Why are lawyers like nuclear weapons?

If one side has one, the other side has to get one. Once launched, they cannot be recalled. When they land, they screw up everything forever.
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Why did the elephant leave the circus?

He was tired of working for peanuts.
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What goes around a haunted house and never stops?

A fence.
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What bird can lift the most?

A crane.
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What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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What is the best thing to do if you find a gorilla in your bed?

Sleep somewhere else.
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Why do seagulls fly over the sea?

Because if they flew over the bay, they'd be baygulls!
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How many Agents does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Actually, agents will screw in just about anything.
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When did the fly fly?

When the spider spied her!
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What do you call a dinosaur that smashes everything in its path?

Tyrannosaurus wrecks.
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