Why are the floors of basketball courts always so damp?

The players dribble a lot.
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What do you call a 400-pound gorilla?

Sir.
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What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?

A pair of Re-Bachs.

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Whats the difference between Terrorists and Accordion players?

Terrorists have sympathizers

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How many [ethnics] does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Ten. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.
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What is the difference between a locomotive engineer and a teacher?

One minds the train, one trains the mind.
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Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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What robs you while you're in the bathtub?

A robber ducky.
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How many New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None 'o yo' fuckin' business!
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