Where does a polarbear keep its money?

In a snow bank!
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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What did Cinderella say to the photographer?

Some day my prints will come.
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How many conservatives does it take to change a light bulb?

One; after reflecting in the twilight on the merit of the previous bulb.
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Why did the banana split?

It saw the ginger snap.
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A jump-lead walks into a bar.

The barman says "I'll serve you, but don't start anything"
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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How many radical feminists does it take to change a light bulb?

That isn't funny!
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"I said to the Gym instructor "Can you teach me to do the splits?" He said, "How flexible are you?"

I said, "I can't make Tuesdays"

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