Which candles burn longer, bee's wax or tallow?

Neither, they all burn shorter.
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What does the winner of the race lose?

His breath.
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How many Agents does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Actually, agents will screw in just about anything.
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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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What do Donald Trump and a baby have in common?

They both whine alot!
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Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?

It needed to be trimmed.
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What did the ghost say to the other ghost?

Do you believe in humans?
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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What do you do with a dead chemist?

Barium
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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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