Why are kindergarten teachers so good?

They can make little things count.
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What do lawyers wear in court?

Lawsuits.
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Why are elephants wrinkled?

Because they don't fit on a ironing board
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What is the best thing to do if you find a gorilla in your bed?

Sleep somewhere else.
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Middle C, E-Flat and G walk into a bar.

Sorry, says the barman, we don't serve minors.
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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What did the class clown take a computer to school?

Her mom told her to bring in an apple for the teacher.
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What did the ghost say to the other ghost?

Do you believe in humans?
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What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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What is Donald Trumps biggest dilemma now that he's president?

Finding a cabinet position for the thing on his head!
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