Where does the snowman hide his money?

In the snow bank.
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What element is derived from a Norse god?

Thorium.
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Why did the baseball player bring a rope to the game?

Because he wanted to tie the score!
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What kind of flower has lips?

Two-lips!
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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What do Santa's elves drive?

Minivans.
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Did you know that oxygen went for a second date with potassium?
How did it go?

It went OK2!
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Why won't sharks attack lawyers?

Professional courtesy.
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What do you call a baby bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear
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