Where would an astronaut park his space ship?

A parking meteor!
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How do you know when the moon has enough to eat?

When it's full.
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How many lesbians does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: One to screw it in, and two to talk about how much better it is than with a man.
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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?

OH SNaP!
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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How many actors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. They don't like to share the spotlight.
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What did the mother broom say to the baby broom?

It's time to go to sweep.
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What do sea monsters eat for lunch?

Fish and ships.
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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck
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