Which candles burn longer, bee's wax or tallow?

Neither, they all burn shorter.
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How many record producers does it take to change a lightbulb?

Two… one to tell the engineer to do it, the other to say "I don't know, what do you think?"

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What did the class clown take a computer to school?

Her mom told her to bring in an apple for the teacher.
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What do you get when you plant a frog?

A cr-oak tree.
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How many Jewish American Princesses does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call Daddy, and one to get the (pick one:) mineral water/Tab.
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What do you call a mad elephant?

An earthquake.
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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When does New Year's Day come before Christmas Day?

Every year!
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There's a fine line between a numerator and denominator.

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Where do fortune tellers dance?

At the crystal ball.
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