Where does Friday come before Monday?

In the dictionary.
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What happens when you play Beethoven backwards?

He decomposes.

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What do you call a girl with a frog on her head?

Lilly.
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Why did the poultry farmer become a school teacher?

So he could grade his eggs.
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Why is tennis such a loud game?

Because each player raises a racquet.
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Where does an elephant pack his luggage?

In his trunk
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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What did the mother broom say to the baby broom?

It's time to go to sweep.
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What has a head but no body?

A nail.
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Whats the difference between Terrorists and Accordion players?

Terrorists have sympathizers

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