Why are babies good at soccer?

Because they dribble!
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon
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What do you call a deer with no eyes?

No I deer
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I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.

It's a total rip-off.
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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How many supporters of George W. Bush does it take to change a light bulb?

None. First, denounce the nearest Democrats as liberal pantywaists who deliberately caused the bulb to blow. Second, announce that the Bush administration has proved that the science of electricity is faulty, so no action ever needs to be taken on global light change. Third, keep the need for a new light bulb strictly secret. Fourth, use the money for new light bulbs as an excuse for another tax cut for Bush's wealthy friends. Fifth, explain that you would never "disassemble" about the need for light, you are way too busy spreading freedom and democracy in the Middle East by eliminating freedom and democracy in the United States.
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What's black and white and red all over?

A blushing zebra.
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Why did God make snakes just before lawyers?

To practice.
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Anyone know any jokes about sodium?

Na
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