Why are babies good at soccer?

Because they dribble!
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What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?

White vans.
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What kind of cats like to go bowling?

Alley cats.
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What do you call a fish without an eye?

Fsh
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A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"

The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".
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What do you call a pig who knows karate?

Porkchop
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Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?

It was two tired.
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What's the only difference between Donald Trump and Bozo the Clown?

Bozo The Clown has real hair on his head.
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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