Which candles burn longer, bee's wax or tallow?

Neither, they all burn shorter.
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Why did the cucumber call 911?

It was in a pickle!
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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What is always hot in the refrigerator?

Chili
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What do you call a baby bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear
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Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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How many economists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to assume the ladder and one to change the bulb.

A': None. If the government would just leave it alone, it would screw itself in.
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Making bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon
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How many Mensans does it take to tell Mensa light bulb jokes?

Five. One to tell the joke and one to get it.
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Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?

He was board.
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