Where does Dorian Gray shop?

Forever 21
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How many economists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to assume the ladder and one to change the bulb.

A': None. If the government would just leave it alone, it would screw itself in.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?

Fo Drizzle!

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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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Silver walks up to Gold in a bar and says, "AU, get outta here!"
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Why did the chicken cross the playground?

To get to the other slide!
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Why did the people not like the restaurant on the moon?

Because there was no atmosphere.
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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What is a cat's favorite movie?

The sound of Mew-sic
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