Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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What is black ,white and red all over?

A sunburnt penguin
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Why did Mickey Mouse go to outer space?

He was looking for Pluto.
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How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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My first girlfriend was a tennis player but she broke my heart.

It was like love meant nothing to her.
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How many junkies does it take to screw in a light bulb?

``Oh wow, is it like dark, man?''
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How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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