Where does Friday come before Monday?

In the dictionary.
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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How does an attorney sleep?

First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other.
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What kind of math do Snowy Owls like?

Owlgebra
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How do you know when its Michael Jacksons bed time ?

When the big hand touches the little hand
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

He got caught peeping on a test.
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Whats the difference between Terrorists and Accordion players?

Terrorists have sympathizers

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A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"

The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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What did one owl say to the other owl?

Happy Owl-ween!
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