Who earns a living by driving his customers away?

A taxi driver.
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What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?

Wet feet.
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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What do moms dress up as on Halloween?

Mummies!
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Why are babies good at soccer?

Because they dribble!
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Why do ducks fly south?

Because it's too far to walk!
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What's worse than a worm in your apple?

Half a worm.
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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What do you call a dinosaur that smashes everything in its path?

Tyrannosaurus wrecks.
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What do lawyers and sperm have in common?

One in 3,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being.
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