Where do you learn to make banana splits?

In sundae school.
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What do you call a baby bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear
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Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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What do you call a lawyer gone bad.

Senator.
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How many editors of Poor Richard's Almanac does it take to replace a light bulb?

Many hands make light work.
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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What has 6 eyes but can't see?

3 blind mice.
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What do you call a belt made out of watches?

A waist of time!
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