Which search engine is popular amongst mice?

Ask Cheese.
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How many junkies does it take to screw in a light bulb?

``Oh wow, is it like dark, man?''
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What do you call a pig that's been arrested for dangerous driving?

A road hog.
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Why did God make snakes just before lawyers?

To practice.
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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs
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How many TV comedians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to say "Sock it to Me." (Notes: Sock it = Socket. Also, for the infant readers among you, this was a popular catch-phrase from "Laugh In.")
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Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?

He was board.
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What does Santa like to do in the garden?

Hoe, hoe, hoe!
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Why did the spy stay in bed?

Because he was under cover.
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What do Michael Jackson and Malt Whiskey have in common?

They both come in tots.
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