Why are elephants wrinkled?

Because they don't fit on a ironing board
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What cell phones do travelling nuns use?

Virgin mobile.
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Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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How many French Horn players does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he/she will spend hours checking for technical problems.
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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What school do you have to drop out of to graduate from?

Parachute school!
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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Why did the gardener plant his money?

He wanted his soil to be rich!
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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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