Which search engine is popular amongst mice?

Ask Cheese.
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Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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How do you know an elephant has been in your refrigerator?

There are footprints in the butter.
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Whats Donald Trump's favorite nation?

Discrimination.
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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What do an accordion and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is relieved when the case is closed.

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What is "HIJKLMNO"?

H2O.
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How do you catch a squirrel?

Climb up a tree and act like a nut
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