Where do you get whales weighed?

At the Whale-weigh station.
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When can't you see a cheese?

When it's pasteurised...
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What is a tornado's favorite game?

Twister!
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What do you call someone who hangs around with musicians?

A drummer

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What is on the ground and also a hundred feet in the air?

A centipede on its back!
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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Which candles burn longer, bee's wax or tallow?

Neither, they all burn shorter.
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What happens when you play Beethoven backwards?

He decomposes.

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What do camels use to hide themselves?

Camelflauge
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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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