Where does Friday come before Monday?

In the dictionary.
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How many sound engineers does it take to change a light bulb

None, sound engineers don't do lights
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Why are there fences around a graveyard?

Because people are dying to get in!
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How many bikers does it take to change a light bulb?

It takes two. One to change the bulb, and the other to kick the switch.
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How much does a hipster weigh?

An instagram.
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What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.
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Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball?

Because he had no BODY to go with.
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How many pre-med students does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: One to change the bulb and four to pull the ladder out from under him/her.
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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What do aliens on the metric system say?

Take me to your liter.
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