Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?

It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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How many radical feminists does it take to change a light bulb?

That isn't funny!
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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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How many alumnae of (sorority name) does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change it and one to act as chaperone.
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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