Why can't a bicycle stand up?

Because it's two tired!
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've been framed.
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What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?

A pair of Re-Bachs.

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What did the pencil say to the paper?

I dot my i's on you!
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What is the best thing to do if you find a gorilla in your bed?

Sleep somewhere else.
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How do you know an elephant has been in your refrigerator?

There are footprints in the butter.
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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What kind of dress can't be worn?

Address.
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