Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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What do aliens on the metric system say?

Take me to your liter.
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How many Iraqis does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It doesn't matter, they don't have any electricity any more.
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What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to take notes while the other screws it into the faucet.
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What do Michael Jackson and x-boxs have in common?

They're both plastic and little boys turn them on.
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What happens when frogs park illegally?

They get toad.
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