Why are lawyers like nuclear weapons?

If one side has one, the other side has to get one. Once launched, they cannot be recalled. When they land, they screw up everything forever.
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Why did the elephant leave the circus?

He was tired of working for peanuts.
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How many alumnae of (sorority name) does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change it and one to act as chaperone.
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Whats Donald Trump's favorite nation?

Discrimination.
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What do frogs order when they go to a restaurant?

French Flies.
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What does the toast wear to bed?

Jammies!
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What is the difference between a fly and superman?

Superman can fly, but a fly cannot superman!
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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How can you get four suits for a dollar?


Buy a deck of cards.
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What did the little girl say when she had to choose between a tricycle and a candy bar?

"Trike or Treat"?
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