Where does Friday come before Monday?

In the dictionary.
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How many Sound Recordists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

WHAT?
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Why did the surfer think the sea was his friend?

Because it gave him a big wave!
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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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What happened when the monster ate the electric company?

He was in shock for a week.
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Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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Why are elephants wrinkled?

Because they don't fit on a ironing board
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What did the sardine call the submarine?

A can of people.
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What's the difference between a jellyfish and a lawyer?

One's a spineless, poisonous blob. The other is a form of sea life.
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What has 6 eyes but can't see?

3 blind mice.
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