Why are pirates great singers?

They can hit the high C's!

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What did Tennessee?

The same thing Arkansas.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline?

You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.
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Who says sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me?

A guy who has never been hit with a dictionary.
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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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What kind of mouse does not eat, drink, or even walk?

A computer mouse.
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What do planets like to read?

Comet books!
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