Where does Friday come before Monday?

In the dictionary.
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What do you throw to a drowning lawyer?

His partners.
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What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?

Its shadow
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Why did the elephant leave the circus?

He was tired of working for peanuts.
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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What is the snake's favorite subject?

Hiss-story
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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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What did the calculator say to the math student?

You can count on me!
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Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?

He got Avogadro's number!
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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