Why are lawyers like nuclear weapons?

If one side has one, the other side has to get one. Once launched, they cannot be recalled. When they land, they screw up everything forever.
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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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Why was the sand wet?

Because the sea weed
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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If H20 is water, what is H204?

Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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Where do mice park their boats?

At the hickory dickory dock.
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