Which is the most religious cheese?

Emmental...it's very hol(e)y...
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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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How many ``pro-lifers'' does it take to change a light bulb?

6: 2 to screw in the bulb and 4 to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
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How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.
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Where do ghosts buy their food?

At the ghost-ery store!
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How many Zen masters does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A tree in a golden forest.
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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Why does a stork stand on one leg?

Because it would fall over if it lifted the other one.
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How many 2nd AD's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Uh...standby, I'll check on that.
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