Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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And how come her cell phone bill was so high?

She was a Roman (roamin) Catholic
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Why did God make snakes just before lawyers?

To practice.
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What did the ghost say to the other ghost?

Do you believe in humans?
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What happened when the monster ate the electric company?

He was in shock for a week.
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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What's black and white and red all over?

A sunburnt zebra.
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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