Which candles burn longer, bee's wax or tallow?

Neither, they all burn shorter.
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How many ``pro-lifers'' does it take to change a light bulb?

6: 2 to screw in the bulb and 4 to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
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Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.
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What did the boat say to the pier?

What's up, dock?
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How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb?

The fish.
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How many Cabbage Patch dolls does it take to change a light bulb?

The question is irrelevant, since you couldn't find the dolls even if you knew how many. (Note: Well, this was a good joke in 1983-84. . . .)
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Why did the thief take a shower?

He wanted to make a clean getaway!
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"Mommy, everyone says I look like a werewolf."

"Please be quiet and comb your face."
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What do you call a fat pumpkin?

A plumpkin.
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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