Where does Dorian Gray shop?

Forever 21
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What do you give a pig with a rash?

Oinkment.
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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How many Feminists does it take to change a light bulb?

That's not funny!!!
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What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?

There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
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How many Federal employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Sorry, that item has been cut from the budget!
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How are an apple and a lawyer alike?

They both look good hanging from a tree.
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Why is a skeleton so mean?

He doesn't have a heart.
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What kind of band can't play music?

A rubber band.
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Why did the cow go to outer space?

To visit the milky way.
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