Who makes the best cake on a baseball team?

The batter.
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What did one egg say to the other egg?

Let's get crackin!
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Why did the elephant leave the circus?

He was tired of working for peanuts.
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What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo?

Big holes all over Australia!
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Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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What's green and loud?

A froghorn.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon
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How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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Why did the thief take a shower?

He wanted to make a clean getaway!
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