Why are pirates great singers?

They can hit the high C's!

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What did Jay-z call his wife before they got married?

Feyonce

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What did the laywer name his daughter?

Sue.
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What do you call a pig that's been arrested for dangerous driving?

A road hog.
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How many Wardrobe people does it take to screw in a light bulb?

"Nobody said I needed doubles on that!"
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What did the calculator say to the math student?

You can count on me!
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What kind of ties can't you wear?

Railroad ties.
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Whats Donald Trump's favorite nation?

Discrimination.
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What did the snail say when he got on the turtle's shell?

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
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