Where does Friday come before Monday?

In the dictionary.
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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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What is the snake's favorite subject?

Hiss-story
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What did the judge say to the dentist?

Do you swear to pull the tooth, the whole tooth and nothing but the tooth?
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How many mathematicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. He gives it to six Californians, thereby reducing the problem to an earlier joke...

In earlier work, Wiener [1] has shown that one mathematician can change a light bulb.

If k mathematicians can change a light bulb, and if one more simply watches them do it, then k+1 mathematicians will have changed the light bulb.

Therefore, by induction, for all n in the positive integers, n mathematicians can change a light bulb.

Bibliography:

[1] Wiener, Matthew P., <11485@ucbvax>, Re: YALBJ, 1986
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What do you call a smiling, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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What do you call a parrot that flew away?

A polygon
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What kind of music do planets sing?

Neptunes!
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Do you know how many musicians it takes to change a light bulb?

No, but hum a few bars and I'll fake it.
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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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