Where does a polarbear keep its money?

In a snow bank!
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?

White vans.
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What bone will a dog never eat?

A trombone.
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Why is Donald Trump always seen with Melania?

Because all his other wives support Hillary.
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How many IBM PC owners does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but she/he'll have to go out and buy the light bulb adaptor card first, which is extra.
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What do Santa's elves drive?

Minivans.
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How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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How many gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.
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