Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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How many lawyer jokes are there?

Only three. The rest are true stories.
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How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
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What do you call a lawyer gone bad.

Senator.
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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