Which candles burn longer, bee's wax or tallow?

Neither, they all burn shorter.
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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What has legs but doesn't walk?

A bed.
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What did the rug say to the floor?

Don't move, I've got you covered.
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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.
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Where do soldiers keep their armies?

In their Sleevies!
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Why did the cucumber call 911?

It was in a pickle!
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What's an alligator's favorite drink?

Gator-Ade.
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