Which runs faster, hot or cold water?

Hot, because you can catch cold.
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What kind of cat should you never play games with?

A cheetah
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How many lawyers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Three, One to climb the ladder. One to shake it. And one to sue the ladder company.
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What do you call the best butter on the farm?

A goat.
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What kind of table has no legs.

A multiplication table.
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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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Why did the chicken cross the playground?

To get to the other slide!
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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Why do they bury lawyers under 20 feet of dirt?

Because deep down, they're really good people.
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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