Why are babies good at soccer?

Because they dribble!
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How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: one to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.
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How many Californians does it take to change a light bulb?

Six. One to turn the bulb, one for support, and four to relate to the experience.
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What is the strongest animal?

A snail because it carries it's home.
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Making bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon
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How did the butcher introduce his wife?

Meet Patty.
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"I said to the Gym instructor "Can you teach me to do the splits?" He said, "How flexible are you?"

I said, "I can't make Tuesdays"

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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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When did the fly fly?

When the spider spied her!
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