Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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Why did the banana split?

It saw the ginger snap.
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What did the calculator say to the math student?

You can count on me!
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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How does a pig go to hospital?

In a hambulance.
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What did the painter say to the wall?

I got you covered.
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How many Sound Recordists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

WHAT?
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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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