Where does a polarbear keep its money?

In a snow bank!
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I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.
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What did the banana do when the monkey chased it?

The banana split
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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What is an astronauts favorite key on the keyboard?

The space bar!
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What did the policeman say when his tummy was rumbling?

Stop! You're under a vest.
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Three people were in a boat. They all fell off. Only two people ended up with wet hair. Why didn't the other person's hair get wet?

Because he was bald!
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Dorian Gray Jokes,

they never get old!
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