Why are there fences around a graveyard?

Because people are dying to get in!
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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What did the clock do after it ate?

It went back four seconds!
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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What do you call the best butter on the farm?

A goat.
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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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A jump-lead walks into a bar.

The barman says "I'll serve you, but don't start anything"
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What do you call a thieving alligator?

A crookodile
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