Where does Dorian Gray shop?

Forever 21
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Kleptomaniacs just don't get puns

they always take things literally.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?

coz Donald ducked
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Have you seen the new HGTV show about the Whitehouse makeover?

It's called "Trump It or Dump It".
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Why do ghosts make good cheerleaders?

Because they have a lot of spirit.
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What's black and white, black and white, black and white and green?

Three skunks fighting over a pickle

First dog: My master calls me Furball. How about you?
Second Dog: My master calls me Sitboy
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What did the boat say to the pier?

What's up, dock?
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What did Michael Jackson tell the little boy?

"The way you make me feel, it really turns me on!"
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