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Why are lawyers like nuclear weapons?
If one side has one, the other side has to get one. Once launched, they cannot be recalled. When they land, they screw up everything forever.
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Why do hummingbirds hum?
Because they don't know the words.
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What do you call a story about a broken pencil?
Pointless
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Why did a boy thow a clock out the window?
To see time fly.
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Where do fortune tellers dance?
At the crystal ball.
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What did the candle say to the other candle?
I'm going out tonight!
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What happened when the lion ate the comedian?
He felt funny.
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What is the best thing to do if you find a gorilla in your bed?
Sleep somewhere else.
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What is a cat's favorite breakfast?
Mice krispies
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How many big black monoliths does it take to change a light bulb?
Sorry, light bulbs are an evolutionary dead end.
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