Who did Frankenstein take to the dance?

His "ghoul" friend!
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Why did the baseball player bring a rope to the game?

Because he wanted to tie the score!
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What two things can you not have for breakfast?

Lunch and dinner.
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What happens when you play Beethoven backwards?

He decomposes.

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What makes music on your hair?

A head band!

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I swear, the other day I bought a packet of peanuts, and on the packet it said "may contain nuts." Well, YES! That's what I bought the buggers for!

You'd be annoyed if you opened it and a socket set fell out!"

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A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar.

The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"
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What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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