Who earns a living by driving his customers away?

A taxi driver.
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If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they'd be alloys.
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What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?

A try and try and try-ceratops
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What did the candle say to the other candle?

I'm going out tonight!
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Why did the cucumber call 911?

It was in a pickle!
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What do you call a loony spaceman?

An astronut.
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How do you know Donald Trump is talking to you?

Cause your the only one Hair.
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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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What kind of mouse does not eat, drink, or even walk?

A computer mouse.
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How many Iraqis does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It doesn't matter, they don't have any electricity any more.
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