Why are the middle ages sometimes called the Dark Ages?

Because they had so many knights.
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How do you know Donald Trump is talking to you?

Cause your the only one Hair.
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"I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it,

it was a shitzu."
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What is a ghost's favorite pie?

Booberry pie!
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What washes up on small beaches?

Microwaves.
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Where did the farmer take the pigs on Saturday afternoon?

He took them to a pignic.
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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What do you get when you plant a frog?

A cr-oak tree.
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What is the difference between a clarinet and an onion?

Nobody cries when you chop an clarinet into little pieces

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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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