Why are there fences around a graveyard?

Because people are dying to get in!
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What has a head but no body?

A nail.
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What lies on its back, one hundred feet in the air?

A dead centipede.
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How does an attorney sleep?

First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other.
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How does a mouse feel after it takes a shower?

Squeaky clean
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H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?

Drinking.
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What did the alien say to the garden?

Take me to your weeder!
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There were five people under one umbrella. Why didn't they get wet?

It wasn't raining!
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When is a door not a door?

When it's ajar!
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