Where do you go to find a million story building?

You go to the Library!
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What do a viola and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is happy when the case is closed

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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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What is a spaceman's favorite chocolate?

A marsbar!
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What did the porcupine say to the cactus?

Is that you mommy?
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What happened when the butcher backed up into his meat grinder?

he got a little behind in his work.
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Trump: "Foreign Policy?,

if you mess with the United States, there will be hell toupee."

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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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