Where would an astronaut park his space ship?

A parking meteor!
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What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo?

Big holes all over Australia!
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How many UFO buffs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. You don't believe me do you? I've got photos! See that big blob? Well, just squint your eyes a bit. . . .
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What's round and bad-tempered?

A vicious circle.
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What does Melania see in Donald Trump?

"Ten billion dollars and high cholesterol!"
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What is a frog's favorite year?

Leap Year
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How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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What is a tree's favorite drink?

Root beer.
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How many subscribers to AOL does it take to change a light bulb?

What? You can change light bulbs?
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Why does Trump love the poorly educated?

Because they only know their ABCs "Anybody But Clinton".
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