Why are kindergarten teachers so good?

They can make little things count.
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah;

I thought, "He's trying to pull a fast one".

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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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How many Bratzlaver Hasidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find a bulb that burns as brightly as the old one.
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Why did the football coach go to the bank?

To get his quarterback.
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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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Did you hear about Michael Jackson's latest record?

"Feel the World."
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