Where does the snowman hide his money?

In the snow bank.
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Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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What do you call a snarky criminal going down the stairs?

[A Condesending con descending]
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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What kind of mouse does not eat, drink, or even walk?

A computer mouse.
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What is a snowman's favorite breakfast?

Frosted Flakes!
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What did the sardine call the submarine?

A can of people.
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What did the peanut say to the walnut?

Nothing. Nuts can't talk.
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