Which search engine is popular amongst mice?

Ask Cheese.
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Where do mice park their boats?

At the hickory dickory dock.
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I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with

but I've been trippin' all day.
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What do you do when your chair breaks?

Call a chairman.
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How many junkies does it take to screw in a light bulb?

``Oh wow, is it like dark, man?''
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Does it take longer to run from 1st base to 2nd, or from 2nd to 3rd?

From 2nd to 3rd because there's a shortstop in the middle.
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What 7 letters did Lizzy say when she opened the refrigerator and found it empty?

O I C U R M T
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What kind of fly has a frog in its throat?

A hoarse fly!
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How many IBM engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just let Marketing explain that "Dead Bulb" is a feature.
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What do you call a snarky criminal going down the stairs?

[A Condesending con descending]
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