Why are pirates great singers?

They can hit the high C's!

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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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Two girls were born on the same day, same year, same parents, except they are not twins. Explain:

They are triplets.
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What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?

CSI
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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Why do seagulls fly over the sea?

Because if they flew over the bay, they'd be baygulls!
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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How are elephants and trees alike?

They both have trunks
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What do you give a lemon in distress?

Lemonade.
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