Why are kindergarten teachers so good?

They can make little things count.
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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How many sound engineers does it take to change a light bulb

None, sound engineers don't do lights
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Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?

Just in case he got a hole in one!
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How many big black monoliths does it take to change a light bulb?

Sorry, light bulbs are an evolutionary dead end.
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What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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