Why are lawyers like nuclear weapons?

If one side has one, the other side has to get one. Once launched, they cannot be recalled. When they land, they screw up everything forever.
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What is a shark's favorite sandwich?

Peanut butter and jellyfish.
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What is a tree's favorite drink?

Root beer.
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Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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Which reindeer likes to clean?

Comet
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What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?

A spelling bee!
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Why does a stork stand on one leg?

Because it would fall over if it lifted the other one.
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What element is derived from a Norse god?

Thorium.
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What do you get if Bach falls off a horse but has the courage to get on again and continue riding?

Bach in the saddle again.

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Making bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon
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