Which candles burn longer, bee's wax or tallow?

Neither, they all burn shorter.
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How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."

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What is the strongest animal?

A snail because it carries it's home.

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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.

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How do you fix a broken brass instrument?

With a Tuba glue.

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How do you know when the moon has enough to eat?

When it's full.

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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've been framed.
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What do you call a beautiful woman on a trombonist's arm?

A tattoo.

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What do you call two banana peels?

Slippers.

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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet

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