Why are lawyers like nuclear weapons?

If one side has one, the other side has to get one. Once launched, they cannot be recalled. When they land, they screw up everything forever.
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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What does Melania see in Donald Trump?

"Ten billion dollars and high cholesterol!"
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What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?

2 Na
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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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Why did the boy take a ladder to school?

He wanted to go to high school!
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How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away his credit card
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Trump: "It's not a toupee,

I just found the Bush that Jeb lost."
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"I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it,

it was a shitzu."
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Who makes dinosaur clothes?

A dino-sewer.
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