Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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I'm in great mood tonight because the other day I entered a competition and I won a years supply of Marmite

......... one jar.
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What do you call an exploding monkey?

A baboom
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How many apples grow on a tree?

All of them.
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How many bureaucrats does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to assure the everything possible is being done while the other screws the bulb into the water faucet.
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Why can't a bicycle stand up?

Because it's two tired!
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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