Which runs faster, hot or cold water?

Hot, because you can catch cold.
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What is Donald Trumps favorite song?

ICE ICE Baby......
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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck
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How many archaeologists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One team, but they'll label every piece of the old one, mark its location in the room, and write a detailed description before determining that it was used to store cornmeal.
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Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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What did the octopus say to his girlfriend when he proposed?

Can I have your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage?
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What do you call a scared train?

A fright train!
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What can you put in a barrel to make it lighter?

Holes.
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Why are the middle ages sometimes called the Dark Ages?

Because they had so many knights.
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Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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