Where would an astronaut park his space ship?

A parking meteor!
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How many fire safety guys dose it take to screw in a light bulb?

One -- but it's an 8 hour minimum.
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A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off.

"because," he said "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
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What's black and white and red all over?

A blushing zebra.
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Why did the rooster cross the road?

To prove he wasn't a chicken!
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Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.
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What do you call a gorilla wearing earmuffs?

Anything you like, he can't hear you.
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What does the toast wear to bed?

Jammies!
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How many Microsoft executives does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Bill Gates will just redefine Darkness® as the industry standard.
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What is Donald Trumps campaign slogan?

"A complex world demands complex hair."
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