Why are kindergarten teachers so good?

They can make little things count.
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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Well, first let's talk about the concept behind this whole "light bulb" thing.
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When Susan's boyfriend proposed marriage to her she said: "I love the simple things in life,

but I don't want one of them for my husband".

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Why was the baseball player arrested in the middle of the game?

He was caught stealing second base.
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Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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What's black and white and red all over?

A sunburnt zebra.
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Where do you go to find a million story building?

You go to the Library!
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What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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