Why are the middle ages sometimes called the Dark Ages?

Because they had so many knights.
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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Making bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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How Many lead guitarist does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just steal somebody else's light.
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What did the snail say when he got on the turtle's shell?

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
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How many IBM engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just let Marketing explain that "Dead Bulb" is a feature.
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How is Donald Trump going to shut down the Department of Education?

By renaming it Trump University.
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What do you call a mad elephant?

An earthquake.
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