Who makes dinosaur clothes?

A dino-sewer.
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Why does Trump love the poorly educated?

Because they only know their ABCs "Anybody But Clinton".
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Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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How many U.S. Marines does it take to change a light bulb?

Fifty — one to screw in the bulb and 49 to guard him/her.
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Kleptomaniacs just don't get puns

they always take things literally.
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Who makes the best cake on a baseball team?

The batter.
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Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.
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What is on the ground and also a hundred feet in the air?

A centipede on its back!
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