Why are kindergarten teachers so good?

They can make little things count.
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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day.

Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.

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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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What do ghosts use to wash their hair?

Shamboo!
Frankenstein: Witch can you make me a lemonade?
Witch: Poof you are a lemonade!
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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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Humpty Trumpty wants a great wall.

Humpty Trumpty wants Mexico to pay for it all.
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How many light bulbs does it take to change a light bulb?

One, if it knows its own Goedel number.
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What do you call a gorilla wearing earmuffs?

Anything you like, he can't hear you.
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What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.
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