Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?

There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've been framed.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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Why does a stork stand on one leg?

Because it would fall over if it lifted the other one.
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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Well, first let's talk about the concept behind this whole "light bulb" thing.
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How many Microsoft executives does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Bill Gates will just redefine Darkness® as the industry standard.
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What is the opposite of a restaurant?

A workaraunt.
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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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