Why are lawyers like nuclear weapons?

If one side has one, the other side has to get one. Once launched, they cannot be recalled. When they land, they screw up everything forever.
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What's the only difference between Donald Trump and Bozo the Clown?

Bozo The Clown has real hair on his head.
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How do you make Halloween great again?

By carving a Trumpkin.
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What is Donald Trump "really" trying to do?

Make America Hate Again.
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Which is the most religious cheese?

Emmental...it's very hol(e)y...
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What has a lot of keys but can not open any doors?

A piano.
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What happened when the lion ate the comedian?

He felt funny.
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What did one flower say to the other flower?

Hey, bud!
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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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