Why are pirates great singers?

They can hit the high C's!

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Kleptomaniacs just don't get puns

they always take things literally.
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If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they'd be alloys.
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If H20 is water, what is H204?

Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
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What do you call a deer that costs a dollar?

A buck.
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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Why do some people have an instant aversion to banjo players?

It saves time in the long run.

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What did the little girl say when she had to choose between a tricycle and a candy bar?

"Trike or Treat"?
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