Where do you get whales weighed?

At the Whale-weigh station.
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How do you make a musician's car more aerodynamic?

Take the pizza delivery sign off the roof

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What do you call the security guards outside of Samsung.

The guardians of the galaxy!
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck
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What do you call a sleeping bull?

A bulldozer
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What's black and white and red all over?

A sunburnt zebra.
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Why did the gardener plant his money?

He wanted his soil to be rich!
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I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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