Where do you get whales weighed?

At the Whale-weigh station.
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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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What has legs but doesn't walk?

A bed.
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What did the guitarist do when his teacher told him to turn his amplifier on?

He caressed it softly and told it that he loved it

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How do they serve smart hamburgers?

On honor rolls.
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What's black and white and red all over?

A sunburnt zebra.
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How many art directors does it take to screw in a light bulb

Does it have to be a light bulb? I've got this neat candle holder...
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What is a snowman's favorite breakfast?

Frosted Flakes!
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What's a light-year?

The same as a regular year, but with less calories.
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How many investment brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes.
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