Who can hold up a bus with one hand?

A crossing guard.
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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What did the rug say to the floor?

Don't move, I've got you covered.
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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How many anarchists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

All of them.
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What is black when clean, and white when dirty?

A blackboard.
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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How many freelance biotechnologists does it take to change a light bulb?

One; she designs the bulb to crawl up the wall, unscrew the old one, and screw itself in.
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How many Feminists does it take to change a light bulb?

That's not funny!!!
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