Where would an astronaut park his space ship?

A parking meteor!
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How many gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.
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How many IBM engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just let Marketing explain that "Dead Bulb" is a feature.
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How many 2nd AD's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Uh...standby, I'll check on that.
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What do have when a lawyer is buried up to his neck in sand?

Not enough sand.
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What's the difference between a tuba and a vacumn cleaner?

You have to turn one of them on before it sucks.

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What kind of balls do dragons play soccer with?

Fireballs.
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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How many Agents does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Actually, agents will screw in just about anything.
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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