Why are babies good at soccer?

Because they dribble!
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Doc, I can't stop singing the 'Green Green Grass of Home'. He said: 'That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome'. 'Is it common?'I asked.

'It's not unusual' he replied.

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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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What kind of potato chips fly?

Plane ones.
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What kind of cats like to go bowling?

Alley cats.
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H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?

Drinking.
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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What does Santa like to do in the garden?

Hoe, hoe, hoe!
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