Why are kindergarten teachers so good?

They can make little things count.
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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What is the strongest animal?

A snail because it carries it's home.
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Where do fortune tellers dance?

At the crystal ball.
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What happens when frogs park illegally?

They get toad.
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How many believable, competent, ``just-right-for-the-job'' presidential candidates does it take to change a light bulb?

It's going to be a dark 4 years, isn't it?
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A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"

The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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How many Anglicans does it take to change a lightbulb?

A whole synod. One to move that the bulb be changed while the others debate until the room spins.
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