Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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Why was the piano player arrested?

Because he got into treble with the cops

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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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What did one hair say to the other?

It takes two to tangle!
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I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite

He said NaBrO
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What does a witch use to keep her hair up?

Scarespray!
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