Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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What did Donald Trump do before criticizing illegals?

He made sure his pools were clean and his lawns were mowed.
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Why did the chicken cross the road, roll in mud, then cross the road again?

He was a dirty double crosser!
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What do you call two banana peels?

Slippers.
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Why is b always cool?

Because it's between ac.
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How does a mouse feel after it takes a shower?

Squeaky clean
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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Where do you learn to make banana splits?

In sundae school.
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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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