Which candles burn longer, bee's wax or tallow?

Neither, they all burn shorter.
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Why did the turtle cross the road?

To get to the shell station.
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What has four legs and goes "Oom, Oom"?

A cow walking backwards
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I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day

but I couldn't find any.

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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?

A spelling bee!
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How many referral agents does it take to change a light bulb?

Two: One to screw you out of a fee, and the other to send you to a store where they ran out of bulbs weeks ago.
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What do ghosts eat for supper?

Spooketi
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Why did the cow go to outer space?

To visit the milky way.
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What did the frog say when he heard "time flies when you are having fun?"

Time is fun when you're having flies
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