Where do you get whales weighed?

At the Whale-weigh station.
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Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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How many Agents does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Actually, agents will screw in just about anything.
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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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Why are elephants wrinkled?

Because they don't fit on a ironing board
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So I met this gangster who pulls up the back of people's pants,

it was Wedgie Kray.

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How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away his credit card
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A seal walks into a club...
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What kind of motorcycle does Santa ride?

Holly Davidson.
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