Which runs faster, hot or cold water?

Hot, because you can catch cold.
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What airline does Donald Trump aspire to fly?

Hair Force One!
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How many lawyers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Three, One to climb the ladder. One to shake it. And one to sue the ladder company.
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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Who makes dinosaur clothes?

A dino-sewer.
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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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Why is the French horn the most divine instrument?

Man blows into it, but God only knows what comes out

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How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.
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What's the difference between a vacuum cleaner and a lawyer on a motorcycle?

The vacuum cleaner has the dirt bag on the inside.
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You see my next-door neighbour worships exhaust pipes,

he's a catholic converter.


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