Why are babies good at soccer?

Because they dribble!
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Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?

It was two tired.
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How many militarists does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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What do frogs order when they go to a restaurant?

French Flies.
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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What happened when the monster ate the electric company?

He was in shock for a week.
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What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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What do you call a pig that's been arrested for dangerous driving?

A road hog.
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