Why are babies good at soccer?

Because they dribble!
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What did the Donald tell an illegal immigrant who was trying to put out a fire at Trump Tower?

No way Hose A.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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What do you do with a dead chemist?

Barium
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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I just watched a debate as to which cartoons were better- Disney or Warner Bros.

I have to say it got very animated.
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?

It needed to be trimmed.
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What are pirate's favoite treat?

Chips AHOY!!
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