Which candles burn longer, bee's wax or tallow?

Neither, they all burn shorter.
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How is Donald Trump going to shut down the Department of Education?

By renaming it Trump University.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon
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There's a fine line between a numerator and denominator.

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How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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What did one egg say to the other egg?

Let's get crackin'!
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Did you know that oxygen went for a second date with potassium?
How did it go?

It went OK2!
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How many French Horn players does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he/she will spend hours checking for technical problems.
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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