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Why are the middle ages sometimes called the Dark Ages?
Because they had so many knights.
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Why would Snow White make a great judge?
She was the fairest in the land.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?
To reduce his carbon footprint.
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How many skunks does it take to make a big stink?
A phew.
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What is Donald Trumps campaign slogan?
"A complex world demands complex hair."
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What did one titration say to the other?
"Let's meet at the endpoint."
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Why can't lawyers do NMR?
Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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Which day do fish hate?
Fryday
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What happens when you play "the blues" backwards?
Your wife comes back to you, your dog returns to life and you get out of prison.
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A lorry-load of tortoises crashed into a trainload of terrapins,
What a turtle disaster
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