Where does an elephant pack his luggage?

In his trunk
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Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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What did one eye say to the other?

Between you and me, something smells.
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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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What do you do when your chair breaks?

Call a chairman.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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What lies on its back, one hundred feet in the air?

A dead centipede.
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What's the only difference between Donald Trump and Bozo the Clown?

Bozo The Clown has real hair on his head.
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What room does a ghost not need?

A living room!
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