Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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Why was the vacationing doctor so mad?

He had no patients.
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What's green and loud?

A froghorn.
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I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah;

I thought, "He's trying to pull a fast one".

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Where do orcas hear music?

Orca-stras
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Why don't aliens celebrate Chistmas?

Because they don't want to give away their presence.
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How many Californians does it take to change a light bulb?

Six. One to turn the bulb, one for support, and four to relate to the experience.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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