Where does a ten ton elephant sit?

Anywhere it wants to
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What do you call a bankrupt Santa?

Saint Nickel-less.
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How many TV evangelists does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But for the message of light to continue, send in your donation today.
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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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What does a calf become after it's 1 year old?

2 years old.

Cow: "Mooooove over"
Sheep: "Naaaaaaa."
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What did Michael Jackson tell the little boy?

"The way you make me feel, it really turns me on!"
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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Who says sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me?

A guy who has never been hit with a dictionary.
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Whats the difference between a cat and a compound sentence?

One has claws at the end of its paws and one has a pause at the end of its clause
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