Where does a polarbear keep its money?

In a snow bank!
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How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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Knock, knock
Who's there?
Merry.
Merry who?

Merry Christmas!
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How many Yuppies (WASPs) does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call the electrician, and one to mix the drinks.
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How many magicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends on what you want to change it into.
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What does the winner of the race lose?

His breath.
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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've got you covered!
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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What's the difference between an accountant and a lawyer?

Accountants know they're boring.
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