Why are the floors of basketball courts always so damp?

The players dribble a lot.
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How do Vikings send secret messages?

Norse code.
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Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?

It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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What happened when 500 hares got loose on Main Street?

The police had to comb the area.
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What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?

One molar solution.
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Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks.

They charged one - and let the other one off.

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How can you tell is a singer is at your door?

They can't find the key, and they never know when to come in.
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How many militarists does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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"I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it,

it was a shitzu."
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