Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck

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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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Where would an astronaut park his space ship?

A parking meteor!

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A lorry-load of tortoises crashed into a trainload of terrapins,

What a turtle disaster

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How can you tell when a lawyer is lying?

Their lips are moving.
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What's the only difference between Donald Trump and Bozo the Clown?

Bozo The Clown has real hair on his head.
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.

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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.

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