Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?

It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
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Doc, I can't stop singing the 'Green Green Grass of Home'. He said: 'That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome'. 'Is it common?'I asked.

'It's not unusual' he replied.

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What goes around a haunted house and never stops?

A fence.
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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What is the best thing to do if you find a gorilla in your bed?

Sleep somewhere else.
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What did the judge say to the dentist?

Do you swear to pull the tooth, the whole tooth and nothing but the tooth?
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How do you fix a broken Tuba.

With a tuba glue.
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A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.' The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal.

Her husband responds, "But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."

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What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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