Where does Dorian Gray shop?

Forever 21
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What do you give a pig with a rash?

Oinkment.

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How many Bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb??

What's a light bulb?

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What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from?

Separation anxiety.
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Why are elephants wrinkled?

Because they don't fit on a ironing board

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If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?

H2O cubed.
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My pastor, he ate too many beans.

He had in his own pews.

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Why did the pianist keep banging his head against the keys?

He was playing by ear

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What is a tornado's favorite game?

Twister!
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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