Where does Friday come before Monday?

In the dictionary.
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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What kind of ties can't you wear?

Railroad ties.
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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What is the strongest animal?

A snail because it carries it's home.
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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What has 6 eyes but can't see?

3 blind mice.
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What kind of table has no legs.

A multiplication table.
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How many sound engineers does it take to change a light bulb

None, sound engineers don't do lights
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What do you call snake with no clothes on?

Snaked.
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