Why are kindergarten teachers so good?

They can make little things count.
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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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Why did the boy have his girlfriend put in jail?

She stole his heart.
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What did the calculator say to the math student?

You can count on me!
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Some lettuce, an egg, and a faucet had a race. What was the result?

The lettuce came in ahead, the egg got beat and the faucet is still running.
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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What is the difference between a fly and superman?

Superman can fly, but a fly cannot superman!
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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What has a head but no body?

A nail.
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