Which runs faster, hot or cold water?

Hot, because you can catch cold.
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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What did the peanut say to the walnut?

Nothing. Nuts can't talk.
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What do you call a pig that's been arrested for dangerous driving?

A road hog.
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What do you call a crate of ducks?

A box of quackers.
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How does an Eskimo stick his house together?

With igloo!
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Why was the sand wet?

Because the sea weed
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How many Bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb??

What's a light bulb?
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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How do they serve smart hamburgers?

On honor rolls.
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