Where does Friday come before Monday?

In the dictionary.
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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What do you call a loony spaceman?

An astronut.
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What do you call a dinosaur that smashes everything in its path?

Tyrannosaurus wrecks.
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Where do cars go for a swim?

At the carpool!
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What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house?

Hope it's Halloween!!
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What do you call the best butter on the farm?

A goat.
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How many light bulbs does it take to change a light bulb?

One, if it knows its own Goedel number.
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How many alumnae of (sorority name) does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change it and one to act as chaperone.
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How do dinosaurs pay their bills?

With Tyrannosaurus checks.
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