Why are there fences around a graveyard?

Because people are dying to get in!
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How many Yuppies (WASPs) does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call the electrician, and one to mix the drinks.
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How many accountants does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What kind of answer did you have in mind?
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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What goes tick-tock, bow-wow, tick-tock, bow-wow?

A watch dog.
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How many Bratzlaver Chassidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find one that burned as brightly as the first one.
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How many bass clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?

All of them
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What do basketball players and babies have in common?

They both dribble.
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