Who earns a living by driving his customers away?

A taxi driver.
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What do you call a pig who knows karate?

Porkchop
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What clothes does a house wear?

Address.
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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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What is the strongest animal?

A snail because it carries it's home.
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Ah, I had a great boomerang joke...

It'll come back to me.
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Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck
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