Who makes the best cake on a baseball team?

The batter.
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Why does everybody like Frosty the Snowman?

Because he is so cool!
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Silver walks up to Gold in a bar and says, "AU, get outta here!"
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How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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Knock, knock
Who's there?
Merry.
Merry who?

Merry Christmas!
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I swear, the other day I bought a packet of peanuts, and on the packet it said "may contain nuts." Well, YES! That's what I bought the buggers for!

You'd be annoyed if you opened it and a socket set fell out!"

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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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How many record producers does it take to change a lightbulb?

Two… one to tell the engineer to do it, the other to say "I don't know, what do you think?"

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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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Where do fortune tellers dance?

At the crystal ball.
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