Where does Dorian Gray shop?

Forever 21
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My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well,

I was amazed, I never knew they worked.

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What has a head but no body?

A nail.
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What does an octopus wear when it gets cold?

A coat of arms.
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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Where do fortune tellers dance?

At the crystal ball.
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How many TV comedians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to say "Sock it to Me." (Notes: Sock it = Socket. Also, for the infant readers among you, this was a popular catch-phrase from "Laugh In.")
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What did rural America tell Donald Trump?

You're Hired.
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What did the ceiling say to the chandelier?

You're the only bright spot in my life.
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