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Why are pirates great singers?
They can hit the high C's!
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What did Tennessee?
The same thing Arkansas.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline?
You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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What element is a girl's future best friend?
Carbon.
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Who says sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me?
A guy who has never been hit with a dictionary.
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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.
I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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What kind of mouse does not eat, drink, or even walk?
A computer mouse.
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What do planets like to read?
Comet books!
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