Which runs faster, hot or cold water?

Hot, because you can catch cold.
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My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well,

I was amazed, I never knew they worked.

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How many fundamentalists does it take to change a light bulb?

None; the Bible doesn't mention any light bulbs.
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Who says sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me?

A guy who has never been hit with a dictionary.
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What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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How many singers from Nashville does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change it, one to sing about how heartbroken he is at the loss of the old one, one to sing about how madly in love he is with the new one, and one to go "Yee-Hah!" and throw his cowboy hat in the air.
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How can you tell when a lawyer is lying?

Their lips are moving.
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How many Feminists does it take to change a light bulb?

That's not funny!!!
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What do you call a slow skier?

A slopepoke!
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Where do horses live?

In the neigh-borhood.
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