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Where do you get whales weighed?
At the Whale-weigh station.
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What did the laywer name his daughter?
Sue.
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What's an alligator's favorite drink?
Gator-Ade.
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What is the difference between a car and a bull?
A car only has one horn.
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Which runs faster, hot or cold water?
Hot, because you can catch cold.
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What kind of table has no legs.
A multiplication table.
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Why did God invent lawyers?
So that real estate agents would have someone to look down on.
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?
An in-car-nation.
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How many Christian Scientists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
None, but it takes at least one to sit and pray for the old one to go back on.
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How many database people does it take to change a light bulb?
Three: one to write the light bulb removal program, one to write the light bulb insertion program, and one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
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