Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?

It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
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What do lawyers and sperm have in common?

One in 3,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being.
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What did the banana do when the monkey chased it?

The banana split
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How do you know when its Michael Jacksons bed time ?

When the big hand touches the little hand
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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How can you tell is a singer is at your door?

They can't find the key, and they never know when to come in.
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A lorry-load of tortoises crashed into a trainload of terrapins,

What a turtle disaster

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Where does an elephant pack his luggage?

In his trunk
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How many Psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but the bulb has got to really WANT to change.
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