Why are there fences around a graveyard?

Because people are dying to get in!
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I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah;

I thought, "He's trying to pull a fast one".

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How do you make a band stand?

Take their chairs away!
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What's the difference between a piano and a tuna?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna

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Where does a polarbear keep its money?

In a snow bank!
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Why do seagulls fly over the sea?

Because if they flew over the bay, they'd be baygulls!
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What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?

A brick layer!
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I said to this train driver "I want to go to Paris". He said "Eurostar?"

I said, "I've been on telly but I'm no Dean Martin".
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What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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