Where do you go to find a million story building?

You go to the Library!
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What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?

A chili dog on a bun.
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What has a bed that you can't sleep in?

A river.
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How many economists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to assume the ladder and one to change the bulb.

A': None. If the government would just leave it alone, it would screw itself in.
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What's a royal pardon?

It's what the queen says after she burps.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?

A spelling bee!
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Why was the piano player arrested?

Because he got into treble with the cops

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How many fatalists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What does it matter? we're all gonna die anyway.
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