Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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Why did the belt go to jail?

It held up a pair of pants.
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Whats Donald Trump's favorite nation?

Discrimination.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon
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Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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Now that Macy's has severed ties, with Donald Trump, how can the average American look like the President?

By hunting and killing their own hair piece.
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What did the snowman say to the customer?

Have an ice day!
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