Who makes the best cake on a baseball team?

The batter.
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What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?

OH SNaP!
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How many singers from Nashville does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change it, one to sing about how heartbroken he is at the loss of the old one, one to sing about how madly in love he is with the new one, and one to go "Yee-Hah!" and throw his cowboy hat in the air.
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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Why did the poultry farmer become a school teacher?

So he could grade his eggs.
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What did the laywer name his daughter?

Sue.
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Where do cars go for a swim?

At the carpool!
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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