Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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Where are sharks from?

Finland.
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What do you call a cow that's just given birth?

[De-Calf-Inated]
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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Went to the corner shop -

bought 4 corners.

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Why to lawyers wear neckties?

To keep the foreskin from crawling up their chins.
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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