Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15 Degrees C

and still be 0k?
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Why did Mozart kill his chickens?

Because they always ran around going "Bach! Bach! Bach!"

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How many Christian Scientists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None, but it takes at least one to sit and pray for the old one to go back on.
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How many magicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends on what you want to change it into.
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.
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What did the sub-atmoic ducks say?

Quark!
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