Why can't a bicycle stand up?

Because it's two tired!
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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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What has four wheels and flies?

A garbage truck.
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How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But the guitarist has to show him first.

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What do ghosts eat for supper?

Spooketi
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How many running-dog lackeys of the bourgeoisie does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to exploit the proletariat, and one to control the means of production!
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Where did the farmer take the pigs on Saturday afternoon?

He took them to a pignic.
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What does a witch use to keep her hair up?

Scarespray!
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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