Where would an astronaut park his space ship?

A parking meteor!

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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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What has ears like a cat and a tail like a cat, but is not a cat?

A kitten.

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How do you make a hot dog stand?

Steal its chair.

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What do you call the best butter on the farm?

A goat.

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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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How many French Horn players does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he/she will spend hours checking for technical problems.

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Why shouldn't Donald Trump rag on illegal immigrants?

Because an undocumented worker has been living on his head for the past 2 decades!
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How many UNIX hacks does it take to change a light bulb?

As many as you want; they're all virtual anyway.


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