Where does Friday come before Monday?

In the dictionary.
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What's the definition of a minor second?

Two flutes playing in unison.

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How many editors of Poor Richard's Almanac does it take to replace a light bulb?

"Many hands make light work."

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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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What does a lawyer get when you give him Viagra?

Taller
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How many subscribers to AOL does it take to change a light bulb?

What? You can change light bulbs?

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball?

Because he had no BODY to go with.
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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends

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I rang up British Telecom, I said, "I want to report a nuisance caller",

he said "Not you again".

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What do you call a cat sitting on the beach on Christmas Eve?

Sandy Claws.
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