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Which search engine is popular amongst mice?
Ask Cheese.
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Why is Donald Trump always seen with Melania?
Because all his other wives support Hillary.
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"I said to the Gym instructor "Can you teach me to do the splits?" He said, "How flexible are you?"
I said, "I can't make Tuesdays"
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What did one hair say to the other?
It takes two to tangle!
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.
When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.
It's Hans free.
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What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?
OH SNaP!
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What do you get if you cross an insect with the Easter rabbit?
Bugs Bunny.
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What time is it when an elephant sits on your bed?
Time to get a new bed
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".
I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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