Which candles burn longer, bee's wax or tallow?

Neither, they all burn shorter.
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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What is the snake's favorite subject?

Hiss-story
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase.

I can hardly contain myself.

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How many polite New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Both of them.
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Were does a boat go when it is sick?

To the dock.
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How many 2nd AD's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Uh...standby, I'll check on that.
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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