Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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How many Psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but the bulb has got to really WANT to change.
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Why do some people have an instant aversion to banjo players?

It saves time in the long run.

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Why are there fences around a graveyard?

Because people are dying to get in!
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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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What do you throw to a drowning lawyer?

His partners.
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?

When you're a mouse.
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