Where does Friday come before Monday?

In the dictionary.
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Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball?

Because he had no BODY to go with.
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If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they'd be alloys.
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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How many Yuppies (WASPs) does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call the electrician, and one to mix the drinks.
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What does Melania see in Donald Trump?

"Ten billion dollars and high cholesterol!"
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How do you catch a tame bird?

The tame way, unique up on it!
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Why don't aliens celebrate Chistmas?

Because they don't want to give away their presence.
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