Where would an astronaut park his space ship?

A parking meteor!
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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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How many fundamentalists does it take to change a light bulb?

None; the Bible doesn't mention any light bulbs.
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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What is the difference between a fly and superman?

Superman can fly, but a fly cannot superman!
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How many investment brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes.
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What do you call a guy who's born in Columbus, grows up in Cleveland, and then dies in Cincinnati?

Dead.
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Went to the paper shop -

it had blown away.
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What did the man on the beach say to Michael Jackson?

Get out of my sun!
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