Who earns a living by driving his customers away?

A taxi driver.
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Why is the French horn the most divine instrument?

Man blows into it, but God only knows what comes out

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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"

The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
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What's green and loud?

A froghorn.
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Why is Superman's costume so tight?

Because he wears a size "S".
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What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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How many professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but they get three tech. reports out of it.
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