Why are the middle ages sometimes called the Dark Ages?

Because they had so many knights.
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What do whales eat?

Fish and ships.
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How many alumnae of (sorority name) does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change it and one to act as chaperone.
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What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?

Root position cords.

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What is an astronauts favorite key on the keyboard?

The space bar!
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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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Why do hummingbirds hum?

Because they don't know the words.
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How many editors of Poor Richard's Almanac does it take to replace a light bulb?

"Many hands make light work."
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What do you call a pig that does karate?

A pork chop.
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What happens when you play "the blues" backwards?

Your wife comes back to you, your dog returns to life and you get out of prison.

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