Which reindeer likes to clean?

Comet
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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What has a lot of keys but can not open any doors?

A piano.
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Were does a boat go when it is sick?

To the dock.
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How many ergonomicists does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. Four to decide which way the bulb ought to turn, and . . .
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How many UNIX hacks does it take to change a light bulb?

As many as you want; they're all virtual anyway.
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How many apples grow on a tree?

All of them.
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What's the difference between an accountant and a lawyer?

Accountants know they're boring.
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What do you call a clown who's in jail?

A silicon.
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