Where does Dorian Gray shop?

Forever 21
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What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?

CSI
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How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
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What is the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb?

You can unscrew a light bulb.
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Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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How is Donald Trump going to shut down the Department of Education?

By renaming it Trump University.
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What did the alien say when he was out of room?

I'm all spaced out!
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How many fire safety guys dose it take to screw in a light bulb?

One -- but it's an 8 hour minimum.
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What's the only difference between Donald Trump and Bozo the Clown?

Bozo The Clown has real hair on his head.
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What has 6 eyes but can't see?

3 blind mice.
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