Which candles burn longer, bee's wax or tallow?

Neither, they all burn shorter.
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Which runs faster, hot or cold water?

Hot, because you can catch cold.
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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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How many teamsters does it take to change a light bulb?

``Twelve. Ya got a problem with that?''
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What is a cat's favorite breakfast?

Mice krispies
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What did the octopus say to his girlfriend when he proposed?

Can I have your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage?
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How did the egg cross the road?

It scrambled across!
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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How many Marxists does it take to change a light bulb?

None. The light bulb contains the seeds of its own revolution.
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I went to the Doctors the other day, and he said, 'Go to Bournemouth, it's great for flu'.

So I went - and I got it.
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