Which search engine is popular amongst mice?

Ask Cheese.
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Why did the cookie go to the Doctor?

Because he was feeling crumby.
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What does the toast wear to bed?

Jammies!
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Where do soldiers keep their armies?

In their Sleevies!
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How many Bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb??

What's a light bulb?
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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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What goes tick-tock, bow-wow, tick-tock, bow-wow?

A watch dog.
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What's the first thing a musician says at work?

"Would you like fries with that?"

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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.
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