Why are the floors of basketball courts always so damp?

The players dribble a lot.
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What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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What did the snail say when he got on the turtle's shell?

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
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What do you call a cat sitting on the beach on Christmas Eve?

Sandy Claws.
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How many alumnae of (sorority name) does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change it and one to act as chaperone.
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Why did the pianist keep banging his head against the keys?

He was playing by ear

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Why can't you compare Donald Trump to cancer?

Because sometimes you can get rid of cancer.
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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?

Wet feet.
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