Where would an astronaut park his space ship?

A parking meteor!
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What is Donald Trumps campaign slogan?

"A complex world demands complex hair."
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Slept like a log last night........

Woke up in the fireplace.

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What can you hold without ever touching it?

A conversation.
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Why is slippery ice like music?

If you don't C sharp - you'll B flat!

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How many ergonomicists does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. Four to decide which way the bulb ought to turn, and . . .
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What does GOP stand for?

Grabs Our Pussy.
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What do you give a sick bird?

Tweetment.
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What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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