Who earns a living by driving his customers away?

A taxi driver.
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What does Santa like to do in the garden?

Hoe, hoe, hoe!
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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What do you call a fairy who doesn't take a bath?

Stinker Bell.
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How do you make an egg laugh?

Tell it a yolk.
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How many fire safety guys dose it take to screw in a light bulb?

One -- but it's an 8 hour minimum.
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Why is it that many lawyers have broken noses?

From chasing parked ambulances.
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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How many brewers does it take to change a light bulb?

About one third less than for a regular bulb.
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What did Michael Jackson say to Woody Allen?

Got two fives for a ten?
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