Where do you go to find a million story building?

You go to the Library!
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Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. No, two. No... How many do we have on the truck?
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What do dinosaurs and decent lawyers have in common?

They're both extinct.
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Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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Why was the woman fired from the car assembly line?

She was caught taking a brake.
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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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What happened when 500 hares got loose on Main Street?

The police had to comb the area.
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