Where does Friday come before Monday?

In the dictionary.
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Why are pirates great singers?

They can hit the high C's!

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Why is b always cool?

Because it's between ac.
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What do you call the best butter on the farm?

A goat.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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What do bees do with their honey?

They cell it.
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What do you call a mad elephant?

An earthquake.
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Why did the turtle cross the road?

To get to the shell station.
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How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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