Why are kindergarten teachers so good?

They can make little things count.
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What do vampires take when they are sick?

Coffin drops!
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How much does a hipster weigh?

An instagram.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.
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How many dull people does it take to change a light bulb?

One.
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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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