Which candles burn longer, bee's wax or tallow?

Neither, they all burn shorter.
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What goes tick-tock, bow-wow, tick-tock, bow-wow?

A watch dog.
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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Why does a giraffe have such a long neck?

Because his feet stink
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How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb?

The fish.
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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What do you call two banana peels?

Slippers.
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What did one titration say to the other?

"Let's meet at the endpoint."
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