Where do you get whales weighed?

At the Whale-weigh station.
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How many efficiency experts does it take to replace a light bulb?

None. Efficiency experts replace only dark bulbs.
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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What happens when frogs park illegally?

They get toad.
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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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How is Donald Trump going to create middle class jobs?

By paying them to cheer for him during campaign events.
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How many anarchists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

All of them.
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Know how copper wire was invented?

Two lawyers were fighting over a penny.
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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