Who makes the best cake on a baseball team?

The batter.
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Why are kindergarten teachers so good?

They can make little things count.
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What has a lot of keys but can not open any doors?

A piano.
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Why did the tree go to the dentist?

It needed a root canal.
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Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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What do you give a lemon in distress?

Lemonade.
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How many televangelists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. Televangelists screw in motels.
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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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