Where does a polarbear keep its money?

In a snow bank!
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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Why can't a bicycle stand up?

Because it's two tired!
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What do ghosts eat for supper?

Spooketi
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What do you call a cow with no legs?

Ground beef.
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How many Stanford professors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One to write a paper claiming that light is a pig whitey invention, one to organize a Darkness Studies program, and one hundred to protest the Diablo Canyon Nuclear Generating Station.
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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What music does cheese listen to?

R & Brie.
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Why do pandas like old movies?

Because they are black and white.
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