Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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How is Donald Trump going to shut down the Department of Education?

By renaming it Trump University.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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What do you call a cat sitting on the beach on Christmas Eve?

Sandy Claws.
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How do locomotives hear?

Through the engineers.
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What kind of flower has lips?

Two-lips!
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What did the drummer get on his I.Q. Test?

Saliva
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How many chiropractors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but it takes six visits.
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