Who makes the best cake on a baseball team?

The batter.
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How many PA' does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What's a light bulb?
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What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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Why do pandas like old movies?

Because they are black and white.
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How many Jewish American Princesses does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call Daddy, and one to get the (pick one:) mineral water/Tab.
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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they'd be alloys.
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What did the rug say to the floor?

Don't move, I've got you covered.
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