Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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"Mommy, everyone says I look like a werewolf."

"Please be quiet and comb your face."
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What's the difference between in-laws and outlaws?

Outlaws are wanted.
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What did the number 0 say to number 8?

Nice belt!
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Why did the man take a pencil to bed?

Because he wanted to draw the curtains!
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If the red house is on the left,the blue house is on the right,where is the White House?

In Washington, D.C.
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How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. No, two. No... How many do we have on the truck?
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Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15 Degrees C

and still be 0k?
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What do you call a bruise on a T-Rex?

A dino-sore
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