Where would an astronaut park his space ship?

A parking meteor!
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What do you call a pig who knows karate?

Porkchop
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
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How many law professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Hell, you need 250 just to lobby for the research grant.
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How many socialists does it take to change a light bulb?

One to petition the Ministry of Light for a bulb, 50 to establish the state production quota, 200 militia to force the factory unions to allow production of the bulb, and one to surreptitiously dial an "800" number to order an American light bulb.
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How do you cut a wave in half?

Use a sea saw.
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Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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What does the toast wear to bed?

Jammies!
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Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?

He was board.
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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