Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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Where can you find a good lawyer?

In the cemetery
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What did the belly button say just before it left?

I'm outtie here!

Tom: I bet I can make you say purple.
Joe: How?
Tom: What colors are in the American flag?
Joe: Red, white and blue.
Tom: I told you I can make you say red.
Joe: You said purple!
Tom: I told you I could make you say purple!
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How many skunks does it take to make a big stink?

A phew.
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How many data base people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three:

One to write the light bulb removal program,
one to write the light bulb insertion program, and

one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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What would happen if pigs could fly?

The price of bacon would go up.
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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