Why are lawyers like nuclear weapons?

If one side has one, the other side has to get one. Once launched, they cannot be recalled. When they land, they screw up everything forever.
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What's a frog's favorite drink?

Croak-a-cola.
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How did the butcher introduce his wife?

Meet Patty.
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How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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What is a shark's favorite sandwich?

Peanut butter and jellyfish.
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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Why did the Blonde stare at the Orange Juice carton?

Because it said CONCENTRATE.
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How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They have machines to do that now.
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What do you call a belt made out of watches?

A waist of time!
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