Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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What do a viola and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is happy when the case is closed

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What does GOP stand for?

Grabs Our Pussy.
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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What's the only difference between Donald Trump and Bozo the Clown?

Bozo The Clown has real hair on his head.
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Why did the girl throw the butter out the window?

She wanted to see a butterfly.
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How do you know an elephant has been in your refrigerator?

There are footprints in the butter.
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What do you call a fairy who doesn't take a bath?

Stinker Bell.
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Do you know how many musicians it takes to change a light bulb?

No, but hum a few bars and I'll fake it.
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