Where do you go to find a million story building?

You go to the Library!
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What's an alligator's favorite drink?

Gator-Ade.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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How many existentialists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to screw it in and one to observe how the light bulb itself symbolizes a single incandescent beacon of subjective reality in a netherworld of endless absurdity reaching out toward a maudlin cosmos of nothingness.
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How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.
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How many fatalists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What does it matter? we're all gonna die anyway.
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How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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How many graduate students does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it may take upwards of five years for him to get it done.
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How many Bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb??

What's a light bulb?
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