Which is the most religious cheese?

Emmental...it's very hol(e)y...
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Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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Why did the thief take a shower?

He wanted to make a clean getaway!
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What do you get when you plant a frog?

A cr-oak tree.
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Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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What room does a ghost not need?

A living room!
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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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What is a tree's favorite drink?

Root beer.
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