Why are lawyers like nuclear weapons?

If one side has one, the other side has to get one. Once launched, they cannot be recalled. When they land, they screw up everything forever.
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What do you see when you look into Trump's eyes?

Answer: The back of his head.
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What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?

A try and try and try-ceratops
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Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?

It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
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What kind of lights did Noah have on the ark?

Flood lights!
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What is black ,white and red all over?

A sunburnt penguin
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
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What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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How many law professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Hell, you need 250 just to lobby for the research grant.
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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