Why are babies good at soccer?

Because they dribble!
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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Whats the difference between a cat and a compound sentence?

One has claws at the end of its paws and one has a pause at the end of its clause
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Why do ducks fly south?

Because it's too far to walk!
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How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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What do you call a crate of ducks?

A box of quackers.
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How many believable, competent, ``just-right-for-the-job'' presidential candidates does it take to change a light bulb?

It's going to be a dark 4 years, isn't it?
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Why did the gardener plant his money?

He wanted his soil to be rich!
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