Where is a rabbit's favorite place to eat?

Ihop
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I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day.

Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.

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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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Why was the cat afraid of a tree?

Because of the bark
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Two aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married.

The ceremony was rubbish - but the reception was brilliant.

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What happens when you play Beethoven backwards?

He decomposes.

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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

He got caught peeping on a test.
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How many sheep do you need to make a sweater?

I don't know. I didn't think sheep could knit
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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