Why are babies good at soccer?

Because they dribble!
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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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Where do you get whales weighed?

At the Whale-weigh station.
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What goes 99 thump,99 thump,99 thump?

A centipede with a wooden leg.
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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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How many tenors does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change the bulb and three to whine "It's too high"
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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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