Why are pirates great singers?

They can hit the high C's!

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What kind of mouse does not eat, drink, or even walk?

A computer mouse.
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What do you call a cow in a tornado?

A milkshake
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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If you drop a white hat into the Red Sea, what does it become?

Wet.
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The other day I sent my girlfriend a huge pile of snow.

I rang her up, I said "Did you get my drift?".
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How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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