Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?

It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
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What lies on its back, one hundred feet in the air?

A dead centipede.
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In what school do you learn how to greet people?

Hi school.
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I'll call you later.

Don't call me later, call me Dad.
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

Frostbite.
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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