Where does a polarbear keep its money?

In a snow bank!
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What do basketball players and babies have in common?

They both dribble.
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I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day.

Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.

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Where would an astronaut park his space ship?

A parking meteor!
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"Mommy, everyone says I look like a werewolf."

"Please be quiet and comb your face."
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"My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance.

We'll see about that."

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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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How many TV evangelists does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But for the message of light to continue, send in your donation today.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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