Where do you get whales weighed?

At the Whale-weigh station.
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What did the porcupine say to the cactus?

Is that you mommy?
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Why did the singer climb a ladder?

She wanted to reach the high notes!

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What message did Bach have on his answering machine?

"This phone is baroque, please call Bach later."

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What pine has the longest needles?

A porcupine.
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What does Melania see in Donald Trump?

"Ten billion dollars and high cholesterol!"
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Why do some people have an instant aversion to banjo players?

It saves time in the long run.

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I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase.

I can hardly contain myself.

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Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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What does an octopus wear when it gets cold?

A coat of arms.
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