Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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What does a witch use to keep her hair up?

Scarespray!
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When Susan's boyfriend proposed marriage to her she said: "I love the simple things in life,

but I don't want one of them for my husband".

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When is a door not a door?

When it's ajar!
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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How do we know the Indians were the first people in North America?

They had reservations.
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Why are the floors of basketball courts always so damp?

The players dribble a lot.
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