Why are pirates great singers?

They can hit the high C's!

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Why does a giraffe have such a long neck?

Because his feet stink
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one more, guys, I promise.
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How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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What do bees do with their honey?

They cell it.
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What's brown and looks really good on a lawyer?

A Doberman.
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Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.
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