Where does Friday come before Monday?

In the dictionary.
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What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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The new band called 1023MB.

They haven't had any gigs yet
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The oddly pleasant feeling of looking down on a physist as they drink the last of their beer.

The strange charm of a top down bottoms up.
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What music does cheese listen to?

R & Brie.
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What's the difference between a musician and a 14-inch pizza?

A 14-inch pizza can feed a family of four

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Why do ghosts make good cheerleaders?

Because they have a lot of spirit.
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I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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