Why are babies good at soccer?

Because they dribble!
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What does the winner of the race lose?

His breath.
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Which candles burn longer, bee's wax or tallow?

Neither, they all burn shorter.
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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Why don't aliens celebrate Chistmas?

Because they don't want to give away their presence.
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What do Santa's elves drink?

Minnesoda.
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I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite

He said NaBrO
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What's the difference between a good lawyer and a bad lawyer?

A bad lawyer makes your case drag on for years. A good lawyer makes it last even longer.
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