Which candles burn longer, bee's wax or tallow?

Neither, they all burn shorter.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a prostitute?

A prostitute will stop screwing you when you're dead.
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Why was the woman fired from the car assembly line?

She was caught taking a brake.
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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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Why did the chicken cross the clothing store?

To get to the other size!
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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What goes up and down but never moves?

Stairs.
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What do you call a public servant who doesn't take crap from Republicans or Democrats?

Donald Trump.
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What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?

CSI
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