Which runs faster, hot or cold water?

Hot, because you can catch cold.
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What do you get if you enroll in a liberal arts program and the only subject you do well in is music?

A natural major.
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What is a spaceman's favorite chocolate?

A marsbar!
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How many shaggy dogs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Fewer than it takes to screw in a heavy bulb.
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What element is derived from a Norse god?

Thorium.
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I rang up British Telecom, I said, "I want to report a nuisance caller",

he said "Not you again".

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How does an Eskimo stick his house together?

With igloo!
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What kind of dessert does a ghost like?

I scream!
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Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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Which reindeer likes to clean?

Comet
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