Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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Whats Donald Trump's favorite nation?

Discrimination.
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Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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What is the difference between a lawyer and a rooster?

When a rooster wakes up in the morning, its primal urge is to cluck defiance.
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Four fonts walk into a bar

the barman says "Oi - get out! We don't want your type in here"

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What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer?

An offer you can't understand
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How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
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What do you call a baby bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear
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