Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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How do you stop a dog barking in the back seat of a car?

Put him in the front seat.
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I just watched a program about beavers.

It was the best dam program I've ever seen.
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What letter can you drink?

T (tea)
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How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. No, two. No... How many do we have on the truck?
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Why did the lamb cross the road?

To get to the baaaaarber shop
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What do you call a dinosaur at the rodeo?

A Broncosaurus or a Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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Which is the most religious cheese?

Emmental...it's very hol(e)y...
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What has a lot of keys but can not open any doors?

A piano.
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