Why are the middle ages sometimes called the Dark Ages?

Because they had so many knights.
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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How many orgy attenders does it take to change a lightbulb?

As many as possible, and don't *ask* what they do with the old bulb.
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Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?

It was two tired.
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Sherlock, what are you doing with that 200lbs shrub?

It's not a shrub, it's a lemon tree my dear Watson.
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What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
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What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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