Why are kindergarten teachers so good?

They can make little things count.
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There were 10 cats in a boat and one jumped out. How many were left?

None, because they were copycats
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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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What do you call a clown who's in jail?

A silicon.
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How many database people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: one to write the light bulb removal program, one to write the light bulb insertion program, and one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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What goes on and on and has an i in the middle?

An onion
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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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