Who earns a living by driving his customers away?

A taxi driver.
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How many running-dog lackeys of the bourgeoisie does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to exploit the proletariat, and one to control the means of production!
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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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What kind of music do planets sing?

Neptunes!
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Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?

Just in case he got a hole in one!
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How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away his credit card
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What's worse than a worm in your apple?

Half a worm.
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How much does a hipster weigh?

An instagram.
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What is a frog's favorite year?

Leap Year
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