Which runs faster, hot or cold water?

Hot, because you can catch cold.
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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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My pastor, he ate too many beans.

He had in his own pews.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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Why did the boy take a ladder to school?

He wanted to go to high school!
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How many French Horn players does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he/she will spend hours checking for technical problems.
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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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What do you call a deer with no eyes?

No I deer
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How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.
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