Where do you get whales weighed?

At the Whale-weigh station.
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How many anarchists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

All of them.
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Why don't mountains get cold in the winter?

They wear snowcaps.
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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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What does Donald Trump say when he can't find his Viagra?

"The erection is rigged!"
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Why did the chicken cross the road, roll in mud, then cross the road again?

He was a dirty double crosser!
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How many engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

First they have to agree on which is better; the analog bulb or a digital bulb.
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Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?

coz Donald ducked
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Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?

He was board.
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How do you fix a broken Tuba.

With a tuba glue.
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