Why are lawyers like nuclear weapons?

If one side has one, the other side has to get one. Once launched, they cannot be recalled. When they land, they screw up everything forever.
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Why did Mozart sell his chickens?

Because they kept saying "bach bach"!
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?

A chili dog on a bun.
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How many Klingons does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two. One to screw it in, and one to stab the other in the back and take all the credit.
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What 7 letters did Lizzy say when she opened the refrigerator and found it empty?

O I C U R M T
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The defendant is accused of putting dynamite into a steer.

Abominable! [A Bomb In a Bull]
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What's green and loud?

A froghorn.
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Why can't you compare Donald Trump to cancer?

Because sometimes you can get rid of cancer.
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What has 6 eyes but can't see?

3 blind mice.
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