Why are the middle ages sometimes called the Dark Ages?

Because they had so many knights.
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How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."
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That girl said she knew me from the vegitarian club,

but I'd never seen herbivore [her before]
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What has four legs but never stands?

A Chair!
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What do Donald Trump and a baby have in common?

They both whine alot!
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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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The new band called 1023MB.

They haven't had any gigs yet
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What do you call a thieving alligator?

A crookodile
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What has a head but no body?

A nail.
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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?

He didn't have any guts!
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