Where does Friday come before Monday?

In the dictionary.
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What do dinosaurs and decent lawyers have in common?

They're both extinct.
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What is the easiest way to count a herd of cattle?

With a cowculator.
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What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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How many sound engineers does it take to change a light bulb

None, sound engineers don't do lights
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What did Michael Jackson tell the little boy?

"The way you make me feel, it really turns me on!"
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How many bikers does it take to change a light bulb?

It takes two. One to change the bulb, and the other to kick the switch.
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Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK.
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What do you call a lawyer gone bad.

Senator.
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Why don't they know where Mozart is buried?

Because he's Haydn.

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