Which candles burn longer, bee's wax or tallow?

Neither, they all burn shorter.
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How many Anglicans does it take to change a lightbulb?

A whole synod. One to move that the bulb be changed while the others debate until the room spins.

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Why are Muslims worried about Trumps immigration plans?

Once you deport Juan you deport Jamal.
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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How many bureaucrats does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to assure the everything possible is being done while the other screws the bulb into the water faucet.

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Why did the elephant leave the circus?

He was tired of working for peanuts.
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What is the difference between a fly and superman?

Superman can fly, but a fly cannot superman!
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.

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What do you call a thieving alligator?

A crookodile

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A sandwich walks into a bar.

The barman says "Sorry we don't serve food in here"

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