Why are the middle ages sometimes called the Dark Ages?

Because they had so many knights.
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How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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A lorry-load of tortoises crashed into a trainload of terrapins,

What a turtle disaster

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What do you call an exploding monkey?

A baboom
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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How can you tell that a train just went by?

It left its tracks.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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What do you see when you look into Trump's eyes?

Answer: The back of his head.
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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