Where would an astronaut park his space ship?

A parking meteor!
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.
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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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Why did the sun go to school?

To get brighter!
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A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off.

"because," he said "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
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A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"

The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".
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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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What element is derived from a Norse god?

Thorium.
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