Why are elephants wrinkled?

Because they don't fit on a ironing board
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What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from?

Separation anxiety.
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What kind of music do planets sing?

Neptunes!
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What kind of fly has a frog in its throat?

A hoarse fly!
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How many French Horn players does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he/she will spend hours checking for technical problems.
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How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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What did the porcupine say to the cactus?

Is that you mommy?
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Four fonts walk into a bar

the barman says "Oi - get out! We don't want your type in here"

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