Where do you learn to make banana splits?

In sundae school.
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I swear, the other day I bought a packet of peanuts, and on the packet it said "may contain nuts." Well, YES! That's what I bought the buggers for!

You'd be annoyed if you opened it and a socket set fell out!"

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Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?

Fo Drizzle!

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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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What did the man on the beach say to Michael Jackson?

Get out of my sun!
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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How many bureaucrats does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to assure the everything possible is being done while the other screws the bulb into the water faucet.
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What did the light bulb say to its mother?

I wuv you watts and watts.
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What do ghosts use to wash their hair?

Shamboo!
Frankenstein: Witch can you make me a lemonade?
Witch: Poof you are a lemonade!
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