Why are kindergarten teachers so good?

They can make little things count.
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When Susan's boyfriend proposed marriage to her she said: "I love the simple things in life,

but I don't want one of them for my husband".

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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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When is a door not a door?

When it's ajar!
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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What kind of table has no legs.

A multiplication table.
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There were two cows in a paddock. One of the cows says, "moo"

and the other one says, "That's what I was going to say."
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Why was the baseball game so hot?

Because all the fans left!
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What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.
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How do you get a trumpet to sound like a french horn?

Put your hand in the bell and play a lot of wrong notes.

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