Why are there fences around a graveyard?

Because people are dying to get in!
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Where do mice park their boats?

At the hickory dickory dock.
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What is green and pecks on trees?

Woody the Wood Pickle.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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There were five people under one umbrella. Why didn't they get wet?

It wasn't raining!
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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What kind of music do planets sing?

Neptunes!
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon
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