Why are kindergarten teachers so good?

They can make little things count.
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What kind of shoes do bannanas make?

Slippers!
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What nails do carpenters hate to hit?

Fingernails.
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar.

The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"
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What has holes all over and holds water?

A sponge!
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Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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Where can you find a good lawyer?

In the cemetery
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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what do you call a tick on the moon?

A luna-tick
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