Who makes the best cake on a baseball team?

The batter.
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How do you catch a squirrel?

Climb up a tree and act like a nut
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon
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Why doesn't Melania Trump want to be the first lady?

Because she would have to move into a smaller house.
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What nails do carpenters hate to hit?

Fingernails.
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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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What did the little boy's mom say when he asked her to buy him shoes for gym?

"Tell Jim to buy his own shoes".
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