Where does a ten ton elephant sit?

Anywhere it wants to
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Why did the man take a pencil to bed?

Because he wanted to draw the curtains!
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What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?

CSI
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How many Agents does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Actually, agents will screw in just about anything.
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Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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Why does the law society prohibit sex between lawyers and their clients?

To prevent clients from being billed twice for essentially the same service.
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What do you call a boomerang that won't come back?

A stick.
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Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?

He was board.
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A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar.

The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"
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