Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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How do you make a musician's car more aerodynamic?

Take the pizza delivery sign off the roof

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What do frogs order when they go to a restaurant?

French Flies.
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And the mermaid, that was weird. What was she wearing in math class?

An Algae-bra
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How many light bulbs does it take to change a light bulb?

One, if it knows its own Goedel number.
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How many times does Bill Clinton change a light bulb?

No one knows. Republicans automatically disbelieve him, and no one can ever trust a stinking liberal anyway.
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What starts with E, ends with E and only has one letter?

An envelope.
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How many chiropractors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but it takes six visits.
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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