Why are the middle ages sometimes called the Dark Ages?

Because they had so many knights.
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What do you call a sleeping bull?

A bulldozer
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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How many stock brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes (knowing that it's already burned out).
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What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?

2 Na
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What is the definition of a "crying shame"?

There was an empty seat.
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What`s black & white & red all over?

An embarrased mime!
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Why did the poultry farmer become a school teacher?

So he could grade his eggs.
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Were does a boat go when it is sick?

To the dock.
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