Why are pirates great singers?

They can hit the high C's!

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How do you catch a squirrel?

Climb up a tree and act like a nut
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What do you call a baby bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear
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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck
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Have you seen the new HGTV show about the Whitehouse makeover?

It's called "Trump It or Dump It".
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What's the only difference between Donald Trump and Bozo the Clown?

Bozo The Clown has real hair on his head.
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What did Delaware?

A New Jersey.
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When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?

When you're a mouse.
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How many record producers does it take to change a lightbulb?

Two… one to tell the engineer to do it, the other to say "I don't know, what do you think?"

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