Why are the middle ages sometimes called the Dark Ages?

Because they had so many knights.
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.

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What did the rug say to the floor?

Don't move, I've got you covered.

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When is a car not a car?

When it turns into a garage.
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So I was on a train with Einstein and he turns to me and asks...

Does Boston stop at this train?
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What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?

It gave a little wine

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What are pirate's favoite treat?

Chips AHOY!!
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Why does the Easter Bunny have a shiny nose?

His powder puff is on the wrong end.

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What kind of shoes do bannanas make?

Slippers!
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