Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?

coz Donald ducked
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How many Agents does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Actually, agents will screw in just about anything.
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How many supporters of George W. Bush does it take to change a light bulb?

None. First, denounce the nearest Democrats as liberal pantywaists who deliberately caused the bulb to blow. Second, announce that the Bush administration has proved that the science of electricity is faulty, so no action ever needs to be taken on global light change. Third, keep the need for a new light bulb strictly secret. Fourth, use the money for new light bulbs as an excuse for another tax cut for Bush's wealthy friends. Fifth, explain that you would never "disassemble" about the need for light, you are way too busy spreading freedom and democracy in the Middle East by eliminating freedom and democracy in the United States.
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What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".
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What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish
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What is Donald Trumps favorite song?

ICE ICE Baby......
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What goes 99 thump,99 thump,99 thump?

A centipede with a wooden leg.
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