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Why are the middle ages sometimes called the Dark Ages?
Because they had so many knights.
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How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?
They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?
The chicken wasn't around yet.
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A lorry-load of tortoises crashed into a trainload of terrapins,
What a turtle disaster
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What do you call an exploding monkey?
A baboom
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?
Carlos.
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How can you tell that a train just went by?
It left its tracks.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?
To reduce his carbon footprint.
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What do you see when you look into Trump's eyes?
Answer: The back of his head.
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?
Santa paws!!!
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