Who makes dinosaur clothes?

A dino-sewer.
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How many charismatics does it take to change a light bulb?

Three - one to cast the bulb into the outer darkness, and two to catch it when it falls.
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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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Why is Donald Trump always seen with Melania?

Because all his other wives support Hillary.
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How many referral agents does it take to change a light bulb?

Two: One to screw you out of a fee, and the other to send you to a store where they ran out of bulbs weeks ago.
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What did the alien say when he was out of room?

I'm all spaced out!
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What did the class clown take a computer to school?

Her mom told her to bring in an apple for the teacher.
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I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day.

Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.

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