Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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What do you call a gorilla wearing earmuffs?

Anything you like, he can't hear you.
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Why are lawyers like nuclear weapons?

If one side has one, the other side has to get one. Once launched, they cannot be recalled. When they land, they screw up everything forever.
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What time is it when an elephant sits on your bed?

Time to get a new bed
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How many dadaists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

To get to the other side.
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Where do cars go for a swim?

At the carpool!
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What goes 99 thump,99 thump,99 thump?

A centipede with a wooden leg.
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When Susan's boyfriend proposed marriage to her she said: "I love the simple things in life,

but I don't want one of them for my husband".

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