Why are kindergarten teachers so good?

They can make little things count.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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How many militarists does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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How many alumnae of (sorority name) does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change it and one to act as chaperone.
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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Well, first let's talk about the concept behind this whole "light bulb" thing.
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What is the best time to go to the dentist?

Tooth-hurty.
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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How many TV evangelists does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But for the message of light to continue, send in your donation today.
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What does GOP stand for?

Grabs Our Pussy.
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What do Santa's elves drink?

Minnesoda.
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