Why are the middle ages sometimes called the Dark Ages?

Because they had so many knights.
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A man walks into a bar with a roll of tarmac under his arm and says:

"Pint please, and one for the road."

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How do you stop a dog barking in the back seat of a car?

Put him in the front seat.
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When are kids most likely to go to school?

When the door is open.
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Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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Who makes dinosaur clothes?

A dino-sewer.
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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Did you know that oxygen went for a second date with potassium?
How did it go?

It went OK2!
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What do dinosaurs and decent lawyers have in common?

They're both extinct.
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Where did the music teacher leave her keys?

In the piano!

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