Which runs faster, hot or cold water?

Hot, because you can catch cold.
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How many subscribers to AOL does it take to change a light bulb?

What? You can change light bulbs?
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What's worse than a worm in your apple?

Half a worm.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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What is Claustrophobia?

The fear of Santa Claus.
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What nails do carpenters hate to hit?

Fingernails.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish
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What do you call a bruise on a T-Rex?

A dino-sore
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