Where would an astronaut park his space ship?

A parking meteor!
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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Why don't they know where Mozart is buried?

Because he's Haydn.

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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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Why does the law society prohibit sex between lawyers and their clients?

To prevent clients from being billed twice for essentially the same service.
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Trump: "Foreign Policy?,

if you mess with the United States, there will be hell toupee."

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What is a ghost's favorite pie?

Booberry pie!
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A mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno, dos..." and then

*poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
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Customer: "Do you have alligator shoes?"

Clerk: "Yes, sir. What size does your alligator wear?"
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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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