Who earns a living by driving his customers away?

A taxi driver.
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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish
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Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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Why don't they know where Mozart is buried?

Because he's Haydn.

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How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They have machines to do that now.
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Why did the poultry farmer become a school teacher?

So he could grade his eggs.
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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There's two fish in a tank, and one says "How do you drive this thing?"
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What did the snail say when he got on the turtle's shell?

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
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How did Ben Franklin feel after discovering electricity?

Shocked.
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