Who makes the best cake on a baseball team?

The batter.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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How are an apple and a lawyer alike?

They both look good hanging from a tree.
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What does Donald Trump say when he can't find his Viagra?

"The erection is rigged!"
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How are doughnuts and golf alike?

They both have a hole in one!
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What do you call lending money to a bison?

A buff-a-loan
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What do you get when you cross a blonde and a lawyer?

I don't know. There are some things even a blonde won't do.
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What do you call a calf after it's six months old?

Seven months old.
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What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.
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Who says sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me?

A guy who has never been hit with a dictionary.
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