Where do you learn to make banana splits?

In sundae school.
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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What does GOP stand for?

Grabs Our Pussy.
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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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What did Michael Jackson tell the little boy?

"The way you make me feel, it really turns me on!"
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Knock, knock
Who's there?
Merry.
Merry who?

Merry Christmas!
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How many chiropractors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but it takes six visits.
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What kind of pants do ghosts wear?

Boo-Jeans.
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What did the snail say when he got on the turtle's shell?

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
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