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Why can't a bicycle stand up?
Because it's two tired!
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How many skunks does it take to make a big stink?
A phew.
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Why did Mozart kill his chickens?
Because they always ran around going "Bach! Bach! Bach!"
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What do you call a story about a broken pencil?
Pointless
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What did the pencil say to the paper?
I dot my i's on you!
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Why is Donald Trump always seen with Melania?
Because all his other wives support Hillary.
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What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house?
Hope it's Halloween!!
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?
Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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How many alumnae of (sorority name) does it take to change a light bulb?
Two. One to change it and one to act as chaperone.
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