Where does Dorian Gray shop?

Forever 21
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What's the one thing that never works when it's fixed?

A jury.
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A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"

The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
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If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why don't you swerve to hit him?

It might be your bicycle.
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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What's black and white and red all over?

A newspaper!
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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