Which candles burn longer, bee's wax or tallow?

Neither, they all burn shorter.
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Can you say Richard and Robert had a rabbit without using the "r" sound?

Sure, Dick and Bob had a bunny!
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How many Bratzlaver Chassidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find one that burned as brightly as the first one.
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What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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What do clarinetists use for birth control?

Their personalities.

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How many shaggy dogs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Fewer than it takes to screw in a heavy bulb.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
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I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day.

Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.

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Why did the poultry farmer become a school teacher?

So he could grade his eggs.
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Did you hear about Michael Jackson's latest record?

"Feel the World."
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