Where do you go to find a million story building?

You go to the Library!
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What do Donald Trump and a baby have in common?

They both whine alot!
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What do you call a guy who's born in Columbus, grows up in Cleveland, and then dies in Cincinnati?

Dead.
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How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
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What is a cat's favorite breakfast?

Mice krispies
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What is the best thing to do if you find a gorilla in your bed?

Sleep somewhere else.
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What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?

It gave a little wine
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I'm in great mood tonight because the other day I entered a competition and I won a years supply of Marmite

......... one jar.
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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