Who makes the best cake on a baseball team?

The batter.
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What goes around a haunted house and never stops?

A fence.
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What do you call a cow with no legs?

Ground beef.
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Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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What was the farmer doing on the other side of the road?

He was catching all the chickens!
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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck
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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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Why did the cucumber call 911?

It was in a pickle!
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What do Michael Jackson and x-boxs have in common?

They're both plastic and little boys turn them on.
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What did the rug say to the floor?

Don't move, I've got you covered.
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