Why are there fences around a graveyard?

Because people are dying to get in!
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Why does cheese look sane?

Because everything else on the plate is crackers.
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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How many editors of Poor Richard's Almanac does it take to replace a light bulb?

Many hands make light work.
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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Why did the bird get a ticket?

It broke the law of gravity!
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