Why are there fences around a graveyard?

Because people are dying to get in!
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What is Claustrophobia?

The fear of Santa Claus.
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What do Santa's elves drink?

Minnesoda.
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Why is slippery ice like music?

If you don't C sharp - you'll B flat!

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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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Why did the skeleton cross the road?

To get to the body shop.
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Customer: "Do you have alligator shoes?"

Clerk: "Yes, sir. What size does your alligator wear?"
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How do you stop a dog barking in the back seat of a car?

Put him in the front seat.
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What has four legs, a trunk, and sunglasses?

A mouse on vacation.
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