Who earns a living by driving his customers away?

A taxi driver.
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What`s black & white & red all over?

An embarrased mime!
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What happened when the lion ate the comedian?

He felt funny.
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What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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Making bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon
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If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?

H2O cubed.
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Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?

It was two tired.
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What do you call a cat sitting on the beach on Christmas Eve?

Sandy Claws.
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Where does Friday come before Monday?

In the dictionary.
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