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Which runs faster, hot or cold water?
Hot, because you can catch cold.
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What did the pencil say to the paper?
I dot my i's on you!
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Trump: "Foreign Policy?,
if you mess with the United States, there will be hell toupee."
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What do you get when you cross a Cocker Spaniel,
a Poodle and a ghost?
A cocker poodle boo.
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What is black when clean, and white when dirty?
A blackboard.
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What do you call a fat pumpkin?
A plumpkin.
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What do you do when your chair breaks?
Call a chairman.
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Which candles burn longer, bee's wax or tallow?
Neither, they all burn shorter.
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There's a fine line between a numerator and denominator.
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What is the best thing to do if you find a gorilla in your bed?
Sleep somewhere else.
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