Why are the middle ages sometimes called the Dark Ages?

Because they had so many knights.
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What kind of music do planets sing?

Neptunes!
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Ah, I had a great boomerang joke...

It'll come back to me.
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Why did the turtle cross the road?

To get to the shell station.

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What is green and pecks on trees?

Woody the Wood Pickle.

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How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."

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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.

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What do you call a pig who knows karate?

Porkchop

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What's the difference between an accountant and a lawyer?

Accountants know they're boring.

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How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.

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