Why are lawyers like nuclear weapons?

If one side has one, the other side has to get one. Once launched, they cannot be recalled. When they land, they screw up everything forever.
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Why are Muslims worried about Trumps immigration plans?

Once you deport Juan you deport Jamal.
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What's round and bad-tempered?

A vicious circle.
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What does Santa like to do in the garden?

Hoe, hoe, hoe!
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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What do you call two ants that run away to get married?

Ant-elopes!
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What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.
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Why does everybody like Frosty the Snowman?

Because he is so cool!
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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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