Which runs faster, hot or cold water?

Hot, because you can catch cold.
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How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
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What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

Frostbite.
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What do you call a loony spaceman?

An astronut.
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What did the frog say when he heard "time flies when you are having fun?"

Time is fun when you're having flies
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What do you call a calf after it's six months old?

Seven months old.
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How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away his credit card
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What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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What kind of flower has lips?

Two-lips!
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What's round and bad-tempered?

A vicious circle.
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