Where does Friday come before Monday?

In the dictionary.
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What do you call a Disney Princess that supports Donald Trump?

Snow White Supremacist.
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What do moms dress up as on Halloween?

Mummies!
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Why did the cow go in the spaceship?

It wanted to see the mooooooon!
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What has holes all over and holds water?

A sponge!
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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Whats the difference between Terrorists and Accordion players?

Terrorists have sympathizers

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What's a puppy's favorite kind of pizza?

Pupperoni.
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What did Michael Jackson say to Woody Allen?

Got two fives for a ten?
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How do you stop a dog barking in the back seat of a car?

Put him in the front seat.
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