Why are kindergarten teachers so good?

They can make little things count.
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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Trump: "Foreign Policy?,

if you mess with the United States, there will be hell toupee."

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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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How many referral agents does it take to change a light bulb?

Two: One to screw you out of a fee, and the other to send you to a store where they ran out of bulbs weeks ago.
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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How do hair stylists speed up their job?

They take short cuts!
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Don't trust atoms,

they make up everything.
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What is worse then having one baby screaming?

Two babies screaming!
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How many IBM PC owners does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but she/he'll have to go out and buy the light bulb adaptor card first, which is extra.
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