Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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What do you call a loony spaceman?

An astronut.
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How many Bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb??

What's a light bulb?
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Why doesn't Melania Trump want to be the first lady?

Because she would have to move into a smaller house.
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How do you make a million dollars singing jazz?

Start with two million.

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What do ghosts use to wash their hair?

Shamboo!
Frankenstein: Witch can you make me a lemonade?
Witch: Poof you are a lemonade!
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What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?

White vans.
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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