Who makes the best cake on a baseball team?

The batter.
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What did the porcupine say to the cactus?

Is that you mommy?
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What do you call a deer that costs a dollar?

A buck.
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How do you tell you're kissing a french horn player?

He/She keeps trying to stick their fist up your butt.

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Why doesn't Melania Trump want to be the first lady?

Because she would have to move into a smaller house.
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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What do basketball players and babies have in common?

They both dribble.
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Whats the difference between a cat and a compound sentence?

One has claws at the end of its paws and one has a pause at the end of its clause
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they'd be alloys.
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