Why are pirates great singers?

They can hit the high C's!

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What kind of dessert does a ghost like?

I scream!
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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Why does everybody like Frosty the Snowman?

Because he is so cool!
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I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase.

I can hardly contain myself.

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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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What did Jay-z call his wife before they got married?

Feyonce

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