Where do you learn to make banana splits?

In sundae school.
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What is the opposite of a restaurant?

A workaraunt.
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How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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What do Russians use for napkins?

Soviets
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What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?

One molar solution.
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When is a car not a car?

When it turns into a garage.
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Making bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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What's the tallest building in the world?

The library, because it has the most stories.
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