Where does a polarbear keep its money?

In a snow bank!
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What do you call the best butter on the farm?

A goat.
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Why is slippery ice like music?

If you don't C sharp - you'll B flat!

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What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?

Root position cords.

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How many UFO buffs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. You don't believe me do you? I've got photos! See that big blob? Well, just squint your eyes a bit. . . .
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What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo?

Big holes all over Australia!
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How many conservatives does it take to change a light bulb?

One; after reflecting in the twilight on the merit of the previous bulb.
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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a liar?

The pronunciation.
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