Where do you go to find a million story building?

You go to the Library!
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What do you call a musician with a college degree?

Night manager at McDonalds

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How many Real Men does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Real Men aren't afraid of the dark.
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Why did Mozart kill his chickens?

Because they always ran around going "Bach! Bach! Bach!"

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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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How do you make a rock float?

Put it in a glass with some ice cream and root beer.
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What do have when a lawyer is buried up to his neck in sand?

Not enough sand.
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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Why is slippery ice like music?

If you don't C sharp - you'll B flat!

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