Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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How many Psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but the bulb has got to really WANT to change.
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?

He was board.
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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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When Susan's boyfriend proposed marriage to her she said: "I love the simple things in life,

but I don't want one of them for my husband".

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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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