Why are the middle ages sometimes called the Dark Ages?

Because they had so many knights.
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What did the class clown take a computer to school?

Her mom told her to bring in an apple for the teacher.
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How many 2nd AD's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Uh...standby, I'll check on that.
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How many supporters of George W. Bush does it take to change a light bulb?

None. First, denounce the nearest Democrats as liberal pantywaists who deliberately caused the bulb to blow. Second, announce that the Bush administration has proved that the science of electricity is faulty, so no action ever needs to be taken on global light change. Third, keep the need for a new light bulb strictly secret. Fourth, use the money for new light bulbs as an excuse for another tax cut for Bush's wealthy friends. Fifth, explain that you would never "disassemble" about the need for light, you are way too busy spreading freedom and democracy in the Middle East by eliminating freedom and democracy in the United States.
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How many investment brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes.
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

He got caught peeping on a test.
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Why did the cat go to Minnesota?

To get a mini soda
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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Doc, I can't stop singing the 'Green Green Grass of Home'. He said: 'That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome'. 'Is it common?'I asked.

'It's not unusual' he replied.

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