Where does Friday come before Monday?

In the dictionary.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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What kind of mouse does not eat, drink, or even walk?

A computer mouse.
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How are elephants and trees alike?

They both have trunks
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What do you do if your cat swallows your pencil?

Use a pen.
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Which is the most religious cheese?

Emmental...it's very hol(e)y...
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What do you get if you cross a cat with a dark horse?

Kitty Perry

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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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When is a car not a car?

When it turns into a garage.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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