Which candles burn longer, bee's wax or tallow?

Neither, they all burn shorter.
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How many punk rockers does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and seventeen on the guest list.
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How many Bratzlaver Chassidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find one that burned as brightly as the first one.
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How many Marxists does it take to change a light bulb?

None. The light bulb contains the seeds of its own revolution.
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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How many Bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb??

What's a light bulb?
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What did the alien say when he was out of room?

I'm all spaced out!
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He made an illegal ewe turn.
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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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Why did the skeleton cross the road?

To get to the body shop.
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