Which candles burn longer, bee's wax or tallow?

Neither, they all burn shorter.
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So the Pillsbury Doughboy's pants fell off and I..

feel really weird about donuts right now.
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What has 6 eyes but can't see?

3 blind mice.
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What's black and white and red all over?

A blushing zebra.
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How many pre-med students does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: One to change the bulb and four to pull the ladder out from under him/her.
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How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: one to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.
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Have you heard the joke about the butter?

I better not tell you, it might spread.
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What is the difference between a lawyer and a rooster?

When a rooster wakes up in the morning, its primal urge is to cluck defiance.
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How many junkies does it take to screw in a light bulb?

``Oh wow, is it like dark, man?''
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I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.

It's a total rip-off.
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