Where does Dorian Gray shop?

Forever 21
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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.
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Why shouldn't Donald Trump rag on illegal immigrants?

Because an undocumented worker has been living on his head for the past 2 decades!
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Why are elephants wrinkled?

Because they don't fit on a ironing board
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Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?

He was board.
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How can you tell when a lawyer is lying?

Their lips are moving.
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How many supporters of George W. Bush does it take to change a light bulb?

None. First, denounce the nearest Democrats as liberal pantywaists who deliberately caused the bulb to blow. Second, announce that the Bush administration has proved that the science of electricity is faulty, so no action ever needs to be taken on global light change. Third, keep the need for a new light bulb strictly secret. Fourth, use the money for new light bulbs as an excuse for another tax cut for Bush's wealthy friends. Fifth, explain that you would never "disassemble" about the need for light, you are way too busy spreading freedom and democracy in the Middle East by eliminating freedom and democracy in the United States.
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How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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Why can't you compare Donald Trump to cancer?

Because sometimes you can get rid of cancer.
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What is a ghost's favorite fruit?

Booberries!
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