Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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How many mathematicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. He gives it to six Californians, thereby reducing the problem to an earlier joke...

In earlier work, Wiener [1] has shown that one mathematician can change a light bulb.

If k mathematicians can change a light bulb, and if one more simply watches them do it, then k+1 mathematicians will have changed the light bulb.

Therefore, by induction, for all n in the positive integers, n mathematicians can change a light bulb.

Bibliography:

[1] Wiener, Matthew P., <11485@ucbvax>, Re: YALBJ, 1986
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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What do you call a bankrupt Santa?

Saint Nickel-less.
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How many Agents does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Actually, agents will screw in just about anything.
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What do you throw to a drowning lawyer?

His partners.
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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Do you know how to save a drowning lawyer?

Take your foot off his head.
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What is a tree's favorite drink?

Root beer.
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