Why are kindergarten teachers so good?

They can make little things count.
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What do lawyers wear in court?

Lawsuits.
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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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Why did the cucumber call 911?

It was in a pickle!
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If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they'd be alloys.
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I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day.

Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.

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Were does a boat go when it is sick?

To the dock.
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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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What nails do carpenters hate to hit?

Fingernails.
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Why are elephants wrinkled?

Because they don't fit on a ironing board
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