Where does the snowman hide his money?

In the snow bank.
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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Don't trust atoms,

they make up everything.
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Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?

He was board.
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What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?

A spelling bee!
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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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What did the snail say when he got on the turtle's shell?

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
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What' the difference between a lawyer and a boxing referee?

A boxing referee doesn't get paid more for a longer fight.
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What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo?

Big holes all over Australia!
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