Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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What do you call a smiling, sober, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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What kind of underwear to reporters wear?

News briefs.
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Why did the boy take a ladder to school?

He wanted to go to high school!
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What concert costs 45 cents?

50 cent featuring Nickelback

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What day of the week tastes the best?

Sunday!
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How Many lead guitarist does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just steal somebody else's light.
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Which candles burn longer, bee's wax or tallow?

Neither, they all burn shorter.
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