Why are lawyers like nuclear weapons?

If one side has one, the other side has to get one. Once launched, they cannot be recalled. When they land, they screw up everything forever.
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What's black and white, black and white, black and white and green?

Three skunks fighting over a pickle

First dog: My master calls me Furball. How about you?
Second Dog: My master calls me Sitboy
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Why did the elephant leave the circus?

He was tired of working for peanuts.
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What happened when the lion ate the comedian?

He felt funny.
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What is the easiest way to count a herd of cattle?

With a cowculator.
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What's a frog's favorite drink?

Croak-a-cola.
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What do have when a lawyer is buried up to his neck in sand?

Not enough sand.
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What do Russians use for napkins?

Soviets
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What do you call a scared train?

A fright train!
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H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?

Drinking.
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