Where do you learn to make banana splits?

In sundae school.
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What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?

HeHe
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How many militarists does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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Where does a ten ton elephant sit?

Anywhere it wants to
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What do you give a sick bird?

Tweetment.
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How many sound engineers does it take to change a light bulb

None, sound engineers don't do lights
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How many engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

First they have to agree on which is better; the analog bulb or a digital bulb.
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There were 10 cats in a boat and one jumped out. How many were left?

None, because they were copycats
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Why did the spy stay in bed?

Because he was under cover.
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