Which runs faster, hot or cold water?

Hot, because you can catch cold.
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What did one eye say to the other?

Between you and me, something smells.
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How do you prevent a Summer cold?

Catch it in the Winter!
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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?

OH SNaP!
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How many IBM PC owners does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but she/he'll have to go out and buy the light bulb adaptor card first, which is extra.
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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Have you heard the joke about the butter?

I better not tell you, it might spread.
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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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