Who makes the best cake on a baseball team?

The batter.
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What did rural America tell Donald Trump?

You're Hired.
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Where are sharks from?

Finland.
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There's two fish in a tank, and one says "How do you drive this thing?"
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A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: "Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!" The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: "The driver just insulted me!"

The man says: "You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you."
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What can you hold without ever touching it?

A conversation.
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Why did the orange stop in the middle of the hill?

It ran out of juice!
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What did the drummer get on his I.Q. Test?

Saliva
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How does a mouse feel after it takes a shower?

Squeaky clean
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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