Where does Friday come before Monday?

In the dictionary.
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I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day.

Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.

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Why did the cow go to outer space?

To visit the milky way.
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Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?

coz Donald ducked
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How many Yuppies (WASPs) does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call the electrician, and one to mix the drinks.
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What school do you have to drop out of to graduate from?

Parachute school!
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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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Where do orcas hear music?

Orca-stras
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How many lawyer jokes are there?

Only three. The rest are true stories.
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