Where do you get whales weighed?

At the Whale-weigh station.
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What do you call a bruise on a T-Rex?

A dino-sore
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What' the difference between a lawyer and a boxing referee?

A boxing referee doesn't get paid more for a longer fight.
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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What do a viola and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is happy when the case is closed

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There's a fine line between a numerator and denominator.

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Why did the elephant leave the circus?

He was tired of working for peanuts.
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What would happen if pigs could fly?

The price of bacon would go up.
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What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?

Root position cords.

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What's a frog's favorite drink?

Croak-a-cola.
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