Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a liar?

The pronunciation.
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When Susan's boyfriend proposed marriage to her she said: "I love the simple things in life,

but I don't want one of them for my husband".

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How do you know Donald Trump is talking to you?

Cause your the only one Hair.
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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Why did the cookie go to the Doctor?

Because he was feeling crumby.
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What's a tree's favorite drink?

Rootbeer.
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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