Which candles burn longer, bee's wax or tallow?

Neither, they all burn shorter.
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How many TV evangelists does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But for the message of light to continue, send in your donation today.


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What did one egg say to the other egg?

You crack me up!

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Where can you find a good lawyer?

In the cemetery
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Why can't a bicycle stand up?

Because it's two tired!
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How many does it take to screw in a light bulb?

10. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.

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How do you know when its Michael Jacksons bed time ?

When the big hand touches the little hand
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What is a cat's favorite movie?

The sound of Mew-sic

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What do ghosts use to wash their hair?

Shamboo!
Frankenstein: Witch can you make me a lemonade?
Witch: Poof you are a lemonade!
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What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?

OH SNaP!
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