Why can't a bicycle stand up?

Because it's two tired!
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What is a ghost's favorite fruit?

Booberries!
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What do you call a deer that costs a dollar?

A buck.
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What do you call a calf after it's six months old?

Seven months old.
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What is the opposite of a restaurant?

A workaraunt.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech?

After you die, a leech stops sucking your blood.
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Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.
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If you drop a white hat into the Red Sea, what does it become?

Wet.
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What do you call a lawyer gone bad.

Senator.
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