Which candles burn longer, bee's wax or tallow?

Neither, they all burn shorter.
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How many French Horn players does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he/she will spend hours checking for technical problems.
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How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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Why are pirates great singers?

They can hit the high C's!

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How many shaggy dogs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Fewer than it takes to screw in a heavy bulb.
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What do you call a crate of ducks?

A box of quackers.
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Went to the corner shop -

bought 4 corners.

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What's black and white and red all over?

A newspaper!
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What is the opposite of a restaurant?

A workaraunt.
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Can you use pink,yellow and green in a sentence?

. The phone went green green, and I pinked it up and said yellow.
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