Who earns a living by driving his customers away?

A taxi driver.
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Why was the piano player arrested?

Because he got into treble with the cops

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What did rural America tell Donald Trump?

You're Hired.
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Why shouldn't Donald Trump rag on illegal immigrants?

Because an undocumented worker has been living on his head for the past 2 decades!
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There's a fine line between a numerator and denominator.

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So I was on a train with Einstein and he turns to me and asks...

Does Boston stop at this train?
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Why was the woman fired from the car assembly line?

She was caught taking a brake.
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What has a bed that you can't sleep in?

A river.
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There were 10 cats in a boat and one jumped out. How many were left?

None, because they were copycats
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What has four legs but never stands?

A Chair!
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