Who makes the best cake on a baseball team?

The batter.
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What do you call a song sung in an automobile?

A cartoon.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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How many alumnae of (sorority name) does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change it and one to act as chaperone.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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What did the number 0 say to number 8?

Nice belt!
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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The new band called 1023MB.

They haven't had any gigs yet
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What goes under your feet and over your head?

A jump rope.
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Who can hold up a bus with one hand?

A crossing guard.
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