Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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Four fonts walk into a bar

the barman says "Oi - get out! We don't want your type in here"

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What does an octopus wear when it gets cold?

A coat of arms.
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What do Santa's elves drink?

Minnesoda.
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Why is the French horn the most divine instrument?

Man blows into it, but God only knows what comes out

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Why did the surfer think the sea was his friend?

Because it gave him a big wave!
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