Where do you go to find a million story building?

You go to the Library!
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What do you call a bruise on a T-Rex?

A dino-sore
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What did the belly button say just before it left?

I'm outtie here!

Tom: I bet I can make you say purple.
Joe: How?
Tom: What colors are in the American flag?
Joe: Red, white and blue.
Tom: I told you I can make you say red.
Joe: You said purple!
Tom: I told you I could make you say purple!
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What do you call a sleeping bull?

A bulldozer
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There's two fish in a tank, and one says "How do you drive this thing?"
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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I just watched a debate as to which cartoons were better- Disney or Warner Bros.

I have to say it got very animated.
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Why did God invent lawyers?

So that real estate agents would have someone to look down on.
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When should you buy a bird?

When it's going cheep!

Did you hear the one about the crow and the telephone pole?
He wanted to make a long distance caw.
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