Where do you learn to make banana splits?

In sundae school.
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Why did the cucumber call 911?

It was in a pickle!
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How many running-dog lackeys of the bourgeoisie does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to exploit the proletariat, and one to control the means of production!
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Why did the orange stop in the middle of the hill?

It ran out of juice!
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Where do all the letters sleep?

In the alphabed.
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What do you get when you cross a roll of wool and a kangaroo?

A woolen jumper
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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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What did the octopus say to his girlfriend when he proposed?

Can I have your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage?
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I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase.

I can hardly contain myself.

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How many big black monoliths does it take to change a light bulb?

Sorry, light bulbs are an evolutionary dead end.
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