Where would an astronaut park his space ship?

A parking meteor!
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What kind of potato chips fly?

Plane ones.
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What did the policeman say when his tummy was rumbling?

Stop! You're under a vest.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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How many gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.
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What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?

A try and try and try-ceratops
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How many record producers does it take to change a lightbulb?

Two… one to tell the engineer to do it, the other to say "I don't know, what do you think?"

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Trump: "Foreign Policy?,

if you mess with the United States, there will be hell toupee."

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How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."
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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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