Why are kindergarten teachers so good?

They can make little things count.
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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Why did the pianist keep banging his head against the keys?

He was playing by ear

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How many Agents does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Actually, agents will screw in just about anything.
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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What is worse then having one baby screaming?

Two babies screaming!
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There are 10 kinds of people in the world.

Those who read binary and those who don't.
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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What did the boat say to the pier?

What's up, dock?
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