Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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Why are there fences around a graveyard?

Because people are dying to get in!
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How many assholes does it take to change a light bulb?

None; assholes never see the light anyway.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon!
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How do you make a band stand?

Take their chairs away!
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Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?

coz Donald ducked
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How do you make Halloween great again?

By carving a Trumpkin.
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