Why are there fences around a graveyard?

Because people are dying to get in!
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Which candles burn longer, bee's wax or tallow?

Neither, they all burn shorter.
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What is the world's longest punctuation mark?

The hundred yard dash.
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What do frogs order when they go to a restaurant?

French Flies.
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?

A try and try and try-ceratops
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What did the Donald tell an illegal immigrant who was trying to put out a fire at Trump Tower?

No way Hose A.
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