Where do you learn to make banana splits?

In sundae school.
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Some people believe that becoming a vegitarian is just a mistake...

A Missed-steak.
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Why did the elephant leave the circus?

He was tired of working for peanuts.
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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What are lawyers good for?

They make used car salesmen look good.
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What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis
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How do you tell you're kissing a french horn player?

He/She keeps trying to stick their fist up your butt.

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What can you put in a barrel to make it lighter?

Holes.
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What pine has the longest needles?

A porcupine.
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