Which runs faster, hot or cold water?

Hot, because you can catch cold.
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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Why are babies good at soccer?

Because they dribble!
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What do clarinetists use for birth control?

Their personalities.

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Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.
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Why do some people have an instant aversion to banjo players?

It saves time in the long run.

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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer?

An offer you can't understand
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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