Where does a polarbear keep its money?

In a snow bank!
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How is Donald Trump going to shut down the Department of Education?

By renaming it Trump University.
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H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?

Drinking.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a gigolo?

A gigolo only screws one person at a time.
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The new band called 1023MB.

They haven't had any gigs yet
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What do you call a movie about Donald Trump, Bernie Madoff, and Kenneth Lay?

The League of Extraordinary Con Men.
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If a long dress is evening wear, what is a suit of armor?

Silverware.
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What's a tree's favorite drink?

Rootbeer.
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What nails do carpenters hate to hit?

Fingernails.
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