Where would an astronaut park his space ship?

A parking meteor!
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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Why is b always cool?

Because it's between ac.
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away his credit card
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How many (Generals/Politicians) does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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What do you call a bruise on a T-Rex?

A dino-sore
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How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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