Who did Frankenstein take to the dance?

His "ghoul" friend!
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What's the one thing that never works when it's fixed?

A jury.

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How many Iraqis does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It doesn't matter, they don't have any electricity any more.

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech?

After you die, a leech stops sucking your blood.
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How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. No, two. No... How many do we have on the truck?

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How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.

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Now that Macy's has severed ties, with Donald Trump, how can the average American look like the President?

By hunting and killing their own hair piece.
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What do you call a baby bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear

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What is the difference between a clarinet and an onion?

Nobody cries when you chop an clarinet into little pieces

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