Where does Friday come before Monday?

In the dictionary.
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When is a door not a door?

When it's ajar!
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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Why are kindergarten teachers so good?

They can make little things count.
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A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off.

"because," he said "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
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What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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What kind of motorcycle does Santa ride?

Holly Davidson.
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Which candles burn longer, bee's wax or tallow?

Neither, they all burn shorter.
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How do you know when the moon has enough to eat?

When it's full.
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