Why are pirates great singers?

They can hit the high C's!

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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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How many Union Lighting Technicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It's not a bulb, it's a globe.
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What has a head but no body?

A nail.
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When are kids most likely to go to school?

When the door is open.
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What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.
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Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon?

Great food, no atmosphere.
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What airline does Donald Trump aspire to fly?

Hair Force One!
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How many Yuppies (WASPs) does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call the electrician, and one to mix the drinks.
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