Which runs faster, hot or cold water?

Hot, because you can catch cold.
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What's a frog's favorite drink?

Croak-a-cola.
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How many bass clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?

All of them
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How do you tell you're kissing a french horn player?

He/She keeps trying to stick their fist up your butt.

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PMS jokes are not funny...

[Period]
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.
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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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When does New Year's Day come before Christmas Day?

Every year!
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Customer: "Do you have alligator shoes?"

Clerk: "Yes, sir. What size does your alligator wear?"
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