Who makes the best cake on a baseball team?

The batter.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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Three people were in a boat. They all fell off. Only two people ended up with wet hair. Why didn't the other person's hair get wet?

Because he was bald!
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Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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How do you catch a tame bird?

The tame way, unique up on it!
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How does Donald Trump intend to spice up the Republican Convention?

By relocating it to a casino!
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Why does a giraffe have such a long neck?

Because his feet stink
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He made an illegal ewe turn.
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What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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