Where would an astronaut park his space ship?

A parking meteor!
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Do you know how many musicians it takes to change a light bulb?

No, but hum a few bars and I'll fake it.
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Why do they bury lawyers under 20 feet of dirt?

Because deep down, they're really good people.
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Why do ducks fly south?

Because it's too far to walk!
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Where do orcas hear music?

Orca-stras
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How many Bratzlaver Chassidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find one that burned as brightly as the first one.
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Why can't you say a joke while standing on ice?

Because it might crack up!
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Why did the people not like the restaurant on the moon?

Because there was no atmosphere.
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How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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