Which runs faster, hot or cold water?

Hot, because you can catch cold.
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Now that Macy's has severed ties, with Donald Trump, how can the average American look like the President?

By hunting and killing their own hair piece.
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Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly. But when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank,

proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it.

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How many bass clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?

All of them
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What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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Where do you learn to make banana splits?

In sundae school.
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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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Why is a skeleton so mean?

He doesn't have a heart.
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