Where do you get whales weighed?

At the Whale-weigh station.
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How many bureaucrats does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to assure the everything possible is being done while the other screws the bulb into the water faucet.
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What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?

2 Na
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I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day.

Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.

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Why won't sharks attack lawyers?

Professional courtesy.
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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How many stock brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes (knowing that it's already burned out).
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What did the sub-atmoic ducks say?

Quark!
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How many Yuppies (WASPs) does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call the electrician, and one to mix the drinks.
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What do you call a Disney Princess that supports Donald Trump?

Snow White Supremacist.
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