Why are lawyers like nuclear weapons?

If one side has one, the other side has to get one. Once launched, they cannot be recalled. When they land, they screw up everything forever.
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Why did the skeleton cross the road?

To get to the body shop.
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What do you call lending money to a bison?

A buff-a-loan
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How many technical writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, provided there is a programmer around to explain how to do it.
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Making bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon
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I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase.

I can hardly contain myself.

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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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What did the momma buffalo say to her son before he went to school?

Bison
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I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with

but I've been trippin' all day.
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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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