Who earns a living by driving his customers away?

A taxi driver.
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Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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What is a tree's favorite drink?

Root beer.
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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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What's a tree's favorite drink?

Rootbeer.
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Whats Donald Trump's favorite nation?

Discrimination.
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What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?

2 Na
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What do you call a dinosaur at the rodeo?

A Broncosaurus or a Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: "Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!" The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: "The driver just insulted me!"

The man says: "You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you."
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What do you call a fat pumpkin?

A plumpkin.
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