Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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How many gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.
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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've got you covered!
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What has four legs, a trunk, and sunglasses?

A mouse on vacation.
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What does Donald Trump say when he can't find his Viagra?

"The erection is rigged!"
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How many freelance biotechnologists does it take to change a light bulb?

One; she designs the bulb to crawl up the wall, unscrew the old one, and screw itself in.
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What kind of ties can't you wear?

Railroad ties.
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What do Donald Trump and a baby have in common?

They both whine alot!
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