Where do you learn to make banana splits?

In sundae school.
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What did one egg say to the other egg?

Let's get crackin'!
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What do you call a smiling, sober, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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Where do ghosts buy their food?

At the ghost-ery store!
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What is the easiest way to count a herd of cattle?

With a cowculator.
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How are elephants and trees alike?

They both have trunks
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What happens when frogs park illegally?

They get toad.
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What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?

A chili dog on a bun.
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What kind of eggs does a wicked chicken lay?

Deviled eggs.
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