Why are the floors of basketball courts always so damp?

The players dribble a lot.
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Which search engine is popular amongst mice?

Ask Cheese.
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Why was the mouse afraid of the water?

Catfish
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How many existentialists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to screw it in and one to observe how the light bulb itself symbolizes a single incandescent beacon of subjective reality in a netherworld of endless absurdity reaching out toward a maudlin cosmos of nothingness.
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What did the clock do after it ate?

It went back four seconds!
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Why did the chicken cross the road, roll in mud, then cross the road again?

He was a dirty double crosser!
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How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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What is the strongest animal?

A snail because it carries it's home.
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