Which is the most religious cheese?

Emmental...it's very hol(e)y...
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Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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Why are kindergarten teachers so good?

They can make little things count.
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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck
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How many chiropractors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but it takes six visits.
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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon!
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What is a frog's favorite year?

Leap Year
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