Where does Dorian Gray shop?

Forever 21
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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Why does the law society prohibit sex between lawyers and their clients?

To prevent clients from being billed twice for essentially the same service.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a prostitute?

A prostitute will stop screwing you when you're dead.
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What did the octopus say to his girlfriend when he proposed?

Can I have your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage?
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There were two cows in a paddock. One of the cows says, "moo"

and the other one says, "That's what I was going to say."
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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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What do you call a dinosaur at the rodeo?

A Broncosaurus or a Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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Where do mice park their boats?

At the hickory dickory dock.
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