Where do you get whales weighed?

At the Whale-weigh station.
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How does the ocean say hello?

It waves.
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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What do you call a public servant who doesn't take crap from Republicans or Democrats?

Donald Trump.
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How do you catch a unique bird?

Unique up on it.
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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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Can you say Richard and Robert had a rabbit without using the "r" sound?

Sure, Dick and Bob had a bunny!
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How many hardware folks does it take to change a light bulb?

None. That's a software problem.
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Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?

coz Donald ducked
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