Where does Friday come before Monday?

In the dictionary.
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

He got caught peeping on a test.
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What goes around a haunted house and never stops?

A fence.
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How do we know the Indians were the first people in North America?

They had reservations.
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Why did the people not like the restaurant on the moon?

Because there was no atmosphere.
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A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."

The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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What did one titration say to the other?

"Let's meet at the endpoint."
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How many Holocaust revisionists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None: they just deny that the bulb ever went out in the first place.
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A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off.

"because," he said "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
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