Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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How many Union Lighting Technicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It's not a bulb, it's a globe.
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What is the easiest way to count a herd of cattle?

With a cowculator.
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How do you stop a dog barking in the back seat of a car?

Put him in the front seat.
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Why did the basketball player bring his suitcase to his game?

Because he traveled a lot.
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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