Who makes the best cake on a baseball team?

The batter.
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What's the difference between a tick and a lawyer?

The tick falls off when you are dead.
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How many mathematicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. He gives it to six Californians, thereby reducing the problem to an earlier joke...

In earlier work, Wiener [1] has shown that one mathematician can change a light bulb.

If k mathematicians can change a light bulb, and if one more simply watches them do it, then k+1 mathematicians will have changed the light bulb.

Therefore, by induction, for all n in the positive integers, n mathematicians can change a light bulb.

Bibliography:

[1] Wiener, Matthew P., <11485@ucbvax>, Re: YALBJ, 1986
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How do you make a million dollars singing jazz?

Start with two million.

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What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis
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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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Why don't aliens celebrate Chistmas?

Because they don't want to give away their presence.
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How is Donald Trump going to create middle class jobs?

By paying them to cheer for him during campaign events.
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Why was the ant so confused?

Because all his uncles were "ants"!
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Which is the most religious cheese?

Emmental...it's very hol(e)y...
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