Which reindeer likes to clean?

Comet
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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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How do you make Holy water?

Take regular water and just boil the hell out of it.
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A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"

The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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What do you call a deer that costs a dollar?

A buck.
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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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Why did God make snakes just before lawyers?

To practice.
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Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?

He got Avogadro's number!
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