Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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What's the tallest building in the world?

The library, because it has the most stories.
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What does a witch use to keep her hair up?

Scarespray!
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What do you call a pig that's been arrested for dangerous driving?

A road hog.
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How many subscribers to AOL does it take to change a light bulb?

What? You can change light bulbs?
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Which reindeer likes to clean?

Comet
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Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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