Who makes the best cake on a baseball team?

The batter.
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What did the porcupine say to the cactus?

Is that you mommy?
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How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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What do you call the security guards outside of Samsung.

The guardians of the galaxy!
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Why did the turtle cross the road?

To get to the shell station.
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Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15 Degrees C

and still be 0k?
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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.
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How many New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None 'o yo' fuckin' business!
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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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