Why are lawyers like nuclear weapons?

If one side has one, the other side has to get one. Once launched, they cannot be recalled. When they land, they screw up everything forever.
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What do lawyers wear in court?

Lawsuits.
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What do you call a baby bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear

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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g

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What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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What is a frog's favorite year?

Leap Year

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What do you call a fish without an eye?

Fsh

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Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.

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What goes tick-tock, bow-wow, tick-tock, bow-wow?

A watch dog.

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What is always hot in the refrigerator?

Chili

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