Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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What's a frog's favorite drink?

Croak-a-cola.
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What did the sardine call the submarine?

A can of people.
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What's round and bad-tempered?

A vicious circle.
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What do you call cheese that isn't yours?

Nacho cheese.
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Where does a polarbear keep its money?

In a snow bank!
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Why was the sand wet?

Because the sea weed
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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