Which runs faster, hot or cold water?

Hot, because you can catch cold.
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A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.' The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal.

Her husband responds, "But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."

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What`s black & white & red all over?

An embarrased mime!
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Why are pirates great singers?

They can hit the high C's!

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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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How many singers from Nashville does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change it, one to sing about how heartbroken he is at the loss of the old one, one to sing about how madly in love he is with the new one, and one to go "Yee-Hah!" and throw his cowboy hat in the air.
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How do locomotives hear?

Through the engineers.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from?

Separation anxiety.
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Why is Superman's costume so tight?

Because he wears a size "S".
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