Who earns a living by driving his customers away?

A taxi driver.
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How many APL hackers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There's a primitive for that.
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What has legs but doesn't walk?

A bed.
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What do you call a clown who's in jail?

A silicon.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vampire?

A vampire only sucks blood at night.
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What's black and white and red all over?

A sunburnt zebra.
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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How many pre-med students does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: One to change the bulb and four to pull the ladder out from under him/her.
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What goes tick-tock, bow-wow, tick-tock, bow-wow?

A watch dog.
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