Why are the middle ages sometimes called the Dark Ages?

Because they had so many knights.
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If a long dress is evening wear, what is a suit of armor?

Silverware.
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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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Now that Macy's has severed ties, with Donald Trump, how can the average American look like the President?

By hunting and killing their own hair piece.
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"I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it,

it was a shitzu."
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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Why did the Blonde stare at the Orange Juice carton?

Because it said CONCENTRATE.
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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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