Why are the middle ages sometimes called the Dark Ages?

Because they had so many knights.
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Why was the baseball game so hot?

Because all the fans left!
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How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one more, guys, I promise.
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What do you do if your cat swallows your pencil?

Use a pen.
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Why is Superman's costume so tight?

Because he wears a size "S".
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What do you give a sick bird?

Tweetment.
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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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Can you use pink,yellow and green in a sentence?

. The phone went green green, and I pinked it up and said yellow.
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I went to the doctors the other day and I said, 'Have you got anything for wind?'

So he gave me a kite.

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What do an accordion and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is relieved when the case is closed.

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