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Where does Friday come before Monday?
In the dictionary.
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What do you call a lawyer gone bad.
Senator.
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How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?
The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
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What day of the week tastes the best?
Sunday!
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How many assholes does it take to change a light bulb?
None; assholes never see the light anyway.
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How do you make Halloween great again?
By carving a Trumpkin.
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Why did the banana go to the hospital?
Because he wasn't peeling well!
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What time is it when an elephant sits on your bed?
Time to get a new bed
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Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?
Because it's pretty basic stuff.
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Why doesn't Donald Trump sweat like Marco Rubio?
Because he has such yuuuuge fans!
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