Who makes the best cake on a baseball team?

The batter.
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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.

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What do you call a movie about Donald Trump, Bernie Madoff, and Kenneth Lay?

The League of Extraordinary Con Men.
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What do Santa's elves drink?

Minnesoda.
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What does a skeleton say before dinner?

Bone appetit!
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How many punk rockers does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and seventeen on the guest list.

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What's round and bad-tempered?

A vicious circle.

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How many magicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends on what you want to change it into.

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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.

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A mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno, dos..." and then

*poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
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