Who earns a living by driving his customers away?

A taxi driver.
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What has four legs and goes "Oom, Oom"?

A cow walking backwards
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What do you call an exploding monkey?

A baboom
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What does a witch use to keep her hair up?

Scarespray!
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Where do orcas hear music?

Orca-stras
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Why did the poultry farmer become a school teacher?

So he could grade his eggs.
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What school do you have to drop out of to graduate from?

Parachute school!
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My first girlfriend was a tennis player but she broke my heart.

It was like love meant nothing to her.
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How many hardware folks does it take to change a light bulb?

None. That's a software problem.
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How do you fix a broken Tuba.

With a tuba glue.
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