Where do you go to find a million story building?

You go to the Library!
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How do you make a rock float?

Put it in a glass with some ice cream and root beer.
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vampire?

A vampire only sucks blood at night.
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What kind of shoes do bannanas make?

Slippers!
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What do you call a cat sitting on the beach on Christmas Eve?

Sandy Claws.
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What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.
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How many U.S marines does it take to screw in a light bulb?

50. One to screw in the light bulb and the remaining 49 to guard him .
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What is Donald Trumps biggest dilemma now that he's president?

Finding a cabinet position for the thing on his head!
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