Where is a rabbit's favorite place to eat?

Ihop
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What kind of cat should you never play games with?

A cheetah
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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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Clowns divorce:

custardy battle.
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How do Eskimos make their beds?

With sheets of ice and blankets of snow.
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How does Donald Trump intend to spice up the Republican Convention?

By relocating it to a casino!
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What do you get if you cross an insect with the Easter rabbit?

Bugs Bunny.
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I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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What do you call a snowman in the desert?

A puddle!
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What is a ghost's favorite pie?

Booberry pie!
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