Where do you get whales weighed?

At the Whale-weigh station.
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How many militarists does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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What's black and white and red all over?

A sunburnt zebra.
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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Why did the spy stay in bed?

Because he was under cover.
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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why don't you swerve to hit him?

It might be your bicycle.
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I just watched a debate as to which cartoons were better- Disney or Warner Bros.

I have to say it got very animated.
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How many running-dog lackeys of the bourgeoisie does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to exploit the proletariat, and one to control the means of production!
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What has four wheels and flies?

A garbage truck.
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