is open.
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When Susan's boyfriend proposed marriage to her she said: "I love the simple things in life,

but I don't want one of them for my husband".

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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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What do frogs order when they go to a restaurant?

French Flies.
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How many Holocaust revisionists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None: they just deny that the bulb ever went out in the first place.
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What has 4 wheels, gives milk, and eats grass.

A cow on a skateboard.
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