Where does Friday come before Monday?

In the dictionary.
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Why did the elephant leave the circus?

He was tired of working for peanuts.
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So the Pillsbury Doughboy's pants fell off and I..

feel really weird about donuts right now.
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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What has a head but no body?

A nail.
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Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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What is the strongest animal?

A snail because it carries it's home.
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I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite

He said NaBrO
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How many Feminists does it take to change a light bulb?

That's not funny!!!
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