Why are lawyers like nuclear weapons?

If one side has one, the other side has to get one. Once launched, they cannot be recalled. When they land, they screw up everything forever.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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How many Yuppies (WASPs) does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call the electrician, and one to mix the drinks.
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Don't trust atoms,

they make up everything.
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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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What do you call two banana peels?

Slippers.
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What do you get when you cross a Cocker Spaniel,
a Poodle and a ghost?

A cocker poodle boo.
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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How many New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None 'o yo' fuckin' business!
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