Who earns a living by driving his customers away?

A taxi driver.
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When is a car not a car?

When it turns into a garage.
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What does a cat call a hummingbird?

Fast food.
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How many Yuppies (WASPs) does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call the electrician, and one to mix the drinks.
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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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Why don't aliens celebrate Chistmas?

Because they don't want to give away their presence.
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What do you call a fat pumpkin?

A plumpkin.
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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What 7 letters did Lizzy say when she opened the refrigerator and found it empty?

O I C U R M T
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Why did the people not like the restaurant on the moon?

Because there was no atmosphere.
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