Who earns a living by driving his customers away?

A taxi driver.
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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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What is Donald Trumps favorite song?

ICE ICE Baby......
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Why does a stork stand on one leg?

Because it would fall over if it lifted the other one.
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How does a train sneeze?

Ah-choo-choo!
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What do you call a cheese factory in the Middle East?

Cheeses of Nazareth.
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When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?

When you're a mouse.
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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