Where does Friday come before Monday?

In the dictionary.
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What is Donald Trumps biggest dilemma now that he's president?

Finding a cabinet position for the thing on his head!
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How do you know an elephant has been in your refrigerator?

There are footprints in the butter.
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Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK.
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How many French Horn players does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he/she will spend hours checking for technical problems.
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I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite

He said NaBrO
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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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When are kids most likely to go to school?

When the door is open.
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Why did the boy take a ruler to bed?

To see how long he slept.
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What do you call a cow in a tornado?

A milkshake
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