Where does a polarbear keep its money?

In a snow bank!
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Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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What do birds say on Halloween?

Twick o tweet
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The oddly pleasant feeling of looking down on a physist as they drink the last of their beer.

The strange charm of a top down bottoms up.
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What do Santa's elves drink?

Minnesoda.
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What is Claustrophobia?

The fear of Santa Claus.
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When can't you see a cheese?

When it's pasteurised...
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How many "pro-lifers" does it take to change a light bulb?

Six: two to screw in the bulb and four to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
None; the bulb will change itself when it is ready.
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