Why are babies good at soccer?

Because they dribble!
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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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How many singers from Nashville does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change it, one to sing about how heartbroken he is at the loss of the old one, one to sing about how madly in love he is with the new one, and one to go "Yee-Hah!" and throw his cowboy hat in the air.
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Why did the elephant leave the circus?

He was tired of working for peanuts.
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A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"

The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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What is a ghost's favorite pie?

Booberry pie!
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What's 182 feet tall and made out of pepperoni and cheese?

The leaning tower of Pizza.
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