Where does Friday come before Monday?

In the dictionary.
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What did the guitarist do when his teacher told him to turn his amplifier on?

He caressed it softly and told it that he loved it

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How many agnostics does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Agnostics question whether electricity really exists.
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Where do you go to find a million story building?

You go to the Library!
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What's the best parting gift?

A comb.
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What happened when the butcher backed up into his meat grinder?

he got a little behind in his work.
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How many UFO buffs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. You don't believe me do you? I've got photos! See that big blob? Well, just squint your eyes a bit. . . .
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Why did the Blonde stare at the Orange Juice carton?

Because it said CONCENTRATE.
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What does Santa like to do in the garden?

Hoe, hoe, hoe!
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Why can't Donald Trump be a Lannister?

Because he never pays his debts.
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