Who makes the best cake on a baseball team?

The batter.
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What do you call a sad bird?

A bluebird!
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What does Melania see in Donald Trump?

"Ten billion dollars and high cholesterol!"
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How many Bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb??

What's a light bulb?
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What can you hold without ever touching it?

A conversation.
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How many U.S. Marines does it take to change a light bulb?

Fifty — one to screw in the bulb and 49 to guard him/her.
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Why did the chicken cross the playground?

To get to the other slide!
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What did one eye say to the other?

Between you and me, something smells.
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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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What did Cinderella say to the photographer?

Some day my prints will come.
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