Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?

It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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How does Donald Trump intend to spice up the Republican Convention?

By relocating it to a casino!
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How many bikers does it take to change a light bulb?

It takes two. One to change the bulb, and the other to kick the switch.
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The defendant is accused of putting dynamite into a steer.

Abominable! [A Bomb In a Bull]
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?

A chili dog on a bun.
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