Why are kindergarten teachers so good?

They can make little things count.
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What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?

There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs
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What do you call a song sung in an automobile?

A cartoon.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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Where does an elephant pack his luggage?

In his trunk
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How many junkies does it take to change a light bulb?

Oh wow, is it, like, dark, man?
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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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How many gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.
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Why are Muslims worried about Trumps immigration plans?

Once you deport Juan you deport Jamal.
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