Which candles burn longer, bee's wax or tallow?

Neither, they all burn shorter.
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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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Why was the boy sitting on his watch?

Because he wanted to be on time.
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How do you make a hot dog stand?

Steal its chair.
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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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What did the class clown take a computer to school?

Her mom told her to bring in an apple for the teacher.
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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Why did the elephant leave the circus?

He was tired of working for peanuts.
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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