Which runs faster, hot or cold water?

Hot, because you can catch cold.
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What did the man on the beach say to Michael Jackson?

Get out of my sun!
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Why are babies good at soccer?

Because they dribble!
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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish
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How many archaeologists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One team, but they'll label every piece of the old one, mark its location in the room, and write a detailed description before determining that it was used to store cornmeal.
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Why are there fences around a graveyard?

Because people are dying to get in!
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What's the difference between a piano and a tuna?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna

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How many assholes does it take to change a light bulb?

None; assholes never see the light anyway.
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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What room does a ghost not need?

A living room!
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