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Why are the middle ages sometimes called the Dark Ages?
Because they had so many knights.
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Why does the Easter Bunny have a shiny nose?
His powder puff is on the wrong end.
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.
The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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How many teenage girls does it take to screw in a light bulb?
One, but she'll be on the phone for five hours telling all her friends about it.
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?
The Trump Card
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What is a horse's favorite sport?
Stable tennis
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What pine has the longest needles?
A porcupine.
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.
It’s a little fishy.
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How many fatalists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
What does it matter? we're all gonna die anyway.
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Why does everybody like Frosty the Snowman?
Because he is so cool!
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