Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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What do you get when you cross a Cocker Spaniel,
a Poodle and a ghost?

A cocker poodle boo.
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What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?

HeHe
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Went to the paper shop -

it had blown away.
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Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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What do you call a fat pumpkin?

A plumpkin.
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Why was the mouse afraid of the water?

Catfish
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What does cheese like to drink?

Morbier
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