Where would an astronaut park his space ship?

A parking meteor!
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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What does Santa like to do in the garden?

Hoe, hoe, hoe!
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Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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How many subscribers to AOL does it take to change a light bulb?

What? You can change light bulbs?
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What is up in the air and wobbles?

A jellycopter
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How did the butcher introduce his wife?

Meet Patty.
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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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What do you call a mad elephant?

An earthquake.
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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