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Which candles burn longer, bee's wax or tallow?
Neither, they all burn shorter.
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I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day.
Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.
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Why was the mouse afraid of the water?
Catfish
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How do you make a hot dog stand?
Steal its chair.
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Where do computers go to dance?
The disk-o!
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?
Decalfinated
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What is at the end of everything?
The letter G.
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How do you handle dangerous cheese?
Caerphilly.
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Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.
The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.
That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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