Why are kindergarten teachers so good?

They can make little things count.
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How many light bulbs does it take to change a light bulb?

One, if it knows its own Goedel number.
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Why won't sharks attack lawyers?

Professional courtesy.
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Why did the football coach go to the bank?

To get his quarterback.
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How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only two, but the hard part is getting them into the light bulb.
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How do you make a band stand?

Take their chairs away!
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How Many lead guitarist does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just steal somebody else's light.
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What do you call lending money to a bison?

A buff-a-loan
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A lorry-load of tortoises crashed into a trainload of terrapins,

What a turtle disaster

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What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?

A try and try and try-ceratops
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