Who earns a living by driving his customers away?

A taxi driver.
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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've got you covered!
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What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".
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Why was the ant so confused?

Because all his uncles were "ants"!
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How does Donald Trump plan on deporting 12 million illegal immigrants?

Juan by Juan.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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What does GOP stand for?

Grabs Our Pussy.
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Why did the elephant leave the circus?

He was tired of working for peanuts.
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