Why are pirates great singers?

They can hit the high C's!

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How many fatalists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What does it matter? we're all gonna die anyway.
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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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Two girls were born on the same day, same year, same parents, except they are not twins. Explain:

They are triplets.
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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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What did the peanut say to the walnut?

Nothing. Nuts can't talk.
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What can you hold without ever touching it?

A conversation.
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What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.
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