Who earns a living by driving his customers away?

A taxi driver.
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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?

He didn't have any guts!
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How many shaggy dogs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Fewer than it takes to screw in a heavy bulb.
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Do you know what the Queen's father was called?

King.
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What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?

A brick layer!
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What do you give a pig with a rash?

Oinkment.
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How do you handle dangerous cheese?

Caerphilly.
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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What is a spaceman's favorite chocolate?

A marsbar!
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