Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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What did the man on the beach say to Michael Jackson?

Get out of my sun!
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What has four legs, a trunk, and sunglasses?

A mouse on vacation.
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Why can't you compare Donald Trump to cancer?

Because sometimes you can get rid of cancer.
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What's the one thing that never works when it's fixed?

A jury.
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Why did the cow go in the spaceship?

It wanted to see the mooooooon!
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How many data base people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three:

One to write the light bulb removal program,
one to write the light bulb insertion program, and

one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
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There were 10 cats in a boat and one jumped out. How many were left?

None, because they were copycats
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How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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