Where is a rabbit's favorite place to eat?

Ihop
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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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What did the belly button say just before it left?

I'm outtie here!

Tom: I bet I can make you say purple.
Joe: How?
Tom: What colors are in the American flag?
Joe: Red, white and blue.
Tom: I told you I can make you say red.
Joe: You said purple!
Tom: I told you I could make you say purple!
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What does an octopus wear when it gets cold?

A coat of arms.
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Why did the student eat her homework?

Because the teacher said it was a piece of cake!
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How many art directors does it take to screw in a light bulb

Does it have to be a light bulb? I've got this neat candle holder...
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Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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What do whales eat?

Fish and ships.
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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