Who did Frankenstein take to the dance?

His "ghoul" friend!
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Who's richer — the butcher, the baker, or the candlestick maker?

The baker, because he has lots of dough.
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Whats Donald Trump's favorite nation?

Discrimination.
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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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How do you catch a tame bird?

The tame way, unique up on it!
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How many Italians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

I dunno exactly, but my brother's girlfriend's father's boss's secretary's sister's next-door neighbors' priest's cousin's union shop steward's uncle's Knights Of Columbus club Sergeant-of-Arms's nephew's best friend did it real cheap for me once.
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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What's the difference between a tuba and a vacumn cleaner?

You have to turn one of them on before it sucks.

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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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