Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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What kind of pants do ghosts wear?

Boo-Jeans.
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.
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How many WASPs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Silly, WASPs don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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What did the class clown take a computer to school?

Her mom told her to bring in an apple for the teacher.
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What does a witch use to keep her hair up?

Scarespray!
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