Why are the middle ages sometimes called the Dark Ages?

Because they had so many knights.
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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Why did the chicken cross the road, roll in mud, then cross the road again?

He was a dirty double crosser!
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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