Which candles burn longer, bee's wax or tallow?

Neither, they all burn shorter.
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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Why is Superman's costume so tight?

Because he wears a size "S".
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What do you call a movie about Donald Trump, Bernie Madoff, and Kenneth Lay?

The League of Extraordinary Con Men.
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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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Where did the sheep go on vacation?

The baaaahamas
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What do you call a dinosaur at the rodeo?

A Broncosaurus or a Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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If a long dress is evening wear, what is a suit of armor?

Silverware.
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