Why are lawyers like nuclear weapons?

If one side has one, the other side has to get one. Once launched, they cannot be recalled. When they land, they screw up everything forever.
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What nails do carpenters hate to hit?

Fingernails.
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How do chickens get strong?

Egg-cersize.
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What do you call a 400-pound gorilla?

Sir.
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What does new age music sound like played backwards?

New age music.

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How many editors of Poor Richard's Almanac does it take to replace a light bulb?

"Many hands make light work."
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What does an octopus wear when it gets cold?

A coat of arms.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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How many BBS jokers does it take to tell yet another LBJ?

1,622. One to tell the original joke, and the rest to submit give some minor variation of it! For example:
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What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?

HeHe
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