Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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Why is Donald Trump always seen with Melania?

Because all his other wives support Hillary.
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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How many Sound Recordists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

WHAT?
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How do you make an egg laugh?

Tell it a yolk.
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