Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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What's the best parting gift?

A comb.
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How many singers from Nashville does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change it, one to sing about how heartbroken he is at the loss of the old one, one to sing about how madly in love he is with the new one, and one to go "Yee-Hah!" and throw his cowboy hat in the air.
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How is Donald Trump going to shut down the Department of Education?

By renaming it Trump University.
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What did Tennessee?
The same thing Arkansas.
What did Delaware?

Her New Jersey.
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How many graduate students does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it may take upwards of five years for him to get it done.
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