Why are elephants wrinkled?

Because they don't fit on a ironing board
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How many running-dog lackeys of the bourgeoisie does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to exploit the proletariat, and one to control the means of production!
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There were five people under one umbrella. Why didn't they get wet?

It wasn't raining!
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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What do you call 25 skydiving lawyers?

Skeet.
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How many supporters of George W. Bush does it take to change a light bulb?

None. First, denounce the nearest Democrats as liberal pantywaists who deliberately caused the bulb to blow. Second, announce that the Bush administration has proved that the science of electricity is faulty, so no action ever needs to be taken on global light change. Third, keep the need for a new light bulb strictly secret. Fourth, use the money for new light bulbs as an excuse for another tax cut for Bush's wealthy friends. Fifth, explain that you would never "disassemble" about the need for light, you are way too busy spreading freedom and democracy in the Middle East by eliminating freedom and democracy in the United States.
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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What did one titration say to the other?

"Let's meet at the endpoint."
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Making bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon
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