Why are the floors of basketball courts always so damp?

The players dribble a lot.
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Why do some people have an instant aversion to banjo players?

It saves time in the long run.

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What's a tree's favorite drink?

Rootbeer.
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How do they serve smart hamburgers?

On honor rolls.
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech?

After you die, a leech stops sucking your blood.
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How many Sound Recordists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

WHAT?
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How can you tell is a singer is at your door?

They can't find the key, and they never know when to come in.
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Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They have machines to do that now.
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