Where does Friday come before Monday?

In the dictionary.
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A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar.

The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"
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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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What kind of cat should you never play games with?

A cheetah
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Why don't they know where Mozart is buried?

Because he's Haydn.

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What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?

A try and try and try-ceratops
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What is Donald Trumps biggest dilemma now that he's president?

Finding a cabinet position for the thing on his head!
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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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Why did the boy take a ladder to school?

He wanted to go to high school!
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