Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?

It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
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How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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What is the difference between a lawyer and a rooster?

When a rooster wakes up in the morning, its primal urge is to cluck defiance.
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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How many singers from Nashville does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change it, one to sing about how heartbroken he is at the loss of the old one, one to sing about how madly in love he is with the new one, and one to go "Yee-Hah!" and throw his cowboy hat in the air.
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What is a ghost's favorite pie?

Booberry pie!
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Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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