Why are babies good at soccer?

Because they dribble!
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What do you call a pig who knows karate?

Porkchop
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"I said to the Gym instructor "Can you teach me to do the splits?" He said, "How flexible are you?"

I said, "I can't make Tuesdays"

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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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What do you call a dinosaur at the rodeo?

A Broncosaurus or a Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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What's the definition of perfect pitch?

When you toss a banjo in the garbage and it hits an accordion.

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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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How many Bratzlaver Chassidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find one that burned as brightly as the first one.
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Where does a ten ton elephant sit?

Anywhere it wants to
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