Why are pirates great singers?

They can hit the high C's!

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"I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it,

it was a shitzu."
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What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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How many professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but they get three tech. reports out of it.
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How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. No, two. No... How many do we have on the truck?
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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?

Its shadow
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What's black and white and red all over?

A blushing zebra.
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