Where does Friday come before Monday?

In the dictionary.
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What's brown and looks really good on a lawyer?

A Doberman.
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How many bass clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?

All of them
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The new band called 1023MB.

They haven't had any gigs yet
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What bone will a dog never eat?

A trombone.
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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.
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What robs you while you're in the bathtub?

A robber ducky.
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Went to the corner shop -

bought 4 corners.

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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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What did the painter say to the wall?

I got you covered.
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