Who can hold up a bus with one hand?

A crossing guard.
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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When is a car not a car?

When it turns into a garage.
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In what school do you learn how to greet people?

Hi school.
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Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?

He got Avogadro's number!
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What did the alien say to the garden?

Take me to your weeder!
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What's green and loud?

A froghorn.
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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Well, first let's talk about the concept behind this whole "light bulb" thing.
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What do you call a deer with no eyes?

No I deer
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A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"

The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".
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