Where does Friday come before Monday?

In the dictionary.
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Anyone know any jokes about sodium?

Na
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What can you hold without using your hands?

Your breath!
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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What do you get when you plant a frog?

A cr-oak tree.
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

Because he was caught tweeting on a test.
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What does Santa like to do in the garden?

Hoe, hoe, hoe!
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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Why can't you compare Donald Trump to cancer?

Because sometimes you can get rid of cancer.
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