Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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What do you call a sleeping bull?

A bulldozer
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Why are kindergarten teachers so good?

They can make little things count.
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What kind of driver has no arms or legs?

A screwdriver.
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How many subscribers to AOL does it take to change a light bulb?

What? You can change light bulbs?
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How many lawyers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Three, One to climb the ladder. One to shake it. And one to sue the ladder company.
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What do you call a pig who knows karate?

Porkchop
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How many big black monoliths does it take to change a light bulb?

Sorry, light bulbs are an evolutionary dead end.
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What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?

It gave a little wine
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