Which search engine is popular amongst mice?

Ask Cheese.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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What is the difference between a guitarist and a Savings Bond?

Eventually a Savings Bond will mature and earn money!

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If a long dress is evening wear, what is a suit of armor?

Silverware.
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Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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What do you call a public servant who doesn't take crap from Republicans or Democrats?

Donald Trump.
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What do you call a cat sitting on the beach on Christmas Eve?

Sandy Claws.
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How many agnostics does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Agnostics question whether electricity really exists.
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How many 2nd AD's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Uh...standby, I'll check on that.
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