Why are pirates great singers?

They can hit the high C's!

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Why was the mouse afraid of the water?

Catfish
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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs
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Why did the drum take a nap?

It was beat.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".
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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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What's a frog's favorite drink?

Croak-a-cola.
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Why are babies good at soccer?

Because they dribble!
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