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Where do you learn to make banana splits?
In sundae school.
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Why did the boy have his girlfriend put in jail?
She stole his heart.
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How many thought police does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None. There never was any light bulb.
Notes: Probably the only really good light bulb joke of 1984.
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What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 100?
Your Honor.
What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 50
Senator.
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Why do pandas like old movies?
Because they are black and white.
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What do Santa's elves drive?
Minivans.
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.
But that's just nuts
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?
It's fine, he woke up.
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What is the difference between a car and a bull?
A car only has one horn.
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What do you call a bankrupt Santa?
Saint Nickel-less.
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