Which runs faster, hot or cold water?

Hot, because you can catch cold.
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Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase.

I can hardly contain myself.

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What is the chemical formula for "banana"?

BaNa2
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Why did the singer climb a ladder?

She wanted to reach the high notes!

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How many managers does it take to change a light bulb?

Nearly unanswerable, since the one who tries to change it usually drops it, and the others call for a planning session.
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Why does cheese look sane?

Because everything else on the plate is crackers.
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What kind of cats like to go bowling?

Alley cats.
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How do you stop a dog barking in the back seat of a car?

Put him in the front seat.
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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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