Why are the middle ages sometimes called the Dark Ages?

Because they had so many knights.
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What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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What's the difference between a jellyfish and a lawyer?

One's a spineless, poisonous blob. The other is a form of sea life.
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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How many militarists does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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What does Donald Trump say when he can't find his Viagra?

"The erection is rigged!"
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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Why did the baseball player bring a rope to the game?

Because he wanted to tie the score!
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Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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What did the octopus say to his girlfriend when he proposed?

Can I have your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage?
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