Where does Friday come before Monday?

In the dictionary.
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What do you call a pig who knows karate?

Porkchop
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If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?

H2O cubed.
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How many BBS jokers does it take to tell yet another LBJ?

1,622. One to tell the original joke, and the rest to submit give some minor variation of it! For example:
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How can you tell that a train just went by?

It left its tracks.
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I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with

but I've been trippin' all day.
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Kleptomaniacs just don't get puns

they always take things literally.
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How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."
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How many shaggy dogs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Fewer than it takes to screw in a heavy bulb.
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How do you make a million dollars singing jazz?

Start with two million.

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