Which candles burn longer, bee's wax or tallow?

Neither, they all burn shorter.
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What did the little girl say when she had to choose between a tricycle and a candy bar?

"Trike or Treat"?
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Humpty Trumpty wants a great wall.

Humpty Trumpty wants Mexico to pay for it all.
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How many apples grow on a tree?

All of them.
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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Why didn't the girl take the bus home?

Because her mom would make her take it back.
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When are kids most likely to go to school?

When the door is open.
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What did one owl say to the other owl?

Happy Owl-ween!
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I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day

but I couldn't find any.

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