Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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What did the octopus say to his girlfriend when he proposed?

Can I have your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage?
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What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?

Wet feet.
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What's round and bad-tempered?

A vicious circle.
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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Why can't you compare Donald Trump to cancer?

Because sometimes you can get rid of cancer.
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H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?

Drinking.
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Why was the ant so confused?

Because all his uncles were "ants"!
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What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?

A pair of Re-Bachs.

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