Where does Dorian Gray shop?

Forever 21
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What do you throw to a drowning lawyer?

His partners.
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Name four men that are in a rock group together but none of them sing nor play music...

Mt Rushmore. They're a rock group.. it's a rock...group
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A man goes to a zoo and discovers there is only one animal and it's a dog.

It was a Shih Tzu
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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What happens when you play "the blues" backwards?

Your wife comes back to you, your dog returns to life and you get out of prison.

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What is the most important rule in chemistry?

Never lick the spoon!
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What element is derived from a Norse god?

Thorium.
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What do lawyers and sperm have in common?

One in 3,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being.
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What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

Frostbite.
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