Why are kindergarten teachers so good?

They can make little things count.
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What is Donald Trump telling all his supporters?


Orange Is The New Black.
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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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And the mermaid, that was weird. What was she wearing in math class?

An Algae-bra
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Whats the difference between Terrorists and Accordion players?

Terrorists have sympathizers

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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?

White vans.
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Why was the cat afraid of a tree?

Because of the bark
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What's the difference between Donald Trump and Ronald Reagan?

If Trump gets Alzheimers his IQ will go up.
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