Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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There were five people under one umbrella. Why didn't they get wet?

It wasn't raining!
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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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What has four legs, a trunk, and sunglasses?

A mouse on vacation.
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When is a car not a car?

When it turns into a garage.
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What do you call a cow in a tornado?

A milkshake
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Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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How many gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.
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