Why are kindergarten teachers so good?

They can make little things count.
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Why can't Donald Trump be a Lannister?

Because he never pays his debts.
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What's green and loud?

A froghorn.
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How many professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but they get three tech. reports out of it.
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How many Bell Labs vice presidents does it take to change a light bulb?

That's proprietary information. The answer is available from AT&T on payment of license fee (binary only).
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How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one more, guys, I promise.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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How many Jewish renewal rabbis does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends. One, if it's an eco-kosher bulb that isn't going to be lit by electricity generated from nuclear power. Two, as long as a man and a woman rabbi have equal turns putting in the bulb. Three, one to change it, one to do a Buddhist mindfulness practice during the change, and one to document the paradigm shift in a best-selling book called The Jew in the Lightbulb. Four, same as above plus an additional rabbi to study the psycho-halachic implications of such a change and then lead a retreat weekend on the experience.
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I just watched a debate as to which cartoons were better- Disney or Warner Bros.

I have to say it got very animated.
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