Who makes the best cake on a baseball team?

The batter.
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How are doughnuts and golf alike?

They both have a hole in one!
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How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.
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Why do pandas like old movies?

Because they are black and white.
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Why are babies good at soccer?

Because they dribble!
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What do you see when you look into Trump's eyes?

Answer: The back of his head.
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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"I said to the Gym instructor "Can you teach me to do the splits?" He said, "How flexible are you?"

I said, "I can't make Tuesdays"

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Why do ducks fly south?

Because it's too far to walk!
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How do you know an elephant has been in your refrigerator?

There are footprints in the butter.
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