Why are kindergarten teachers so good?

They can make little things count.
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What do basketball players and babies have in common?

They both dribble.
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What did the candle say to the other candle?

I'm going out tonight!
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How many bass clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?

All of them
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What happens when you play Beethoven backwards?

He decomposes.

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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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Who makes dinosaur clothes?

A dino-sewer.
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How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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Where did the farmer take the pigs on Saturday afternoon?

He took them to a pignic.
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