Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?

It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
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What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from?

Separation anxiety.
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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Why did the basketball player bring his suitcase to his game?

Because he traveled a lot.
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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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How does an Eskimo stick his house together?

With igloo!
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What kind of cats like to go bowling?

Alley cats.
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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How many Californians does it take to change a light bulb?

Six. One to turn the bulb, one for support, and four to relate to the experience.
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