Who did Frankenstein take to the dance?

His "ghoul" friend!
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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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How many Microsoft executives does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Bill Gates will just redefine Darkness® as the industry standard.
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What did the calculator say to the math student?

You can count on me!
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What kind of band can't play music?

A rubber band.
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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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What goes around a haunted house and never stops?

A fence.
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Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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