Who did Frankenstein take to the dance?

His "ghoul" friend!
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Why did the turtle cross the road?

To get to the shell station.
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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How many chiropractors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but it takes six visits.
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What is the opposite of a restaurant?

A workaraunt.
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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Why did the cookie go to the Doctor?

Because he was feeling crumby.
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.
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