Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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What kind of shoes do bannanas make?

Slippers!
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What are the 10 letters of the pirate alphabet?

Aye, Aye, Arr and the Seven C's
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How many Psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but the bulb has got to really WANT to change.
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Why are Muslims worried about Trumps immigration plans?

Once you deport Juan you deport Jamal.
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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Why do pandas like old movies?

Because they are black and white.
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