Which candles burn longer, bee's wax or tallow?

Neither, they all burn shorter.
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What do you call a smiling, sober, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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Why does cheese look sane?

Because everything else on the plate is crackers.
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Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?

He got Avogadro's number!
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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What is the chemical formula for "coffee"?

CoFe2
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Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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What do fish take to stay healthy?

Vitamin sea.
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