Where does a polarbear keep its money?

In a snow bank!
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What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?

A pair of Re-Bachs.

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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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They stopped a vulture from bringing his rotting carcasses on the plane

but he said "You said I could have two carry on items!"
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What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?

Its shadow
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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Why do ducks fly south?

Because it's too far to walk!
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