Why can't Donald Trump be a Lannister?

Because he never pays his debts.
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How can you tell when a lawyer is lying?

Their lips are moving.
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How many Feminists does it take to change a light bulb?

That's not funny!!!
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.
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How many thought police does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There never was any light bulb.

Notes: Probably the only really good light bulb joke of 1984.
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A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."

The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?

Because it's pretty basic stuff.
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