Why are the middle ages sometimes called the Dark Ages?

Because they had so many knights.
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What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?

Its shadow
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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I was having dinner with Garry Kasporov (world chess champion) and there was a check tablecloth.

It took him two hours to pass me the salt.
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What does cheese say to itself in the mirror?

Halloumi.
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How many nuclear engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to install the new bulb and six to figure out what to do with the old one for the next 10,000 years.
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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