Why are lawyers like nuclear weapons?

If one side has one, the other side has to get one. Once launched, they cannot be recalled. When they land, they screw up everything forever.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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What's round and bad-tempered?

A vicious circle.
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There's two fish in a tank, and one says "How do you drive this thing?"
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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15 Degrees C

and still be 0k?
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Why does a giraffe have such a long neck?

Because his feet stink
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What kind of music do planets sing?

Neptunes!
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What do you call a cow in a tornado?

A milkshake
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