Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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How do they serve smart hamburgers?

On honor rolls.
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What is the world's longest punctuation mark?

The hundred yard dash.
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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How many technical writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, provided there is a programmer around to explain how to do it.
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What is on the ground and also a hundred feet in the air?

A centipede on its back!
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How many accountants does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What kind of answer did you have in mind?
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How many Wardrobe people does it take to screw in a light bulb?

"Nobody said I needed doubles on that!"
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