Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?

Fo Drizzle!

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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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My pastor, he ate too many beans.

He had in his own pews.
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Why did the banana go to the hospital?

Because he wasn't peeling well!
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How do locomotives hear?

Through the engineers.
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I swear, the other day I bought a packet of peanuts, and on the packet it said "may contain nuts." Well, YES! That's what I bought the buggers for!

You'd be annoyed if you opened it and a socket set fell out!"

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How many skunks does it take to make a big stink?

A phew.
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