Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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Why to lawyers wear neckties?

To keep the foreskin from crawling up their chins.
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What do you call a cheese factory in the Middle East?

Cheeses of Nazareth.
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A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: "Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!" The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: "The driver just insulted me!"

The man says: "You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you."
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Where do mice park their boats?

At the hickory dickory dock.
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"I said to the Gym instructor "Can you teach me to do the splits?" He said, "How flexible are you?"

I said, "I can't make Tuesdays"

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What`s black & white & red all over?

An embarrased mime!
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