Who earns a living by driving his customers away?

A taxi driver.
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What do you call a girl with a frog on her head?

Lilly.
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How do you stop a dog barking in the back seat of a car?

Put him in the front seat.
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What is a ghost's favorite pie?

Booberry pie!
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What do you call two banana peels?

Slippers.
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Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?

It needed to be trimmed.
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How many fatalists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What does it matter? we're all gonna die anyway.
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How many French Horn players does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he/she will spend hours checking for technical problems.
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Why was the math book sad?

It had too many problems.
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What has four legs and goes "Oom, Oom"?

A cow walking backwards
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