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Why are kindergarten teachers so good?
They can make little things count.
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What do you give a pig with a rash?
Oinkment.
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What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?
A rash of good luck.
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What did Donald Trump do before criticizing illegals?
He made sure his pools were clean and his lawns were mowed.
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Why don't bears wear shoes?
What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me
Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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What do you call a baby bear with no teeth?
A gummy bear
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What's the definition of perfect pitch?
When you toss a banjo in the garbage and it hits an accordion.
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What goes 99 thump,99 thump,99 thump?
A centipede with a wooden leg.
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Why did the oreo go to the dentist?
To get his filling!
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