Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They have machines to do that now.
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What do you call a baby bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear
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I said to this train driver "I want to go to Paris". He said "Eurostar?"

I said, "I've been on telly but I'm no Dean Martin".
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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How many cops does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. It turned itself in.
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What robs you while you're in the bathtub?

A robber ducky.
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I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite

He said NaBrO
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How do you stop a dog barking in the back seat of a car?

Put him in the front seat.
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