Where does Friday come before Monday?

In the dictionary.
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How do hair stylists speed up their job?

They take short cuts!
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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Why doesn't Melania Trump want to be the first lady?

Because she would have to move into a smaller house.
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What do you call a bruise on a T-Rex?

A dino-sore
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What did Jay-z call his wife before they got married?

Feyonce

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What do you get when you cross a witch with sand?

A sandwich!
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What kind of motorcycle does Santa ride?

Holly Davidson.
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How many Bratzlaver Chassidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find one that burned as brightly as the first one.
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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