Where does Friday come before Monday?

In the dictionary.
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What do you call a belt made out of watches?

A waist of time!
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What has four legs and goes "Oom, Oom"?

A cow walking backwards
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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs
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Why is Superman's costume so tight?

Because he wears a size "S".
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What's the tallest building in the world?

The library, because it has the most stories.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?

Wet feet.
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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I'm in great mood tonight because the other day I entered a competition and I won a years supply of Marmite

......... one jar.
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