Why are lawyers like nuclear weapons?

If one side has one, the other side has to get one. Once launched, they cannot be recalled. When they land, they screw up everything forever.
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What does Donald Trump say when he can't find his Viagra?

"The erection is rigged!"
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What has holes all over and holds water?

A sponge!
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What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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What do you call an exploding monkey?

A baboom
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Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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What did the judge say to the dentist?

Do you swear to pull the tooth, the whole tooth and nothing but the tooth?
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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team?

She ran away from the ball.
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