Where do you get whales weighed?

At the Whale-weigh station.
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What do you call a cow with three legs?

Lean beef.
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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What's a frog's favorite drink?

Croak-a-cola.
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What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?

Wet feet.
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What do you call a pig that's been arrested for dangerous driving?

A road hog.
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How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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How many IBM PC owners does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but she/he'll have to go out and buy the light bulb adaptor card first, which is extra.
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What kind of fly has a frog in its throat?

A hoarse fly!
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What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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