Why are babies good at soccer?

Because they dribble!
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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What did the peanut say to the walnut?

Nothing. Nuts can't talk.
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What do you call a story about a broken pencil?

Pointless
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Trump: "Foreign Policy?,

if you mess with the United States, there will be hell toupee."

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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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What happened when 500 hares got loose on Main Street?

The police had to comb the area.
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Four fonts walk into a bar

the barman says "Oi - get out! We don't want your type in here"

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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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