Where do you get whales weighed?

At the Whale-weigh station.
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What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?

There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
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What do you call a cow with three legs?

Lean beef.
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What nails do carpenters hate to hit?

Fingernails.
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Why did the football coach go to the bank?

To get his quarterback.
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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've been framed.
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What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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What do you get from a bad-tempered shark?

As far away as possible.
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What kind of potato chips fly?

Plane ones.
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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