Where do you get whales weighed?

At the Whale-weigh station.
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What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?

White vans.
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How Many lead guitarist does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just steal somebody else's light.
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What do whales eat?

Fish and ships.
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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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Why do some people have an instant aversion to banjo players?

It saves time in the long run.

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Kleptomaniacs just don't get puns

they always take things literally.
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How many agnostics does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Agnostics question whether electricity really exists.
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What did the pencil say to the paper?

I dot my i's on you!
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What did the ghost say to the other ghost?

Do you believe in humans?
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