Who makes dinosaur clothes?

A dino-sewer.
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What did the banana do when the monkey chased it?

The banana split
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech?

After you die, a leech stops sucking your blood.
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How many sound engineers does it take to change a light bulb

None, sound engineers don't do lights
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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What do you do if your cat swallows your pencil?

Use a pen.
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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