Which runs faster, hot or cold water?

Hot, because you can catch cold.
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What has four wheels and flies?

A garbage truck.
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How many Yuppies (WASPs) does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call the electrician, and one to mix the drinks.
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What goes under your feet and over your head?

A jump rope.
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I backed a horse last week at ten to one.

It came in at quarter past four.

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Why can't you compare Donald Trump to cancer?

Because sometimes you can get rid of cancer.
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What's the tallest building in the world?

The library, because it has the most stories.
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What do ghosts eat for supper?

Spooketi
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What do you give a sick bird?

Tweetment.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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