Where do you get whales weighed?

At the Whale-weigh station.
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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish

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Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks.

They charged one - and let the other one off.

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Why does the Easter Bunny have a shiny nose?

His powder puff is on the wrong end.

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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.

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How many bass clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?

All of them

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What do you call a dinosaur at the rodeo?

A Broncosaurus or a Tyrannosaurus Tex.

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What does the winner of the race lose?

His breath.
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What's the definition of a gentleman?

One who knows how to play the saxophone, but doesn't!

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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've got you covered!
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