Why are kindergarten teachers so good?

They can make little things count.
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What do vampires take when they are sick?

Coffin drops!
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What is a boxer's favorite drink?

Punch.
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What's the difference between a vacuum cleaner and a lawyer on a motorcycle?

The vacuum cleaner has the dirt bag on the inside.
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What has 6 eyes but can't see?

3 blind mice.
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
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What did the light bulb say to its mother?

I wuv you watts and watts.
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Two aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married.

The ceremony was rubbish - but the reception was brilliant.

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"I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it,

it was a shitzu."
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