Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?

It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
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How does Donald Trump intend to spice up the Republican Convention?

By relocating it to a casino!
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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What do you call a cow with three legs?

Lean beef.
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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What does a skeleton say before dinner?

Bone appetit!
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How do you make a fire with two sticks?

Make sure one is a match!
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How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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Went to the paper shop -

it had blown away.
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