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Where does Friday come before Monday?
In the dictionary.
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There's a fine line between a numerator and denominator.
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How many alumnae of (sorority name) does it take to change a light bulb?
Two. One to change it and one to act as chaperone.
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What do you call a pig that does karate?
A pork chop.
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What bird can lift the most?
A crane.
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What is up in the air and wobbles?
A jellycopter
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Why did the doughnut shop close?
The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks.
They charged one - and let the other one off.
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Why does the Easter Bunny have a shiny nose?
His powder puff is on the wrong end.
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What does one bucket say to the other?
I am feeling pale today.
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