Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?

It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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What do you call a movie about Donald Trump, Bernie Madoff, and Kenneth Lay?

The League of Extraordinary Con Men.
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What did the mother broom say to the baby broom?

It's time to go to sweep.
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Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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What is a ghost's favorite pie?

Booberry pie!
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When should you buy a bird?

When it's going cheep!

Did you hear the one about the crow and the telephone pole?
He wanted to make a long distance caw.
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What did the Donald tell an illegal immigrant who was trying to put out a fire at Trump Tower?

No way Hose A.
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How are an apple and a lawyer alike?

They both look good hanging from a tree.
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