Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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What 7 letters did Lizzy say when she opened the refrigerator and found it empty?

O I C U R M T
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Why did the surfer think the sea was his friend?

Because it gave him a big wave!
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Who can hold up a bus with one hand?

A crossing guard.
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How many does it take to screw in a light bulb?

10. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.
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How many tenors does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change the bulb and three to whine "It's too high"
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How does a train sneeze?

Ah-choo-choo!
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Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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