Who earns a living by driving his customers away?

A taxi driver.
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How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one more, guys, I promise.
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Why can't Donald Trump be a Lannister?

Because he never pays his debts.
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What is the best thing to do if you find a gorilla in your bed?

Sleep somewhere else.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and God?

God doesn't think he's a lawyer.
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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I just watched a debate as to which cartoons were better- Disney or Warner Bros.

I have to say it got very animated.
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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.
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Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?

It was two tired.
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What kind of dress can't be worn?

Address.
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