Where does Friday come before Monday?

In the dictionary.
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What happens when frogs park illegally?

They get toad.
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What's an alligator's favorite drink?

Gator-Ade.
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What do you get if you cross an insect with the Easter rabbit?

Bugs Bunny.
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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What kind of dessert does a ghost like?

I scream!
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How does Donald Trump plan on deporting 12 million illegal immigrants?

Juan by Juan.
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What kind of driver has no arms or legs?

A screwdriver.
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I backed a horse last week at ten to one.

It came in at quarter past four.

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Now that Macy's has severed ties, with Donald Trump, how can the average American look like the President?

By hunting and killing their own hair piece.
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