Who did Frankenstein take to the dance?

His "ghoul" friend!
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Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon?

Great food, no atmosphere.
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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?

H2O cubed.
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How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.

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How many 2nd AD's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Uh...standby, I'll check on that.

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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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How many Yuppies (WASPs) does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call the electrician, and one to mix the drinks.
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A pair of eyebrows walked into a shop. The assistant asked, "Can I help you?"

The eyebrows replied, "no, we are just browsing"
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