Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?

It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
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How many Jewish American Princesses does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call Daddy, and one to get the (pick one:) mineral water/Tab.
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What is a baby's motto?

If at first you don't succeed, cry and cry again!
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Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?

coz Donald ducked
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I said to this train driver "I want to go to Paris". He said "Eurostar?"

I said, "I've been on telly but I'm no Dean Martin".
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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to take notes while the other screws it into the faucet.
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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon?

Great food, no atmosphere.
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