Why are Muslims worried about Trumps immigration plans?

Once you deport Juan you deport Jamal.
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What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vampire?

A vampire only sucks blood at night.
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How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."

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My pastor, he ate too many beans.

He had in his own pews.

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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.

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Where do cars go for a swim?

At the carpool!
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What do ghosts use to wash their hair?

Shamboo!
Frankenstein: Witch can you make me a lemonade?
Witch: Poof you are a lemonade!
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How many UNIX hacks does it take to change a light bulb?

As many as you want; they're all virtual anyway.


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