Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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What do ghosts use to wash their hair?

Shamboo!
Frankenstein: Witch can you make me a lemonade?
Witch: Poof you are a lemonade!
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What's the definition of a minor second?

Two flutes playing in unison.

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What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.
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What's the difference between an accountant and a lawyer?

Accountants know they're boring.
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What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?

White vans.
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Trump: "Foreign Policy?,

if you mess with the United States, there will be hell toupee."

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How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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