Where do you learn to make banana splits?

In sundae school.
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Why did the people not like the restaurant on the moon?

Because there was no atmosphere.
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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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What do you call an exploding monkey?

A baboom
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What does Melania see in Donald Trump?

"Ten billion dollars and high cholesterol!"
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?

White vans.
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What do you call two ants that run away to get married?

Ant-elopes!
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How many plastic surgeons does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he'll also want to do something about your nose.
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Middle C, E-Flat and G walk into a bar.

Sorry, says the barman, we don't serve minors.
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