Where does Friday come before Monday?

In the dictionary.
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Where do mice park their boats?

At the hickory dickory dock.
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What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from?

Separation anxiety.
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What do you get if you cross an insect with the Easter rabbit?

Bugs Bunny.
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What do you call a movie about Donald Trump, Bernie Madoff, and Kenneth Lay?

The League of Extraordinary Con Men.
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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Were does a boat go when it is sick?

To the dock.
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