Why are kindergarten teachers so good?

They can make little things count.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?

When you're a mouse.
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What do you call a sad bird?

A bluebird!
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What is the chemical formula for "coffee"?

CoFe2
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What do you call a guy who's born in Columbus, grows up in Cleveland, and then dies in Cincinnati?

Dead.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a gigolo?

A gigolo only screws one person at a time.
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A man walks into a bar with a roll of tarmac under his arm and says:

"Pint please, and one for the road."

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What robs you while you're in the bathtub?

A robber ducky.
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When Susan's boyfriend proposed marriage to her she said: "I love the simple things in life,

but I don't want one of them for my husband".

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