Why are pirates great singers?

They can hit the high C's!

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Where did the farmer take the pigs on Saturday afternoon?

He took them to a pignic.
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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How many does it take to screw in a light bulb?

10. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.
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How many bass clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?

All of them
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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How do you make a hot dog stand?

Steal its chair.
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How do you get a trombonist off of your porch?

Pay him for the pizza

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When is a car not a car?

When it turns into a garage.
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