Which candles burn longer, bee's wax or tallow?

Neither, they all burn shorter.
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What starts with E, ends with E and only has one letter?

An envelope.
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What do have when a lawyer is buried up to his neck in sand?

Not enough sand.
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How many conservatives does it take to change a light bulb?

One; after reflecting in the twilight on the merit of the previous bulb.
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What do you call a rabbit with beetles all over it?

Bugs Bunny.
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What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.
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Why was the piano player arrested?

Because he got into treble with the cops

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What is a cat's favorite movie?

The sound of Mew-sic
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Why are elephants wrinkled?

Because they don't fit on a ironing board
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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