Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?

It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
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What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?

A try and try and try-ceratops
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What do vampires take when they are sick?

Coffin drops!
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Why did Venus have to get an air conditioner?

Because Mercury moved in.
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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How do they serve smart hamburgers?

On honor rolls.
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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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What's the difference between in-laws and outlaws?

Outlaws are wanted.
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