Why are the middle ages sometimes called the Dark Ages?

Because they had so many knights.
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What do you call a bruise on a T-Rex?

A dino-sore
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I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with

but I've been trippin' all day.
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Why was the vacationing doctor so mad?

He had no patients.
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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Why do loud, obnoxious whistles exist at some factories?

To give us some sort of appreciation for flutes.

Did you hear about that music composer who committed suicide? He didn't even leave a note.

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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

He got caught peeping on a test.
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What do Santa's elves drive?

Minivans.
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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