Why are lawyers like nuclear weapons?

If one side has one, the other side has to get one. Once launched, they cannot be recalled. When they land, they screw up everything forever.
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Why are babies good at soccer?

Because they dribble!
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Humpty Trumpty wants a great wall.

Humpty Trumpty wants Mexico to pay for it all.
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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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What do you call two ants that run away to get married?

Ant-elopes!
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Customer: "Do you have alligator shoes?"

Clerk: "Yes, sir. What size does your alligator wear?"
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Dorian Gray Jokes,

they never get old!
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What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?

Its shadow
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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