Why are the floors of basketball courts always so damp?

The players dribble a lot.
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When does New Year's Day come before Christmas Day?

Every year!
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What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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Why doesn't Melania Trump want to be the first lady?

Because she would have to move into a smaller house.
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How many French Horn players does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he/she will spend hours checking for technical problems.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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The oddly pleasant feeling of looking down on a physist as they drink the last of their beer.

The strange charm of a top down bottoms up.
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What do have when a lawyer is buried up to his neck in sand?

Not enough sand.
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What has four legs, a trunk, and sunglasses?

A mouse on vacation.
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