Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?

It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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What's the tallest building in the world?

The library, because it has the most stories.
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What does GOP stand for?

Grabs Our Pussy.
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Anyone know any jokes about sodium?

Na
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Why did the tomato blush?

Because he saw the salad dressing!
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How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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