Who makes the best cake on a baseball team?

The batter.
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What did Michael Jackson tell the little boy?

"The way you make me feel, it really turns me on!"
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When Susan's boyfriend proposed marriage to her she said: "I love the simple things in life,

but I don't want one of them for my husband".

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Why was the woman fired from the car assembly line?

She was caught taking a brake.
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How many editors of Poor Richard's Almanac does it take to replace a light bulb?

Many hands make light work.
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I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with

but I've been trippin' all day.
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If you drop a white hat into the Red Sea, what does it become?

Wet.
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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How many televangelists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. Televangelists screw in motels.
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Why is Superman's costume so tight?

Because he wears a size "S".
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