Who makes the best cake on a baseball team?

The batter.
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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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What is a ghost's favorite fruit?

Booberries!
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.

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What do you call a dinosaur that smashes everything in its path?

Tyrannosaurus wrecks.

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Why did the calendar write its will?

Its days were numbered.
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Went to the corner shop -

bought 4 corners.

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What do you call a mad elephant?

An earthquake.

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