Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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What's an alligator's favorite drink?

Gator-Ade.
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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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What kind of cat should you never play games with?

A cheetah
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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