Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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What do you call a bankrupt Santa?

Saint Nickel-less.
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What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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What does GOP stand for?

Grabs Our Pussy.
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Where do cars go for a swim?

At the carpool!
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How do you catch a squirrel?

Climb up a tree and act like a nut
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What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer?

An offer you can't understand
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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What has four legs and goes "Oom, Oom"?

A cow walking backwards
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