Who makes the best cake on a baseball team?

The batter.
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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've been framed!
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What message did Bach have on his answering machine?

"This phone is baroque, please call Bach later."

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A lorry-load of tortoises crashed into a trainload of terrapins,

What a turtle disaster

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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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What do you call a dinosaur at the rodeo?

A Broncosaurus or a Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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What did one wall say to the other?

I'll meet you at the corner.
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How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
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