Who did Frankenstein take to the dance?

His "ghoul" friend!
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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So the Pillsbury Doughboy's pants fell off and I..

feel really weird about donuts right now.
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What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?

A brick layer!
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Do you know how many musicians it takes to change a light bulb?

No, but hum a few bars and I'll fake it.
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Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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What's black and white and red all over?

A newspaper!
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What do you call a bankrupt Santa?

Saint Nickel-less.
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