Why are elephants wrinkled?

Because they don't fit on a ironing board
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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What room can you not go into?

A mushroom!
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What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?

CSI
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Why can't Donald Trump be a Lannister?

Because he never pays his debts.
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Knock, knock
Who's there?
Merry.
Merry who?

Merry Christmas!
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How many stock brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes (knowing that it's already burned out).
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Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?

Because it's pretty basic stuff.
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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