Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?

A spelling bee!
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb?

The fish.
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What room does a ghost not need?

A living room!
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What is the strongest animal?

A snail because it carries it's home.
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Clowns divorce:

custardy battle.
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What do you do with a dead chemist?

Barium
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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