Where would an astronaut park his space ship?

A parking meteor!

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What is Donald Trumps campaign slogan?

"A complex world demands complex hair."
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What do you call a bankrupt Santa?

Saint Nickel-less.
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I think I want a job cleaning mirrors.


It's something I could really see myself doing.
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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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How many magicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends on what you want to change it into.

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Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?

It was two tired.
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Were does a boat go when it is sick?

To the dock.
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How many U.S marines does it take to screw in a light bulb?

50. One to screw in the light bulb and the remaining 49 to guard him .

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What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.

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