Why are kindergarten teachers so good?

They can make little things count.
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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How does the ocean say hello?

It waves.
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What is up in the air and wobbles?

A jellycopter
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If you drop a white hat into the Red Sea, what does it become?

Wet.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech?

After you die, a leech stops sucking your blood.
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How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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