Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?

It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
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What kind of music do planets sing?

Neptunes!
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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How many data base people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three:

One to write the light bulb removal program,
one to write the light bulb insertion program, and

one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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Why can't you say a joke while standing on ice?

Because it might crack up!
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