Which candles burn longer, bee's wax or tallow?

Neither, they all burn shorter.
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What do you call snake with no clothes on?

Snaked.

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Doc, I can't stop singing the 'Green Green Grass of Home'. He said: 'That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome'. 'Is it common?'I asked.

'It's not unusual' he replied.

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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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What do you call a pig that's been arrested for dangerous driving?

A road hog.

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Which is the most religious cheese?

Emmental...it's very hol(e)y...
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What kind of pants do ghosts wear?

Boo-Jeans.
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How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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Where do you learn to make banana splits?

In sundae school.
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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.

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