Where would an astronaut park his space ship?

A parking meteor!
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How many conservatives does it take to change a light bulb?

One; after reflecting in the twilight on the merit of the previous bulb.
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What music does cheese listen to?

R & Brie.
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What do you get from a bad-tempered shark?

As far away as possible.
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A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"

The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".
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If H20 is water, what is H204?

Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
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Why are elephants wrinkled?

Because they don't fit on a ironing board
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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Why should you never tell a secret in a corn field?

Because there are too many ears.
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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