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Which candles burn longer, bee's wax or tallow?
Neither, they all burn shorter.
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What did the alien say to the garden?
Take me to your weeder!
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How do you make a band stand?
Take their chairs away!
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How does a dog stop a video?
He presses the paws button.
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What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from?
Separation anxiety.
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How can you tell that a train just went by?
It left its tracks.
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Why do ghosts make good cheerleaders?
Because they have a lot of spirit.
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How can you get four suits for a dollar?
Buy a deck of cards.
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What do you call the best butter on the farm?
A goat.
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What's black and white and red all over?
A sunburnt zebra.
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