Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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What do you call a cat sitting on the beach on Christmas Eve?

Sandy Claws.
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How many UFO buffs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. You don't believe me do you? I've got photos! See that big blob? Well, just squint your eyes a bit. . . .
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What kind of motorcycle does Santa ride?

Holly Davidson.
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What did the octopus say to his girlfriend when he proposed?

Can I have your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage?
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What do you call 25 attorneys buried up to their chins in cement?

Not enough cement.
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What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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Why do they bury lawyers under 20 feet of dirt?

Because deep down, they're really good people.
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