Where do you get whales weighed?

At the Whale-weigh station.
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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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How many board meetings does it take to get a light bulb changed?

This topic was resumed from last week's discussion, but is incomplete pending resolution of some action items. It will be continued next week. Meanwhile . . .
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When does New Year's Day come before Christmas Day?

Every year!
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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What did the peanut say to the walnut?

Nothing. Nuts can't talk.
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What did the drummer get on his I.Q. Test?

Saliva
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How many cats does it takes to screw in a light bulb?

You can throw away your light bulbs. Just douse the cat with gasoline, light it up with a match, and you'll have all the light you need. (Comment: BLEAH!)
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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