Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?

It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
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What did Michael Jackson say to Woody Allen?

Got two fives for a ten?
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What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?

A brick layer!
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What did the laywer name his daughter?

Sue.
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What do you call the best butter on the farm?

A goat.
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What do Russians use for napkins?

Soviets
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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what do you call a tick on the moon?

A luna-tick
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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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