Why are babies good at soccer?

Because they dribble!
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Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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What do frogs order when they go to a restaurant?

French Flies.
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How many record producers does it take to change a lightbulb?

Two… one to tell the engineer to do it, the other to say "I don't know, what do you think?"

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How does Donald Trump intend to spice up the Republican Convention?

By relocating it to a casino!
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And the mermaid, that was weird. What was she wearing in math class?

An Algae-bra
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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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Were does a boat go when it is sick?

To the dock.
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