Where do you learn to make banana splits?

In sundae school.
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Where do cars go for a swim?

At the carpool!
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How do you handle dangerous cheese?

Caerphilly.
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What clothes does a house wear?

Address.
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How many alumnae of (sorority name) does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change it and one to act as chaperone.
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How many Yuppies (WASPs) does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call the electrician, and one to mix the drinks.
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Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?

It was two tired.
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What did the calculator say to the math student?

You can count on me!
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I said to this train driver "I want to go to Paris". He said "Eurostar?"

I said, "I've been on telly but I'm no Dean Martin".
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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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