Who makes the best cake on a baseball team?

The batter.
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What message did Bach have on his answering machine?

"This phone is baroque, please call Bach later."

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What is a tree's favorite drink?

Root beer.
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How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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What kind of band can't play music?

A rubber band.
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What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

Frostbite.
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Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15 Degrees C

and still be 0k?
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How do you make a musician's car more aerodynamic?

Take the pizza delivery sign off the roof

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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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