Which runs faster, hot or cold water?

Hot, because you can catch cold.
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I just watched a program about beavers.

It was the best dam program I've ever seen.
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.' The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal.

Her husband responds, "But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."

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What does Santa like to do in the garden?

Hoe, hoe, hoe!
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What is the definition of a shame (as in "that's a shame")?

When a busload of lawyers goes off a cliff.
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How Many lead guitarist does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just steal somebody else's light.
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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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What does new age music sound like played backwards?

New age music.

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Two aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married.

The ceremony was rubbish - but the reception was brilliant.

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