Where does Friday come before Monday?

In the dictionary.
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Why did the football coach go to the bank?

To get his quarterback.
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What is black ,white and red all over?

A sunburnt penguin
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Why don't aliens celebrate Chistmas?

Because they don't want to give away their presence.
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How many fire safety guys dose it take to screw in a light bulb?

One -- but it's an 8 hour minimum.
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What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?

CSI
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Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.
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How many efficiency experts does it take to replace a light bulb?

None. Efficiency experts replace only dark bulbs.
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What happened when 500 hares got loose on Main Street?

The police had to comb the area.
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I just watched a debate as to which cartoons were better- Disney or Warner Bros.

I have to say it got very animated.
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