Where would an astronaut park his space ship?

A parking meteor!
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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What country makes you shiver?

Chile.
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Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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Why did the farmer wear one boot to town?

Because he heard there would be a 50% chance of snow!
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Who can hold up a bus with one hand?

A crossing guard.
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What's a tree's favorite drink?

Rootbeer.
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Clowns divorce:

custardy battle.
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I rang up British Telecom, I said, "I want to report a nuisance caller",

he said "Not you again".

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