Where do you get whales weighed?

At the Whale-weigh station.
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What did the boat say to the pier?

What's up, dock?
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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Slept like a log last night........

Woke up in the fireplace.

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What starts with E, ends with E and only has one letter?

An envelope.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech?

After you die, a leech stops sucking your blood.
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What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.
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The other day I sent my girlfriend a huge pile of snow.

I rang her up, I said "Did you get my drift?".
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