Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vulture?

The lawyer gets frequent flyer miles.
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Why did the boy take a ladder to school?

He wanted to go to high school!
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A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"

The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".
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What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?

Wet feet.
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What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?

White vans.
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What do whales eat?

Fish and ships.
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What is the snake's favorite subject?

Hiss-story
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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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