Why are pirates great singers?

They can hit the high C's!

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What do you call a sleeping bull?

A bulldozer
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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Two satellites decided to get married.

The wedding wasn't much, but the reception was incredible!
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What's the tallest building in the world?

The library, because it has the most stories.
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My first girlfriend was a tennis player but she broke my heart.

It was like love meant nothing to her.
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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
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How is Donald Trump going to shut down the Department of Education?

By renaming it Trump University.
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