Which runs faster, hot or cold water?

Hot, because you can catch cold.
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What do you call a girl with a frog on her head?

Lilly.
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What did the sardine call the submarine?

A can of people.
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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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What's brown and looks really good on a lawyer?

A Doberman.
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What do you call a pig who knows karate?

Porkchop
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What does a witch use to keep her hair up?

Scarespray!
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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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What washes up on small beaches?

Microwaves.
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What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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