Which candles burn longer, bee's wax or tallow?

Neither, they all burn shorter.
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Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day

but I couldn't find any.

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How many gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.
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How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But the guitarist has to show him first.

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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs
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How many ``pro-lifers'' does it take to change a light bulb?

6: 2 to screw in the bulb and 4 to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
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What was the farmer doing on the other side of the road?

He was catching all the chickens!
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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck
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