Who earns a living by driving his customers away?

A taxi driver.
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How do you catch a unique bird?

Unique up on it.
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Why did the Blonde stare at the Orange Juice carton?

Because it said CONCENTRATE.
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Interesting story, the guy who helped me learn algebra never farted around anyone.

I mean he did say he was a private tutor.
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Which is the most religious cheese?

Emmental...it's very hol(e)y...
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What do you call a cow that's just given birth?

[De-Calf-Inated]
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What did the alien say to the garden?

Take me to your weeder!
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Why shouldn't Donald Trump rag on illegal immigrants?

Because an undocumented worker has been living on his head for the past 2 decades!
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If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?

H2O cubed.
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What is a frog's favorite year?

Leap Year
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