Where do you go to find a million story building?

You go to the Library!
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What room can you not go into?

A mushroom!
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What did the octopus say to his girlfriend when he proposed?

Can I have your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage?
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How many cops does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. It turned itself in.
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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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What do you call snake with no clothes on?

Snaked.
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How many Yuppies (WASPs) does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call the electrician, and one to mix the drinks.
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How many militarists does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?

When you're a mouse.
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