Who earns a living by driving his customers away?

A taxi driver.
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Why did the chicken cross the road, roll in mud, then cross the road again?

He was a dirty double crosser!
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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What is a frog's favorite year?

Leap Year
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When are kids most likely to go to school?

When the door is open.
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What is a spaceman's favorite chocolate?

A marsbar!
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What does Donald Trump say when he can't find his Viagra?

"The erection is rigged!"
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There were five people under one umbrella. Why didn't they get wet?

It wasn't raining!
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What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?

A brick layer!
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Making bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon
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