Why are kindergarten teachers so good?

They can make little things count.
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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I said to this train driver "I want to go to Paris". He said "Eurostar?"

I said, "I've been on telly but I'm no Dean Martin".
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What do you call a fish without an eye?

Fsh
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Why do seagulls fly over the sea?

Because if they flew over the bay, they'd be baygulls!
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Why shouldn't Donald Trump rag on illegal immigrants?

Because an undocumented worker has been living on his head for the past 2 decades!
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What does Santa like to do in the garden?

Hoe, hoe, hoe!
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How many Real Men does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Real Men aren't afraid of the dark.
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What's green and loud?

A froghorn.
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How does an Eskimo stick his house together?

With igloo!
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