Where does Dorian Gray shop?

Forever 21
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There's two fish in a tank, and one says "How do you drive this thing?"
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How many agnostics does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Agnostics question whether electricity really exists.
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I went to the doctors the other day and I said, 'Have you got anything for wind?'

So he gave me a kite.

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How many nuclear engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to install the new bulb and six to figure out what to do with the old one for the next 10,000 years.
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Why was the ant so confused?

Because all his uncles were "ants"!
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.
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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish
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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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