Which runs faster, hot or cold water?

Hot, because you can catch cold.
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Two aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married.

The ceremony was rubbish - but the reception was brilliant.

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What do you call a calf after it's six months old?

Seven months old.
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What is the opposite of a restaurant?

A workaraunt.
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How many nuclear engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to install the new bulb and six to figure out what to do with the old one for the next 10,000 years.
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What did the man on the beach say to Michael Jackson?

Get out of my sun!
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How can you tell when a lawyer is lying?

Their lips are moving.
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Why does Trump love the poorly educated?

Because they only know their ABCs "Anybody But Clinton".
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How does Donald Trump intend to spice up the Republican Convention?

By relocating it to a casino!
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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