Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?

It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
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Don't trust atoms,

they make up everything.
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Anyone know any jokes about sodium?

Na
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Do you know how many musicians it takes to change a light bulb?

No, but hum a few bars and I'll fake it.
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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What does a witch use to keep her hair up?

Scarespray!
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
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How is Donald Trump going to shut down the Department of Education?

By renaming it Trump University.
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