Where do you go to find a million story building?

You go to the Library!
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I just watched a program about beavers.

It was the best dam program I've ever seen.
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How many (Generals/Politicians) does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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What do you call the security guards outside of Samsung.

The guardians of the galaxy!
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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I backed a horse last week at ten to one.

It came in at quarter past four.

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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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What goes on and on and has an i in the middle?

An onion
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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