Where does Friday come before Monday?

In the dictionary.
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What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?

One molar solution.
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Why did the skeleton cross the road?

To get to the body shop.
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How many Stanford professors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One to write a paper claiming that light is a pig whitey invention, one to organize a Darkness Studies program, and one hundred to protest the Diablo Canyon Nuclear Generating Station.
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Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15 Degrees C

and still be 0k?
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There were 10 cats in a boat and one jumped out. How many were left?

None, because they were copycats
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Where do all the letters sleep?

In the alphabed.
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What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?

Its shadow
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What do you call a cow with three legs?

Lean beef.
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Why did the belt go to jail?

It held up a pair of pants.
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