Where do you get whales weighed?

At the Whale-weigh station.
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What do basketball players and babies have in common?

They both dribble.
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What did the little boy's mom say when he asked her to buy him shoes for gym?

"Tell Jim to buy his own shoes".
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What kind of flower has lips?

Two-lips!
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How many UNIX hacks does it take to change a light bulb?

As many as you want; they're all virtual anyway.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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If H20 is water, what is H204?

Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
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What did the little boy's mom say when he asked her to buy him shoes for gym?

"Tell Jim to buy his own shoes".
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What do you call a boomerang that won't come back?

A stick.
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What has a lot of keys but can not open any doors?

A piano.
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