Why are the floors of basketball courts always so damp?

The players dribble a lot.
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What did the belly button say just before it left?

I'm outtie here!

Tom: I bet I can make you say purple.
Joe: How?
Tom: What colors are in the American flag?
Joe: Red, white and blue.
Tom: I told you I can make you say red.
Joe: You said purple!
Tom: I told you I could make you say purple!
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Where does Friday come before Monday?

In the dictionary.
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Why are pirates great singers?

They can hit the high C's!

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How do you make Holy water?

Take regular water and just boil the hell out of it.
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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How did the egg cross the road?

It scrambled across!
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How many light bulbs does it take to change a light bulb?

One, if it knows its own Goedel number.
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What do Santa's elves drive?

Minivans.
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What do you call a parrot that flew away?

A polygon
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