Which runs faster, hot or cold water?

Hot, because you can catch cold.
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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What is up in the air and wobbles?

A jellycopter
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Why is the French horn the most divine instrument?

Man blows into it, but God only knows what comes out

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What do you call a scared train?

A fright train!
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What is black when clean, and white when dirty?

A blackboard.
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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How many UFO buffs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. You don't believe me do you? I've got photos! See that big blob? Well, just squint your eyes a bit. . . .
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What's the first thing a musician says at work?

"Would you like fries with that?"

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