Why are kindergarten teachers so good?

They can make little things count.
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Why can't Donald Trump be a Lannister?

Because he never pays his debts.
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How can you tell is a singer is at your door?

They can't find the key, and they never know when to come in.
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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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How do you catch a squirrel?

Climb up a tree and act like a nut
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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What is a shark's favorite sandwich?

Peanut butter and jellyfish.
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Why did New Jersey get all the toxic waste and California all the lawyers?

New Jersey got to pick first.
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How many actors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. They don't like to share the spotlight.
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