Where does Friday come before Monday?

In the dictionary.
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What's black and white, black and white, black and white and green?

Three skunks fighting over a pickle

First dog: My master calls me Furball. How about you?
Second Dog: My master calls me Sitboy
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Why is a skeleton so mean?

He doesn't have a heart.
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Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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What nails do carpenters hate to hit?

Fingernails.
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What do you call an exploding monkey?

A baboom
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What's black and white and red all over?

A newspaper!
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What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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What is the world's longest punctuation mark?

The hundred yard dash.
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