Why are the middle ages sometimes called the Dark Ages?

Because they had so many knights.
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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What do you call a crate of ducks?

A box of quackers.
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a prostitute?

A prostitute will stop screwing you when you're dead.
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Does it take longer to run from 1st base to 2nd, or from 2nd to 3rd?

From 2nd to 3rd because there's a shortstop in the middle.
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How do you know an elephant has been in your refrigerator?

There are footprints in the butter.
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A pair of eyebrows walked into a shop. The assistant asked, "Can I help you?"

The eyebrows replied, "no, we are just browsing"
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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs
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How does Donald Trump plan on deporting 12 million illegal immigrants?

Juan by Juan.
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