Which search engine is popular amongst mice?

Ask Cheese.
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A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."

The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."
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How do you wake up Lady Gaga?

You Poke her face.

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When did the fly fly?

When the spider spied her!
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What kind of band can't play music?

A rubber band.
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If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?

H2O cubed.
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How many gorillas does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it sure takes a shitload of light bulbs!
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How many IBM engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just let Marketing explain that "Dead Bulb" is a feature.
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What did the snail say when he got on the turtle's shell?

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
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What do clarinetists use for birth control?

Their personalities.

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