Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?

It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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If you don't know what introspection is,

you need to take a long, hard look at yourself.
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What did the Donald tell an illegal immigrant who was trying to put out a fire at Trump Tower?

No way Hose A.
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What goes tick-tock, bow-wow, tick-tock, bow-wow?

A watch dog.
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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What element is derived from a Norse god?

Thorium.
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