Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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What did Donald Trump do before criticizing illegals?

He made sure his pools were clean and his lawns were mowed.
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How many conservatives does it take to change a light bulb?

One; after reflecting in the twilight on the merit of the previous bulb.
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Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.
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What did the ghost say to the other ghost?

Do you believe in humans?
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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What is at the end of everything?

The letter G.
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How many Californians does it take to change a light bulb?

Six. One to turn the bulb, one for support, and four to relate to the experience.
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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