Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?

It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
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How many tenors does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change the bulb and three to whine "It's too high"
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What is black ,white and red all over?

A sunburnt penguin
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Why did the thief take a shower?

He wanted to make a clean getaway!
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How many supporters of George W. Bush does it take to change a light bulb?

None. First, denounce the nearest Democrats as liberal pantywaists who deliberately caused the bulb to blow. Second, announce that the Bush administration has proved that the science of electricity is faulty, so no action ever needs to be taken on global light change. Third, keep the need for a new light bulb strictly secret. Fourth, use the money for new light bulbs as an excuse for another tax cut for Bush's wealthy friends. Fifth, explain that you would never "disassemble" about the need for light, you are way too busy spreading freedom and democracy in the Middle East by eliminating freedom and democracy in the United States.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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