Which runs faster, hot or cold water?

Hot, because you can catch cold.
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How many database people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: one to write the light bulb removal program, one to write the light bulb insertion program, and one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
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PMS jokes are not funny...

[Period]
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So the Pillsbury Doughboy's pants fell off and I..

feel really weird about donuts right now.
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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Why do ghosts make good cheerleaders?

Because they have a lot of spirit.
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How many Yuppies (WASPs) does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call the electrician, and one to mix the drinks.
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Why did the Blonde stare at the Orange Juice carton?

Because it said CONCENTRATE.
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When Susan's boyfriend proposed marriage to her she said: "I love the simple things in life,

but I don't want one of them for my husband".

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What is Donald Trumps biggest dilemma now that he's president?

Finding a cabinet position for the thing on his head!
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