Why are elephants wrinkled?

Because they don't fit on a ironing board
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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There were five people under one umbrella. Why didn't they get wet?

It wasn't raining!
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How many referral agents does it take to change a light bulb?

Two: One to screw you out of a fee, and the other to send you to a store where they ran out of bulbs weeks ago.
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What music does cheese listen to?

R & Brie.
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What breakfast cereal does Frosty the Snowman eat?

Snowflakes.
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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What do you do with a dead chemist?

Barium
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What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?

White vans.
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