Where would an astronaut park his space ship?

A parking meteor!

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Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!

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I'll call you later.

Don't call me later, call me Dad.
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What do you call a crate of ducks?

A box of quackers.

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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.

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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood

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What do you call a bankrupt Santa?

Saint Nickel-less.
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?

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What do you call an exploding monkey?

A baboom

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How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They have machines to do that now.

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