Where would an astronaut park his space ship?

A parking meteor!
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?

A chili dog on a bun.
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What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."

The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."
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What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer?

An offer you can't understand
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What's a puppy's favorite kind of pizza?

Pupperoni.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vulture?

The lawyer gets frequent flyer miles.
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What did one titration say to the other?

"Let's meet at the endpoint."
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