Where does a ten ton elephant sit?

Anywhere it wants to
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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"I said to the Gym instructor "Can you teach me to do the splits?" He said, "How flexible are you?"

I said, "I can't make Tuesdays"

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vulture?

The lawyer gets frequent flyer miles.
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How many Agents does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Actually, agents will screw in just about anything.
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What can you hold without using your hands?

Your breath!
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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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What kind of motorcycle does Santa ride?

Holly Davidson.
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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