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Who makes the best cake on a baseball team?
The batter.
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How do you make a rock float?
Put it in a glass with some ice cream and root beer.
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What's the difference between Donald Trump and Ronald Reagan?
If Trump gets Alzheimers his IQ will go up.
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How many Agents does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Actually, agents will screw in just about anything.
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?
A lawn moo-er.
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A pair of eyebrows walked into a shop. The assistant asked, "Can I help you?"
The eyebrows replied, "no, we are just browsing"
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?
Because he was outstanding in his field.
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I swear, the other day I bought a packet of peanuts, and on the packet it said "may contain nuts." Well, YES! That's what I bought the buggers for!
You'd be annoyed if you opened it and a socket set fell out!"
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How many bureaucrats does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Two. One to assure the everything possible is being done while the other screws the bulb into the water faucet.
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What part of a fish weighs the most?
The scales.
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