Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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The new band called 1023MB.

They haven't had any gigs yet
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What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

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How many Italians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

I dunno exactly, but my brother's girlfriend's father's boss's secretary's sister's next-door neighbors' priest's cousin's union shop steward's uncle's Knights Of Columbus club Sergeant-of-Arms's nephew's best friend did it real cheap for me once.
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What washes up on small beaches?

Microwaves.
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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What goes up and down but never moves?

Stairs.
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How many Marxists does it take to change a light bulb?

None. The light bulb contains the seeds of its own revolution.
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A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"

The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
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