Which candles burn longer, bee's wax or tallow?

Neither, they all burn shorter.
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What do you call cheese that isn't yours?

Nacho cheese.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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What has legs but doesn't walk?

A bed.
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What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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What did the momma buffalo say to her son before he went to school?

Bison
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How many Californians does it take to change a light bulb?

Six. One to turn the bulb, one for support, and four to relate to the experience.
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What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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What did the peanut say to the walnut?

Nothing. Nuts can't talk.
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