Who can hold up a bus with one hand?

A crossing guard.
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How do you know when the moon has enough to eat?

When it's full.
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Where did the sheep go on vacation?

The baaaahamas
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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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What happened when the monster ate the electric company?

He was in shock for a week.
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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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How many PA' does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What's a light bulb?
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A man walks into a bar with a roll of tarmac under his arm and says:

"Pint please, and one for the road."

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How many law professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Hell, you need 250 just to lobby for the research grant.
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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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