Why are pirates great singers?

They can hit the high C's!

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Where do mice park their boats?

At the hickory dickory dock.
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Why did the surfer think the sea was his friend?

Because it gave him a big wave!
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A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"

The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
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How many Zen masters does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A tree in a golden forest.
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How many Yuppies (WASPs) does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call the electrician, and one to mix the drinks.
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A pair of eyebrows walked into a shop. The assistant asked, "Can I help you?"

The eyebrows replied, "no, we are just browsing"
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How many UNIX hacks does it take to change a light bulb?

As many as you want; they're all virtual anyway.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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