Where do you get whales weighed?

At the Whale-weigh station.
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What do you call a cow with three legs?

Lean beef.
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How many folk singers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.

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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.

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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.

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How many lawyers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Three, One to climb the ladder. One to shake it. And one to sue the ladder company.
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How many mystery writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two — one to screw it most of the way in and the other to give it a surprise twist at the end.


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What do you see when you look into Trump's eyes?

Answer: The back of his head.
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What did one titration say to the other?

"Let's meet at the endpoint."
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How many punk rockers does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and seventeen on the guest list.

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