Which candles burn longer, bee's wax or tallow?

Neither, they all burn shorter.
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What's black and white and red all over?

A sunburnt zebra.
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Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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How do you make a band stand?

Take their chairs away!
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What's black and white and red all over?

A blushing zebra.
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What do you call 25 skydiving lawyers?

Skeet.
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What did the light bulb say to its mother?

I wuv you watts and watts.
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What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.
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So I was on a train with Einstein and he turns to me and asks...

Does Boston stop at this train?
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Humpty Trumpty wants a great wall.

Humpty Trumpty wants Mexico to pay for it all.
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