Why are kindergarten teachers so good?

They can make little things count.
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What did the peanut say to the walnut?

Nothing. Nuts can't talk.
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Who can hold up a bus with one hand?

A crossing guard.
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How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.
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Middle C, E-Flat and G walk into a bar.

Sorry, says the barman, we don't serve minors.
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Why did the bird get a ticket?

It broke the law of gravity!
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How does the ocean say hello?

It waves.
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What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?

2 Na
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What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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Where do horses live?

In the neigh-borhood.
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