Where does Friday come before Monday?

In the dictionary.
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Why did the cookie go to the Doctor?

Because he was feeling crumby.
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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Why did the Blonde stare at the Orange Juice carton?

Because it said CONCENTRATE.
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I'm sorry we can't let the elephants back into the public pool.

They keep dropping their trunks.
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What did the necktie say to the hat?

You go on ahead. I'll hang around for a while.
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Why are lawyers like nuclear weapons?

If one side has one, the other side has to get one. Once launched, they cannot be recalled. When they land, they screw up everything forever.
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What's green and loud?

A froghorn.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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Where did the sheep go on vacation?

The baaaahamas
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