Where would an astronaut park his space ship?

A parking meteor!
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How many economists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to assume the ladder and one to change the bulb.

A': None. If the government would just leave it alone, it would screw itself in.
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How many referral agents does it take to change a light bulb?

Two: One to screw you out of a fee, and the other to send you to a store where they ran out of bulbs weeks ago.
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What is black ,white and red all over?

A sunburnt penguin
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a gigolo?

A gigolo only screws one person at a time.
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How Many lead guitarist does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just steal somebody else's light.
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Why did the tomato blush?

Because he saw the salad dressing!
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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