Which runs faster, hot or cold water?

Hot, because you can catch cold.
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What do you get if Bach falls off a horse but has the courage to get on again and continue riding?

Bach in the saddle again.

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What do you call a scared train?

A fright train!
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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What can you put in a barrel to make it lighter?

Holes.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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What do you call a 400-pound gorilla?

Sir.
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What did the one penny say to the other penny?

We make perfect cents.
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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?

He didn't have any guts!
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How many cats does it takes to screw in a light bulb?

You can throw away your light bulbs. Just douse the cat with gasoline, light it up with a match, and you'll have all the light you need. (Comment: BLEAH!)
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