Who can hold up a bus with one hand?

A crossing guard.
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What do you call a pig that does karate?

A pork chop.
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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What has one horn and gives milk?

A milk truck.
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What do you get if you enroll in a liberal arts program and the only subject you do well in is music?

A natural major.
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What has four legs, a trunk, and sunglasses?

A mouse on vacation.
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What's the difference between in-laws and outlaws?

Outlaws are wanted.
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How do you make Halloween great again?

By carving a Trumpkin.
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How many IBM engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just let Marketing explain that "Dead Bulb" is a feature.
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What do you call a loony spaceman?

An astronut.
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