Who earns a living by driving his customers away?

A taxi driver.
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Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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How do hair stylists speed up their job?

They take short cuts!
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How many 2nd AD's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Uh...standby, I'll check on that.
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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Why don't honest people need beds?

They don't lie.
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Why did the skeleton cross the road?

To get to the body shop.
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What is a cat's favorite breakfast?

Mice krispies
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What has a head but no body?

A nail.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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