Which runs faster, hot or cold water?

Hot, because you can catch cold.
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What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.
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Humpty Trumpty wants a great wall.

Humpty Trumpty wants Mexico to pay for it all.
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What is the difference between a guitarist and a Savings Bond?

Eventually a Savings Bond will mature and earn money!

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How do Vikings send secret messages?

Norse code.
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Why do pandas like old movies?

Because they are black and white.
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Why did the lamb cross the road?

To get to the baaaaarber shop
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?

coz Donald ducked
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What do you give a pig with a rash?

Oinkment.
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