Who can hold up a bus with one hand?

A crossing guard.
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What do you give a pig with a rash?

Oinkment.
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If H20 is water, what is H204?

Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
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Sherlock, what are you doing with that 200lbs shrub?

It's not a shrub, it's a lemon tree my dear Watson.
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What's an alligator's favorite drink?

Gator-Ade.
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Why don't honest people need beds?

They don't lie.
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What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?

A spelling bee!
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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What is a lion's favorite state?

Maine
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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