Where does Dorian Gray shop?

Forever 21
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What nails do carpenters hate to hit?

Fingernails.
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What do you get when you cross a Christmas tree with an apple?

A pineapple!
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How many alumnae of (sorority name) does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change it and one to act as chaperone.
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How do you stop a dog barking in the back seat of a car?

Put him in the front seat.
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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What do you call a loony spaceman?

An astronut.
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What's the difference between in-laws and outlaws?

Outlaws are wanted.
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A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."

The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."
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How many fire safety guys dose it take to screw in a light bulb?

One -- but it's an 8 hour minimum.
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