Which search engine is popular amongst mice?

Ask Cheese.
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What do you call a smiling, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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Why doesn't Donald Trump sweat like Marco Rubio?

Because he has such yuuuuge fans!
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech?

After you die, a leech stops sucking your blood.
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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Do you know how many musicians it takes to change a light bulb?

No, but hum a few bars and I'll fake it.
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Why does Trump love the poorly educated?

Because they only know their ABCs "Anybody But Clinton".
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What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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