Where do you get whales weighed?

At the Whale-weigh station.
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Why did the melon jump into the lake?

It wanted to be a watermelon.
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How many PA' does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What's a light bulb?
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Silver walks up to Gold in a bar and says, "AU, get outta here!"
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Why did the boy take a ruler to bed?

To see how long he slept.
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What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

Frostbite.
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How many technical writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, provided there is a programmer around to explain how to do it.
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How many frat guys does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Three: One to screw it in, and the other two to help him down off the keg.
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How are an apple and a lawyer alike?

They both look good hanging from a tree.
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What do you call 25 skydiving lawyers?

Skeet.
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