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Where does Dorian Gray shop?
Forever 21
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Why are the floors of basketball courts always so damp?
The players dribble a lot.
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.
When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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What do you call the best butter on the farm?
A goat.
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I swear, the other day I bought a packet of peanuts, and on the packet it said "may contain nuts." Well, YES! That's what I bought the buggers for!
You'd be annoyed if you opened it and a socket set fell out!"
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How did the egg cross the road?
It scrambled across!
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A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar.
The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"
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How many Wardrobe people does it take to screw in a light bulb?
"Nobody said I needed doubles on that!"
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?
Take the words out of his mouth
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I'm sorry we can't let the elephants back into the public pool.
They keep dropping their trunks.
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