Why are lawyers like nuclear weapons?

If one side has one, the other side has to get one. Once launched, they cannot be recalled. When they land, they screw up everything forever.
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How do you catch a unique bird?

Unique up on it.
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What two things can you not have for breakfast?

Lunch and dinner.
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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What do you call a fish without an eye?

Fsh
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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There are 10 kinds of people in the world.

Those who read binary and those who don't.
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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