Why are lawyers like nuclear weapons?

If one side has one, the other side has to get one. Once launched, they cannot be recalled. When they land, they screw up everything forever.
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?

HeHe
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Why is b always cool?

Because it's between ac.
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That girl said she knew me from the vegitarian club,

but I'd never seen herbivore [her before]
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What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?

A brick layer!
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What did the guitarist do when his teacher told him to turn his amplifier on?

He caressed it softly and told it that he loved it

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What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.
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What clothes does a house wear?

Address.
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Why did the cow go in the spaceship?

It wanted to see the mooooooon!
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