Who makes the best cake on a baseball team?

The batter.
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Why do pandas like old movies?

Because they are black and white.
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Did you know that oxygen went for a second date with potassium?
How did it go?

It went OK2!
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What did the class clown take a computer to school?

Her mom told her to bring in an apple for the teacher.
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What do you call 5000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?

A good start!
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How do you make a fire with two sticks?

Make sure one is a match!
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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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What's the difference between Donald Trump and Ronald Reagan?

If Trump gets Alzheimers his IQ will go up.
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