Why are the middle ages sometimes called the Dark Ages?

Because they had so many knights.
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I swear, the other day I bought a packet of peanuts, and on the packet it said "may contain nuts." Well, YES! That's what I bought the buggers for!

You'd be annoyed if you opened it and a socket set fell out!"

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Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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Where do fortune tellers dance?

At the crystal ball.
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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What do envelopes say when you lick them?

Nothing, it shuts them up!
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What do you get when you cross a Cocker Spaniel,
a Poodle and a ghost?

A cocker poodle boo.
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What is the easiest way to count a herd of cattle?

With a cowculator.
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What is a ghost's favorite pie?

Booberry pie!
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What did the class clown take a computer to school?

Her mom told her to bring in an apple for the teacher.
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