Where does Dorian Gray shop?

Forever 21
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How many WASPs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Silly, WASPs don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?

It was two tired.
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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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And the mermaid, that was weird. What was she wearing in math class?

An Algae-bra
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Why was the mouse afraid of the water?

Catfish
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How do you make a musician's car more aerodynamic?

Take the pizza delivery sign off the roof

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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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