Who makes the best cake on a baseball team?

The batter.
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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What's black and white and red all over?

A blushing zebra.
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How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.
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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and God?

God doesn't think he's a lawyer.
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Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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Why did the skeleton cross the road?

To get to the body shop.
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Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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What did the frog say when he heard "time flies when you are having fun?"

Time is fun when you're having flies
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