Where do you get whales weighed?

At the Whale-weigh station.
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Why was the ant so confused?

Because all his uncles were "ants"!
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What do ghosts use to wash their hair?

Shamboo!
Frankenstein: Witch can you make me a lemonade?
Witch: Poof you are a lemonade!
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What does Santa like to do in the garden?

Hoe, hoe, hoe!
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What is the world's longest punctuation mark?

The hundred yard dash.
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what do you call a tick on the moon?

A luna-tick
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What would happen if pigs could fly?

The price of bacon would go up.
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What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?

Its shadow
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How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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