Who earns a living by driving his customers away?

A taxi driver.
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How does a mouse feel after it takes a shower?

Squeaky clean
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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What has four legs and goes "Oom, Oom"?

A cow walking backwards
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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What do Michael Jackson and x-boxs have in common?

They're both plastic and little boys turn them on.
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Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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How many times does Bill Clinton change a light bulb?

No one knows. Republicans automatically disbelieve him, and no one can ever trust a stinking liberal anyway.
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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?

He didn't have any guts!
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What does Donald Trump say when he can't find his Viagra?

"The erection is rigged!"
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