Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?

It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.

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What do you call a rabbit with beetles all over it?

Bugs Bunny.

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A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"

The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
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How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."

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How is Donald Trump going to shut down the Department of Education?

By renaming it Trump University.
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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What does Melania see in Donald Trump?

"Ten billion dollars and high cholesterol!"
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What do you call a lawyer gone bad.

Senator.
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What time is it when an elephant sits on your bed?

Time to get a new bed

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