Who earns a living by driving his customers away?

A taxi driver.
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How do you catch a tame bird?

The tame way, unique up on it!
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What has one horn and gives milk?

A milk truck.
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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What do you get when you cross a roll of wool and a kangaroo?

A woolen jumper
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When Susan's boyfriend proposed marriage to her she said: "I love the simple things in life,

but I don't want one of them for my husband".

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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK.
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What did Jay-z call his wife before they got married?

Feyonce

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