Where does Friday come before Monday?

In the dictionary.
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Where do mice park their boats?

At the hickory dickory dock.

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How many light bulbs does it take to change a light bulb?

One, if it knows its own Goedel number.


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Why are the floors of basketball courts always so damp?

The players dribble a lot.
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!

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How does Donald Trump intend to spice up the Republican Convention?

By relocating it to a casino!
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What kind of motorcycle does Santa ride?

Holly Davidson.
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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.

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What is a tree's favorite drink?

Root beer.

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