Where do you go to find a million story building?

You go to the Library!
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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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What kind of motorcycle does Santa ride?

Holly Davidson.
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How many militarists does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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Why do seagulls fly over the sea?

Because if they flew over the bay, they'd be baygulls!
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What do you call a deer with no eyes?

No I deer
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What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from?

Separation anxiety.
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