Who makes the best cake on a baseball team?

The batter.
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Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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What did the baby corn ask the mother corn?

Where is pop corn?
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What do Santa's elves drink?

Minnesoda.
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How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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What airline does Donald Trump aspire to fly?

Hair Force One!
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"

The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
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How many Sound Recordists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

WHAT?
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"I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it,

it was a shitzu."
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