Where does a polarbear keep its money?

In a snow bank!
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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What can you hold without ever touching it?

A conversation.
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There's two fish in a tank, and one says "How do you drive this thing?"
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How are an apple and a lawyer alike?

They both look good hanging from a tree.
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Why was the piano player arrested?

Because he got into treble with the cops

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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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How many tenors does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change the bulb and three to whine "It's too high"
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Why did the farmer wear one boot to town?

Because he heard there would be a 50% chance of snow!
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