Why are the middle ages sometimes called the Dark Ages?

Because they had so many knights.
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How do you make a band stand?

Take their chairs away!
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What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".
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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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Sherlock, what are you doing with that 200lbs shrub?

It's not a shrub, it's a lemon tree my dear Watson.
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Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?

It needed to be trimmed.
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What kind of balls do dragons play soccer with?

Fireballs.
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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What has ears like a cat and a tail like a cat, but is not a cat?

A kitten.
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What do you call a young army?

Infantry.
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