Where do you go to find a million story building?

You go to the Library!
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What do you call a musician with a college degree?

Night manager at McDonalds

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What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.
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A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"

The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".
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What do you get when you cross a witch with sand?

A sandwich!
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What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo?

Big holes all over Australia!
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What do aliens on the metric system say?

Take me to your liter.
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What goes 99 thump,99 thump,99 thump?

A centipede with a wooden leg.
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Why does a giraffe have such a long neck?

Because his feet stink
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