Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.
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Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball?

Because he had no BODY to go with.
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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If you don't know what introspection is,

you need to take a long, hard look at yourself.
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