Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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What did one elevator say to the other?

I think I'm coming down with something!
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How many TV evangelists does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But for the message of light to continue, send in your donation today.
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What do you call a cat sitting on the beach on Christmas Eve?

Sandy Claws.
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've got you covered!
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What do you call a cow that's just given birth?

[De-Calf-Inated]
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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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