Where would an astronaut park his space ship?

A parking meteor!
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What do you call a bankrupt Santa?

Saint Nickel-less.
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How many dull people does it take to change a light bulb?

One.
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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That girl said she knew me from the vegitarian club,

but I'd never seen herbivore [her before]
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How many teenage girls does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One, but she'll be on the phone for five hours telling all her friends about it.
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What element is derived from a Norse god?

Thorium.
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What do you call a gorilla wearing earmuffs?

Anything you like, he can't hear you.
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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What`s black & white & red all over?

An embarrased mime!
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