Who makes the best cake on a baseball team?

The batter.
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What kind of jam can you not eat?

A traffic jam.
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How much does a hipster weigh?

An instagram.
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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Where do horses live?

In the neigh-borhood.
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I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day.

Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.

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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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Why did the rooster cross the road?

To prove he wasn't a chicken!
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What kind of eggs does a wicked chicken lay?

Deviled eggs.
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What happened when 500 hares got loose on Main Street?

The police had to comb the area.
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