Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?

It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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Why did the Blonde stare at the Orange Juice carton?

Because it said CONCENTRATE.
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What do you call a young army?

Infantry.
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vulture?

The lawyer gets frequent flyer miles.
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