Where does Friday come before Monday?

In the dictionary.
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What did Cinderella say to the photographer?

Some day my prints will come.
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What did the momma buffalo say to her son before he went to school?

Bison

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How do you open the great lakes?

With the Florida Keys.

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How many Bratzlaver Chassidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find one that burned as brightly as the first one.

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Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.
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Why don't honest people need beds?

They don't lie.
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What's round and bad-tempered?

A vicious circle.

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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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