Which runs faster, hot or cold water?

Hot, because you can catch cold.
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How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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What's worse than a worm in your apple?

Half a worm.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a liar?

The pronunciation.
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How are doughnuts and golf alike?

They both have a hole in one!
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How many Einsteins does it take to change a light bulb?

That depends on the speed of the change and the mass of the bulb. Or vice versa, of course. It just might be easier to leave the bulb and change the room. It's all relative.
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How do you know when the moon has enough to eat?

When it's full.
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What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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