Why are lawyers like nuclear weapons?

If one side has one, the other side has to get one. Once launched, they cannot be recalled. When they land, they screw up everything forever.
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What did the belly button say just before it left?

I'm outtie here!

Tom: I bet I can make you say purple.
Joe: How?
Tom: What colors are in the American flag?
Joe: Red, white and blue.
Tom: I told you I can make you say red.
Joe: You said purple!
Tom: I told you I could make you say purple!
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What has holes all over and holds water?

A sponge!
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There was an explosion at a cheese factory in France...

all that was left was de brie.
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Why did the cow go to outer space?

To visit the milky way.
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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How many TV evangelists does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But for the message of light to continue, send in your donation today.
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How many Feminists does it take to change a light bulb?

That's not funny!!!
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In what school do you learn how to greet people?

Hi school.
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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