Which candles burn longer, bee's wax or tallow?

Neither, they all burn shorter.
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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What do vampires take when they are sick?

Coffin drops!
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Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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What did the porcupine say to the cactus?

Is that you mommy?
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How many Christians does it take to change a light bulb?

Three, but they're really only one.
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Why did the lamb cross the road?

To get to the baaaaarber shop
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How do you fix a broken vegetable?

With tomato paste.
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What did the judge say to the dentist?

Do you swear to pull the tooth, the whole tooth and nothing but the tooth?
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In what school do you learn how to greet people?

Hi school.
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