Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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What's the difference between a tuba and a vacumn cleaner?

You have to turn one of them on before it sucks.

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How do we know the Indians were the first people in North America?

They had reservations.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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How many cats does it takes to screw in a light bulb?

You can throw away your light bulbs. Just douse the cat with gasoline, light it up with a match, and you'll have all the light you need. (Comment: BLEAH!)
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline?

You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline.
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