Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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I just watched a program about beavers.

It was the best dam program I've ever seen.
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What does an octopus wear when it gets cold?

A coat of arms.
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What did the alien say to the cat?

Take me to your litter.
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How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.
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Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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How do you make a million dollars singing jazz?

Start with two million.

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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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What kind of pants do ghosts wear?

Boo-Jeans.
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