Where does Dorian Gray shop?

Forever 21
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What did the light bulb say to its mother?

I wuv you watts and watts.
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What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?

Root position cords.

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There was a rooster sitting on a top of a barn. If it laid an egg, which way would it roll?

Roosters don't lay eggs!
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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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What kind of phones do people in jail use?

Cell phones
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What kind of math do Snowy Owls like?

Owlgebra
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Went to the paper shop -

it had blown away.
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How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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There were five people under one umbrella. Why didn't they get wet?

It wasn't raining!
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