Which search engine is popular amongst mice?

Ask Cheese.
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Why should you never tell a secret in a corn field?

Because there are too many ears.
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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What is green and pecks on trees?

Woody the Wood Pickle.
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I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.

It's a total rip-off.
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How is Donald Trump going to create middle class jobs?

By paying them to cheer for him during campaign events.
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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What's an alligator's favorite drink?

Gator-Ade.
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Who can hold up a bus with one hand?

A crossing guard.
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