Why are the middle ages sometimes called the Dark Ages?

Because they had so many knights.
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Where would an astronaut park his space ship?

A parking meteor!
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What is the difference between a clarinet and an onion?

Nobody cries when you chop an clarinet into little pieces

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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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How do you make a musician's car more aerodynamic?

Take the pizza delivery sign off the roof

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A seal walks into a club...
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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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They stopped a vulture from bringing his rotting carcasses on the plane

but he said "You said I could have two carry on items!"
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Why was the baseball game so hot?

Because all the fans left!
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What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?

HeHe
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