Where would an astronaut park his space ship?

A parking meteor!
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Name four men that are in a rock group together but none of them sing nor play music...

Mt Rushmore. They're a rock group.. it's a rock...group
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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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What do planets like to read?

Comet books!
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The defendant is accused of putting dynamite into a steer.

Abominable! [A Bomb In a Bull]
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?

2 Na
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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