Who makes the best cake on a baseball team?

The batter.
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What do you call a king who is only 12 inches tall?

A ruler.
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What's black and white and red all over?

A blushing zebra.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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Ah, I had a great boomerang joke...

It'll come back to me.
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Why did the tree go to the dentist?

It needed a root canal.
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What has 4 wheels, gives milk, and eats grass.

A cow on a skateboard.
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When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?

When you're a mouse.
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Interesting story, the guy who helped me learn algebra never farted around anyone.

I mean he did say he was a private tutor.
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I swear, the other day I bought a packet of peanuts, and on the packet it said "may contain nuts." Well, YES! That's what I bought the buggers for!

You'd be annoyed if you opened it and a socket set fell out!"

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