Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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What happened when 500 hares got loose on Main Street?

The police had to comb the area.
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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How many sound engineers does it take to change a light bulb

None, sound engineers don't do lights
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Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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What's a tree's favorite drink?

Rootbeer.
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How many Bratzlaver Hasidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find a bulb that burns as brightly as the old one.
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What did the frog say when he heard "time flies when you are having fun?"

Time is fun when you're having flies
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