Where is a rabbit's favorite place to eat?

Ihop
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What do ghosts eat for supper?

Spooketi
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How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away his credit card
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How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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What is the definition of a "crying shame"?

There was an empty seat.
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Three people were in a boat. They all fell off. Only two people ended up with wet hair. Why didn't the other person's hair get wet?

Because he was bald!
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What did one hair say to the other?

It takes two to tangle!
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How many cops does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. It turned itself in.
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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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How many believable, competent, ``just-right-for-the-job'' presidential candidates does it take to change a light bulb?

It's going to be a dark 4 years, isn't it?
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