Who makes the best cake on a baseball team?

The batter.
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How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb?

The fish.
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How many charismatics does it take to change a light bulb?

Three - one to cast the bulb into the outer darkness, and two to catch it when it falls.
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How many televangelists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. Televangelists screw in motels.
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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.
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What do you call a cheese factory in the Middle East?

Cheeses of Nazareth.
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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What is up in the air and wobbles?

A jellycopter
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How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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