Who makes the best cake on a baseball team?

The batter.
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How many Microsoft executives does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Bill Gates will just redefine Darkness® as the industry standard.
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What's black and white and red all over?

A blushing zebra.
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How do you know when the moon has enough to eat?

When it's full.
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How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.
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A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"

The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".
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Knock, knock!
Who's there?
Snow.
Snow who?

Snowbody!
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Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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When Susan's boyfriend proposed marriage to her she said: "I love the simple things in life,

but I don't want one of them for my husband".

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Why was the cat afraid of a tree?

Because of the bark
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