Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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I was in Tesco's and I saw this man and woman wrapped in a barcode.

I said, "Are you two an item?"

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What does a witch use to keep her hair up?

Scarespray!
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How many hardware engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Any changes will have to be implemented in software.
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How many referral agents does it take to change a light bulb?

Two: One to screw you out of a fee, and the other to send you to a store where they ran out of bulbs weeks ago.
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Why did the belt go to jail?

It held up a pair of pants.
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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.
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What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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