Why are elephants wrinkled?

Because they don't fit on a ironing board
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What do you call a cat sitting on the beach on Christmas Eve?

Sandy Claws.
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How many U.S marines does it take to screw in a light bulb?

50. One to screw in the light bulb and the remaining 49 to guard him .
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Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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There were 10 cats in a boat and one jumped out. How many were left?

None, because they were copycats
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What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?

OH SNaP!
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What do you call two ants that run away to get married?

Ant-elopes!
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What does Donald Trump say when he can't find his Viagra?

"The erection is rigged!"
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How many Microsoft executives does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Bill Gates will just redefine Darkness® as the industry standard.
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