Why are babies good at soccer?

Because they dribble!
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Sherlock, what are you doing with that 200lbs shrub?

It's not a shrub, it's a lemon tree my dear Watson.
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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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Why don't mountains get cold in the winter?

They wear snowcaps.
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What does cheese like to drink?

Morbier
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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How many TV comedians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to say "Sock it to Me." (Notes: Sock it = Socket. Also, for the infant readers among you, this was a popular catch-phrase from "Laugh In.")
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What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?

Its shadow
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How many teamsters does it take to change a light bulb?

``Twelve. Ya got a problem with that?''
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