Why are pirates great singers?

They can hit the high C's!

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What do you get when you cross a roll of wool and a kangaroo?

A woolen jumper
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What did rural America tell Donald Trump?

You're Hired.
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Why did the man take a pencil to bed?

Because he wanted to draw the curtains!
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And how come her cell phone bill was so high?

She was a Roman (roamin) Catholic
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What do you get when you cross a Christmas tree with an apple?

A pineapple!
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?

He didn't have any guts!
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