Why are the middle ages sometimes called the Dark Ages?

Because they had so many knights.
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If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why don't you swerve to hit him?

It might be your bicycle.
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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How did the butcher introduce his wife?

Meet Patty.
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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How many cops does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. It turned itself in.
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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What did the ghost say to the other ghost?

Do you believe in humans?
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