Where do you get whales weighed?

At the Whale-weigh station.
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How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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Where do cars go for a swim?

At the carpool!
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What do you call a parrot that flew away?

A polygon
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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?

He didn't have any guts!
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What do you get from a bad-tempered shark?

As far away as possible.
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How does a mouse feel after it takes a shower?

Squeaky clean
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Why was the math book sad?

It had too many problems.
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What kind of phones do people in jail use?

Cell phones
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What did Cinderella say to the photographer?

Some day my prints will come.
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