Why are kindergarten teachers so good?

They can make little things count.
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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Why are babies good at soccer?

Because they dribble!
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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Why did the bird get a ticket?

It broke the law of gravity!
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What do you call 25 skydiving lawyers?

Skeet.
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What is the most important rule in chemistry?

Never lick the spoon!
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What is Donald Trumps biggest dilemma now that he's president?

Finding a cabinet position for the thing on his head!
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How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
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