Why are pirates great singers?

They can hit the high C's!

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How many polite New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Both of them.
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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Why don't honest people need beds?

They don't lie.
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How do you catch a squirrel?

Climb up a tree and act like a nut
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Why did the orange stop in the middle of the hill?

It ran out of juice!
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?

One molar solution.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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