Who earns a living by driving his customers away?

A taxi driver.
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Can you use pink,yellow and green in a sentence?

. The phone went green green, and I pinked it up and said yellow.
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer?

An offer you can't understand
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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"

The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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What do you call the security guards outside of Samsung.

The guardians of the galaxy!
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Why did the sun go to school?

To get brighter!
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How do you get a lawyer out of a tree?

Cut the rope.
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