Why are there fences around a graveyard?

Because people are dying to get in!
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How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.
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How many lawyers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Three, One to climb the ladder. One to shake it. And one to sue the ladder company.
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He made an illegal ewe turn.
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What do you call the king of vegetables?

Elvis Parsley.
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How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
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What did the octopus say to his girlfriend when he proposed?

Can I have your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage?
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