Where does Friday come before Monday?

In the dictionary.
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How do you make a hot dog stand?

Steal its chair.
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What do you call a deer with no eyes?

No I deer
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Which is the most religious cheese?

Emmental...it's very hol(e)y...
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What is the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb?

You can unscrew a light bulb.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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How do you know when its Michael Jacksons bed time ?

When the big hand touches the little hand
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What's a light-year?

The same as a regular year, but with less calories.
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How do you make Halloween great again?

By carving a Trumpkin.
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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