Who makes the best cake on a baseball team?

The batter.
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What do you throw to a drowning lawyer?

His partners.
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What did the Donald tell an illegal immigrant who was trying to put out a fire at Trump Tower?

No way Hose A.
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How many members of the United Church of Canada does it take to change a light bulb?

How dare you be so intolerant! So what if the light bulb has chosen an alternative light-style?
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How many Yuppies (WASPs) does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call the electrician, and one to mix the drinks.
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Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?

Because it's pretty basic stuff.
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Sherlock, what are you doing with that 200lbs shrub?

It's not a shrub, it's a lemon tree my dear Watson.
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What kind of cats like to go bowling?

Alley cats.
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What room can you not go into?

A mushroom!
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What do clarinetists use for birth control?

Their personalities.

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