Who makes the best cake on a baseball team?

The batter.
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What kind of cat should you never play games with?

A cheetah
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What do you call a cat sitting on the beach on Christmas Eve?

Sandy Claws.
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What is worse then having one baby screaming?

Two babies screaming!
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Where do mice park their boats?

At the hickory dickory dock.
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How many mathematicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. He gives it to six Californians, thereby reducing the problem to an earlier joke...

In earlier work, Wiener [1] has shown that one mathematician can change a light bulb.

If k mathematicians can change a light bulb, and if one more simply watches them do it, then k+1 mathematicians will have changed the light bulb.

Therefore, by induction, for all n in the positive integers, n mathematicians can change a light bulb.

Bibliography:

[1] Wiener, Matthew P., <11485@ucbvax>, Re: YALBJ, 1986
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How many believable, competent, ``just-right-for-the-job'' presidential candidates does it take to change a light bulb?

It's going to be a dark 4 years, isn't it?
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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've been framed.
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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."
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