Why are babies good at soccer?

Because they dribble!
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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.
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What do clarinetists use for birth control?

Their personalities.

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How many charismatics does it take to change a light bulb?

Three - one to cast the bulb into the outer darkness, and two to catch it when it falls.
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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What did one tooth say to the other tooth?

The dentist is taking me out tonight.
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Why did the tree go to the dentist?

It needed a root canal.
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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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What kind of balls do dragons play soccer with?

Fireballs.
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