Which runs faster, hot or cold water?

Hot, because you can catch cold.
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Why was the cat afraid of a tree?

Because of the bark
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Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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How many hardware engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Any changes will have to be implemented in software.
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Now that Macy's has severed ties, with Donald Trump, how can the average American look like the President?

By hunting and killing their own hair piece.
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How many skunks does it take to make a big stink?

A phew.
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What has a lot of keys but can not open any doors?

A piano.
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What did the laywer name his daughter?

Sue.
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What kind of shoes do bannanas make?

Slippers!
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How does a pig go to hospital?

In a hambulance.
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