Who earns a living by driving his customers away?

A taxi driver.
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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How many televangelists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. Televangelists screw in motels.
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How many BBS jokers does it take to tell yet another LBJ?

1,622. One to tell the original joke, and the rest to submit give some minor variation of it! For example:
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What do whales eat?

Fish and ships.
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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What is a cat's favorite breakfast?

Mice krispies
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What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?

A try and try and try-ceratops
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Why don't aliens celebrate Chistmas?

Because they don't want to give away their presence.
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