Why are the middle ages sometimes called the Dark Ages?

Because they had so many knights.
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How do you make Halloween great again?

By carving a Trumpkin.
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How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?

It was two tired.
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What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?

One molar solution.
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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.
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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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