Where does a polarbear keep its money?

In a snow bank!
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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When are kids most likely to go to school?

When the door is open.
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How many lesbians does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: One to screw it in, and two to talk about how much better it is than with a man.
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Why did Mozart sell his chickens?

Because they kept saying "bach bach"!
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How are doughnuts and golf alike?

They both have a hole in one!
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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What kind of flower has lips?

Two-lips!
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What is Donald Trumps biggest dilemma now that he's president?

Finding a cabinet position for the thing on his head!
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