Who can hold up a bus with one hand?

A crossing guard.
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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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Why are there fences around a graveyard?

Because people are dying to get in!
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If H20 is water, what is H204?

Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball?

Because he had no BODY to go with.
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What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?

HeHe
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How do you know when the moon has enough to eat?

When it's full.
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What do you call a dinosaur at the rodeo?

A Broncosaurus or a Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck
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