Where do you get whales weighed?

At the Whale-weigh station.
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What do you call the best butter on the farm?

A goat.
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What is the difference between a locomotive engineer and a teacher?

One minds the train, one trains the mind.
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How many gorillas does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it sure takes a shitload of light bulbs!
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Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?

Fo Drizzle!

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How many Mensans does it take to tell Mensa light bulb jokes?

Five. One to tell the joke and one to get it.
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What did the octopus say to his girlfriend when he proposed?

Can I have your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage?
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Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?

It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
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How do dinosaurs pay their bills?

With Tyrannosaurus checks.
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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Well, first let's talk about the concept behind this whole "light bulb" thing.
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