Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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What has one horn and gives milk?

A milk truck.
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Why did the chicken cross the road, roll in mud, then cross the road again?

He was a dirty double crosser!
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What bone will a dog never eat?

A trombone.
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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How did the bubble gum cross the road?

On the bottom of the chicken's foot!
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What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".
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What did the rug say to the floor?

Don't move, I've got you covered.
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