Why are babies good at soccer?

Because they dribble!
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What's the difference between a jellyfish and a lawyer?

One's a spineless, poisonous blob. The other is a form of sea life.
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What is a cat's favorite movie?

The sound of Mew-sic
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How many cops does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. It turned itself in.
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If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?

H2O cubed.
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What's the difference between a musician and a 14-inch pizza?

A 14-inch pizza can feed a family of four

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A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"

The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".
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Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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What do you call a mad elephant?

An earthquake.
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