Who earns a living by driving his customers away?

A taxi driver.
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How many big black monoliths does it take to change a light bulb?

Sorry, light bulbs are an evolutionary dead end.

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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck

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What can you hold without using your hands?

Your breath!
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How many lawyer jokes are there?

Only three. The rest are true stories.
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What does a cat call a hummingbird?

Fast food.

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How many fire safety guys dose it take to screw in a light bulb?

One -- but it's an 8 hour minimum.

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How many supply-siders does it take to change a light bulb?

None. The darkness will cause the bulb to change by itself.

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How many Union Lighting Technicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It's not a bulb, it's a globe.

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