Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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And how come her cell phone bill was so high?

She was a Roman (roamin) Catholic
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What goes 99 thump,99 thump,99 thump?

A centipede with a wooden leg.
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How many Real Men does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Real Men aren't afraid of the dark.
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Where do fortune tellers dance?

At the crystal ball.
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And the mermaid, that was weird. What was she wearing in math class?

An Algae-bra
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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What do you call a smiling, sober, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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