Which search engine is popular amongst mice?

Ask Cheese.
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Where do ghosts buy their food?

At the ghost-ery store!
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How many UNIX hacks does it take to change a light bulb?

As many as you want; they're all virtual anyway.
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H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?

Drinking.
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Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?

coz Donald ducked
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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How do you know an elephant has been in your refrigerator?

There are footprints in the butter.
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Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why don't you swerve to hit him?

It might be your bicycle.
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