Why are pirates great singers?

They can hit the high C's!

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What kind of balls do dragons play soccer with?

Fireballs.
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What has three letters and starts with gas?

A car
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What goes up and down but never moves?

Stairs.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He made an illegal ewe turn.
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Why did the student eat her homework?

Because the teacher said it was a piece of cake!
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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Middle C, E-Flat and G walk into a bar.

Sorry, says the barman, we don't serve minors.
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What do you call a cat sitting on the beach on Christmas Eve?

Sandy Claws.
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