Where do you go to find a million story building?

You go to the Library!
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What's the one thing that never works when it's fixed?

A jury.
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Why did the computer squeak?

Someone stepped on its mouse.
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Four fonts walk into a bar

the barman says "Oi - get out! We don't want your type in here"

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How many actors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. They don't like to share the spotlight.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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What did the sub-atmoic ducks say?

Quark!
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How are elephants and trees alike?

They both have trunks
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