Where does Dorian Gray shop?

Forever 21
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What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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What did the class clown take a computer to school?

Her mom told her to bring in an apple for the teacher.
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How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But the guitarist has to show him first.

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How do you make a rock float?

Put it in a glass with some ice cream and root beer.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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What do you call a calf after it's six months old?

Seven months old.
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Silver walks up to Gold in a bar and says, "AU, get outta here!"
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What do you throw to a drowning lawyer?

His partners.
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