Where does Dorian Gray shop?

Forever 21
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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What's a puppy's favorite kind of pizza?

Pupperoni.
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What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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What do you call a boomerang that won't come back?

A stick.
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What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.
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