Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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I just watched a program about beavers.

It was the best dam program I've ever seen.
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What did Delaware?

A New Jersey.
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Why should you never tell a secret in a corn field?

Because there are too many ears.
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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?

Because it's pretty basic stuff.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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What do you call a 400-pound gorilla?

Sir.
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