Why are the floors of basketball courts always so damp?

The players dribble a lot.
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How do hair stylists speed up their job?

They take short cuts!
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What school do you have to drop out of to graduate from?

Parachute school!
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Why did the people not like the restaurant on the moon?

Because there was no atmosphere.
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What was the farmer doing on the other side of the road?

He was catching all the chickens!
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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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How many frat guys does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Three: One to screw it in, and the other two to help him down off the keg.
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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Why don't aliens celebrate Chistmas?

Because they don't want to give away their presence.
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Why can't a bicycle stand up?

Because it's two tired!
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