Which candles burn longer, bee's wax or tallow?

Neither, they all burn shorter.
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Why are there fences around a graveyard?

Because people are dying to get in!
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What are the 10 letters of the pirate alphabet?

Aye, Aye, Arr and the Seven C's
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What do you do when your chair breaks?

Call a chairman.
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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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The oddly pleasant feeling of looking down on a physist as they drink the last of their beer.

The strange charm of a top down bottoms up.
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"I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it,

it was a shitzu."
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What do Russians use for napkins?

Soviets
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

Because he was caught tweeting on a test.
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