Why are the floors of basketball courts always so damp?

The players dribble a lot.
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How many cats does it takes to screw in a light bulb?

You can throw away your light bulbs. Just douse the cat with gasoline, light it up with a match, and you'll have all the light you need. (Comment: BLEAH!)

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What do you call a Disney Princess that supports Donald Trump?

Snow White Supremacist.
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Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?

Just in case he got a hole in one!
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Why was the ant so confused?

Because all his uncles were "ants"!

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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.

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How many Iraqis does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It doesn't matter, they don't have any electricity any more.

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What makes music on your hair?

A head band!

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How many Marxists does it take to change a light bulb?

None. The light bulb contains the seeds of its own revolution.

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Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?

It was two tired.
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