Why are the floors of basketball courts always so damp?

The players dribble a lot.
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What goes around a haunted house and never stops?

A fence.
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What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?

CSI
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What lies on its back, one hundred feet in the air?

A dead centipede.
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What did rural America tell Donald Trump?

You're Hired.
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How many junkies does it take to screw in a light bulb?

``Oh wow, is it like dark, man?''
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If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why don't you swerve to hit him?

It might be your bicycle.
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How many televangelists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. Televangelists screw in motels.
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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How many magicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends on what you want to change it into.
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