Why are lawyers like nuclear weapons?

If one side has one, the other side has to get one. Once launched, they cannot be recalled. When they land, they screw up everything forever.
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What did the momma buffalo say to her son before he went to school?

Bison
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?

When you're a mouse.
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A pair of eyebrows walked into a shop. The assistant asked, "Can I help you?"

The eyebrows replied, "no, we are just browsing"
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What's green and loud?

A froghorn.
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Where do horses live?

In the neigh-borhood.
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How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: one to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.
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What did the octopus say to his girlfriend when he proposed?

Can I have your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage?
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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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