Which is the most religious cheese?

Emmental...it's very hol(e)y...
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How many [ethnics] does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Ten. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.
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Humpty Trumpty wants a great wall.

Humpty Trumpty wants Mexico to pay for it all.
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Why did the student eat her homework?

Because the teacher said it was a piece of cake!
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How did the egg cross the road?

It scrambled across!
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Who makes the best cake on a baseball team?

The batter.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and God?

God doesn't think he's a lawyer.
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Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?

HeHe
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