Which search engine is popular amongst mice?

Ask Cheese.
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What's the definition of perfect pitch?

When you toss a banjo in the garbage and it hits an accordion.

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Can you use pink,yellow and green in a sentence?

. The phone went green green, and I pinked it up and said yellow.
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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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Do you know how many musicians it takes to change a light bulb?

No, but hum a few bars and I'll fake it.
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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Why did the spy stay in bed?

Because he was under cover.
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What happened when the lion ate the comedian?

He felt funny.
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What's worse than a worm in your apple?

Half a worm.
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So I met this gangster who pulls up the back of people's pants,

it was Wedgie Kray.

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