Why are the middle ages sometimes called the Dark Ages?

Because they had so many knights.
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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What room does a ghost not need?

A living room!
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How many skunks does it take to make a big stink?

A phew.
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Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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Whats the difference between Terrorists and Accordion players?

Terrorists have sympathizers

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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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What's green and flies as fast as a speeding bullet?

Super Pickle!
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I went to the Doctors the other day, and he said, 'Go to Bournemouth, it's great for flu'.

So I went - and I got it.
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How do you handle dangerous cheese?

Caerphilly.
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