Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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What did Donald Trump do before criticizing illegals?

He made sure his pools were clean and his lawns were mowed.
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I just watched a program about beavers.

It was the best dam program I've ever seen.
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What is the difference between a locomotive engineer and a teacher?

One minds the train, one trains the mind.
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I was having dinner with Garry Kasporov (world chess champion) and there was a check tablecloth.

It took him two hours to pass me the salt.
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How are doughnuts and golf alike?

They both have a hole in one!
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Slept like a log last night........

Woke up in the fireplace.

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How many ``pro-lifers'' does it take to change a light bulb?

6: 2 to screw in the bulb and 4 to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
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