Which runs faster, hot or cold water?

Hot, because you can catch cold.
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How many light bulbs does it take to change a light bulb?

One, if it knows its own Goedel number.
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Can you say Richard and Robert had a rabbit without using the "r" sound?

Sure, Dick and Bob had a bunny!
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I stayed up all night because I wanted to see where the sun went,

and then it dawned on me.
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What do you call cheese that isn't yours?

Nacho cheese.
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Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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If you don't know what introspection is,

you need to take a long, hard look at yourself.
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I’ve never gone to a gun range before.

I decided to give it a shot!
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What do you call a cow in a tornado?

A milkshake
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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