Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?

It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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How many fire safety guys dose it take to screw in a light bulb?

One -- but it's an 8 hour minimum.
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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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What is the definition of a "crying shame"?

There was an empty seat.
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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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How many radical feminists does it take to change a light bulb?

That isn't funny!
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How does an attorney sleep?

First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other.
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