Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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What did Tennessee?
The same thing Arkansas.
What did Delaware?

Her New Jersey.
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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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What is a frog's favorite year?

Leap Year
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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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What's a light-year?

The same as a regular year, but with less calories.
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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