Where does Friday come before Monday?

In the dictionary.
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What do you call a crate of ducks?

A box of quackers.
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What is a shark's favorite sandwich?

Peanut butter and jellyfish.
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How many Christian Scientists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None, but it takes at least one to sit and pray for the old one to go back on.
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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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What happened when the butcher backed up into his meat grinder?

he got a little behind in his work.
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What has three letters and starts with gas?

A car
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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How do you catch a tame bird?

The tame way, unique up on it!
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There were two cows in a paddock. One of the cows says, "moo"

and the other one says, "That's what I was going to say."
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