Why are babies good at soccer?

Because they dribble!
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Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?

Because it's pretty basic stuff.
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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How many TV comedians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to say "Sock it to Me." (Notes: Sock it = Socket. Also, for the infant readers among you, this was a popular catch-phrase from "Laugh In.")
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Why do pandas like old movies?

Because they are black and white.
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How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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What makes music on your hair?

A head band!

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How many UFO buffs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. You don't believe me do you? I've got photos! See that big blob? Well, just squint your eyes a bit. . . .
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How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
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