Why are the floors of basketball courts always so damp?

The players dribble a lot.
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What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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When are kids most likely to go to school?

When the door is open.
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How many database people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: one to write the light bulb removal program, one to write the light bulb insertion program, and one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
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What do birds say on Halloween?

Twick o tweet
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Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?

Just in case he got a hole in one!
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