Why are the middle ages sometimes called the Dark Ages?

Because they had so many knights.
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Why are elephants wrinkled?

Because they don't fit on a ironing board

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What do you get when you plant a frog?

A cr-oak tree.

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Why can't Donald Trump be a Lannister?

Because he never pays his debts.
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Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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What`s black & white & red all over?

An embarrased mime!

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Why can't Donald Trump be a Lannister?

Because he never pays his debts.
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How many folk singers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.

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How many bass clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?

All of them

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What happens when you play "the blues" backwards?

Your wife comes back to you, your dog returns to life and you get out of prison.

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