Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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What did Michael Jackson say to Woody Allen?

Got two fives for a ten?
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What do you call 25 skydiving lawyers?

Skeet.
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Why was the piano player arrested?

Because he got into treble with the cops

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How many Bratzlaver Hasidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find a bulb that burns as brightly as the old one.
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What message did Bach have on his answering machine?

"This phone is baroque, please call Bach later."

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours?

Nacho cheese.
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