Which search engine is popular amongst mice?

Ask Cheese.
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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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So I was on a train with Einstein and he turns to me and asks...

Does Boston stop at this train?
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Why are there fences around a graveyard?

Because people are dying to get in!
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There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest.. He sent in ten different puns, in the hope that at least one of the puns would win.

Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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Have you seen the new HGTV show about the Whitehouse makeover?

It's called "Trump It or Dump It".
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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Trump: "It's not a toupee,

I just found the Bush that Jeb lost."
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