Why are there fences around a graveyard?

Because people are dying to get in!
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How is Donald Trump going to create middle class jobs?

By paying them to cheer for him during campaign events.
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Why did the cow go to outer space?

To visit the milky way.
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What's black and white, black and white, black and white and green?

Three skunks fighting over a pickle

First dog: My master calls me Furball. How about you?
Second Dog: My master calls me Sitboy
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What did one titration say to the other?

"Let's meet at the endpoint."
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What do you call a gorilla wearing earmuffs?

Anything you like, he can't hear you.
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Why did the turtle cross the road?

To get to the shell station.
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How many supporters of George W. Bush does it take to change a light bulb?

None. First, denounce the nearest Democrats as liberal pantywaists who deliberately caused the bulb to blow. Second, announce that the Bush administration has proved that the science of electricity is faulty, so no action ever needs to be taken on global light change. Third, keep the need for a new light bulb strictly secret. Fourth, use the money for new light bulbs as an excuse for another tax cut for Bush's wealthy friends. Fifth, explain that you would never "disassemble" about the need for light, you are way too busy spreading freedom and democracy in the Middle East by eliminating freedom and democracy in the United States.
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Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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