Where does Friday come before Monday?

In the dictionary.
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I just watched a program about beavers.

It was the best dam program I've ever seen.
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What kind of ties can't you wear?

Railroad ties.
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Why was the piano player arrested?

Because he got into treble with the cops

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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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What did the light bulb say to its mother?

I wuv you watts and watts.
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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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I’ve never gone to a gun range before.

I decided to give it a shot!
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a herd of buffalo?

The lawyer charges more.
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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