Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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What did rural America tell Donald Trump?

You're Hired.
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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What do whales eat?

Fish and ships.
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What do you call a young army?

Infantry.
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What do you call a slow skier?

A slopepoke!
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How many polite New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Both of them.
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