Which candles burn longer, bee's wax or tallow?

Neither, they all burn shorter.
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How many actors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. They don't like to share the spotlight.
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What do Donald Trump and a baby have in common?

They both whine alot!
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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Why did the sun go to school?

To get brighter!
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon
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How many record producers does it take to change a lightbulb?

Two… one to tell the engineer to do it, the other to say "I don't know, what do you think?"

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Trump: "Foreign Policy?,

if you mess with the United States, there will be hell toupee."

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