Why are there fences around a graveyard?

Because people are dying to get in!
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs
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What are pirate's favoite treat?

Chips AHOY!!
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Do you know what the Queen's father was called?

King.
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What do you call a loony spaceman?

An astronut.
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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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