Where does Dorian Gray shop?

Forever 21
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What did the little girl say when she had to choose between a tricycle and a candy bar?

"Trike or Treat"?
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I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite

He said NaBrO
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What is the difference between a locomotive engineer and a teacher?

One minds the train, one trains the mind.
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How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They have machines to do that now.
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What are lawyers good for?

They make used car salesmen look good.
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What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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What's black and white and red all over?

A sunburnt zebra.
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A Bhuddist monk goes to a hotdog stand

and says make me one with everything.
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Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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