Where does Friday come before Monday?

In the dictionary.
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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What do Russians use for napkins?

Soviets
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How many Microsoft executives does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Bill Gates will just redefine Darkness� as the industry standard.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He made an illegal ewe turn.
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How do you know when its Michael Jacksons bed time ?

When the big hand touches the little hand
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If you drop a white hat into the Red Sea, what does it become?

Wet.
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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Now that Macy's has severed ties, with Donald Trump, how can the average American look like the President?

By hunting and killing their own hair piece.
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