Why are there fences around a graveyard?

Because people are dying to get in!
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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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How is Donald Trump going to create middle class jobs?

By paying them to cheer for him during campaign events.
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What do you call two banana peels?

Slippers.
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There are 10 kinds of people in the world.

Those who read binary and those who don't.
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How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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What do you call a parrot that flew away?

A polygon
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When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?

When you're a mouse.
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How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."
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