Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.
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What's black and white and red all over?

A blushing zebra.
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What did the rug say to the floor?

Don't move, I've got you covered.
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Why did the man take a pencil to bed?

Because he wanted to draw the curtains!
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What is the opposite of a restaurant?

A workaraunt.
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How do you open the great lakes?

With the Florida Keys.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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