Why are there fences around a graveyard?

Because people are dying to get in!
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What school do you have to drop out of to graduate from?

Parachute school!
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How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo?

Big holes all over Australia!
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Doc, I can't stop singing the 'Green Green Grass of Home'. He said: 'That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome'. 'Is it common?'I asked.

'It's not unusual' he replied.

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What's the difference between a lawyer and God?

God doesn't think he's a lawyer.
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.' The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal.

Her husband responds, "But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."

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