Who earns a living by driving his customers away?

A taxi driver.
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Why do they bury lawyers under 20 feet of dirt?

Because deep down, they're really good people.
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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one more, guys, I promise.
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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What room can you not go into?

A mushroom!
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What do you get when you cross a Christmas tree with an apple?

A pineapple!
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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How many engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

First they have to agree on which is better; the analog bulb or a digital bulb.
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