Where do you learn to make banana splits?

In sundae school.
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What' the difference between a lawyer and a boxing referee?

A boxing referee doesn't get paid more for a longer fight.
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Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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What do you call a movie about Donald Trump, Bernie Madoff, and Kenneth Lay?

The League of Extraordinary Con Men.
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What do Santa's elves drive?

Minivans.
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Knock, knock!
Who's there?
Snow.
Snow who?

Snowbody!
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How many ergonomicists does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. Four to decide which way the bulb ought to turn, and . . .
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What does Santa like to do in the garden?

Hoe, hoe, hoe!
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What has holes all over and holds water?

A sponge!
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon
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