Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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What did Tennessee?

The same thing Arkansas.
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What do you call a gorilla wearing earmuffs?

Anything you like, he can't hear you.
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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