Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?

It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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What pine has the longest needles?

A porcupine.
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What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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What room does a ghost not need?

A living room!
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How many APL hackers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There's a primitive for that.
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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How many supporters of George W. Bush does it take to change a light bulb?

None. First, denounce the nearest Democrats as liberal pantywaists who deliberately caused the bulb to blow. Second, announce that the Bush administration has proved that the science of electricity is faulty, so no action ever needs to be taken on global light change. Third, keep the need for a new light bulb strictly secret. Fourth, use the money for new light bulbs as an excuse for another tax cut for Bush's wealthy friends. Fifth, explain that you would never "disassemble" about the need for light, you are way too busy spreading freedom and democracy in the Middle East by eliminating freedom and democracy in the United States.
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