Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly. But when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank,

proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it.

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What do you call a bruise on a T-Rex?

A dino-sore
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How does the ocean say hello?

It waves.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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What's the difference between a female lawyer and a pitbull?

Lipstick.
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How many stock brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes (knowing that it's already burned out).
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