Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?

It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
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What did the ghost say to the other ghost?

Do you believe in humans?
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How many investment brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes.
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Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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How many TV evangelists does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But for the message of light to continue, send in your donation today.
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I just watched a program about beavers.

It was the best dam program I've ever seen.
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Why did the gardener plant his money?

He wanted his soil to be rich!
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