Where does Friday come before Monday?

In the dictionary.
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If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why don't you swerve to hit him?

It might be your bicycle.
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Why was the mouse afraid of the water?

Catfish
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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What did the calculator say to the math student?

You can count on me!
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a prostitute?

A prostitute will stop screwing you when you're dead.
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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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