Where does Friday come before Monday?

In the dictionary.
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Why did the surfer think the sea was his friend?

Because it gave him a big wave!
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?

Fo Drizzle!

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What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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My first girlfriend was a tennis player but she broke my heart.

It was like love meant nothing to her.
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish
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