Which search engine is popular amongst mice?

Ask Cheese.
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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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What did the peanut say to the walnut?

Nothing. Nuts can't talk.
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Why are elephants wrinkled?

Because they don't fit on a ironing board
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How many Zen masters does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A tree in a golden forest.
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What's the difference between a jellyfish and a lawyer?

One's a spineless, poisonous blob. The other is a form of sea life.
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What is green and pecks on trees?

Woody the Wood Pickle.
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Where do orcas hear music?

Orca-stras
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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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How many UFO buffs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. You don't believe me do you? I've got photos! See that big blob? Well, just squint your eyes a bit. . . .
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