Why are there fences around a graveyard?

Because people are dying to get in!
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.

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How many investment brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes.

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What goes under your feet and over your head?

A jump rope.

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Why was the ant so confused?

Because all his uncles were "ants"!

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How many Bratzlaver Chassidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find one that burned as brightly as the first one.

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Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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Why are the middle ages sometimes called the Dark Ages?

Because they had so many knights.
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What letter can you drink?

T (tea)

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