Who did Frankenstein take to the dance?

His "ghoul" friend!
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What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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What can you put in a barrel to make it lighter?

Holes.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish
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What is the difference between a locomotive engineer and a teacher?

One minds the train, one trains the mind.
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What do envelopes say when you lick them?

Nothing, it shuts them up!
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What is on the ground and also a hundred feet in the air?

A centipede on its back!
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What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?

A pair of Re-Bachs.

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