Why can't a bicycle stand up?

Because it's two tired!
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I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day.

Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.

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Who makes dinosaur clothes?

A dino-sewer.
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How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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What does a cat call a hummingbird?

Fast food.
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How many TV evangelists does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But for the message of light to continue, send in your donation today.
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Where is a rabbit's favorite place to eat?

Ihop
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What is at the end of everything?

The letter G.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He made an illegal ewe turn.
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