Who earns a living by driving his customers away?

A taxi driver.
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What kind of balls do dragons play soccer with?

Fireballs.
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What do you call a young army?

Infantry.
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Where does a polarbear keep its money?

In a snow bank!
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What do basketball players and babies have in common?

They both dribble.
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How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.
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Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
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Why can't a bicycle stand up?

Because it's two tired!
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