Which search engine is popular amongst mice?

Ask Cheese.
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How many fatalists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What does it matter? we're all gonna die anyway.
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What kind of pants do ghosts wear?

Boo-Jeans.
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What did Cinderella say to the photographer?

Some day my prints will come.
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That girl said she knew me from the vegitarian club,

but I'd never seen herbivore [her before]
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Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks.

They charged one - and let the other one off.

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What do lawyers wear in court?

Lawsuits.
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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Why doesn't Donald Trump sweat like Marco Rubio?

Because he has such yuuuuge fans!
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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