Why are pirates great singers?

They can hit the high C's!

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How many Mensans does it take to tell Mensa light bulb jokes?

Five. One to tell the joke and one to get it.
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Why did the cow go in the spaceship?

It wanted to see the mooooooon!
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Why does a giraffe have such a long neck?

Because his feet stink
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How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one more, guys, I promise.
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Went to the paper shop -

it had blown away.
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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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Some lettuce, an egg, and a faucet had a race. What was the result?

The lettuce came in ahead, the egg got beat and the faucet is still running.
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What kind of cats like to go bowling?

Alley cats.
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