Where would an astronaut park his space ship?

A parking meteor!
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Where did the sheep go on vacation?

The baaaahamas
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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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Why did Mozart kill his chickens?

Because they always ran around going "Bach! Bach! Bach!"

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How many light bulbs does it take to change a light bulb?

One, if it knows its own Goedel number.
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What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?

There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
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What's green and flies as fast as a speeding bullet?

Super Pickle!
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What do you do if your cat swallows your pencil?

Use a pen.
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What' the difference between a lawyer and a boxing referee?

A boxing referee doesn't get paid more for a longer fight.
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