Who can hold up a bus with one hand?

A crossing guard.
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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Which is the most religious cheese?

Emmental...it's very hol(e)y...
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I went to the Doctors the other day, and he said, 'Go to Bournemouth, it's great for flu'.

So I went - and I got it.
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What music does cheese listen to?

R & Brie.
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What do frogs order when they go to a restaurant?

French Flies.
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Did you know that oxygen went for a second date with potassium?
How did it go?

It went OK2!
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What do you get when you cross a witch with sand?

A sandwich!
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How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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A pair of eyebrows walked into a shop. The assistant asked, "Can I help you?"

The eyebrows replied, "no, we are just browsing"
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