Which day do fish hate?

Fryday

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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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Whats Donald Trump's favorite nation?

Discrimination.
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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.

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What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".

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Do you know how many musicians it takes to change a light bulb?

No, but hum a few bars and I'll fake it.

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What's worse than a worm in your apple?

Half a worm.

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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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