Where does a ten ton elephant sit?

Anywhere it wants to
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When should you buy a bird?

When it's going cheep!

Did you hear the one about the crow and the telephone pole?
He wanted to make a long distance caw.
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What kind of cats like to go bowling?

Alley cats.
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What do you call someone who hangs around with musicians?

A drummer

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How many editors of Poor Richard's Almanac does it take to replace a light bulb?

Many hands make light work.
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What's black and white, black and white, black and white and green?

Three skunks fighting over a pickle

First dog: My master calls me Furball. How about you?
Second Dog: My master calls me Sitboy
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What did one owl say to the other owl?

Happy Owl-ween!
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What do a viola and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is happy when the case is closed

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What is the difference between a lawyer and a rooster?

When a rooster wakes up in the morning, its primal urge is to cluck defiance.
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