Why are lawyers like nuclear weapons?

If one side has one, the other side has to get one. Once launched, they cannot be recalled. When they land, they screw up everything forever.
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Why did the chicken cross the playground?

To get to the other slide!
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What do you call snake with no clothes on?

Snaked.
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How many Sound Recordists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

WHAT?
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What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?

HeHe
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What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from?

Separation anxiety.
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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck
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What do you call a fish without an eye?

Fsh
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How many Bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb??

What's a light bulb?
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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