Who earns a living by driving his customers away?

A taxi driver.
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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Why did the football coach go to the bank?

To get his quarterback.
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Why was the woman fired from the car assembly line?

She was caught taking a brake.
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I’ve never gone to a gun range before.

I decided to give it a shot!
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What do you get when you cross a roll of wool and a kangaroo?

A woolen jumper
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What do postal workers do when they're mad?

They stamp their feet.
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Why did the girl throw the butter out the window?

She wanted to see a butterfly.
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