Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?

It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
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What has legs but doesn't walk?

A bed.
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How many folk singers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.
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How many plastic surgeons does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he'll also want to do something about your nose.
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What breakfast cereal does Frosty the Snowman eat?

Snowflakes.
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What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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How many Microsoft executives does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Bill Gates will just redefine Darkness® as the industry standard.
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How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They have machines to do that now.
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Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?

Just in case he got a hole in one!
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