Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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Why did the turtle cross the road?

To get to the shell station.
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What kind of mouse does not eat, drink, or even walk?

A computer mouse.
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He made an illegal ewe turn.
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How do hair stylists speed up their job?

They take short cuts!
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What do you call a deer with no eyes?

No I deer
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How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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