Why are kindergarten teachers so good?

They can make little things count.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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How are an apple and a lawyer alike?

They both look good hanging from a tree.
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What's the only difference between Donald Trump and Bozo the Clown?

Bozo The Clown has real hair on his head.
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What is a ghost's favorite pie?

Booberry pie!
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Have you heard the joke about the butter?

I better not tell you, it might spread.
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How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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What kind of eggs does a wicked chicken lay?

Deviled eggs.
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How many lesbians does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: One to screw it in, and two to talk about how much better it is than with a man.
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What did the porcupine say to the cactus?

Is that you mommy?
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