Who earns a living by driving his customers away?

A taxi driver.
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Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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What do you call a belt made out of watches?

A waist of time!
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What is "HIJKLMNO"?

H2O.
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How are doughnuts and golf alike?

They both have a hole in one!
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
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Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?

coz Donald ducked
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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Where does an elephant pack his luggage?

In his trunk
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