Why are kindergarten teachers so good?

They can make little things count.
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How many sound engineers does it take to change a light bulb

None, sound engineers don't do lights
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How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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What is up in the air and wobbles?

A jellycopter
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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Knock, knock
Who's there?
Merry.
Merry who?

Merry Christmas!
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What is a cat's favorite movie?

The sound of Mew-sic
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Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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