Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?

It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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How many 2nd AD's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Uh...standby, I'll check on that.
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Why did the cookie go to the Doctor?

Because he was feeling crumby.
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What do a viola and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is happy when the case is closed

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What happened when the lion ate the comedian?

He felt funny.
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How do chickens get strong?

Egg-cersize.
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How do you get a trumpet to sound like a french horn?

Put your hand in the bell and play a lot of wrong notes.

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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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