Where do you go to find a million story building?

You go to the Library!
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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What does Donald Trump say when he can't find his Viagra?

"The erection is rigged!"
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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What nails do carpenters hate to hit?

Fingernails.
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What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer?

An offer you can't understand
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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Don't trust atoms,

they make up everything.
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