Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?

It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
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How many Marxists does it take to change a light bulb?

None. The light bulb contains the seeds of its own revolution.
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?

It was two tired.
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What music does cheese listen to?

R & Brie.
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What has four legs and goes "Oom, Oom"?

A cow walking backwards
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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What bone will a dog never eat?

A trombone.
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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