Why are babies good at soccer?

Because they dribble!
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Why don't aliens celebrate Chistmas?

Because they don't want to give away their presence.
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What's the only difference between Donald Trump and Bozo the Clown?

Bozo The Clown has real hair on his head.
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How many Executive Producers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Executive Producers don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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How many alumnae of (sorority name) does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change it and one to act as chaperone.
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What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?

A spelling bee!
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What music does cheese listen to?

R & Brie.
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Whats the difference between Terrorists and Accordion players?

Terrorists have sympathizers

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