Where does Friday come before Monday?

In the dictionary.
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What can you hold without ever touching it?

A conversation.
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How many Zen masters does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A tree in a golden forest.
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish
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What has a lot of keys but can not open any doors?

A piano.
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How many IBM engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just let Marketing explain that "Dead Bulb" is a feature.
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I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase.

I can hardly contain myself.

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The new band called 1023MB.

They haven't had any gigs yet
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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