Which candles burn longer, bee's wax or tallow?

Neither, they all burn shorter.
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What do you call a lawyer gone bad.

Senator.
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Why doesn't Melania Trump want to be the first lady?

Because she would have to move into a smaller house.
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How many Klingons does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two. One to screw it in, and one to stab the other in the back and take all the credit.


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Who makes dinosaur clothes?

A dino-sewer.

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How many running-dog lackeys of the bourgeoisie does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to exploit the proletariat, and one to control the means of production!

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I went to the doctors the other day and I said, 'Have you got anything for wind?'

So he gave me a kite.

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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.

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How many tenors does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change the bulb and three to whine "It's too high"

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What is a baby's motto?

If at first you don't succeed, cry and cry again!
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