Why are kindergarten teachers so good?

They can make little things count.
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Why are elephants wrinkled?

Because they don't fit on a ironing board
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Where did the sheep go on vacation?

The baaaahamas
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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What do you get if Bach falls off a horse but has the courage to get on again and continue riding?

Bach in the saddle again.

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Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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Why is Donald Trump always seen with Melania?

Because all his other wives support Hillary.
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Why did the spy stay in bed?

Because he was under cover.
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What did the boat say to the pier?

What's up, dock?
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What does new age music sound like played backwards?

New age music.

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