Where would an astronaut park his space ship?

A parking meteor!
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How many Yuppies (WASPs) does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call the electrician, and one to mix the drinks.
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What is Donald Trumps biggest dilemma now that he's president?

Finding a cabinet position for the thing on his head!
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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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What do you call a baby bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear
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What do sea monsters eat for lunch?

Fish and ships.
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What did the laywer name his daughter?

Sue.
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What has a bed that you can't sleep in?

A river.
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