Where do you learn to make banana splits?

In sundae school.
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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Why do pandas like old movies?

Because they are black and white.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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What goes under your feet and over your head?

A jump rope.
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What do you call a deer with no eyes?

No I deer
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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What is the strongest animal?

A snail because it carries it's home.
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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How many archaeologists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One team, but they'll label every piece of the old one, mark its location in the room, and write a detailed description before determining that it was used to store cornmeal.
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