Which is the most religious cheese?

Emmental...it's very hol(e)y...
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What's the difference between a female lawyer and a pitbull?

Lipstick.

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What did the momma buffalo say to her son before he went to school?

Bison

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Why did the lamb cross the road?

To get to the baaaaarber shop

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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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How many art directors does it take to screw in a light bulb

Does it have to be a light bulb? I've got this neat candle holder...

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What's the difference between a jellyfish and a lawyer?

One's a spineless, poisonous blob. The other is a form of sea life.

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How do you make Holy water?

Take regular water and just boil the hell out of it.
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