Where does Friday come before Monday?

In the dictionary.
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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What did rural America tell Donald Trump?

You're Hired.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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What do you get when you plant a frog?

A cr-oak tree.
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What kind of balls do dragons play soccer with?

Fireballs.
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How many alumnae of (sorority name) does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change it and one to act as chaperone.
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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What happened when the lion ate the comedian?

He felt funny.
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Middle C, E-Flat and G walk into a bar.

Sorry, says the barman, we don't serve minors.
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