Why are babies good at soccer?

Because they dribble!
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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What do you see when you look into Trump's eyes?

Answer: The back of his head.
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Why did the cat go to Minnesota?

To get a mini soda
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How many IBM engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just let Marketing explain that "Dead Bulb" is a feature.
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What is up in the air and wobbles?

A jellycopter
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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
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