Why are kindergarten teachers so good?

They can make little things count.
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What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from?

Separation anxiety.
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How Many lead guitarist does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just steal somebody else's light.
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How do you catch a unique bird?

Unique up on it.
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What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?

It gave a little wine
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What did the octopus say to his girlfriend when he proposed?

Can I have your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage?
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What is an astronauts favorite key on the keyboard?

The space bar!
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What do birds say on Halloween?

Twick o tweet
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How many does it take to screw in a light bulb?

10. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.
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What do you give a lemon in distress?

Lemonade.
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