Why are lawyers like nuclear weapons?

If one side has one, the other side has to get one. Once launched, they cannot be recalled. When they land, they screw up everything forever.
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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How do chickens get strong?

Egg-cersize.
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What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.
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Why are the floors of basketball courts always so damp?

The players dribble a lot.
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

He got caught peeping on a test.
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What element is derived from a Norse god?

Thorium.
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What did Delaware?

A New Jersey.
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What did the ghost say to the other ghost?

Do you believe in humans?
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