Where do you learn to make banana splits?

In sundae school.
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How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."
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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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What does the toast wear to bed?

Jammies!
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How do you make Halloween great again?

By carving a Trumpkin.
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What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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A mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno, dos..." and then

*poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
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How do you make a musician's car more aerodynamic?

Take the pizza delivery sign off the roof

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What do you call a guy who's born in Columbus, grows up in Cleveland, and then dies in Cincinnati?

Dead.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
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