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Who earns a living by driving his customers away?
A taxi driver.
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Why did the student eat her homework?
Because the teacher said it was a piece of cake!
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How many Stanford professors does it take to screw in a light bulb?
One to write a paper claiming that light is a pig whitey invention, one to organize a Darkness Studies program, and one hundred to protest the Diablo Canyon Nuclear Generating Station.
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How do you fix a broken Tuba.
With a tuba glue.
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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Two. One to take notes while the other screws it into the faucet.
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Do you know how to save a drowning lawyer?
Take your foot off his head.
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There are 10 kinds of people in the world.
Those who read binary and those who don't.
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When is a car not a car?
When it turns into a garage.
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.
I’m just doing it for kicks.
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What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?
It gave a little wine
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