Where would an astronaut park his space ship?

A parking meteor!
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What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from?

Separation anxiety.
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What do you call a pig who knows karate?

Porkchop
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How many "pro-lifers" does it take to change a light bulb?

Six: two to screw in the bulb and four to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
None; the bulb will change itself when it is ready.
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How do you know when its Michael Jacksons bed time ?

When the big hand touches the little hand
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A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"

The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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Where do all the letters sleep?

In the alphabed.
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What is a shark's favorite sandwich?

Peanut butter and jellyfish.
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Why is Donald Trump always seen with Melania?

Because all his other wives support Hillary.
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