Where does a polarbear keep its money?

In a snow bank!
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Why are there fences around a graveyard?

Because people are dying to get in!
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How many graduate students does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it may take upwards of five years for him to get it done.
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When are kids most likely to go to school?

When the door is open.
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Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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When does New Year's Day come before Christmas Day?

Every year!
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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What did the Donald tell an illegal immigrant who was trying to put out a fire at Trump Tower?

No way Hose A.
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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