Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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What do you call a cow that plays a musical instrument?

A Moo-sician!

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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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What is the difference between a fly and superman?

Superman can fly, but a fly cannot superman!
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How Many lead guitarist does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just steal somebody else's light.

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How can you tell when a lawyer is lying?

Their lips are moving.
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Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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How many Executive Producers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Executive Producers don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.

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