Why are the floors of basketball courts always so damp?

The players dribble a lot.
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What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?

Root position cords.

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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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Why did the banana split?

It saw the ginger snap.
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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How do you catch a tame bird?

The tame way, unique up on it!
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What do you call a dinosaur at the rodeo?

A Broncosaurus or a Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?

White vans.
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What has four legs, a trunk, and sunglasses?

A mouse on vacation.
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