Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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There was an explosion at a cheese factory in France...

all that was left was de brie.
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What is Donald Trumps biggest dilemma now that he's president?

Finding a cabinet position for the thing on his head!
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How do you know Donald Trump is talking to you?

Cause your the only one Hair.
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Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"

The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
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What's the difference between a tuba and a vacumn cleaner?

You have to turn one of them on before it sucks.

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What do you call a cow with no legs?

Ground beef.
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