Why can't Donald Trump be a Lannister?

Because he never pays his debts.
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How can you tell is a singer is at your door?

They can't find the key, and they never know when to come in.
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What's the definition of perfect pitch?

When you toss a banjo in the garbage and it hits an accordion.

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What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?

One molar solution.
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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What kind of band can't play music?

A rubber band.
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What is the strongest animal?

A snail because it carries it's home.
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A lorry-load of tortoises crashed into a trainload of terrapins,

What a turtle disaster

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What does GOP stand for?

Grabs Our Pussy.
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