Why are there fences around a graveyard?

Because people are dying to get in!
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How does Donald Trump intend to spice up the Republican Convention?

By relocating it to a casino!
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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Why was the boy sitting on his watch?

Because he wanted to be on time.
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Why did the news reporter go to the ice cream parlor?

Because she wanted to get a good scoop.
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What is a snowman's favorite breakfast?

Frosted Flakes!
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What kind of ties can't you wear?

Railroad ties.
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What is the world's longest punctuation mark?

The hundred yard dash.
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A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"

The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".
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