Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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What do you call lending money to a bison?

A buff-a-loan
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How do you make a million dollars singing jazz?

Start with two million.

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What do you get from a bad-tempered shark?

As far away as possible.
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What is the most important rule in chemistry?

Never lick the spoon!
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How many Bratzlaver Chassidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find one that burned as brightly as the first one.
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I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day

but I couldn't find any.

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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite

He said NaBrO
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