Why are kindergarten teachers so good?

They can make little things count.
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How many skunks does it take to make a big stink?

A phew.
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How many Psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but the bulb has got to really WANT to change.
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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What goes under your feet and over your head?

A jump rope.
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What is Donald Trumps biggest dilemma now that he's president?

Finding a cabinet position for the thing on his head!
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When does New Year's Day come before Christmas Day?

Every year!
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Why did the cucumber call 911?

It was in a pickle!
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I'm sorry we can't let the elephants back into the public pool.

They keep dropping their trunks.
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How many referral agents does it take to change a light bulb?

Two: One to screw you out of a fee, and the other to send you to a store where they ran out of bulbs weeks ago.
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