Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?

It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
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Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball?

Because he had no BODY to go with.
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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What do you call a cat sitting on the beach on Christmas Eve?

Sandy Claws.
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What did the calculator say to the math student?

You can count on me!
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How many referral agents does it take to change a light bulb?

Two: One to screw you out of a fee, and the other to send you to a store where they ran out of bulbs weeks ago.
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Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?

Just in case he got a hole in one!
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