Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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How many existentialists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to screw it in and one to observe how the light bulb itself symbolizes a single incandescent beacon of subjective reality in a netherworld of endless absurdity reaching out toward a maudlin cosmos of nothingness.
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Why did the singer climb a ladder?

She wanted to reach the high notes!

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Why is a skeleton so mean?

He doesn't have a heart.
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What is a tornado's favorite game?

Twister!
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Two girls were born on the same day, same year, same parents, except they are not twins. Explain:

They are triplets.
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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What do you call a boomerang that won't come back?

A stick.
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What do you do with a dead chemist?

Barium
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