Which reindeer likes to clean?

Comet
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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What is the definition of a "crying shame"?

There was an empty seat.
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Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?

Because it's pretty basic stuff.
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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What did Cinderella say to the photographer?

Some day my prints will come.
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How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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