Why are the middle ages sometimes called the Dark Ages?

Because they had so many knights.
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What is the snake's favorite subject?

Hiss-story
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What's the tallest building in the world?

The library, because it has the most stories.
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I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah;

I thought, "He's trying to pull a fast one".

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Why did the melon jump into the lake?

It wanted to be a watermelon.
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Two satellites decided to get married.

The wedding wasn't much, but the reception was incredible!
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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How many ``pro-lifers'' does it take to change a light bulb?

6: 2 to screw in the bulb and 4 to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
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