Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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What has legs but doesn't walk?

A bed.
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Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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What do envelopes say when you lick them?

Nothing, it shuts them up!
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Why did God make snakes just before lawyers?

To practice.
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How many UFO buffs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. You don't believe me do you? I've got photos! See that big blob? Well, just squint your eyes a bit. . . .
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Why can't a bicycle stand up?

Because it's two tired!
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How many dadaists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

To get to the other side.
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