Why are lawyers like nuclear weapons?

If one side has one, the other side has to get one. Once launched, they cannot be recalled. When they land, they screw up everything forever.
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Why can't Donald Trump be a Lannister?

Because he never pays his debts.
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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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When did the fly fly?

When the spider spied her!
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Why don't mountains get cold in the winter?

They wear snowcaps.
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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How many believable, competent, ``just-right-for-the-job'' presidential candidates does it take to change a light bulb?

It's going to be a dark 4 years, isn't it?
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Why would Snow White make a great judge?

She was the fairest in the land.
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Why does everybody like Frosty the Snowman?

Because he is so cool!
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How many Yuppies (WASPs) does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call the electrician, and one to mix the drinks.
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