Where does Dorian Gray shop?

Forever 21
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I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite

He said NaBrO
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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What goes tick-tock, bow-wow, tick-tock, bow-wow?

A watch dog.
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How are elephants and trees alike?

They both have trunks
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What's the difference between an accountant and a lawyer?

Accountants know they're boring.
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How many referral agents does it take to change a light bulb?

Two: One to screw you out of a fee, and the other to send you to a store where they ran out of bulbs weeks ago.
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What is the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb?

You can unscrew a light bulb.
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I swear, the other day I bought a packet of peanuts, and on the packet it said "may contain nuts." Well, YES! That's what I bought the buggers for!

You'd be annoyed if you opened it and a socket set fell out!"

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Where does the snowman hide his money?

In the snow bank.
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