Where would an astronaut park his space ship?

A parking meteor!
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What kind of fly has a frog in its throat?

A hoarse fly!
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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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Why can't a bicycle stand up?

Because it's two tired!
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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What do Donald Trump and a baby have in common?

They both whine alot!
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Where does a polarbear keep its money?

In a snow bank!
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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A seal walks into a club...
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