Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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How many Stanford professors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One to write a paper claiming that light is a pig whitey invention, one to organize a Darkness Studies program, and one hundred to protest the Diablo Canyon Nuclear Generating Station.
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What is an astronauts favorite key on the keyboard?

The space bar!
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What do you call snake with no clothes on?

Snaked.
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What nails do carpenters hate to hit?

Fingernails.
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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How does a train sneeze?

Ah-choo-choo!
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