Where does Friday come before Monday?

In the dictionary.
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How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.
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What do you call a bruise on a T-Rex?

A dino-sore
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What do a baker and a millionaire have in common?

They are both rolling in the dough!
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How can you tell when a lawyer is lying?

Their lips are moving.
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What did the little girl say when she had to choose between a tricycle and a candy bar?

"Trike or Treat"?
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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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What did the sardine call the submarine?

A can of people.
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What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from?

Separation anxiety.
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