Why are the floors of basketball courts always so damp?

The players dribble a lot.
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Silver walks up to Gold in a bar and says, "AU, get outta here!"
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What has a lot of keys but can not open any doors?

A piano.
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Why is Superman's costume so tight?

Because he wears a size "S".
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?

A pair of Re-Bachs.

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How does a mouse feel after it takes a shower?

Squeaky clean
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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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How many assholes does it take to change a light bulb?

None; assholes never see the light anyway.
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Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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