Why are pirates great singers?

They can hit the high C's!

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If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they'd be alloys.
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How many thought police does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There never was any light bulb.

Notes: Probably the only really good light bulb joke of 1984.
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My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well,

I was amazed, I never knew they worked.

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How many Marxists does it take to change a light bulb?

None. The light bulb contains the seeds of its own revolution.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
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Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks.

They charged one - and let the other one off.

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What is the chemical formula for "coffee"?

CoFe2
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What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?

OH SNaP!
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