Where does Dorian Gray shop?

Forever 21
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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What did the calculator say to the math student?

You can count on me!
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How many Stanford professors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One to write a paper claiming that light is a pig whitey invention, one to organize a Darkness Studies program, and one hundred to protest the Diablo Canyon Nuclear Generating Station.
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What do Michael Jackson and Malt Whiskey have in common?

They both come in tots.
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What do you call a deer that costs a dollar?

A buck.
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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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The new band called 1023MB.

They haven't had any gigs yet
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What's black and white and red all over?

A blushing zebra.
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What is the strongest animal?

A snail because it carries it's home.
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