Where do you get whales weighed?

At the Whale-weigh station.
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How do hair stylists speed up their job?

They take short cuts!
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Why are pirates great singers?

They can hit the high C's!

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How many hardware folks does it take to change a light bulb?

None. That's a software problem.
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What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?

2 Na
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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What is the easiest way to count a herd of cattle?

With a cowculator.
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What did the calculator say to the math student?

You can count on me!
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Whats the difference between Terrorists and Accordion players?

Terrorists have sympathizers

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