Why are the middle ages sometimes called the Dark Ages?

Because they had so many knights.
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When does New Year's Day come before Christmas Day?

Every year!
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Whats Donald Trump's favorite nation?

Discrimination.
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What message did Bach have on his answering machine?

"This phone is baroque, please call Bach later."

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How many skunks does it take to make a big stink?

A phew.
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When Susan's boyfriend proposed marriage to her she said: "I love the simple things in life,

but I don't want one of them for my husband".

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How do you catch a squirrel?

Climb up a tree and act like a nut
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What cell phones do travelling nuns use?

Virgin mobile.
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What do Russians use for napkins?

Soviets
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Why did the surfer think the sea was his friend?

Because it gave him a big wave!
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