Which runs faster, hot or cold water?

Hot, because you can catch cold.
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What did the pencil say to the paper?

I dot my i's on you!
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Trump: "Foreign Policy?,

if you mess with the United States, there will be hell toupee."

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What do you get when you cross a Cocker Spaniel,
a Poodle and a ghost?

A cocker poodle boo.
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What is black when clean, and white when dirty?

A blackboard.
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What do you call a fat pumpkin?

A plumpkin.
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What do you do when your chair breaks?

Call a chairman.
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Which candles burn longer, bee's wax or tallow?

Neither, they all burn shorter.
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There's a fine line between a numerator and denominator.

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What is the best thing to do if you find a gorilla in your bed?

Sleep somewhere else.
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