Where does Dorian Gray shop?

Forever 21
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How many Anglicans does it take to change a lightbulb?

A whole synod. One to move that the bulb be changed while the others debate until the room spins.
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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What concert costs 45 cents?

50 cent featuring Nickelback

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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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Why did the cat go to Minnesota?

To get a mini soda
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What do lawyers wear in court?

Lawsuits.
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How many supporters of George W. Bush does it take to change a light bulb?

None. First, denounce the nearest Democrats as liberal pantywaists who deliberately caused the bulb to blow. Second, announce that the Bush administration has proved that the science of electricity is faulty, so no action ever needs to be taken on global light change. Third, keep the need for a new light bulb strictly secret. Fourth, use the money for new light bulbs as an excuse for another tax cut for Bush's wealthy friends. Fifth, explain that you would never "disassemble" about the need for light, you are way too busy spreading freedom and democracy in the Middle East by eliminating freedom and democracy in the United States.
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