Why are there fences around a graveyard?

Because people are dying to get in!
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech?

After you die, a leech stops sucking your blood.
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What did the one penny say to the other penny?

We make perfect cents.
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What do you call a bruise on a T-Rex?

A dino-sore
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How is Donald Trump going to shut down the Department of Education?

By renaming it Trump University.
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Why did the news reporter go to the ice cream parlor?

Because she wanted to get a good scoop.
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What do postal workers do when they're mad?

They stamp their feet.
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What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from?

Separation anxiety.
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What is at the end of everything?

The letter G.
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