Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?

It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
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How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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If H20 is water, what is H204?

Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
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How many Executive Producers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Executive Producers don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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What's green and loud?

A froghorn.
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What do you get when you cross a Cocker Spaniel,
a Poodle and a ghost?

A cocker poodle boo.
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How do you make a fire with two sticks?

Make sure one is a match!
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