Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?

It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
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I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.

It's a total rip-off.
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How do you make an egg laugh?

Tell it a yolk.
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What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?

HeHe
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Kleptomaniacs just don't get puns

they always take things literally.
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How many Real Men does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Real Men aren't afraid of the dark.
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech?

After you die, a leech stops sucking your blood.
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Why do you think Civil Disobedience was such a fantastic essay?

Thoreau editing Thorough.
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