Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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I just watched a program about beavers.

It was the best dam program I've ever seen.
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What does one bucket say to the other?

I am feeling pale today.
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What did the calculator say to the math student?

You can count on me!
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Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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What has a head but no body?

A nail.
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What's the difference between a female lawyer and a pitbull?

Lipstick.
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How does Donald Trump plan on deporting 12 million illegal immigrants?

Juan by Juan.
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What has four legs, a trunk, and sunglasses?

A mouse on vacation.
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