Why are the floors of basketball courts always so damp?

The players dribble a lot.
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What did the alien say to the cat?

Take me to your litter.
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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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Why doesn't Melania Trump want to be the first lady?

Because she would have to move into a smaller house.
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How many editors of Poor Richard's Almanac does it take to replace a light bulb?

Many hands make light work.
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What kind of cat should you never play games with?

A cheetah
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How many IBM PC owners does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but she/he'll have to go out and buy the light bulb adaptor card first, which is extra.
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What goes up and down but never moves?

Stairs.
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Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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