Which search engine is popular amongst mice?

Ask Cheese.
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What is a shark's favorite sandwich?

Peanut butter and jellyfish.
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How many dadaists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

To get to the other side.
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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What do you call a parrot that flew away?

A polygon
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How many cops does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. It turned itself in.
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How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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How did the butcher introduce his wife?

Meet Patty.
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