Why can't a bicycle stand up?

Because it's two tired!
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How many ``pro-lifers'' does it take to change a light bulb?

6: 2 to screw in the bulb and 4 to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
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A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.' The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal.

Her husband responds, "But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."

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How does a bird with a broken wing manage to land safely?

With its sparrowchute.
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Why is Superman's costume so tight?

Because he wears a size "S".
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Why are there fences around a graveyard?

Because people are dying to get in!
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How many sound engineers does it take to change a light bulb

None, sound engineers don't do lights
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What do you see when you look into Trump's eyes?

Answer: The back of his head.
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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