Why are there fences around a graveyard?

Because people are dying to get in!
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What goes 99 thump,99 thump,99 thump?

A centipede with a wooden leg.
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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What is a cat's favorite breakfast?

Mice krispies
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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What did the momma buffalo say to her son before he went to school?

Bison
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What do you call a deer that costs a dollar?

A buck.
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What do you call a calf after it's six months old?

Seven months old.
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Why did the surfer think the sea was his friend?

Because it gave him a big wave!
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