Where does a polarbear keep its money?

In a snow bank!
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Why does cheese look sane?

Because everything else on the plate is crackers.
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How do you catch a squirrel?

Climb up a tree and act like a nut
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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.
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That girl said she knew me from the vegitarian club,

but I'd never seen herbivore [her before]
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I said to this train driver "I want to go to Paris". He said "Eurostar?"

I said, "I've been on telly but I'm no Dean Martin".
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What do you get when you cross a Christmas tree with an apple?

A pineapple!
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A pair of eyebrows walked into a shop. The assistant asked, "Can I help you?"

The eyebrows replied, "no, we are just browsing"
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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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