Where does Friday come before Monday?

In the dictionary.
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How are an apple and a lawyer alike?

They both look good hanging from a tree.
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What does Melania see in Donald Trump?

"Ten billion dollars and high cholesterol!"
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Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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How many does it take to screw in a light bulb?

10. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.
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Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck
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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs
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How many magicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends on what you want to change it into.
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How do you know Donald Trump is talking to you?

Cause your the only one Hair.
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