Where does Dorian Gray shop?

Forever 21
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Why did the rooster cross the road?

To prove he wasn't a chicken!
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Why does Trump love the poorly educated?

Because they only know their ABCs "Anybody But Clinton".
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Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly. But when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank,

proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it.

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How do you stop a dog barking in the back seat of a car?

Put him in the front seat.
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Anyone know any jokes about sodium?

Na
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How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away his credit card
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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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How many Jewish renewal rabbis does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends. One, if it's an eco-kosher bulb that isn't going to be lit by electricity generated from nuclear power. Two, as long as a man and a woman rabbi have equal turns putting in the bulb. Three, one to change it, one to do a Buddhist mindfulness practice during the change, and one to document the paradigm shift in a best-selling book called The Jew in the Lightbulb. Four, same as above plus an additional rabbi to study the psycho-halachic implications of such a change and then lead a retreat weekend on the experience.
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What does the winner of the race lose?

His breath.
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