Where do you go to find a million story building?

You go to the Library!
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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What goes tick-tock, bow-wow, tick-tock, bow-wow?

A watch dog.
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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Why was the sand wet?

Because the sea weed
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Why did the rooster cross the road?

To prove he wasn't a chicken!
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What kind of phones do people in jail use?

Cell phones
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What washes up on small beaches?

Microwaves.
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What is Donald Trumps biggest dilemma now that he's president?

Finding a cabinet position for the thing on his head!
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