Why are babies good at soccer?

Because they dribble!
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What has ears like a cat and a tail like a cat, but is not a cat?

A kitten.
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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What did the sardine call the submarine?

A can of people.
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Clowns divorce:

custardy battle.
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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