Why are pirates great singers?

They can hit the high C's!

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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a gigolo?

A gigolo only screws one person at a time.
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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What does Santa like to do in the garden?

Hoe, hoe, hoe!
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How many 2nd AD's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Uh...standby, I'll check on that.
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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What do camels use to hide themselves?

Camelflauge
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How many database people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: one to write the light bulb removal program, one to write the light bulb insertion program, and one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
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