Why are pirates great singers?

They can hit the high C's!

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How many PA' does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What's a light bulb?
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How do you make a hot dog stand?

Steal its chair.
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How do you catch a squirrel?

Climb up a tree and act like a nut
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What's the difference between a piano and a tuna?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna

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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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What do you call a deer with no eyes?

No I deer
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They stopped a vulture from bringing his rotting carcasses on the plane

but he said "You said I could have two carry on items!"
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How many freelance biotechnologists does it take to change a light bulb?

One; she designs the bulb to crawl up the wall, unscrew the old one, and screw itself in.
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