Why are the middle ages sometimes called the Dark Ages?

Because they had so many knights.
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis
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Why did New Jersey get all the toxic waste and California all the lawyers?

New Jersey got to pick first.
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What do you call a cat sitting on the beach on Christmas Eve?

Sandy Claws.
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What's in the middle of nowhere?

The letter H.
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How many subscribers to AOL does it take to change a light bulb?

What? You can change light bulbs?
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Why did the baseball player bring a rope to the game?

Because he wanted to tie the score!
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How many radical feminists does it take to change a light bulb?

That isn't funny!
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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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