Which candles burn longer, bee's wax or tallow?

Neither, they all burn shorter.
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Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks.

They charged one - and let the other one off.

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How can you tell is a singer is at your door?

They can't find the key, and they never know when to come in.
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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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What did the alien say to the garden?

Take me to your weeder!
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What concert costs 45 cents?

50 cent featuring Nickelback

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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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Why did the sun go to school?

To get brighter!
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How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But the guitarist has to show him first.

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Why did the cat go to Minnesota?

To get a mini soda
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