Who makes the best cake on a baseball team?

The batter.
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What is the easiest way to count a herd of cattle?

With a cowculator.
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What nails do carpenters hate to hit?

Fingernails.
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How many sound engineers does it take to change a light bulb

None, sound engineers don't do lights
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How many Einsteins does it take to change a light bulb?

That depends on the speed of the change and the mass of the bulb. Or vice versa, of course. It just might be easier to leave the bulb and change the room. It's all relative.
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Where do ghosts buy their food?

At the ghost-ery store!
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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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What is Claustrophobia?

The fear of Santa Claus.
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