Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?

It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
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What kind of cat should you never play games with?

A cheetah
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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What do you see when you look into Trump's eyes?

Answer: The back of his head.
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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Why can't you say a joke while standing on ice?

Because it might crack up!
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What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?

A pair of Re-Bachs.

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What robs you while you're in the bathtub?

A robber ducky.
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What music does cheese listen to?

R & Brie.
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