Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.

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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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How many nuclear engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to install the new bulb and six to figure out what to do with the old one for the next 10,000 years.

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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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How many polite New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Both of them.

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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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How Many lead guitarist does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just steal somebody else's light.

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