Why are there fences around a graveyard?

Because people are dying to get in!
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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When does New Year's Day come before Christmas Day?

Every year!
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Trump: "Foreign Policy?,

if you mess with the United States, there will be hell toupee."

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What is the opposite of a restaurant?

A workaraunt.
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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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What do you call a young army?

Infantry.
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