Why are lawyers like nuclear weapons?

If one side has one, the other side has to get one. Once launched, they cannot be recalled. When they land, they screw up everything forever.
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What is only a small box but can weigh over a hundred pounds?

A scale.
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Dorian Gray Jokes,

they never get old!
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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What do you call a clown who's in jail?

A silicon.
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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What do you call a crate of ducks?

A box of quackers.
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A pair of eyebrows walked into a shop. The assistant asked, "Can I help you?"

The eyebrows replied, "no, we are just browsing"
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How many subscribers to AOL does it take to change a light bulb?

What? You can change light bulbs?
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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