Where does Friday come before Monday?

In the dictionary.
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How can you tell when a lawyer is lying?

Their lips are moving.
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What is a ghost's favorite fruit?

Booberries!
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Why is the French horn the most divine instrument?

Man blows into it, but God only knows what comes out

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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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Why did the spy stay in bed?

Because he was under cover.
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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Where do orcas hear music?

Orca-stras
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Why are babies good at soccer?

Because they dribble!
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What does Donald Trump say when he can't find his Viagra?

"The erection is rigged!"
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