Where do you get whales weighed?

At the Whale-weigh station.
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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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Who makes dinosaur clothes?

A dino-sewer.
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What room does a ghost not need?

A living room!
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?

Its shadow
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What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo?

Big holes all over Australia!
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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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