Why are lawyers like nuclear weapons?

If one side has one, the other side has to get one. Once launched, they cannot be recalled. When they land, they screw up everything forever.
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What do you call a king who is only 12 inches tall?

A ruler.
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What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 100?
Your Honor.
What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 50

Senator.
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Which is the most religious cheese?

Emmental...it's very hol(e)y...
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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Who makes dinosaur clothes?

A dino-sewer.
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What does a cat call a hummingbird?

Fast food.
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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Now that Macy's has severed ties, with Donald Trump, how can the average American look like the President?

By hunting and killing their own hair piece.
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