Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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How many Bell Labs vice presidents does it take to change a light bulb?

That's proprietary information. The answer is available from AT&T on payment of license fee (binary only).

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There was an explosion at a cheese factory in France...

all that was left was de brie.
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A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"

The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"

The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
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How many Agents does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Actually, agents will screw in just about anything.

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What does Donald Trump say when he can't find his Viagra?

"The erection is rigged!"
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