Where do you get whales weighed?

At the Whale-weigh station.
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Why was the math book sad?

It had too many problems.
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How many frat guys does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Three: One to screw it in, and the other two to help him down off the keg.
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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs
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What did the calculator say to the math student?

You can count on me!
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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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What do you call a young army?

Infantry.
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What do you get when you cross a witch with sand?

A sandwich!
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What did the candle say to the other candle?

I'm going out tonight!
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If H20 is water, what is H204?

Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
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