Which runs faster, hot or cold water?

Hot, because you can catch cold.
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What did the boat say to the pier?

What's up, dock?
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How many Italians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

I dunno exactly, but my brother's girlfriend's father's boss's secretary's sister's next-door neighbors' priest's cousin's union shop steward's uncle's Knights Of Columbus club Sergeant-of-Arms's nephew's best friend did it real cheap for me once.
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What kind of pants do ghosts wear?

Boo-Jeans.
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How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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What do you call a bruise on a T-Rex?

A dino-sore
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A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.' The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal.

Her husband responds, "But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."

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Why did the drum take a nap?

It was beat.
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How many professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but they get three tech. reports out of it.
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How many times does Bill Clinton change a light bulb?

No one knows. Republicans automatically disbelieve him, and no one can ever trust a stinking liberal anyway.
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