Who did Frankenstein take to the dance?

His "ghoul" friend!
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What can you hold without ever touching it?

A conversation.

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How many "pro-lifers" does it take to change a light bulb?

Six: two to screw in the bulb and four to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
None; the bulb will change itself when it is ready.

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What do you call the best butter on the farm?

A goat.

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What do you call a pig that's been arrested for dangerous driving?

A road hog.

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I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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Why did the computer squeak?

Someone stepped on its mouse.
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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Where do orcas hear music?

Orca-stras

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