Why are pirates great singers?

They can hit the high C's!

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Where does a polarbear keep its money?

In a snow bank!
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Why don't aliens celebrate Chistmas?

Because they don't want to give away their presence.
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When is a door not a door?

When it's ajar!
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What is "HIJKLMNO"?

H2O.
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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What do you call a fat pumpkin?

A plumpkin.
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What do you call a beautiful woman on a trombonist's arm?

A tattoo.

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What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.
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