Why are babies good at soccer?

Because they dribble!
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What music does cheese listen to?

R & Brie.
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How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.
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Why are there fences around a graveyard?

Because people are dying to get in!
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What did the momma buffalo say to her son before he went to school?

Bison
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How many socialists does it take to change a light bulb?

One to petition the Ministry of Light for a bulb, 50 to establish the state production quota, 200 militia to force the factory unions to allow production of the bulb, and one to surreptitiously dial an "800" number to order an American light bulb.
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What is the difference between a clarinet and an onion?

Nobody cries when you chop an clarinet into little pieces

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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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Trump: "Foreign Policy?,

if you mess with the United States, there will be hell toupee."

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