Why are lawyers like nuclear weapons?

If one side has one, the other side has to get one. Once launched, they cannot be recalled. When they land, they screw up everything forever.
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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The stormtrooper was enjoying the Wookie steak,

but it was a little Chewie.
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Where does a ten ton elephant sit?

Anywhere it wants to
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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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What did one hair say to the other?

It takes two to tangle!
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What do you get if Bach falls off a horse but has the courage to get on again and continue riding?

Bach in the saddle again.

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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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