Where would an astronaut park his space ship?

A parking meteor!
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What kind of flower has lips?

Two-lips!
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Why did the boy take a ruler to bed?

To see how long he slept.
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What's round and bad-tempered?

A vicious circle.
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What pine has the longest needles?

A porcupine.
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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?

Fo Drizzle!

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What do you call lending money to a bison?

A buff-a-loan
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Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly. But when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank,

proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it.

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