Why are babies good at soccer?

Because they dribble!
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The defendant is accused of putting dynamite into a steer.

Abominable! [A Bomb In a Bull]
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Why are elephants wrinkled?

Because they don't fit on a ironing board
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Why is tennis such a loud game?

Because each player raises a racquet.
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How many folk singers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.
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Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?

Fo Drizzle!

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What do you call the king of vegetables?

Elvis Parsley.
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What does a witch use to keep her hair up?

Scarespray!
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a bucket of manure?

The bucket.
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