Why are lawyers like nuclear weapons?

If one side has one, the other side has to get one. Once launched, they cannot be recalled. When they land, they screw up everything forever.
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What do you call snake with no clothes on?

Snaked.
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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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Do you know how many musicians it takes to change a light bulb?

No, but hum a few bars and I'll fake it.
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Why doesn't Donald Trump sweat like Marco Rubio?

Because he has such yuuuuge fans!
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A pair of eyebrows walked into a shop. The assistant asked, "Can I help you?"

The eyebrows replied, "no, we are just browsing"
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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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What do moms dress up as on Halloween?

Mummies!
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What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis
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How many skunks does it take to make a big stink?

A phew.
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