Which search engine is popular amongst mice?

Ask Cheese.
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What room does a ghost not need?

A living room!
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How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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Where does Friday come before Monday?

In the dictionary.
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Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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What do you get when you plant a frog?

A cr-oak tree.
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Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK.
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How many alumnae of (sorority name) does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change it and one to act as chaperone.
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