Why are babies good at soccer?

Because they dribble!
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What's the difference between a tuba and a vacumn cleaner?

You have to turn one of them on before it sucks.

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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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What music does cheese listen to?

R & Brie.
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How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.
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Why did the poultry farmer become a school teacher?

So he could grade his eggs.
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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Why were the teacher's eyes crossed?

She couldn't control her pupils.
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