Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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How many cops does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. It turned itself in.
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What starts with E, ends with E and only has one letter?

An envelope.
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What did one elevator say to the other?

I think I'm coming down with something!
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Why did Lil Wayne go to the Doctor?

He was feeling a Lil Weezy

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What did the drummer get on his I.Q. Test?

Saliva
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How do Vikings send secret messages?

Norse code.
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What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".
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