Who earns a living by driving his customers away?

A taxi driver.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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Why does the Easter Bunny have a shiny nose?

His powder puff is on the wrong end.
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What do you give a pig with a rash?

Oinkment.
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What is a ghost's favorite fruit?

Booberries!
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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If H20 is water, what is H204?

Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
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What's green and flies as fast as a speeding bullet?

Super Pickle!
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What did one owl say to the other owl?

Happy Owl-ween!
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What kind of band can't play music?

A rubber band.
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