Where do you get whales weighed?

At the Whale-weigh station.
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Why was the cat afraid of a tree?

Because of the bark
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What do you call a pig that's been arrested for dangerous driving?

A road hog.
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Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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Why are the middle ages sometimes called the Dark Ages?

Because they had so many knights.
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Why do ghosts make good cheerleaders?

Because they have a lot of spirit.
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What do you call a gorilla wearing earmuffs?

Anything you like, he can't hear you.
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What do you call two ants that run away to get married?

Ant-elopes!
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Why was the mouse afraid of the water?

Catfish
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Anyone know any jokes about sodium?

Na
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