Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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What is the difference between a locomotive engineer and a teacher?

One minds the train, one trains the mind.
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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How do you make Holy water?

Take regular water and just boil the hell out of it.
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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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What did the Donald tell an illegal immigrant who was trying to put out a fire at Trump Tower?

No way Hose A.
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How do you prevent a Summer cold?

Catch it in the Winter!
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