Why are there fences around a graveyard?

Because people are dying to get in!
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What did the alien say when he was out of room?

I'm all spaced out!
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How many astronomers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Astronomers prefer the dark.
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Why is Superman's costume so tight?

Because he wears a size "S".
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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What did the peanut say to the walnut?

Nothing. Nuts can't talk.
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I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite

He said NaBrO
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Why was the woman fired from the car assembly line?

She was caught taking a brake.
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