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Why are the middle ages sometimes called the Dark Ages?
Because they had so many knights.
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date
but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.
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How many Christian Scientists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
None, but it takes at least one to sit and pray for the old one to go back on.
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?
To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?
He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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What is black and white and red all over?
A skunk with a rash.
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How do you get a trumpet to sound like a french horn?
Put your hand in the bell and play a lot of wrong notes.
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Have you heard the joke about the butter?
I better not tell you, it might spread.
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What do you call a messy hippo?
A hippopota-mess
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a gigolo?
A gigolo only screws one person at a time.
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