Which runs faster, hot or cold water?

Hot, because you can catch cold.
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What kind of motorcycle does Santa ride?

Holly Davidson.
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How did the butcher introduce his wife?

Meet Patty.
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How many Anglicans does it take to change a lightbulb?

A whole synod. One to move that the bulb be changed while the others debate until the room spins.
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What do sea monsters eat for lunch?

Fish and ships.
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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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What do a viola and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is happy when the case is closed

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If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?

H2O cubed.
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What bone will a dog never eat?

A trombone.
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How can you tell is a singer is at your door?

They can't find the key, and they never know when to come in.
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