Why are babies good at soccer?

Because they dribble!
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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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Where would an astronaut park his space ship?

A parking meteor!
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Where do you get whales weighed?

At the Whale-weigh station.
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Why can't you say a joke while standing on ice?

Because it might crack up!
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What has holes all over and holds water?

A sponge!
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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How many gorillas does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it sure takes a shitload of light bulbs!
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What's a puppy's favorite kind of pizza?

Pupperoni.
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