Who makes the best cake on a baseball team?

The batter.
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What time is it when an elephant sits on your bed?

Time to get a new bed
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How many Bell Labs vice presidents does it take to change a light bulb?

That's proprietary information. The answer is available from AT&T on payment of license fee (binary only).
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What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?

A chili dog on a bun.
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How many alumnae of (sorority name) does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change it and one to act as chaperone.
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How many technical writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, provided there is a programmer around to explain how to do it.
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What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

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What do you call a fake noodle?

An impasta
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How many bikers does it take to change a light bulb?

It takes two. One to change the bulb, and the other to kick the switch.
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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