Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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How many accountants does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What kind of answer did you have in mind?
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What's green and loud?

A froghorn.
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What did the ghost say to the other ghost?

Do you believe in humans?
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Trump: "It's not a toupee,

I just found the Bush that Jeb lost."
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What do you call a mad elephant?

An earthquake.
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What kind of dress can't be worn?

Address.
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