Who earns a living by driving his customers away?

A taxi driver.
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What's the one thing that never works when it's fixed?

A jury.
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What do you call a cow with three legs?

Lean beef.
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How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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Why does a giraffe have such a long neck?

Because his feet stink
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How many fire safety guys dose it take to screw in a light bulb?

One -- but it's an 8 hour minimum.
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What do frogs order when they go to a restaurant?

French Flies.
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What does a witch use to keep her hair up?

Scarespray!
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What do you call a cow in a tornado?

A milkshake
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What did the alien say to the garden?

Take me to your weeder!
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