Where would an astronaut park his space ship?

A parking meteor!
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Why did the chicken cross the road, roll in mud, then cross the road again?

He was a dirty double crosser!
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What is worse then having one baby screaming?

Two babies screaming!
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How do you make an egg laugh?

Tell it a yolk.
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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What did the ghost say to the other ghost?

Do you believe in humans?
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What do moms dress up as on Halloween?

Mummies!
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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How many investment brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes.
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A mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno, dos..." and then

*poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
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