Why are the middle ages sometimes called the Dark Ages?

Because they had so many knights.
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"I said to the Gym instructor "Can you teach me to do the splits?" He said, "How flexible are you?"

I said, "I can't make Tuesdays"

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What is the best thing to do if you find a gorilla in your bed?

Sleep somewhere else.
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Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?

A try and try and try-ceratops
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How many technical writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, provided there is a programmer around to explain how to do it.
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What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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What is the snake's favorite subject?

Hiss-story
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What airline does Donald Trump aspire to fly?

Hair Force One!
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Knock, knock!
Who's there?
Snow.
Snow who?

Snowbody!
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