Why are babies good at soccer?

Because they dribble!
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What did the Donald tell an illegal immigrant who was trying to put out a fire at Trump Tower?

No way Hose A.
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Did you hear about Michael Jackson's latest record?

"Feel the World."
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What did one titration say to the other?

"Let's meet at the endpoint."
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What did the clock do after it ate?

It went back four seconds!
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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Why are elephants wrinkled?

Because they don't fit on a ironing board
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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.
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