Which runs faster, hot or cold water?

Hot, because you can catch cold.
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How many engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

First they have to agree on which is better; the analog bulb or a digital bulb.
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What do you call the king of vegetables?

Elvis Parsley.
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When is a car not a car?

When it turns into a garage.
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Why did the pianist keep banging his head against the keys?

He was playing by ear

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What do a baker and a millionaire have in common?

They are both rolling in the dough!
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What do you call a belt made out of watches?

A waist of time!
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What do you call an exploding monkey?

A baboom
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What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?

A chili dog on a bun.
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You see my next-door neighbour worships exhaust pipes,

he's a catholic converter.


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