Why are pirates great singers?

They can hit the high C's!

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How does a mouse feel after it takes a shower?

Squeaky clean
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Why did the cow go to outer space?

To visit the milky way.
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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?

He didn't have any guts!
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What element is derived from a Norse god?

Thorium.
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What did rural America tell Donald Trump?

You're Hired.
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Did you hear about Michael Jackson's latest record?

"Feel the World."
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What airline does Donald Trump aspire to fly?

Hair Force One!
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How many astronomers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Astronomers prefer the dark.
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