Where does Dorian Gray shop?

Forever 21
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What kind of driver has no arms or legs?

A screwdriver.
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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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What kind of underwear to reporters wear?

News briefs.
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How do you catch a unique bird?

Unique up on it.
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Why are pirates great singers?

They can hit the high C's!

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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.
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What happened when the monster ate the electric company?

He was in shock for a week.
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What is a ghost's favorite fruit?

Booberries!
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