Which candles burn longer, bee's wax or tallow?

Neither, they all burn shorter.
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

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Why can't a bicycle stand up?

Because it's two tired!
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How many freelance biotechnologists does it take to change a light bulb?

One; she designs the bulb to crawl up the wall, unscrew the old one, and screw itself in.
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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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What do you call a boomerang that won't come back?

A stick.
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What do you call a crate of ducks?

A box of quackers.
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How is Donald Trump going to shut down the Department of Education?

By renaming it Trump University.
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