Why are babies good at soccer?

Because they dribble!
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How many assholes does it take to change a light bulb?

None; assholes never see the light anyway.
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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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What's black and white and red all over?

A sunburnt zebra.
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What is a cat's favorite movie?

The sound of Mew-sic
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Why did the elephant leave the circus?

He was tired of working for peanuts.
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Why was the mouse afraid of the water?

Catfish
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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How many ``pro-lifers'' does it take to change a light bulb?

6: 2 to screw in the bulb and 4 to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
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