Who makes the best cake on a baseball team?

The batter.
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What do you call a movie about Donald Trump, Bernie Madoff, and Kenneth Lay?

The League of Extraordinary Con Men.
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Why did the TV cross the road?

Because it wanted to be a flat screen.
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Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?

HeHe
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How is Donald Trump going to create middle class jobs?

By paying them to cheer for him during campaign events.
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Whats Donald Trump's favorite nation?

Discrimination.
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What did the little boy's mom say when he asked her to buy him shoes for gym?

"Tell Jim to buy his own shoes".
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What do you call a calf after it's six months old?

Seven months old.
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