Where does Friday come before Monday?

In the dictionary.
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What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?

A spelling bee!
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Why did they kick cinderella off the baseball team?

She kept running away from the ball.
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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What is Donald Trumps favorite song?

ICE ICE Baby......
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What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?

CSI
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A lorry-load of tortoises crashed into a trainload of terrapins,

What a turtle disaster

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What do you call a clown who's in jail?

A silicon.
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Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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How does the ocean say hello?

It waves.
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