Who makes the best cake on a baseball team?

The batter.
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What bone will a dog never eat?

A trombone.
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So the Pillsbury Doughboy's pants fell off and I..

feel really weird about donuts right now.
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The stormtrooper was enjoying the Wookie steak,

but it was a little Chewie.
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What has four legs, a trunk, and sunglasses?

A mouse on vacation.
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What do you do if your cat swallows your pencil?

Use a pen.
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?

It was two tired.
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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How many supporters of George W. Bush does it take to change a light bulb?

None. First, denounce the nearest Democrats as liberal pantywaists who deliberately caused the bulb to blow. Second, announce that the Bush administration has proved that the science of electricity is faulty, so no action ever needs to be taken on global light change. Third, keep the need for a new light bulb strictly secret. Fourth, use the money for new light bulbs as an excuse for another tax cut for Bush's wealthy friends. Fifth, explain that you would never "disassemble" about the need for light, you are way too busy spreading freedom and democracy in the Middle East by eliminating freedom and democracy in the United States.
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