Why are the middle ages sometimes called the Dark Ages?

Because they had so many knights.
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What do frogs order when they go to a restaurant?

French Flies.
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How many Federal employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Sorry, that item has been cut from the budget!
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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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What is a lion's favorite state?

Maine
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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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What school do you have to drop out of to graduate from?

Parachute school!
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How many TV evangelists does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But for the message of light to continue, send in your donation today.
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