Where does Friday come before Monday?

In the dictionary.
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What do you call a deer with no eyes?

No I deer
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Who's richer — the butcher, the baker, or the candlestick maker?

The baker, because he has lots of dough.
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What does GOP stand for?

Grabs Our Pussy.
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I think I want a job cleaning mirrors.


It's something I could really see myself doing.
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Don't trust atoms,

they make up everything.
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What do whales eat?

Fish and ships.
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Four fonts walk into a bar

the barman says "Oi - get out! We don't want your type in here"

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Clowns divorce:

custardy battle.
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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