Where do you get whales weighed?

At the Whale-weigh station.
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I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day.

Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.

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Why does the Easter Bunny have a shiny nose?

His powder puff is on the wrong end.
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Why are pirates great singers?

They can hit the high C's!

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What kind of cats like to go bowling?

Alley cats.
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If H20 is water, what is H204?

Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
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How do you make a rock float?

Put it in a glass with some ice cream and root beer.
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How are an apple and a lawyer alike?

They both look good hanging from a tree.
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What do you call a pig who knows karate?

Porkchop
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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