Why are lawyers like nuclear weapons?

If one side has one, the other side has to get one. Once launched, they cannot be recalled. When they land, they screw up everything forever.
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What kind of underwear to reporters wear?

News briefs.
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There's a fine line between a numerator and denominator.

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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs
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What did the judge say to the dentist?

Do you swear to pull the tooth, the whole tooth and nothing but the tooth?
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How many magicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends on what you want to change it into.
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Where does a ten ton elephant sit?

Anywhere it wants to
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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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