Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?

It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
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What goes 99 thump,99 thump,99 thump?

A centipede with a wooden leg.
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What did one owl say to the other owl?

Happy Owl-ween!
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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What is Donald Trumps biggest dilemma now that he's president?

Finding a cabinet position for the thing on his head!
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a herd of buffalo?

The lawyer charges more.
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How do you make a fire with two sticks?

Make sure one is a match!
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What do you call a baby bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear
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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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