Why are babies good at soccer?

Because they dribble!
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How many [ethnic] gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.
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Why are the middle ages sometimes called the Dark Ages?

Because they had so many knights.
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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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Why did the tree go to the dentist?

It needed a root canal.
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Why did a boy thow a clock out the window?

To see time fly.
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Now that Macy's has severed ties, with Donald Trump, how can the average American look like the President?

By hunting and killing their own hair piece.
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There's two fish in a tank, and one says "How do you drive this thing?"
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