Why are the middle ages sometimes called the Dark Ages?

Because they had so many knights.
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.
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What kind of fly has a frog in its throat?

A hoarse fly!
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How many college girls does it take to change a light bulb?

That's "women," you unfunny jerk!
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Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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How many lesbians does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: One to screw it in, and two to talk about how much better it is than with a man.
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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What do you call an exploding monkey?

A baboom
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How many (Generals/Politicians) does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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