Where would an astronaut park his space ship?

A parking meteor!
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I said to this train driver "I want to go to Paris". He said "Eurostar?"

I said, "I've been on telly but I'm no Dean Martin".
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What do you call a movie about Donald Trump, Bernie Madoff, and Kenneth Lay?

The League of Extraordinary Con Men.
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What do you do when your chair breaks?

Call a chairman.
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How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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What do you get if you cross an insect with the Easter rabbit?

Bugs Bunny.
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There was an explosion at a cheese factory in France...

all that was left was de brie.
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What time is it when an elephant sits on your bed?

Time to get a new bed
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How many U.S. Marines does it take to change a light bulb?

Fifty — one to screw in the bulb and 49 to guard him/her.
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How many believable, competent, ``just-right-for-the-job'' presidential candidates does it take to change a light bulb?

It's going to be a dark 4 years, isn't it?
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