Why are pirates great singers?

They can hit the high C's!

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How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: one to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.
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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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How many punk rockers does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and seventeen on the guest list.
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What has a head but no body?

A nail.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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Why did the surfer think the sea was his friend?

Because it gave him a big wave!
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How does Donald Trump intend to spice up the Republican Convention?

By relocating it to a casino!
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