Why are kindergarten teachers so good?

They can make little things count.
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How many members of the United Church of Canada does it take to change a light bulb?

How dare you be so intolerant! So what if the light bulb has chosen an alternative light-style?
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What airline does Donald Trump aspire to fly?

Hair Force One!
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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Three people were in a boat. They all fell off. Only two people ended up with wet hair. Why didn't the other person's hair get wet?

Because he was bald!
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What do you call a pig that's been arrested for dangerous driving?

A road hog.
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Why did the cow go in the spaceship?

It wanted to see the mooooooon!
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What do you call a snowman in the desert?

A puddle!
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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What do you give a lemon in distress?

Lemonade.
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