Why are the middle ages sometimes called the Dark Ages?

Because they had so many knights.
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How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: one to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.
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How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with

but I've been trippin' all day.
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What do you get when you cross a witch with sand?

A sandwich!
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Why can't you compare Donald Trump to cancer?

Because sometimes you can get rid of cancer.
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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Why are there fences around a graveyard?

Because people are dying to get in!
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Why did the skeleton cross the road?

To get to the body shop.
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What kind of driver has no arms or legs?

A screwdriver.
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