Why can't Donald Trump be a Lannister?

Because he never pays his debts.
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What do you call a girl with a frog on her head?

Lilly.
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Where does the snowman hide his money?

In the snow bank.
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How many [ethnic] gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.
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What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?

Root position cords.

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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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