Why are there fences around a graveyard?

Because people are dying to get in!
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How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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And how come her cell phone bill was so high?

She was a Roman (roamin) Catholic
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Why did Mickey Mouse go to outer space?

He was looking for Pluto.
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What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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Why doesn't Melania Trump want to be the first lady?

Because she would have to move into a smaller house.
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What's a tree's favorite drink?

Rootbeer.
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What does a witch use to keep her hair up?

Scarespray!
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If H20 is water, what is H204?

Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
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