Who earns a living by driving his customers away?

A taxi driver.
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Where do orcas hear music?

Orca-stras
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What day of the week tastes the best?

Sunday!
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There were 10 cats in a boat and one jumped out. How many were left?

None, because they were copycats
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.
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How many editors of Poor Richard's Almanac does it take to replace a light bulb?

Many hands make light work.
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What did the judge say to the dentist?

Do you swear to pull the tooth, the whole tooth and nothing but the tooth?
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The other day I sent my girlfriend a huge pile of snow.

I rang her up, I said "Did you get my drift?".
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He made an illegal ewe turn.
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