Who earns a living by driving his customers away?

A taxi driver.
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What do you get when you cross a roll of wool and a kangaroo?

A woolen jumper
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Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?

He got Avogadro's number!
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How does Donald Trump intend to spice up the Republican Convention?

By relocating it to a casino!
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How many shaggy dogs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Fewer than it takes to screw in a heavy bulb.
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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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Why would Snow White make a great judge?

She was the fairest in the land.
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Where do soldiers keep their armies?

In their Sleevies!
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How do you stop a dog barking in the back seat of a car?

Put him in the front seat.
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