Why are kindergarten teachers so good?

They can make little things count.
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Why did the boy take a ruler to bed?

To see how long he slept.
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What is the definition of a shame (as in "that's a shame")?

When a busload of lawyers goes off a cliff.
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How do locomotives hear?

Through the engineers.
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What did one eye say to the other?

Between you and me, something smells.
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What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 100?
Your Honor.
What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 50

Senator.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He made an illegal ewe turn.
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What's black and white, black and white, black and white and green?

Three skunks fighting over a pickle

First dog: My master calls me Furball. How about you?
Second Dog: My master calls me Sitboy
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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Silver walks up to Gold in a bar and says, "AU, get outta here!"
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