Where does a polarbear keep its money?

In a snow bank!
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How many Bratzlaver Hasidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find a bulb that burns as brightly as the old one.
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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How many Italians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

I dunno exactly, but my brother's girlfriend's father's boss's secretary's sister's next-door neighbors' priest's cousin's union shop steward's uncle's Knights Of Columbus club Sergeant-of-Arms's nephew's best friend did it real cheap for me once.
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How are elephants and trees alike?

They both have trunks
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Middle C, E-Flat and G walk into a bar.

Sorry, says the barman, we don't serve minors.
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What is always hot in the refrigerator?

Chili
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Why did the lamb cross the road?

To get to the baaaaarber shop
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What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?

There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
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