Which candles burn longer, bee's wax or tallow?

Neither, they all burn shorter.
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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What do you call a fake noodle?

An impasta
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How many `Real Women' does it take to change a light bulb?

None: A `Real Woman' would have plenty of real men around to do it.
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How many chiropractors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but it takes six visits.
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How does the ocean say hello?

It waves.
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What do you call a lawyer gone bad.

Senator.
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There were 10 cats in a boat and one jumped out. How many were left?

None, because they were copycats
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What did the frog say when he heard "time flies when you are having fun?"

Time is fun when you're having flies
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What's the difference between an accountant and a lawyer?

Accountants know they're boring.
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