Which search engine is popular amongst mice?

Ask Cheese.
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Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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What goes up and down but never moves?

Stairs.
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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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What goes 99 thump,99 thump,99 thump?

A centipede with a wooden leg.
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Why did the chicken cross the road, roll in mud, then cross the road again?

He was a dirty double crosser!
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What is the difference between a lawyer and a rooster?

When a rooster wakes up in the morning, its primal urge is to cluck defiance.
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I went to the doctors the other day and I said, 'Have you got anything for wind?'

So he gave me a kite.

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