Why are the floors of basketball courts always so damp?

The players dribble a lot.
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How do you catch a squirrel?

Climb up a tree and act like a nut
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When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?

When you're a mouse.
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What airline does Donald Trump aspire to fly?

Hair Force One!
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What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?

HeHe
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What do you give a pig with a rash?

Oinkment.
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What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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What two things can you not have for breakfast?

Lunch and dinner.
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How many graduate students does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it may take upwards of five years for him to get it done.
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When are kids most likely to go to school?

When the door is open.
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