Why are babies good at soccer?

Because they dribble!
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Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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How do dinosaurs pay their bills?

With Tyrannosaurus checks.
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A pair of eyebrows walked into a shop. The assistant asked, "Can I help you?"

The eyebrows replied, "no, we are just browsing"
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But the guitarist has to show him first.

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What are the 10 letters of the pirate alphabet?

Aye, Aye, Arr and the Seven C's
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A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."

The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."
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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've got you covered!
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