Which candles burn longer, bee's wax or tallow?

Neither, they all burn shorter.
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What do Russians use for napkins?

Soviets
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Did you hear about Michael Jackson's latest record?

"Feel the World."
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How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. No, two. No... How many do we have on the truck?
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When should you buy a bird?

When it's going cheep!

Did you hear the one about the crow and the telephone pole?
He wanted to make a long distance caw.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?

There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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Why did the boy take a ladder to school?

He wanted to go to high school!
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What is the opposite of a restaurant?

A workaraunt.
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