Who earns a living by driving his customers away?

A taxi driver.
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What does Donald Trump say when he can't find his Viagra?

"The erection is rigged!"
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What did the boat say to the pier?

What's up, dock?
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What is a frog's favorite year?

Leap Year

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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.

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Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?

Just in case he got a hole in one!
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How many Bell Labs vice presidents does it take to change a light bulb?

That's proprietary information. The answer is available from AT&T on payment of license fee (binary only).

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What do you call a king who is only 12 inches tall?

A ruler.
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What's the difference between a jellyfish and a lawyer?

One's a spineless, poisonous blob. The other is a form of sea life.

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What do you do when your chair breaks?

Call a chairman.

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