Who makes the best cake on a baseball team?

The batter.
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What kind of motorcycle does Santa ride?

Holly Davidson.
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What's the difference between a good lawyer and a bad lawyer?

A bad lawyer makes your case drag on for years. A good lawyer makes it last even longer.
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What do you call a cow that plays a musical instrument?

A Moo-sician!

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How is Donald Trump going to shut down the Department of Education?

By renaming it Trump University.
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Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?

Because it's pretty basic stuff.
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Why were the teacher's eyes crossed?

She couldn't control her pupils.
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How do you know when the moon has enough to eat?

When it's full.
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I just watched a program about beavers.

It was the best dam program I've ever seen.
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What can you hold without using your hands?

Your breath!
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