Why are there fences around a graveyard?

Because people are dying to get in!
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What is up in the air and wobbles?

A jellycopter
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What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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What message did Bach have on his answering machine?

"This phone is baroque, please call Bach later."

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What kind of balls do dragons play soccer with?

Fireballs.
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Why did the cucumber call 911?

It was in a pickle!
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What do you call a gorilla wearing earmuffs?

Anything you like, he can't hear you.
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Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks.

They charged one - and let the other one off.

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How did Ben Franklin feel after discovering electricity?

Shocked.
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