Where would an astronaut park his space ship?

A parking meteor!
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I went down the local supermarket, I said, "I want to make a complaint, this vinegar's got lumps in it",

he said, "Those are pickled onions".

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How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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What did the rug say to the floor?

Don't move, I've got you covered.
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Where is a rabbit's favorite place to eat?

Ihop
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What do you call a baby bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear
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I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.

It's a total rip-off.
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What do you call a cow in a tornado?

A milkshake
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What do you call a fairy who doesn't take a bath?

Stinker Bell.
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Why was the ant so confused?

Because all his uncles were "ants"!
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