Why are pirates great singers?

They can hit the high C's!

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Why did the gardener plant his money?

He wanted his soil to be rich!
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Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?

He got Avogadro's number!
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What do you call a young army?

Infantry.
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I went to the Doctors the other day, and he said, 'Go to Bournemouth, it's great for flu'.

So I went - and I got it.
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What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?

A try and try and try-ceratops
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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Why did Lil Wayne go to the Doctor?

He was feeling a Lil Weezy

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A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"

The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".
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