Where do you get whales weighed?

At the Whale-weigh station.
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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What did the painter say to the wall?

I got you covered.
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What do you call someone who hangs around with musicians?

A drummer

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What kind of underwear to reporters wear?

News briefs.
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What has one horn and gives milk?

A milk truck.
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What did one egg say to the other egg?

Let's get crackin!
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What did the little boy's mom say when he asked her to buy him shoes for gym?

"Tell Jim to buy his own shoes".
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What do you call a deer with no eyes?

No I deer
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What kind of eggs does a wicked chicken lay?

Deviled eggs.
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