Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?

It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.

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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.

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What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?

Its shadow

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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.

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How is Donald Trump going to create middle class jobs?

By paying them to cheer for him during campaign events.
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What do clarinetists use for birth control?

Their personalities.

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Do you know what the Queen's father was called?

King.
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Who's richer — the butcher, the baker, or the candlestick maker?

The baker, because he has lots of dough.
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What does the winner of the race lose?

His breath.
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