Why are kindergarten teachers so good?

They can make little things count.
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What do Russians use for napkins?

Soviets
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What do you give a pig with a rash?

Oinkment.
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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Why was the math book sad?

It had too many problems.
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

Because he was caught tweeting on a test.
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How many French Horn players does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he/she will spend hours checking for technical problems.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a liar?

The pronunciation.
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How do Vikings send secret messages?

Norse code.
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Why did the sun go to school?

To get brighter!
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