Why are lawyers like nuclear weapons?

If one side has one, the other side has to get one. Once launched, they cannot be recalled. When they land, they screw up everything forever.
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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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How do you get a trombonist off of your porch?

Pay him for the pizza

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What did the baby corn ask the mother corn?

Where is pop corn?
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What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?

Its shadow

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How many archaeologists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One team, but they'll label every piece of the old one, mark its location in the room, and write a detailed description before determining that it was used to store cornmeal.

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What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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What is "HIJKLMNO"?

H2O.
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What goes tick-tock, bow-wow, tick-tock, bow-wow?

A watch dog.

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball?

Because he had no BODY to go with.
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