Which runs faster, hot or cold water?

Hot, because you can catch cold.
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What is the opposite of a restaurant?

A workaraunt.
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What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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How do we know the Indians were the first people in North America?

They had reservations.
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Why did the man take a pencil to bed?

Because he wanted to draw the curtains!
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What kind of cat should you never play games with?

A cheetah
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What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?

A chili dog on a bun.
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Why are Muslims worried about Trumps immigration plans?

Once you deport Juan you deport Jamal.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He made an illegal ewe turn.
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Went to the paper shop -

it had blown away.
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