Why are lawyers like nuclear weapons?

If one side has one, the other side has to get one. Once launched, they cannot be recalled. When they land, they screw up everything forever.
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house?

Hope it's Halloween!!
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What do you call a beautiful woman on a trombonist's arm?

A tattoo.

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How many polite New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Both of them.
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What is "HIJKLMNO"?

H2O.
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What's the tallest building in the world?

The library, because it has the most stories.
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What do you call snake with no clothes on?

Snaked.
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