Why are kindergarten teachers so good?

They can make little things count.
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What starts with E, ends with E and only has one letter?

An envelope.
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How many Italians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

I dunno exactly, but my brother's girlfriend's father's boss's secretary's sister's next-door neighbors' priest's cousin's union shop steward's uncle's Knights Of Columbus club Sergeant-of-Arms's nephew's best friend did it real cheap for me once.
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How many bass clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?

All of them
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What is the best thing to do if you find a gorilla in your bed?

Sleep somewhere else.
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Whats the difference between Terrorists and Accordion players?

Terrorists have sympathizers

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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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How many Wardrobe people does it take to screw in a light bulb?

"Nobody said I needed doubles on that!"
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a herd of buffalo?

The lawyer charges more.
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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