Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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What does the toast wear to bed?

Jammies!
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Do you know how to save a drowning lawyer?

Take your foot off his head.
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What did Michael Jackson tell the little boy?

"The way you make me feel, it really turns me on!"
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What do you call a girl with a frog on her head?

Lilly.
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What do you call a baby bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear
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What do you call lending money to a bison?

A buff-a-loan
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Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?

It was two tired.
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What kind of potato chips fly?

Plane ones.
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