Where would an astronaut park his space ship?

A parking meteor!
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I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.

It's a total rip-off.
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What kind of ties can't you wear?

Railroad ties.
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs
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What is "HIJKLMNO"?

H2O.
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

He got caught peeping on a test.
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How many brewers does it take to change a light bulb?

About one third less than for a regular bulb.
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What do you call a cow with no legs?

Ground beef.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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