Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?

It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
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What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from?

Separation anxiety.
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How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They have machines to do that now.
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Where do computers go to dance?

The disk-o!
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What happened when the monster ate the electric company?

He was in shock for a week.
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A mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno, dos..." and then

*poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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Why do pandas like old movies?

Because they are black and white.
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