Which candles burn longer, bee's wax or tallow?

Neither, they all burn shorter.
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What did the alien say to the garden?

Take me to your weeder!
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How do you make a band stand?

Take their chairs away!
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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from?

Separation anxiety.
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How can you tell that a train just went by?

It left its tracks.
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Why do ghosts make good cheerleaders?

Because they have a lot of spirit.
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How can you get four suits for a dollar?


Buy a deck of cards.
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What do you call the best butter on the farm?

A goat.
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What's black and white and red all over?

A sunburnt zebra.
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