Where does Friday come before Monday?

In the dictionary.
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What did the alien say when he was out of room?

I'm all spaced out!
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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My pastor, he ate too many beans.

He had in his own pews.
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Where is a rabbit's favorite place to eat?

Ihop
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer?

An offer you can't understand
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What is a shark's favorite sandwich?

Peanut butter and jellyfish.
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What's the only difference between Donald Trump and Bozo the Clown?

Bozo The Clown has real hair on his head.
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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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