Why are lawyers like nuclear weapons?

If one side has one, the other side has to get one. Once launched, they cannot be recalled. When they land, they screw up everything forever.
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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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What did one wall say to the other?

I'll meet you at the corner.
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What do planets like to read?

Comet books!
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How do you fix a broken brass instrument?

With a Tuba glue.

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Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon?

Great food, no atmosphere.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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What would happen if pigs could fly?

The price of bacon would go up.
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