Which runs faster, hot or cold water?

Hot, because you can catch cold.
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What's the definition of a minor second?

Two flutes playing in unison.

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The other day I sent my girlfriend a huge pile of snow.

I rang her up, I said "Did you get my drift?".
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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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What do you call two ants that run away to get married?

Ant-elopes!
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A man walks into a bar with a roll of tarmac under his arm and says:

"Pint please, and one for the road."

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Whats the difference between a cat and a compound sentence?

One has claws at the end of its paws and one has a pause at the end of its clause
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What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?

There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
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Why was the mouse afraid of the water?

Catfish
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What is a frog's favorite year?

Leap Year
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