Who makes dinosaur clothes?

A dino-sewer.
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What did the guitarist do when his teacher told him to turn his amplifier on?

He caressed it softly and told it that he loved it

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Does it take longer to run from 1st base to 2nd, or from 2nd to 3rd?

From 2nd to 3rd because there's a shortstop in the middle.
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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