Where does the snowman hide his money?

In the snow bank.
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What do Santa's elves drive?

Minivans.
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How many editors of Poor Richard's Almanac does it take to replace a light bulb?

"Many hands make light work."
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What do you call a belt made out of watches?

A waist of time!
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What nails do carpenters hate to hit?

Fingernails.
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A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"

The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
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What bird can lift the most?

A crane.
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What is the difference between a locomotive engineer and a teacher?

One minds the train, one trains the mind.
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Two aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married.

The ceremony was rubbish - but the reception was brilliant.

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