Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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Why is Donald Trump always seen with Melania?

Because all his other wives support Hillary.
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What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

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Whats the difference between a cat and a compound sentence?

One has claws at the end of its paws and one has a pause at the end of its clause
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What's the only difference between Donald Trump and Bozo the Clown?

Bozo The Clown has real hair on his head.
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What do you get when you cross a Christmas tree with an apple?

A pineapple!
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I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.

It's a total rip-off.
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