Where does Friday come before Monday?

In the dictionary.
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What does one bucket say to the other?

I am feeling pale today.
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What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?

A brick layer!
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What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?

OH SNaP!
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Where do fortune tellers dance?

At the crystal ball.
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What did one magnet say to the other?

I find you very attractive.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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How many ``pro-lifers'' does it take to change a light bulb?

6: 2 to screw in the bulb and 4 to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
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How many 2nd AD's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Uh...standby, I'll check on that.
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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