Where would an astronaut park his space ship?

A parking meteor!
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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What do you call a guy who's born in Columbus, grows up in Cleveland, and then dies in Cincinnati?

Dead.
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A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar.

The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"
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What did the boat say to the pier?

What's up, dock?
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H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?

Drinking.
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Where did the farmer take the pigs on Saturday afternoon?

He took them to a pignic.
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How do you know Donald Trump is talking to you?

Cause your the only one Hair.
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How many Jewish renewal rabbis does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends. One, if it's an eco-kosher bulb that isn't going to be lit by electricity generated from nuclear power. Two, as long as a man and a woman rabbi have equal turns putting in the bulb. Three, one to change it, one to do a Buddhist mindfulness practice during the change, and one to document the paradigm shift in a best-selling book called The Jew in the Lightbulb. Four, same as above plus an additional rabbi to study the psycho-halachic implications of such a change and then lead a retreat weekend on the experience.
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Why do you think Civil Disobedience was such a fantastic essay?

Thoreau editing Thorough.
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