Why can't a bicycle stand up?

Because it's two tired!
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How many skunks does it take to make a big stink?

A phew.
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Why did Mozart kill his chickens?

Because they always ran around going "Bach! Bach! Bach!"

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What do you call a story about a broken pencil?

Pointless
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What did the pencil say to the paper?

I dot my i's on you!
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Why is Donald Trump always seen with Melania?

Because all his other wives support Hillary.
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What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house?

Hope it's Halloween!!
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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How many alumnae of (sorority name) does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change it and one to act as chaperone.
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