Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?

It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
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How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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Why are pirates great singers?

They can hit the high C's!

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Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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Two aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married.

The ceremony was rubbish - but the reception was brilliant.

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Why can't you compare Donald Trump to cancer?

Because sometimes you can get rid of cancer.
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