Who makes the best cake on a baseball team?

The batter.
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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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How many Psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but the bulb has got to really WANT to change.
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What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?

HeHe
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I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with

but I've been trippin' all day.
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A man walks into a bar with a roll of tarmac under his arm and says:

"Pint please, and one for the road."

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Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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What has a bed that you can't sleep in?

A river.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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