Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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How many bass clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?

All of them
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What kind of cat should you never play games with?

A cheetah
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How can you tell is a singer is at your door?

They can't find the key, and they never know when to come in.
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How many Executive Producers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Executive Producers don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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If a long dress is evening wear, what is a suit of armor?

Silverware.
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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A mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno, dos..." and then

*poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
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