Why are kindergarten teachers so good?

They can make little things count.
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When does New Year's Day come before Christmas Day?

Every year!
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What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?

A brick layer!
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What do you call a dinosaur that smashes everything in its path?

Tyrannosaurus wrecks.
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A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"

The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
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Why did God invent lawyers?

So that real estate agents would have someone to look down on.
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What do you call a loony spaceman?

An astronut.
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A seal walks into a club...
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How many supply-siders does it take to change a light bulb?

None. The darkness will cause the bulb to change by itself.
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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