Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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How do you make a musician's car more aerodynamic?

Take the pizza delivery sign off the roof

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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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What does a skeleton say before dinner?

Bone appetit!
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How does a mouse feel after it takes a shower?

Squeaky clean
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How can you tell is a singer is at your door?

They can't find the key, and they never know when to come in.
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When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?

When you're a mouse.
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