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Which is the most religious cheese?
Emmental...it's very hol(e)y...
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How many [ethnics] does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Ten. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.
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Humpty Trumpty wants a great wall.
Humpty Trumpty wants Mexico to pay for it all.
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Why did the student eat her homework?
Because the teacher said it was a piece of cake!
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How did the egg cross the road?
It scrambled across!
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Who makes the best cake on a baseball team?
The batter.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and God?
God doesn't think he's a lawyer.
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Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.
The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?
HeHe
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