Where do you get whales weighed?

At the Whale-weigh station.
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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Do you know what the Queen's father was called?

King.
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How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one more, guys, I promise.
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Why did the cow go in the spaceship?

It wanted to see the mooooooon!
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What kind of math do Snowy Owls like?

Owlgebra
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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?

There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
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A Bhuddist monk goes to a hotdog stand

and says make me one with everything.
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A man goes to a zoo and discovers there is only one animal and it's a dog.

It was a Shih Tzu
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