Why are pirates great singers?

They can hit the high C's!

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Why did the poultry farmer become a school teacher?

So he could grade his eggs.
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How many chiropractors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but it takes six visits.
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How many French Horn players does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he/she will spend hours checking for technical problems.
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What goes tick-tock, bow-wow, tick-tock, bow-wow?

A watch dog.
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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs
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What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 100?
Your Honor.
What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 50

Senator.
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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There's two fish in a tank, and one says "How do you drive this thing?"
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