Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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What goes around a haunted house and never stops?

A fence.
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Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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Silver walks up to Gold in a bar and says, "AU, get outta here!"
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I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day.

Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.

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Where does an elephant pack his luggage?

In his trunk
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What's the difference between a female lawyer and a pitbull?

Lipstick.
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