Who can hold up a bus with one hand?

A crossing guard.

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Why did the sun go to school?

To get brighter!

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What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?

2 Na
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Why are babies good at soccer?

Because they dribble!
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Why did the banana go to the hospital?

Because he wasn't peeling well!

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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.

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What did the mother broom say to the baby broom?

It's time to go to sweep.

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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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