Which candles burn longer, bee's wax or tallow?

Neither, they all burn shorter.
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How do you make an egg laugh?

Tell it a yolk.

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I think I want a job cleaning mirrors.


It's something I could really see myself doing.
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How many freelance biotechnologists does it take to change a light bulb?

One; she designs the bulb to crawl up the wall, unscrew the old one, and screw itself in.

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Does it take longer to run from 1st base to 2nd, or from 2nd to 3rd?

From 2nd to 3rd because there's a shortstop in the middle.
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How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. No, two. No... How many do we have on the truck?

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How many Sound Recordists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

WHAT?

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Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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What do whales eat?

Fish and ships.

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