Who did Frankenstein take to the dance?

His "ghoul" friend!
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A mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno, dos..." and then

*poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
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What do you call a pig that does karate?

A pork chop.
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What is Donald Trumps campaign slogan?

"A complex world demands complex hair."
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There were 10 cats in a boat and one jumped out. How many were left?

None, because they were copycats
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What is Claustrophobia?

The fear of Santa Claus.
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How many Bell Labs vice presidents does it take to change a light bulb?

That's proprietary information. The answer is available from AT&T on payment of license fee (binary only).
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What does one bucket say to the other?

I am feeling pale today.
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I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase.

I can hardly contain myself.

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