Who makes the best cake on a baseball team?

The batter.
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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Why was the woman fired from the car assembly line?

She was caught taking a brake.
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What goes around a haunted house and never stops?

A fence.
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Why did the skeleton cross the road?

To get to the body shop.
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I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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What do fish take to stay healthy?

Vitamin sea.
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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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Why did the tomato blush?

Because he saw the salad dressing!
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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