Which candles burn longer, bee's wax or tallow?

Neither, they all burn shorter.
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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What do you call a king who is only 12 inches tall?

A ruler.
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What's the difference between a vacuum cleaner and a lawyer on a motorcycle?

The vacuum cleaner has the dirt bag on the inside.
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How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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What do you call a dinosaur at the rodeo?

A Broncosaurus or a Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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A man goes to a zoo and discovers there is only one animal and it's a dog.

It was a Shih Tzu
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Why do pandas like old movies?

Because they are black and white.
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What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon
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