Where would an astronaut park his space ship?

A parking meteor!
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What's black and white and red all over?

A blushing zebra.
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What do an accordion and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is relieved when the case is closed.

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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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How does a pig go to hospital?

In a hambulance.
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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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And the mermaid, that was weird. What was she wearing in math class?

An Algae-bra
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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What is the most important rule in chemistry?

Never lick the spoon!
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What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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