Where does an elephant pack his luggage?

In his trunk
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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What do you call a guy who's born in Columbus, grows up in Cleveland, and then dies in Cincinnati?

Dead.
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What does the toast wear to bed?

Jammies!
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Why are there fences around a graveyard?

Because people are dying to get in!
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How many brewers does it take to change a light bulb?

About one third less than for a regular bulb.
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Where do horses live?

In the neigh-borhood.
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What's in the middle of nowhere?

The letter H.
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