Where do you get whales weighed?

At the Whale-weigh station.
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What is the opposite of a restaurant?

A workaraunt.
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What has a bed that you can't sleep in?

A river.
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What is a tree's favorite drink?

Root beer.
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What do birds say on Halloween?

Twick o tweet
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What kind of cat should you never play games with?

A cheetah
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How does Donald Trump intend to spice up the Republican Convention?

By relocating it to a casino!
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What did the peanut say to the walnut?

Nothing. Nuts can't talk.
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What do you call a sad bird?

A bluebird!
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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