Where does Friday come before Monday?

In the dictionary.
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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There were five people under one umbrella. Why didn't they get wet?

It wasn't raining!
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How many IBM PC owners does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but she/he'll have to go out and buy the light bulb adaptor card first, which is extra.
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What do you call a loony spaceman?

An astronut.
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What washes up on small beaches?

Microwaves.
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Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?

It was two tired.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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How many IBM engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just let Marketing explain that "Dead Bulb" is a feature.
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What did the man on the beach say to Michael Jackson?

Get out of my sun!
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