Where do you get whales weighed?

At the Whale-weigh station.
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Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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What do you get when you cross a witch with sand?

A sandwich!
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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Where do computers go to dance?

The disk-o!
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Why did the pianist keep banging his head against the keys?

He was playing by ear

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How many accountants does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What kind of answer did you have in mind?
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What do you call a thieving alligator?

A crookodile
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What did the banana do when the monkey chased it?

The banana split
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Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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