Who makes the best cake on a baseball team?

The batter.
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There were 10 cats in a boat and one jumped out. How many were left?

None, because they were copycats
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Why did the cow go in the spaceship?

It wanted to see the mooooooon!
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What did the calculator say to the math student?

You can count on me!
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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Why was the ant so confused?

Because all his uncles were "ants"!
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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What do a viola and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is happy when the case is closed

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What do you see when you look into Trump's eyes?

Answer: The back of his head.
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