Why are lawyers like nuclear weapons?

If one side has one, the other side has to get one. Once launched, they cannot be recalled. When they land, they screw up everything forever.
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck

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What did the frog say when he heard "time flies when you are having fun?"

Time is fun when you're having flies

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What's a tree's favorite drink?

Rootbeer.
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Why don't honest people need beds?

They don't lie.
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What can you hold without using your hands?

Your breath!
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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What do frogs order when they go to a restaurant?

French Flies.

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How do hair stylists speed up their job?

They take short cuts!
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How many Zen masters does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A tree in a golden forest.


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