Where do you learn to make banana splits?

In sundae school.
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Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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What kind of mouse does not eat, drink, or even walk?

A computer mouse.
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What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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What's the difference between a musician and a 14-inch pizza?

A 14-inch pizza can feed a family of four

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What do you call a cow in a tornado?

A milkshake
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I said to this train driver "I want to go to Paris". He said "Eurostar?"

I said, "I've been on telly but I'm no Dean Martin".
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What did one egg say to the other egg?

Let's get crackin'!
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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Why was the piano player arrested?

Because he got into treble with the cops

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