Which candles burn longer, bee's wax or tallow?

Neither, they all burn shorter.
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Why was the math book sad?

It had too many problems.
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What did the little girl say when she had to choose between a tricycle and a candy bar?

"Trike or Treat"?
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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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What kind of balls do dragons play soccer with?

Fireballs.
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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What's the one thing that never works when it's fixed?

A jury.
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What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?

White vans.
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What is the difference between a lawyer and a rooster?

When a rooster wakes up in the morning, its primal urge is to cluck defiance.
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