Why are elephants wrinkled?

Because they don't fit on a ironing board
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Why was the mouse afraid of the water?

Catfish
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Why shouldn't Donald Trump rag on illegal immigrants?

Because an undocumented worker has been living on his head for the past 2 decades!
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Where does Friday come before Monday?

In the dictionary.
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What is a cat's favorite breakfast?

Mice krispies
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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Silver walks up to Gold in a bar and says, "AU, get outta here!"
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Where does the snowman hide his money?

In the snow bank.
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Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?

It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
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