Where do you get whales weighed?

At the Whale-weigh station.
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What lies on its back, one hundred feet in the air?

A dead centipede.
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I think I want a job cleaning mirrors.


It's something I could really see myself doing.
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A lorry-load of tortoises crashed into a trainload of terrapins,

What a turtle disaster

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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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There are 10 kinds of people in the world.

Those who read binary and those who don't.
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Why is Donald Trump always seen with Melania?

Because all his other wives support Hillary.
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What do you do with a dead chemist?

Barium
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What do fish take to stay healthy?

Vitamin sea.
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What do you call a rabbit with beetles all over it?

Bugs Bunny.
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