Why are lawyers like nuclear weapons?

If one side has one, the other side has to get one. Once launched, they cannot be recalled. When they land, they screw up everything forever.
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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How many "pro-lifers" does it take to change a light bulb?

Six: two to screw in the bulb and four to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
None; the bulb will change itself when it is ready.
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What kind of balls do dragons play soccer with?

Fireballs.
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball?

Because he had no BODY to go with.
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There was a rooster sitting on a top of a barn. If it laid an egg, which way would it roll?

Roosters don't lay eggs!
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How can you tell is a singer is at your door?

They can't find the key, and they never know when to come in.
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What did Michael Jackson tell the little boy?

"The way you make me feel, it really turns me on!"
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What did the judge say to the dentist?

Do you swear to pull the tooth, the whole tooth and nothing but the tooth?
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