Where would an astronaut park his space ship?

A parking meteor!
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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What does Donald Trump say when he can't find his Viagra?

"The erection is rigged!"
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Why did the boy take a ladder to school?

He wanted to go to high school!
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What is a cat's favorite movie?

The sound of Mew-sic
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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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What lies on its back, one hundred feet in the air?

A dead centipede.
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There are 10 kinds of people in the world.

Those who read binary and those who don't.
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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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Why did the tree go to the dentist?

It needed a root canal.
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