Which runs faster, hot or cold water?

Hot, because you can catch cold.
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Why are Muslims worried about Trumps immigration plans?

Once you deport Juan you deport Jamal.
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Whats the difference between a cat and a compound sentence?

One has claws at the end of its paws and one has a pause at the end of its clause
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vulture?

The lawyer gets frequent flyer miles.
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What has 6 eyes but can't see?

3 blind mice.
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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Who makes dinosaur clothes?

A dino-sewer.
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What do you call a cat sitting on the beach on Christmas Eve?

Sandy Claws.
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I rang up British Telecom, I said, "I want to report a nuisance caller",

he said "Not you again".

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What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?

It gave a little wine
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