Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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What did the ceiling say to the chandelier?

You're the only bright spot in my life.
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Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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What do birds say on Halloween?

Twick o tweet
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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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How many 2nd AD's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Uh...standby, I'll check on that.
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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