Which candles burn longer, bee's wax or tallow?

Neither, they all burn shorter.
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Why is Donald Trump always seen with Melania?

Because all his other wives support Hillary.
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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What has a head but no body?

A nail.
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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.' The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal.

Her husband responds, "But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."

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What do you get when you cross a Christmas tree with an apple?

A pineapple!
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I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.

It's a total rip-off.
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Why does Trump love the poorly educated?

Because they only know their ABCs "Anybody But Clinton".
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