Which runs faster, hot or cold water?

Hot, because you can catch cold.
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What do you call a fish without an eye?

Fsh
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How many sound engineers does it take to change a light bulb

None, sound engineers don't do lights
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How many Microsoft executives does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Bill Gates will just redefine Darkness® as the industry standard.
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If H20 is water, what is H204?

Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
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What did rural America tell Donald Trump?

You're Hired.
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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How many (Generals/Politicians) does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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What did Michael Jackson say to Woody Allen?

Got two fives for a ten?
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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