Why are lawyers like nuclear weapons?

If one side has one, the other side has to get one. Once launched, they cannot be recalled. When they land, they screw up everything forever.
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Why was the sand wet?

Because the sea weed
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What goes on and on and has an i in the middle?

An onion
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Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?

It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
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How many sheep do you need to make a sweater?

I don't know. I didn't think sheep could knit
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Can you use pink,yellow and green in a sentence?

. The phone went green green, and I pinked it up and said yellow.
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Why don't aliens celebrate Chistmas?

Because they don't want to give away their presence.
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"I said to the Gym instructor "Can you teach me to do the splits?" He said, "How flexible are you?"

I said, "I can't make Tuesdays"

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What did one egg say to the other egg?

You crack me up!
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How many Bratzlaver Hasidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find a bulb that burns as brightly as the old one.
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