Where does a ten ton elephant sit?

Anywhere it wants to
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How many frat guys does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Three: One to screw it in, and the other two to help him down off the keg.
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Why did the gardener plant his money?

He wanted his soil to be rich!
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What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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What did the little girl say when she had to choose between a tricycle and a candy bar?

"Trike or Treat"?
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What do you get if you cross an insect with the Easter rabbit?

Bugs Bunny.
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.
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