Where is a rabbit's favorite place to eat?

Ihop
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What did the guitarist do when his teacher told him to turn his amplifier on?

He caressed it softly and told it that he loved it

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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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Why was the math book sad?

It had too many problems.
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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck
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What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?

OH SNaP!
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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