Why are kindergarten teachers so good?

They can make little things count.
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How many Jewish renewal rabbis does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends. One, if it's an eco-kosher bulb that isn't going to be lit by electricity generated from nuclear power. Two, as long as a man and a woman rabbi have equal turns putting in the bulb. Three, one to change it, one to do a Buddhist mindfulness practice during the change, and one to document the paradigm shift in a best-selling book called The Jew in the Lightbulb. Four, same as above plus an additional rabbi to study the psycho-halachic implications of such a change and then lead a retreat weekend on the experience.
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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What does a skeleton say before dinner?

Bone appetit!
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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.
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How does an Eskimo stick his house together?

With igloo!
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What's a light-year?

The same as a regular year, but with less calories.
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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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What is worse then having one baby screaming?

Two babies screaming!
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