Why are pirates great singers?

They can hit the high C's!

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Why did the football coach go to the bank?

To get his quarterback.
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What do you get when you cross a Christmas tree with an apple?

A pineapple!
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What do you get when you cross a roll of wool and a kangaroo?

A woolen jumper
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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What has a head but no body?

A nail.
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How does Donald Trump plan on deporting 12 million illegal immigrants?

Juan by Juan.
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What has a lot of keys but can not open any doors?

A piano.
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Why was the piano player arrested?

Because he got into treble with the cops

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