Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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What does Melania see in Donald Trump?

"Ten billion dollars and high cholesterol!"
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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"I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it,

it was a shitzu."
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How many U.S marines does it take to screw in a light bulb?

50. One to screw in the light bulb and the remaining 49 to guard him .
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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