Where do you get whales weighed?

At the Whale-weigh station.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.
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What airline does Donald Trump aspire to fly?

Hair Force One!
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What is a cat's favorite breakfast?

Mice krispies
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