Where do you get whales weighed?

At the Whale-weigh station.
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How does an Eskimo stick his house together?

With igloo!
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Why did the strawberry call 911?

It was in a jam!
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What happened when the butcher backed up into his meat grinder?

he got a little behind in his work.
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What does the winner of the race lose?

His breath.
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a prostitute?

A prostitute will stop screwing you when you're dead.
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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.
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How do dinosaurs pay their bills?

With Tyrannosaurus checks.
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Went to the corner shop -

bought 4 corners.

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