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Where does a polarbear keep its money?
In a snow bank!
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What kind of music do planets sing?
Neptunes!
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Where are sharks from?
Finland.
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How do dinosaurs pay their bills?
With Tyrannosaurus checks.
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Dorian Gray Jokes,
they never get old!
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.
The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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How many stock brokers does it take to change a light bulb?
Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes (knowing that it's already burned out).
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How many alumnae of (sorority name) does it take to change a light bulb?
Two. One to change it and one to act as chaperone.
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What do you call a fish without an eye?
Fsh
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