Why are pirates great singers?

They can hit the high C's!

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Where do horses live?

In the neigh-borhood.
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Where do soldiers keep their armies?

In their Sleevies!
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How many Zen masters does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A tree in a golden forest.
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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How did the bubble gum cross the road?

On the bottom of the chicken's foot!
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I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.

It's a total rip-off.
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How did Ben Franklin feel after discovering electricity?

Shocked.
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Why shouldn't Donald Trump rag on illegal immigrants?

Because an undocumented worker has been living on his head for the past 2 decades!
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