Which search engine is popular amongst mice?

Ask Cheese.
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Why did the elephant leave the circus?

He was tired of working for peanuts.
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How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
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How many Jewish renewal rabbis does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends. One, if it's an eco-kosher bulb that isn't going to be lit by electricity generated from nuclear power. Two, as long as a man and a woman rabbi have equal turns putting in the bulb. Three, one to change it, one to do a Buddhist mindfulness practice during the change, and one to document the paradigm shift in a best-selling book called The Jew in the Lightbulb. Four, same as above plus an additional rabbi to study the psycho-halachic implications of such a change and then lead a retreat weekend on the experience.
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What is a cat's favorite breakfast?

Mice krispies
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Why did the student eat her homework?

Because the teacher said it was a piece of cake!
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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How do you make a hot dog stand?

Steal its chair.
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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What was the farmer doing on the other side of the road?

He was catching all the chickens!
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