Why are lawyers like nuclear weapons?

If one side has one, the other side has to get one. Once launched, they cannot be recalled. When they land, they screw up everything forever.
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Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly. But when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank,

proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it.

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Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?

coz Donald ducked
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Why did the banana split?

It saw the ginger snap.
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How do you make Holy water?

Take regular water and just boil the hell out of it.
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Where do cars go for a swim?

At the carpool!
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What do fish take to stay healthy?

Vitamin sea.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon
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What did Cinderella say to the photographer?

Some day my prints will come.
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There's two fish in a tank, and one says "How do you drive this thing?"
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