Who earns a living by driving his customers away?

A taxi driver.
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What's the difference between a jellyfish and a lawyer?

One's a spineless, poisonous blob. The other is a form of sea life.
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What do you call a cow with no legs?

Ground beef.
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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How do you stop a dog barking in the back seat of a car?

Put him in the front seat.
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The new band called 1023MB.

They haven't had any gigs yet
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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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How can you get four suits for a dollar?


Buy a deck of cards.
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