Why are the middle ages sometimes called the Dark Ages?

Because they had so many knights.
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What do you call a cat sitting on the beach on Christmas Eve?

Sandy Claws.
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How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
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Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15 Degrees C

and still be 0k?
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How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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What has legs but doesn't walk?

A bed.
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What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?

One molar solution.
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How many Marxists does it take to change a light bulb?

None. The light bulb contains the seeds of its own revolution.
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How many college girls does it take to change a light bulb?

That's "women," you unfunny jerk!
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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