Where does Friday come before Monday?

In the dictionary.
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How do you get a trumpet to sound like a french horn?

Put your hand in the bell and play a lot of wrong notes.

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What kind of cat should you never play games with?

A cheetah
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When Susan's boyfriend proposed marriage to her she said: "I love the simple things in life,

but I don't want one of them for my husband".

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What's worse than a worm in your apple?

Half a worm.
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What do you call a crate of ducks?

A box of quackers.
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Why is a skeleton so mean?

He doesn't have a heart.
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How do you make Halloween great again?

By carving a Trumpkin.
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Where did the music teacher leave her keys?

In the piano!

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If the red house is on the left,the blue house is on the right,where is the White House?

In Washington, D.C.
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