Where does Friday come before Monday?

In the dictionary.
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How many pre-med students does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: One to change the bulb and four to pull the ladder out from under him/her.
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How many Executive Producers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Executive Producers don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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What's the slipperiest country?

Greece!
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What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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What are lawyers good for?

They make used car salesmen look good.
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Why won't sharks attack lawyers?

Professional courtesy.
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What did the momma buffalo say to her son before he went to school?

Bison
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I went to the Doctors the other day, and he said, 'Go to Bournemouth, it's great for flu'.

So I went - and I got it.
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