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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?
On the bottom.
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What did the calculator say to the math student?
You can count on me!
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a gigolo?
A gigolo only screws one person at a time.
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What's the difference between a jellyfish and a lawyer?
One's a spineless, poisonous blob. The other is a form of sea life.
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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?
With flood lighting.
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What do you call a beautiful woman on a trombonist's arm?
A tattoo.
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I was in Tesco's and I saw this man and woman wrapped in a barcode.
I said, "Are you two an item?"
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What music does cheese listen to?
R & Brie.
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