Why are the floors of basketball courts always so damp?

The players dribble a lot.
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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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What's green and loud?

A froghorn.
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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What two things can you not have for breakfast?

Lunch and dinner.
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How do you stop a dog barking in the back seat of a car?

Put him in the front seat.
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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