Where does an elephant pack his luggage?

In his trunk
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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Why did God make snakes just before lawyers?

To practice.
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How do you get a trumpet to sound like a french horn?

Put your hand in the bell and play a lot of wrong notes.

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a prostitute?

A prostitute will stop screwing you when you're dead.
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What time is it when an elephant sits on your bed?

Time to get a new bed
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Know how copper wire was invented?

Two lawyers were fighting over a penny.
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What goes tick-tock, bow-wow, tick-tock, bow-wow?

A watch dog.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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