Where does a polarbear keep its money?

In a snow bank!
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How many investment brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes.
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Why was the mouse afraid of the water?

Catfish
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Where do fortune tellers dance?

At the crystal ball.
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What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?

A brick layer!
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What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house?

Hope it's Halloween!!
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How many TV evangelists does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But for the message of light to continue, send in your donation today.
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How many lawyer jokes are there?

Only three. The rest are true stories.
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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