Where does an elephant pack his luggage?

In his trunk
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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What is on the ground and also a hundred feet in the air?

A centipede on its back!
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How is Donald Trump going to shut down the Department of Education?

By renaming it Trump University.
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How many fire safety guys dose it take to screw in a light bulb?

One -- but it's an 8 hour minimum.
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How many Bratzlaver Hasidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find a bulb that burns as brightly as the old one.
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What is the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb?

You can unscrew a light bulb.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
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What time is it when an elephant sits on your bed?

Time to get a new bed
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