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Why are ghosts so bad at lying?
Because you can see right through them!
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Interesting story, the guy who helped me learn algebra never farted around anyone.
I mean he did say he was a private tutor.
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What robs you while you're in the bathtub?
A robber ducky.
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Want to hear a joke about construction?
I'm still working on it.
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Trump: "Foreign Policy?,
if you mess with the United States, there will be hell toupee."
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How many apples grow on a tree?
All of them.
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I swear, the other day I bought a packet of peanuts, and on the packet it said "may contain nuts." Well, YES! That's what I bought the buggers for!
You'd be annoyed if you opened it and a socket set fell out!"
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How do you fix a broken Tuba.
With a tuba glue.
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.
It’s a little fishy.
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