Where would an astronaut park his space ship?

A parking meteor!
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What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?

A try and try and try-ceratops
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What do you call a cow in a tornado?

A milkshake
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What did the ceiling say to the chandelier?

You're the only bright spot in my life.
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Where did the sheep go on vacation?

The baaaahamas
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What happens when frogs park illegally?

They get toad.
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How many TV comedians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to say "Sock it to Me." (Notes: Sock it = Socket. Also, for the infant readers among you, this was a popular catch-phrase from "Laugh In.")
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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vulture?

The lawyer gets frequent flyer miles.
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What are lawyers good for?

They make used car salesmen look good.
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