Where would an astronaut park his space ship?

A parking meteor!
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Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball?

Because he had no BODY to go with.
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Where do all the letters sleep?

In the alphabed.
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What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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What's a puppy's favorite kind of pizza?

Pupperoni.
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How many members of the United Church of Canada does it take to change a light bulb?

How dare you be so intolerant! So what if the light bulb has chosen an alternative light-style?
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Why do hummingbirds hum?

Because they don't know the words.
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What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?

HeHe
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