Who makes the best cake on a baseball team?

The batter.
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Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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What do you call a cow in a tornado?

A milkshake
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What do you do if your cat swallows your pencil?

Use a pen.
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What did the momma buffalo say to her son before he went to school?

Bison
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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How can you tell is a singer is at your door?

They can't find the key, and they never know when to come in.
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I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase.

I can hardly contain myself.

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Why did the elephant leave the circus?

He was tired of working for peanuts.
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