Why are the floors of basketball courts always so damp?

The players dribble a lot.
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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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Why did the belt go to jail?

It held up a pair of pants.
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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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Did you hear about Michael Jackson's latest record?

"Feel the World."
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What is the difference between a clarinet and an onion?

Nobody cries when you chop an clarinet into little pieces

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