Where would an astronaut park his space ship?

A parking meteor!
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What is a baby's motto?

If at first you don't succeed, cry and cry again!
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The other day I sent my girlfriend a huge pile of snow.

I rang her up, I said "Did you get my drift?".
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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What did the snail say when he got on the turtle's shell?

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
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Why didn't the rooster cross the road?

Because it was chicken.
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If a long dress is evening wear, what is a suit of armor?

Silverware.
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've been framed.
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How many U.S. Marines does it take to change a light bulb?

Fifty — one to screw in the bulb and 49 to guard him/her.
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