Why are pirates great singers?

They can hit the high C's!

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How many thought police does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There never was any light bulb.

Notes: Probably the only really good light bulb joke of 1984.
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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Why did God make snakes just before lawyers?

To practice.
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How many Agents does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Actually, agents will screw in just about anything.
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What can you hold without using your hands?

Your breath!
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Why are the floors of basketball courts always so damp?

The players dribble a lot.
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Why don't lawyers go to the beach?

Cats keep trying to bury them.
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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