Which candles burn longer, bee's wax or tallow?

Neither, they all burn shorter.
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Dorian Gray Jokes,

they never get old!
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How do you make a fire with two sticks?

Make sure one is a match!
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What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?

A pair of Re-Bachs.

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What do you call a cat sitting on the beach on Christmas Eve?

Sandy Claws.
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What is the chemical formula for "coffee"?

CoFe2
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How many Yuppies (WASPs) does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call the electrician, and one to mix the drinks.
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What kind of fly has a frog in its throat?

A hoarse fly!
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline?

You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline.
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What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?

HeHe
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