Why are kindergarten teachers so good?

They can make little things count.
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Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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Don't trust atoms,

they make up everything.
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What did the drummer get on his I.Q. Test?

Saliva
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What did Donald Trump do before criticizing illegals?

He made sure his pools were clean and his lawns were mowed.
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How many anarchists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

All of them.
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What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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I stayed up all night because I wanted to see where the sun went,

and then it dawned on me.
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Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?

Because it's pretty basic stuff.
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When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?

When you're a mouse.
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