Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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Where does the snowman hide his money?

In the snow bank.
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What goes around a haunted house and never stops?

A fence.
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What do you call a deer with no eyes?

No I deer
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What do you call a cheese factory in the Middle East?

Cheeses of Nazareth.
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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What is a cat's favorite breakfast?

Mice krispies
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What did the banana do when the monkey chased it?

The banana split
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How many archaeologists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One team, but they'll label every piece of the old one, mark its location in the room, and write a detailed description before determining that it was used to store cornmeal.
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