Where is a rabbit's favorite place to eat?

Ihop
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What did the rug say to the floor?

Don't move, I've got you covered.
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Why shouldn't Donald Trump rag on illegal immigrants?

Because an undocumented worker has been living on his head for the past 2 decades!
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What do Russians use for napkins?

Soviets
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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.
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Do you know how to save a drowning lawyer?

Take your foot off his head.
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How many college girls does it take to change a light bulb?

That's "women," you unfunny jerk!
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What do you call a thieving alligator?

A crookodile
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What is the definition of a "crying shame"?

There was an empty seat.
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What nails do carpenters hate to hit?

Fingernails.
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