Which is the most religious cheese?

Emmental...it's very hol(e)y...
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What airline does Donald Trump aspire to fly?

Hair Force One!
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated

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How many cats does it takes to screw in a light bulb?

You can throw away your light bulbs. Just douse the cat with gasoline, light it up with a match, and you'll have all the light you need. (Comment: BLEAH!)

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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.

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How many Wardrobe people does it take to screw in a light bulb?

"Nobody said I needed doubles on that!"

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Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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What do you call a dinosaur at the rodeo?

A Broncosaurus or a Tyrannosaurus Tex.

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A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off.

"because," he said "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."

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