Why can't a bicycle stand up?

Because it's two tired!
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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What do you call a smiling, sober, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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What do you call a rabbit with beetles all over it?

Bugs Bunny.
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Why did the singer climb a ladder?

She wanted to reach the high notes!

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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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What kind of jam can you not eat?

A traffic jam.
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A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: "Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!" The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: "The driver just insulted me!"

The man says: "You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you."
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