Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?

It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
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Do you know how many musicians it takes to change a light bulb?

No, but hum a few bars and I'll fake it.
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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What do you call a fat pumpkin?

A plumpkin.
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Anyone know any jokes about sodium?

Na
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A mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno, dos..." and then

*poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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