Where does Dorian Gray shop?

Forever 21
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What do you call snake with no clothes on?

Snaked.
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Went to the corner shop -

bought 4 corners.

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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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Where do orcas hear music?

Orca-stras
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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Why was the piano player arrested?

Because he got into treble with the cops

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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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