Who did Frankenstein take to the dance?

His "ghoul" friend!
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What's the difference between Donald Trump and Ronald Reagan?

If Trump gets Alzheimers his IQ will go up.
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How many conservatives does it take to change a light bulb?

One; after reflecting in the twilight on the merit of the previous bulb.
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What airline does Donald Trump aspire to fly?

Hair Force One!
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How many lawyers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Three, One to climb the ladder. One to shake it. And one to sue the ladder company.
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What do you do if your cat swallows your pencil?

Use a pen.
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I just watched a program about beavers.

It was the best dam program I've ever seen.
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Customer: "Do you have alligator shoes?"

Clerk: "Yes, sir. What size does your alligator wear?"
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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