Why are there fences around a graveyard?

Because people are dying to get in!
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What did the judge say to the dentist?

Do you swear to pull the tooth, the whole tooth and nothing but the tooth?
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What do you call a fish without an eye?

Fsh

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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow

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Went to the paper shop -

it had blown away.

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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated

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How many tenors does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change the bulb and three to whine "It's too high"

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Why shouldn't Donald Trump rag on illegal immigrants?

Because an undocumented worker has been living on his head for the past 2 decades!
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Sherlock, what are you doing with that 200lbs shrub?

It's not a shrub, it's a lemon tree my dear Watson.
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