Who makes the best cake on a baseball team?

The batter.
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What did the snowman say to the customer?

Have an ice day!
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What is Claustrophobia?

The fear of Santa Claus.
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What does an octopus wear when it gets cold?

A coat of arms.
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What does Donald Trump say when he can't find his Viagra?

"The erection is rigged!"
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How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only two, but the hard part is getting them into the light bulb.
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How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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Do you know how to save a drowning lawyer?

Take your foot off his head.
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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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