Why are kindergarten teachers so good?

They can make little things count.
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What do frogs order when they go to a restaurant?

French Flies.
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What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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What do you throw to a drowning lawyer?

His partners.
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How is Donald Trump going to create middle class jobs?

By paying them to cheer for him during campaign events.
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A Bhuddist monk goes to a hotdog stand

and says make me one with everything.
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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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I backed a horse last week at ten to one.

It came in at quarter past four.

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What kind of shoes do bannanas make?

Slippers!
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What kind of pants do ghosts wear?

Boo-Jeans.
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