Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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A mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno, dos..." and then

*poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
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Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team?

She ran away from the ball.
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What has four legs and goes "Oom, Oom"?

A cow walking backwards
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What would happen if pigs could fly?

The price of bacon would go up.
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The other day I sent my girlfriend a huge pile of snow.

I rang her up, I said "Did you get my drift?".
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Why are elephants wrinkled?

Because they don't fit on a ironing board
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What did the judge say to the dentist?

Do you swear to pull the tooth, the whole tooth and nothing but the tooth?
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