Why are lawyers like nuclear weapons?

If one side has one, the other side has to get one. Once launched, they cannot be recalled. When they land, they screw up everything forever.
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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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How many Marxists does it take to change a light bulb?

None. The light bulb contains the seeds of its own revolution.
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What is a ghost's favorite fruit?

Booberries!
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Have you seen the new HGTV show about the Whitehouse makeover?

It's called "Trump It or Dump It".
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When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?

When you're a mouse.
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How many Jewish renewal rabbis does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends. One, if it's an eco-kosher bulb that isn't going to be lit by electricity generated from nuclear power. Two, as long as a man and a woman rabbi have equal turns putting in the bulb. Three, one to change it, one to do a Buddhist mindfulness practice during the change, and one to document the paradigm shift in a best-selling book called The Jew in the Lightbulb. Four, same as above plus an additional rabbi to study the psycho-halachic implications of such a change and then lead a retreat weekend on the experience.
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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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Why did a boy thow a clock out the window?

To see time fly.
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How many junkies does it take to screw in a light bulb?

``Oh wow, is it like dark, man?''
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