Where do you learn to make banana splits?

In sundae school.
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There's two fish in a tank, and one says "How do you drive this thing?"
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I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite

He said NaBrO
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I just watched a debate as to which cartoons were better- Disney or Warner Bros.

I have to say it got very animated.
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Why is b always cool?

Because it's between ac.
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What goes on and on and has an i in the middle?

An onion
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How many Stanford professors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One to write a paper claiming that light is a pig whitey invention, one to organize a Darkness Studies program, and one hundred to protest the Diablo Canyon Nuclear Generating Station.
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.
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How many art directors does it take to screw in a light bulb

Does it have to be a light bulb? I've got this neat candle holder...
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