Why are lawyers like nuclear weapons?

If one side has one, the other side has to get one. Once launched, they cannot be recalled. When they land, they screw up everything forever.
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well,

I was amazed, I never knew they worked.

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How many teamsters does it take to change a light bulb?

``Twelve. Ya got a problem with that?''
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Two aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married.

The ceremony was rubbish - but the reception was brilliant.

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What do you get when you cross a roll of wool and a kangaroo?

A woolen jumper
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What do you call a scared train?

A fright train!
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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When the attendant asked the photon if it had any bags to check

It said Nah, I'm traveling light.
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What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house?

Hope it's Halloween!!
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