Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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What's the difference between a tuba and a vacumn cleaner?

You have to turn one of them on before it sucks.

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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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Why doesn't Melania Trump want to be the first lady?

Because she would have to move into a smaller house.
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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What did the laywer name his daughter?

Sue.
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Why was the math book sad?

It had too many problems.
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