Where does Friday come before Monday?

In the dictionary.
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Which search engine is popular amongst mice?

Ask Cheese.
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Why did the chicken cross the clothing store?

To get to the other size!
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How many graduate students does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it may take upwards of five years for him to get it done.
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What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?

Wet feet.
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Why is a skeleton so mean?

He doesn't have a heart.
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What kind of dessert does a ghost like?

I scream!
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What cell phones do travelling nuns use?

Virgin mobile.
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What kind of mouse does not eat, drink, or even walk?

A computer mouse.
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Why shouldn't Donald Trump rag on illegal immigrants?

Because an undocumented worker has been living on his head for the past 2 decades!
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