Who earns a living by driving his customers away?

A taxi driver.
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Why did the farmer wear one boot to town?

Because he heard there would be a 50% chance of snow!
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What do ghosts eat for supper?

Spooketi
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What bone will a dog never eat?

A trombone.
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What do basketball players and babies have in common?

They both dribble.
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What kind of pants do ghosts wear?

Boo-Jeans.
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What's the difference between a snow man and a snow woman?

Snow balls!
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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How many professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but they get three tech. reports out of it.
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How many Ukrainians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None, because people who glow in the dark don't need light bulbs.

Note: Topical to the Chernobyl Reactor disaster of 1984.
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