Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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Why did the tree go to the dentist?

It needed a root canal.
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I think I want a job cleaning mirrors.


It's something I could really see myself doing.
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Why are pirates great singers?

They can hit the high C's!

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Making bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon
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I went down the local supermarket, I said, "I want to make a complaint, this vinegar's got lumps in it",

he said, "Those are pickled onions".

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What did the boat say to the pier?

What's up, dock?
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What's the difference between a tick and a lawyer?

The tick falls off when you are dead.
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Why don't lawyers go to the beach?

Cats keep trying to bury them.
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