Why are the middle ages sometimes called the Dark Ages?

Because they had so many knights.
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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Why shouldn't Donald Trump rag on illegal immigrants?

Because an undocumented worker has been living on his head for the past 2 decades!
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What do you get when you cross a witch with sand?

A sandwich!
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What kind of pants do ghosts wear?

Boo-Jeans.
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How many Agents does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Actually, agents will screw in just about anything.
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Why are elephants wrinkled?

Because they don't fit on a ironing board
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What has a bed that you can't sleep in?

A river.
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