Why can't a bicycle stand up?

Because it's two tired!
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How many Bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb??

What's a light bulb?
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Why did the cow go to outer space?

To visit the milky way.
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I’ve never gone to a gun range before.

I decided to give it a shot!
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?

Drinking.
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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