Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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What do you call the best butter on the farm?

A goat.
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I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.

It's a total rip-off.
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What's the difference between a musician and a 14-inch pizza?

A 14-inch pizza can feed a family of four

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Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?

He got Avogadro's number!
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Knock, knock!
Who's there?
Snow.
Snow who?

Snowbody!
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What is the difference between a guitarist and a Savings Bond?

Eventually a Savings Bond will mature and earn money!

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How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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