Why are the middle ages sometimes called the Dark Ages?

Because they had so many knights.
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He made an illegal ewe turn.
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What happened when the monster ate the electric company?

He was in shock for a week.
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What did the momma buffalo say to her son before he went to school?

Bison
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A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"

The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
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How many Italians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

I dunno exactly, but my brother's girlfriend's father's boss's secretary's sister's next-door neighbors' priest's cousin's union shop steward's uncle's Knights Of Columbus club Sergeant-of-Arms's nephew's best friend did it real cheap for me once.
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In what school do you learn how to greet people?

Hi school.
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Whats the difference between Terrorists and Accordion players?

Terrorists have sympathizers

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How many assholes does it take to change a light bulb?

None; assholes never see the light anyway.
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