Which candles burn longer, bee's wax or tallow?

Neither, they all burn shorter.
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What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

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How many TV comedians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to say "Sock it to Me." (Notes: Sock it = Socket. Also, for the infant readers among you, this was a popular catch-phrase from "Laugh In.")
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.
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What happens when frogs park illegally?

They get toad.
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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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What has four legs, a trunk, and sunglasses?

A mouse on vacation.
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