Why can't Donald Trump be a Lannister?

Because he never pays his debts.
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What do moms dress up as on Halloween?

Mummies!
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Three people were in a boat. They all fell off. Only two people ended up with wet hair. Why didn't the other person's hair get wet?

Because he was bald!
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How many [ethnics] does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Ten. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.
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Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK.
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How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."
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What did the banana do when the monkey chased it?

The banana split
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What do you call a bankrupt Santa?

Saint Nickel-less.
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What did the Donald tell an illegal immigrant who was trying to put out a fire at Trump Tower?

No way Hose A.
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