Where would an astronaut park his space ship?

A parking meteor!
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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.
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Where are sharks from?

Finland.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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What goes 99 thump,99 thump,99 thump?

A centipede with a wooden leg.
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How many Real Men does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Real Men aren't afraid of the dark.
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Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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When are kids most likely to go to school?

When the door is open.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vulture?

The lawyer gets frequent flyer miles.
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How many radical feminists does it take to change a light bulb?

That isn't funny!
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