Which candles burn longer, bee's wax or tallow?

Neither, they all burn shorter.
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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How many IBM engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just let Marketing explain that "Dead Bulb" is a feature.
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Where did the sheep go on vacation?

The baaaahamas
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What do Russians use for napkins?

Soviets
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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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Why did the melon jump into the lake?

It wanted to be a watermelon.
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What's round and bad-tempered?

A vicious circle.
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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