Where would an astronaut park his space ship?

A parking meteor!
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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Why can't a bicycle stand up?

Because it's two tired!
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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Why did the cucumber call 911?

It was in a pickle!
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What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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How many Real Men does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Real Men aren't afraid of the dark.
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When are kids most likely to go to school?

When the door is open.
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How many fire safety guys dose it take to screw in a light bulb?

One -- but it's an 8 hour minimum.
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