Why are kindergarten teachers so good?

They can make little things count.
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What do you call a cat sitting on the beach on Christmas Eve?

Sandy Claws.
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What did one egg say to the other egg?

Let's get crackin'!
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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In what school do you learn how to greet people?

Hi school.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
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Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?

Because it's pretty basic stuff.
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How many record producers does it take to change a lightbulb?

Two… one to tell the engineer to do it, the other to say "I don't know, what do you think?"

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How many ergonomicists does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. Four to decide which way the bulb ought to turn, and . . .
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