Which candles burn longer, bee's wax or tallow?

Neither, they all burn shorter.
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What would happen if pigs could fly?

The price of bacon would go up.
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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck
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What do Santa's elves drink?

Minnesoda.
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What do you call a public servant who doesn't take crap from Republicans or Democrats?

Donald Trump.
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Where do mice park their boats?

At the hickory dickory dock.
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Why did the poultry farmer become a school teacher?

So he could grade his eggs.
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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Which reindeer likes to clean?

Comet
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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