Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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What did Delaware?

A New Jersey.
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How many Christian Scientists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None, but it takes at least one to sit and pray for the old one to go back on.
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A jump-lead walks into a bar.

The barman says "I'll serve you, but don't start anything"
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What robs you while you're in the bathtub?

A robber ducky.
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What do you call a cheese factory in the Middle East?

Cheeses of Nazareth.
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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