Which candles burn longer, bee's wax or tallow?

Neither, they all burn shorter.
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How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one more, guys, I promise.
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What day of the week tastes the best?

Sunday!
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Don't trust atoms,

they make up everything.
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How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.
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If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they'd be alloys.
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What happens when you play "the blues" backwards?

Your wife comes back to you, your dog returns to life and you get out of prison.

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How do you make Holy water?

Take regular water and just boil the hell out of it.
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How many dadaists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

To get to the other side.
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