Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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How many plastic surgeons does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he'll also want to do something about your nose.
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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I stayed up all night because I wanted to see where the sun went,

and then it dawned on me.
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Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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What does a calf become after it's 1 year old?

2 years old.

Cow: "Mooooove over"
Sheep: "Naaaaaaa."
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What do you call a mad elephant?

An earthquake.
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