Which candles burn longer, bee's wax or tallow?

Neither, they all burn shorter.
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What kind of dessert does a ghost like?

I scream!
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What do you get if Bach falls off a horse but has the courage to get on again and continue riding?

Bach in the saddle again.

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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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What is a cat's favorite breakfast?

Mice krispies
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How many cats does it takes to screw in a light bulb?

You can throw away your light bulbs. Just douse the cat with gasoline, light it up with a match, and you'll have all the light you need. (Comment: BLEAH!)
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How many ``pro-lifers'' does it take to change a light bulb?

6: 2 to screw in the bulb and 4 to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
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Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?

It was two tired.
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How do you fix a broken brass instrument?

With a Tuba glue.

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What kind of ties can't you wear?

Railroad ties.
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