Where does a polarbear keep its money?

In a snow bank!
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How can you tell when a lawyer is lying?

Their lips are moving.
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What kind of phones do people in jail use?

Cell phones
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How many data base people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three:

One to write the light bulb removal program,
one to write the light bulb insertion program, and

one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
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How many Bell Labs vice presidents does it take to change a light bulb?

That's proprietary information. The answer is available from AT&T on payment of license fee (binary only).
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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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What did the octopus say to his girlfriend when he proposed?

Can I have your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage?
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Where do you learn to make banana splits?

In sundae school.
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What does one bucket say to the other?

I am feeling pale today.
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