Where do you go to find a million story building?

You go to the Library!
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What can you hold without using your hands?

Your breath!
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How many fire safety guys dose it take to screw in a light bulb?

One -- but it's an 8 hour minimum.
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Why was the mouse afraid of the water?

Catfish
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What did one owl say to the other owl?

Happy Owl-ween!
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What did the class clown take a computer to school?

Her mom told her to bring in an apple for the teacher.
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What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.
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How many New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None 'o yo' fuckin' business!
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Why was the cat afraid of a tree?

Because of the bark
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