Why are pirates great singers?

They can hit the high C's!

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Why did the cow go in the spaceship?

It wanted to see the mooooooon!
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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish
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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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How many conservatives does it take to change a light bulb?

One; after reflecting in the twilight on the merit of the previous bulb.
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Why does cheese look sane?

Because everything else on the plate is crackers.
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How many existentialists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to screw it in and one to observe how the light bulb itself symbolizes a single incandescent beacon of subjective reality in a netherworld of endless absurdity reaching out toward a maudlin cosmos of nothingness.
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Ah, I had a great boomerang joke...

It'll come back to me.
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What do you call a boomerang that won't come back?

A stick.
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