Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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What do bees do with their honey?

They cell it.
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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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What nails do carpenters hate to hit?

Fingernails.
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Where do you get whales weighed?

At the Whale-weigh station.
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Clowns divorce:

custardy battle.
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Now that Macy's has severed ties, with Donald Trump, how can the average American look like the President?

By hunting and killing their own hair piece.
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How many Union Lighting Technicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It's not a bulb, it's a globe.
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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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