Who did Frankenstein take to the dance?

His "ghoul" friend!
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline?

You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline.
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How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
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Why can't Donald Trump be a Lannister?

Because he never pays his debts.
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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".
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How do you make a band stand?

Take their chairs away!
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A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off.

"because," he said "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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