Who earns a living by driving his customers away?

A taxi driver.
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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How many Holocaust revisionists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None: they just deny that the bulb ever went out in the first place.
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What do you call a chicken in the 1960's?

A funky chicken.
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When are kids most likely to go to school?

When the door is open.
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What is the difference between a fly and superman?

Superman can fly, but a fly cannot superman!
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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What has holes all over and holds water?

A sponge!
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What does Santa like to do in the garden?

Hoe, hoe, hoe!
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What do you call a bankrupt Santa?

Saint Nickel-less.
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