Where does Dorian Gray shop?

Forever 21
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Why can't Donald Trump be a Lannister?

Because he never pays his debts.
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What do you call a baby bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly. But when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank,

proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it.

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Why are babies good at soccer?

Because they dribble!
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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What do you call a mad elephant?

An earthquake.
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What did the Donald tell an illegal immigrant who was trying to put out a fire at Trump Tower?

No way Hose A.
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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