Why are there fences around a graveyard?

Because people are dying to get in!
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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs
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What's the difference between an accountant and a lawyer?

Accountants know they're boring.
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What's a puppy's favorite kind of pizza?

Pupperoni.
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Why did the people not like the restaurant on the moon?

Because there was no atmosphere.
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Why shouldn't Donald Trump rag on illegal immigrants?

Because an undocumented worker has been living on his head for the past 2 decades!
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How many members of the United Church of Canada does it take to change a light bulb?

How dare you be so intolerant! So what if the light bulb has chosen an alternative light-style?
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Why does everybody like Frosty the Snowman?

Because he is so cool!
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What goes 99 thump,99 thump,99 thump?

A centipede with a wooden leg.
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