Why are pirates great singers?

They can hit the high C's!

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How many subscribers to AOL does it take to change a light bulb?

What? You can change light bulbs?
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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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Why was the baseball player arrested in the middle of the game?

He was caught stealing second base.
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What do Santa's elves drink?

Minnesoda.
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Why was the woman fired from the car assembly line?

She was caught taking a brake.
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What has legs but doesn't walk?

A bed.
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK.
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