Why are the floors of basketball courts always so damp?

The players dribble a lot.
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What do you do with a dead chemist?

Barium
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Why did the tomato blush?

Because he saw the salad dressing!
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My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well,

I was amazed, I never knew they worked.

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What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?

HeHe
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What do you call a king who is only 12 inches tall?

A ruler.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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Why did the Blonde stare at the Orange Juice carton?

Because it said CONCENTRATE.
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How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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What do you call a sleeping bull?

A bulldozer
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