Where do you learn to make banana splits?

In sundae school.
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What kind of dessert does a ghost like?

I scream!
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How many Cabbage Patch dolls does it take to change a light bulb?

The question is irrelevant, since you couldn't find the dolls even if you knew how many. (Note: Well, this was a good joke in 1983-84. . . .)
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What's black and white and red all over?

A sunburnt zebra.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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What goes around a haunted house and never stops?

A fence.
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What do whales eat?

Fish and ships.
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What's in the middle of nowhere?

The letter H.
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What is the definition of a "crying shame"?

There was an empty seat.
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