Who earns a living by driving his customers away?

A taxi driver.
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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What do you call a cow in a tornado?

A milkshake
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How many Union Lighting Technicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It's not a bulb, it's a globe.
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What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?

A chili dog on a bun.
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Did you know that oxygen went for a second date with potassium?
How did it go?

It went OK2!
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How many sound engineers does it take to change a light bulb

None, sound engineers don't do lights
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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What's black and white, black and white, black and white and green?

Three skunks fighting over a pickle

First dog: My master calls me Furball. How about you?
Second Dog: My master calls me Sitboy
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