Where would an astronaut park his space ship?

A parking meteor!
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What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from?

Separation anxiety.
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There are 10 kinds of people in the world.

Those who read binary and those who don't.
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Why doesn't Donald Trump sweat like Marco Rubio?

Because he has such yuuuuge fans!
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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?

A brick layer!
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How many bass clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?

All of them
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What's a puppy's favorite kind of pizza?

Pupperoni.
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What's 182 feet tall and made out of pepperoni and cheese?

The leaning tower of Pizza.
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