Which day do fish hate?

Fryday

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What would happen if pigs could fly?

The price of bacon would go up.

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Two girls were born on the same day, same year, same parents, except they are not twins. Explain:

They are triplets.
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What is a cat's favorite movie?

The sound of Mew-sic

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How many art directors does it take to screw in a light bulb

Does it have to be a light bulb? I've got this neat candle holder...

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What do vampires take when they are sick?

Coffin drops!
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Why is tennis such a loud game?

Because each player raises a racquet.
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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