Which runs faster, hot or cold water?

Hot, because you can catch cold.
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon
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What is a cat's favorite breakfast?

Mice krispies
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What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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I said to this train driver "I want to go to Paris". He said "Eurostar?"

I said, "I've been on telly but I'm no Dean Martin".
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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What is the easiest way to count a herd of cattle?

With a cowculator.
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H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?

Drinking.
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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