Who makes the best cake on a baseball team?

The batter.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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What is the strongest animal?

A snail because it carries it's home.
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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How many tenors does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change the bulb and three to whine "It's too high"
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How many Bratzlaver Hasidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find a bulb that burns as brightly as the old one.
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Why did the man take a pencil to bed?

Because he wanted to draw the curtains!
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