Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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Why are kindergarten teachers so good?

They can make little things count.
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What do you call an exploding monkey?

A baboom
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The other day I sent my girlfriend a huge pile of snow.

I rang her up, I said "Did you get my drift?".
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What school do you have to drop out of to graduate from?

Parachute school!
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What can you hold without using your hands?

Your breath!
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What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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What is the easiest way to count a herd of cattle?

With a cowculator.
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