Why can't Donald Trump be a Lannister?

Because he never pays his debts.
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What are the 10 letters of the pirate alphabet?

Aye, Aye, Arr and the Seven C's
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What do you call the best butter on the farm?

A goat.
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Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?

Just in case he got a hole in one!
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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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Which is the most religious cheese?

Emmental...it's very hol(e)y...
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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