Where does Dorian Gray shop?

Forever 21
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What do you call a thieving alligator?

A crookodile
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How do you prevent a Summer cold?

Catch it in the Winter!
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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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Why is it that many lawyers have broken noses?

From chasing parked ambulances.
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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How many junkies does it take to screw in a light bulb?

``Oh wow, is it like dark, man?''
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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What's the difference between Donald Trump and Ronald Reagan?

If Trump gets Alzheimers his IQ will go up.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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