Which candles burn longer, bee's wax or tallow?

Neither, they all burn shorter.
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There's a fine line between a numerator and denominator.

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How many sheep do you need to make a sweater?

I don't know. I didn't think sheep could knit
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Where does a ten ton elephant sit?

Anywhere it wants to
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What do you do with a dead chemist?

Barium
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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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What do you get from a bad-tempered shark?

As far away as possible.
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How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?

OH SNaP!
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Why did the man take a pencil to bed?

Because he wanted to draw the curtains!
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