Who earns a living by driving his customers away?

A taxi driver.
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Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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What is a spaceman's favorite chocolate?

A marsbar!
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Why are Muslims worried about Trumps immigration plans?

Once you deport Juan you deport Jamal.
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There are 10 kinds of people in the world.

Those who read binary and those who don't.
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How many Bell Labs vice presidents does it take to change a light bulb?

That's proprietary information. The answer is available from AT&T on payment of license fee (binary only).
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What do you get when you plant a frog?

A cr-oak tree.
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Why do ghosts make good cheerleaders?

Because they have a lot of spirit.
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What happens when you play Beethoven backwards?

He decomposes.

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What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?

HeHe
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