Where does a ten ton elephant sit?

Anywhere it wants to

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Why was the piano player arrested?

Because he got into treble with the cops

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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon

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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.

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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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How many believable, competent, ``just-right-for-the-job'' presidential candidates does it take to change a light bulb?

It's going to be a dark 4 years, isn't it?
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"Mommy, everyone says I look like a werewolf."

"Please be quiet and comb your face."
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What is a baby's motto?

If at first you don't succeed, cry and cry again!
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What has a bed that you can't sleep in?

A river.

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