Which runs faster, hot or cold water?

Hot, because you can catch cold.
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What pine has the longest needles?

A porcupine.
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Why did God make snakes just before lawyers?

To practice.
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What do you call a Disney Princess that supports Donald Trump?

Snow White Supremacist.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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What do you call 25 attorneys buried up to their chins in cement?

Not enough cement.
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What is Donald Trump telling all his supporters?


Orange Is The New Black.
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What does new age music sound like played backwards?

New age music.

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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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How did the butcher introduce his wife?

Meet Patty.
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