Which search engine is popular amongst mice?

Ask Cheese.
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What happened when the butcher backed up into his meat grinder?

he got a little behind in his work.
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What do you call a snowman in the desert?

A puddle!
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Why don't lawyers go to the beach?

Cats keep trying to bury them.
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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How many astronomers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Astronomers prefer the dark.
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How do you make a band stand?

Take their chairs away!
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