Why are pirates great singers?

They can hit the high C's!

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Which is the most religious cheese?

Emmental...it's very hol(e)y...
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?

There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
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Why did the poultry farmer become a school teacher?

So he could grade his eggs.
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What happened when 500 hares got loose on Main Street?

The police had to comb the area.
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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What do you do when your chair breaks?

Call a chairman.
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