Who did Frankenstein take to the dance?

His "ghoul" friend!
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How many socialists does it take to change a light bulb?

One to petition the Ministry of Light for a bulb, 50 to establish the state production quota, 200 militia to force the factory unions to allow production of the bulb, and one to surreptitiously dial an "800" number to order an American light bulb.
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Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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How many French Horn players does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he/she will spend hours checking for technical problems.
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What do you call a gorilla wearing earmuffs?

Anything you like, he can't hear you.
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Why was the math book sad?

It had too many problems.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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What is a cat's favorite movie?

The sound of Mew-sic
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