Where does a polarbear keep its money?

In a snow bank!
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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Went to the paper shop -

it had blown away.
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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What happened when the lion ate the comedian?

He felt funny.
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What did the judge say to the dentist?

Do you swear to pull the tooth, the whole tooth and nothing but the tooth?
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What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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Why are elephants wrinkled?

Because they don't fit on a ironing board
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