Which search engine is popular amongst mice?

Ask Cheese.
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away his credit card
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What has a head but no body?

A nail.
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How do you tell you're kissing a french horn player?

He/She keeps trying to stick their fist up your butt.

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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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What is the strongest animal?

A snail because it carries it's home.
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How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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