Which candles burn longer, bee's wax or tallow?

Neither, they all burn shorter.
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What did the little girl say when she had to choose between a tricycle and a candy bar?

"Trike or Treat"?
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Why can't you say a joke while standing on ice?

Because it might crack up!
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How many apples grow on a tree?

All of them.
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Why do pandas like old movies?

Because they are black and white.
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What do you call a rabbit with beetles all over it?

Bugs Bunny.
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How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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Where do soldiers keep their armies?

In their Sleevies!
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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What is Donald Trumps biggest dilemma now that he's president?

Finding a cabinet position for the thing on his head!
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