Which search engine is popular amongst mice?

Ask Cheese.
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What is the best thing to do if you find a gorilla in your bed?

Sleep somewhere else.
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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What is a shark's favorite sandwich?

Peanut butter and jellyfish.
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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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What's the definition of perfect pitch?

When you toss a banjo in the garbage and it hits an accordion.

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Why did the spy stay in bed?

Because he was under cover.
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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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