Where does Friday come before Monday?

In the dictionary.
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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck
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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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What do you call a sleeping bull?

A bulldozer
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So I met this gangster who pulls up the back of people's pants,

it was Wedgie Kray.

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Went to the paper shop -

it had blown away.
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You see my next-door neighbour worships exhaust pipes,

he's a catholic converter.


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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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How do you make a band stand?

Take their chairs away!
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"I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it,

it was a shitzu."
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