Who earns a living by driving his customers away?

A taxi driver.
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What did the calculator say to the math student?

You can count on me!
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What's the difference between a mosquito and a lawyer?

One is a blood-sucking parasite, the other is an insect.
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How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only two, but the hard part is getting them into the light bulb.
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What did the man on the beach say to Michael Jackson?

Get out of my sun!
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What do camels use to hide themselves?

Camelflauge
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I'm sorry we can't let the elephants back into the public pool.

They keep dropping their trunks.
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What did one elevator say to the other?

I think I'm coming down with something!
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Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?

It was two tired.
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How does a mouse feel after it takes a shower?

Squeaky clean
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