Where does Friday come before Monday?

In the dictionary.
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How many graduate students does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it may take upwards of five years for him to get it done.
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Two aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married.

The ceremony was rubbish - but the reception was brilliant.

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What do you call a thieving alligator?

A crookodile
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What do you call a king who is only 12 inches tall?

A ruler.
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There were two cows in a paddock. One of the cows says, "moo"

and the other one says, "That's what I was going to say."
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How many technical writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, provided there is a programmer around to explain how to do it.
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What is up in the air and wobbles?

A jellycopter
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I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite

He said NaBrO
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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