Why are pirates great singers?

They can hit the high C's!

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What letter can you drink?

T (tea)
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How many Californians does it take to change a light bulb?

Six. One to turn the bulb, one for support, and four to relate to the experience.
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Why did the bird get a ticket?

It broke the law of gravity!
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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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What do you call a movie about Donald Trump, Bernie Madoff, and Kenneth Lay?

The League of Extraordinary Con Men.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon!
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What do vampires take when they are sick?

Coffin drops!
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What kind of flower has lips?

Two-lips!
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