Where does Friday come before Monday?

In the dictionary.
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How do locomotives hear?

Through the engineers.
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How many thought police does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There never was any light bulb.

Notes: Probably the only really good light bulb joke of 1984.
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How many "pro-lifers" does it take to change a light bulb?

Six: two to screw in the bulb and four to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
None; the bulb will change itself when it is ready.
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What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?

2 Na
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline?

You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline.
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What do you call a bruise on a T-Rex?

A dino-sore
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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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