Where does Dorian Gray shop?

Forever 21
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What do you call a bankrupt Santa?

Saint Nickel-less.
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What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from?

Separation anxiety.
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Why was the math book sad?

It had too many problems.
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When the attendant asked the photon if it had any bags to check

It said Nah, I'm traveling light.
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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What do clarinetists use for birth control?

Their personalities.

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What do you call a cow with no legs?

Ground beef.
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