Where do you learn to make banana splits?

In sundae school.
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What kind of motorcycle does Santa ride?

Holly Davidson.
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How do you open the great lakes?

With the Florida Keys.
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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How do you make a rock float?

Put it in a glass with some ice cream and root beer.
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How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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What do fish take to stay healthy?

Vitamin sea.
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A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.' The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal.

Her husband responds, "But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."

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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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What kind of mouse does not eat, drink, or even walk?

A computer mouse.
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