Which search engine is popular amongst mice?

Ask Cheese.
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What do you call a cow that's just given birth?

[De-Calf-Inated]
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Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?

He was board.
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Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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What do you do if your cat swallows your pencil?

Use a pen.
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What do you call a bankrupt Santa?

Saint Nickel-less.
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What do fish take to stay healthy?

Vitamin sea.
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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What is the definition of a "crying shame"?

There was an empty seat.
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