Which is the most religious cheese?

Emmental...it's very hol(e)y...
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How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.
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Why did the bird get a ticket?

It broke the law of gravity!
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How many accountants does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What kind of answer did you have in mind?
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What did the peanut say to the walnut?

Nothing. Nuts can't talk.
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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.
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What has a lot of keys but can not open any doors?

A piano.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He made an illegal ewe turn.
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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've got you covered!
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