Where does Friday come before Monday?

In the dictionary.
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What's green and flies as fast as a speeding bullet?

Super Pickle!
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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What do you call a Disney Princess that supports Donald Trump?

Snow White Supremacist.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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What do you call a bankrupt Santa?

Saint Nickel-less.
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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What do Russians use for napkins?

Soviets
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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Well, first let's talk about the concept behind this whole "light bulb" thing.
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If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they'd be alloys.
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