Where does Friday come before Monday?

In the dictionary.
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How did the egg cross the road?

It scrambled across!
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Why did the farmer wear one boot to town?

Because he heard there would be a 50% chance of snow!
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How many singers from Nashville does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change it, one to sing about how heartbroken he is at the loss of the old one, one to sing about how madly in love he is with the new one, and one to go "Yee-Hah!" and throw his cowboy hat in the air.
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What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?

Its shadow
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Why did the boy have his girlfriend put in jail?

She stole his heart.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a herd of buffalo?

The lawyer charges more.
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Why did the banana go to the hospital?

Because he wasn't peeling well!
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?

There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
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