Where does Friday come before Monday?

In the dictionary.
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Why did the people not like the restaurant on the moon?

Because there was no atmosphere.
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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What did the guitarist do when his teacher told him to turn his amplifier on?

He caressed it softly and told it that he loved it

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What kind of fly has a frog in its throat?

A hoarse fly!
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What is "HIJKLMNO"?

H2O.
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How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.
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What airline does Donald Trump aspire to fly?

Hair Force One!
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What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?

A try and try and try-ceratops
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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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