Why are lawyers like nuclear weapons?

If one side has one, the other side has to get one. Once launched, they cannot be recalled. When they land, they screw up everything forever.
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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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How do you stop a dog barking in the back seat of a car?

Put him in the front seat.
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What is a boxer's favorite drink?

Punch.
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What is a ghost's favorite fruit?

Booberries!
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How do they serve smart hamburgers?

On honor rolls.
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What goes around a haunted house and never stops?

A fence.
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What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo?

Big holes all over Australia!
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What's black and white and red all over?

A sunburnt zebra.
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