Where does an elephant pack his luggage?

In his trunk
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What did the calculator say to the math student?

You can count on me!
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My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well,

I was amazed, I never knew they worked.

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How is Donald Trump going to create middle class jobs?

By paying them to cheer for him during campaign events.
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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?

It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
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How do you make a fire with two sticks?

Make sure one is a match!
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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How many stock brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes (knowing that it's already burned out).
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