Why are lawyers like nuclear weapons?

If one side has one, the other side has to get one. Once launched, they cannot be recalled. When they land, they screw up everything forever.
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What does new age music sound like played backwards?

New age music.

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How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.

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What's black and white and red all over?

A blushing zebra.

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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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A man walks into a bar with a roll of tarmac under his arm and says:

"Pint please, and one for the road."

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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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What did the ghost say to the other ghost?

Do you believe in humans?
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If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they'd be alloys.


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A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.' The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal.

Her husband responds, "But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."

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