Why are there fences around a graveyard?

Because people are dying to get in!
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What do you call a baby bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear
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What did Jay-z call his wife before they got married?

Feyonce

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What does Donald Trump say when he can't find his Viagra?

"The erection is rigged!"
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What's black and white, black and white, black and white and green?

Three skunks fighting over a pickle

First dog: My master calls me Furball. How about you?
Second Dog: My master calls me Sitboy
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What did the ceiling say to the chandelier?

You're the only bright spot in my life.
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How many Italians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

I dunno exactly, but my brother's girlfriend's father's boss's secretary's sister's next-door neighbors' priest's cousin's union shop steward's uncle's Knights Of Columbus club Sergeant-of-Arms's nephew's best friend did it real cheap for me once.
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Where do horses live?

In the neigh-borhood.
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What do have when a lawyer is buried up to his neck in sand?

Not enough sand.
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