Who makes the best cake on a baseball team?

The batter.
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What do you call a young army?

Infantry.
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What does a witch use to keep her hair up?

Scarespray!
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Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?

He got Avogadro's number!
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How is Donald Trump going to create middle class jobs?

By paying them to cheer for him during campaign events.
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How does an attorney sleep?

First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other.
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What does an octopus wear when it gets cold?

A coat of arms.
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What is black ,white and red all over?

A sunburnt penguin
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How many Bratzlaver Chassidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find one that burned as brightly as the first one.
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What kind of dessert does a ghost like?

I scream!
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