Why are the middle ages sometimes called the Dark Ages?

Because they had so many knights.
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How is Donald Trump going to shut down the Department of Education?

By renaming it Trump University.
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If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why don't you swerve to hit him?

It might be your bicycle.
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How many tenors does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change the bulb and three to whine "It's too high"
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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What does a skeleton say before dinner?

Bone appetit!
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon
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Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?

It was two tired.
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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.
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What kind of underwear to reporters wear?

News briefs.
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