Why are babies good at soccer?

Because they dribble!
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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How many law professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Hell, you need 250 just to lobby for the research grant.
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What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?

A spelling bee!
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My first girlfriend was a tennis player but she broke my heart.

It was like love meant nothing to her.
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A pair of eyebrows walked into a shop. The assistant asked, "Can I help you?"

The eyebrows replied, "no, we are just browsing"
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What's a tree's favorite drink?

Rootbeer.
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