Where do you get whales weighed?

At the Whale-weigh station.
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How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: one to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.

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Why is Donald Trump always seen with Melania?

Because all his other wives support Hillary.
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How many TV evangelists does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But for the message of light to continue, send in your donation today.


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Why did the lamb cross the road?

To get to the baaaaarber shop

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What's green and flies as fast as a speeding bullet?

Super Pickle!

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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over

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What did one tooth say to the other tooth?

The dentist is taking me out tonight.

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What do you throw to a drowning lawyer?

His partners.
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What has a bed that you can't sleep in?

A river.

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