Which candles burn longer, bee's wax or tallow?

Neither, they all burn shorter.
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How many APL hackers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There's a primitive for that.
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A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"

The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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What's the difference between a snow man and a snow woman?

Snow balls!
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A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."

The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."
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What's a tree's favorite drink?

Rootbeer.
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Trump: "Foreign Policy?,

if you mess with the United States, there will be hell toupee."

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What's worse than a worm in your apple?

Half a worm.
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I backed a horse last week at ten to one.

It came in at quarter past four.

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