Who earns a living by driving his customers away?

A taxi driver.
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Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.
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A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.' The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal.

Her husband responds, "But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."

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There were 10 cats in a boat and one jumped out. How many were left?

None, because they were copycats
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What do you call a wheel made of iron?

A ferrous wheel.
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So I met this gangster who pulls up the back of people's pants,

it was Wedgie Kray.

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Why did the melon jump into the lake?

It wanted to be a watermelon.
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What did the pencil say to the paper?

I dot my i's on you!
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What do you call a deer with no eyes?

No I deer
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How many law professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Hell, you need 250 just to lobby for the research grant.
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