Where does Friday come before Monday?

In the dictionary.
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What do you call a bruise on a T-Rex?

A dino-sore
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How many cops does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. It turned itself in.
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I just watched a debate as to which cartoons were better- Disney or Warner Bros.

I have to say it got very animated.
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Why were the teacher's eyes crossed?

She couldn't control her pupils.
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What do you call a wheel made of iron?

A ferrous wheel.
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What's the difference between Donald Trump and Ronald Reagan?

If Trump gets Alzheimers his IQ will go up.
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Why did the cow go in the spaceship?

It wanted to see the mooooooon!
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What did one magnet say to the other?

I find you very attractive.
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There were two cows in a paddock. One of the cows says, "moo"

and the other one says, "That's what I was going to say."
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