Where do you get whales weighed?

At the Whale-weigh station.
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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Why did the banana split?

It saw the ginger snap.
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What is the difference between a locomotive engineer and a teacher?

One minds the train, one trains the mind.
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Who did Frankenstein take to the dance?

His "ghoul" friend!
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What has three letters and starts with gas?

A car
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What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?

A spelling bee!
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What do you call a crate of ducks?

A box of quackers.
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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What did the calculator say to the math student?

You can count on me!
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