Why are kindergarten teachers so good?

They can make little things count.
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How do locomotives hear?

Through the engineers.
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How many "pro-lifers" does it take to change a light bulb?

Six: two to screw in the bulb and four to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
None; the bulb will change itself when it is ready.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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What bone will a dog never eat?

A trombone.
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What do fish take to stay healthy?

Vitamin sea.
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How can you tell when a lawyer is lying?

Their lips are moving.
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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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How many Union Lighting Technicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It's not a bulb, it's a globe.
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