Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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What runs around a yard without moving?

A fence.
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What goes up and down but never moves?

Stairs.
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Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks.

They charged one - and let the other one off.

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What has four legs but never stands?

A Chair!
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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How much does a hipster weigh?

An instagram.
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What goes around a haunted house and never stops?

A fence.
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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