Which candles burn longer, bee's wax or tallow?

Neither, they all burn shorter.
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What's the difference between Donald Trump and Ronald Reagan?

If Trump gets Alzheimers his IQ will go up.
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What has a lot of keys but can not open any doors?

A piano.
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What do you call a fish without an eye?

Fsh
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How many socialists does it take to change a light bulb?

One to petition the Ministry of Light for a bulb, 50 to establish the state production quota, 200 militia to force the factory unions to allow production of the bulb, and one to surreptitiously dial an "800" number to order an American light bulb.
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What do you call a calf after it's six months old?

Seven months old.
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"Dyslexic man walks into a bra"
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What do you get when you cross a roll of wool and a kangaroo?

A woolen jumper
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What do you call a cow that plays a musical instrument?

A Moo-sician!

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How Many lead guitarist does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just steal somebody else's light.
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