Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?

It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
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A pair of eyebrows walked into a shop. The assistant asked, "Can I help you?"

The eyebrows replied, "no, we are just browsing"
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What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?

Root position cords.

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What kind of eggs does a wicked chicken lay?

Deviled eggs.
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What kind of table has no legs.

A multiplication table.
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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?

It was two tired.
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A sandwich walks into a bar.

The barman says "Sorry we don't serve food in here"

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