Where do you go to find a million story building?

You go to the Library!
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What has a bed that you can't sleep in?

A river.
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What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?

One molar solution.
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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What do you call a sleeping bull?

A bulldozer
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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What would you call a humorous knee?

Fun-ny!
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