Where does a polarbear keep its money?

In a snow bank!
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Why was the ant so confused?

Because all his uncles were "ants"!
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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There was an explosion at a cheese factory in France...

all that was left was de brie.
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What kind of flower has lips?

Two-lips!
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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What has 4 wheels, gives milk, and eats grass.

A cow on a skateboard.
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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.
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