Why are lawyers like nuclear weapons?

If one side has one, the other side has to get one. Once launched, they cannot be recalled. When they land, they screw up everything forever.
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Why did the melon jump into the lake?

It wanted to be a watermelon.
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What do Michael Jackson and x-boxs have in common?

They're both plastic and little boys turn them on.
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How many teamsters does it take to change a light bulb?

``Twelve. Ya got a problem with that?''
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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What do you get when you cross a Cocker Spaniel,
a Poodle and a ghost?

A cocker poodle boo.
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How many pre-med students does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: One to change the bulb and four to pull the ladder out from under him/her.
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What has three letters and starts with gas?

A car
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Don't trust atoms,

they make up everything.
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What does a witch use to keep her hair up?

Scarespray!
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