Which search engine is popular amongst mice?

Ask Cheese.
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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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What do you call a pig that's been arrested for dangerous driving?

A road hog.
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What do you call a young army?

Infantry.
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Why did the melon jump into the lake?

It wanted to be a watermelon.
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How many lesbians does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: One to screw it in, and two to talk about how much better it is than with a man.
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Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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Where do ghosts buy their food?

At the ghost-ery store!
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What's worse than a worm in your apple?

Half a worm.
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