Who makes the best cake on a baseball team?

The batter.
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What do you get when you cross a roll of wool and a kangaroo?

A woolen jumper
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How many members of the United Church of Canada does it take to change a light bulb?

How dare you be so intolerant! So what if the light bulb has chosen an alternative light-style?
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What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?

2 Na
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Why do loud, obnoxious whistles exist at some factories?

To give us some sort of appreciation for flutes.

Did you hear about that music composer who committed suicide? He didn't even leave a note.

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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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"I said to the Gym instructor "Can you teach me to do the splits?" He said, "How flexible are you?"

I said, "I can't make Tuesdays"

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Why was the cat afraid of a tree?

Because of the bark
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What is the chemical formula for "coffee"?

CoFe2
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What do Russians use for napkins?

Soviets
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