Who earns a living by driving his customers away?

A taxi driver.
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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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What kind of ties can't you wear?

Railroad ties.
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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Why did the Blonde stare at the Orange Juice carton?

Because it said CONCENTRATE.
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What do you call a bankrupt Santa?

Saint Nickel-less.
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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What is the most important rule in chemistry?

Never lick the spoon!
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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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How do you fix a broken vegetable?

With tomato paste.
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