Which runs faster, hot or cold water?

Hot, because you can catch cold.
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Where do orcas hear music?

Orca-stras
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What do you call a boomerang that won't come back?

A stick.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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What did the alien say to the garden?

Take me to your weeder!
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Why are babies good at soccer?

Because they dribble!
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Why is the French horn the most divine instrument?

Man blows into it, but God only knows what comes out

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Why did the baseball player bring a rope to the game?

Because he wanted to tie the score!
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In what school do you learn how to greet people?

Hi school.
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