Who did Frankenstein take to the dance?

His "ghoul" friend!
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck
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Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"

The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
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What did one egg say to the other egg?

Let's get crackin'!
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Who says sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me?

A guy who has never been hit with a dictionary.
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How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They have machines to do that now.
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Why did the calendar write its will?

Its days were numbered.
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