Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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Why does everybody like Frosty the Snowman?

Because he is so cool!
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What did the alien say to the garden?

Take me to your weeder!

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How many Microsoft executives does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Bill Gates will just redefine Darkness® as the industry standard.

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What has four legs and goes "Oom, Oom"?

A cow walking backwards

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Why did the Blonde stare at the Orange Juice carton?

Because it said CONCENTRATE.
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What did the snail say when he got on the turtle's shell?

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

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What kind of dessert does a ghost like?

I scream!
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