Where does Friday come before Monday?

In the dictionary.
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Why did the people not like the restaurant on the moon?

Because there was no atmosphere.
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What`s black & white & red all over?

An embarrased mime!
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How many Christians does it take to change a light bulb?

Three, but they're really only one.
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What day of the week tastes the best?

Sunday!
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What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?

There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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What did the alien say to the garden?

Take me to your weeder!
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What does GOP stand for?

Grabs Our Pussy.
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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