Where does Friday come before Monday?

In the dictionary.
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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What's a tree's favorite drink?

Rootbeer.
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What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?

HeHe
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?

2 Na
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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What has four legs, a trunk, and sunglasses?

A mouse on vacation.
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