Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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What did the mother broom say to the baby broom?

It's time to go to sweep.

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Why does the law society prohibit sex between lawyers and their clients?

To prevent clients from being billed twice for essentially the same service.
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How many U.S. Marines does it take to change a light bulb?

Fifty — one to screw in the bulb and 49 to guard him/her.

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What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?

Root position cords.

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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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What did the snail say when he got on the turtle's shell?

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

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Three people were in a boat. They all fell off. Only two people ended up with wet hair. Why didn't the other person's hair get wet?

Because he was bald!
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Name four men that are in a rock group together but none of them sing nor play music...

Mt Rushmore. They're a rock group.. it's a rock...group
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