Where does Friday come before Monday?

In the dictionary.
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Why did the skeleton cross the road?

To get to the body shop.
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What do you call a slow skier?

A slopepoke!
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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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What nails do carpenters hate to hit?

Fingernails.
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How do you make a hot dog stand?

Steal its chair.
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Why is b always cool?

Because it's between ac.
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There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest.. He sent in ten different puns, in the hope that at least one of the puns would win.

Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.
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How many Executive Producers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Executive Producers don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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