Why can't Donald Trump be a Lannister?

Because he never pays his debts.
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What is a ghost's favorite fruit?

Booberries!
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What did one wall say to the other?

I'll meet you at the corner.
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Why can't a bicycle stand up?

Because it's two tired!
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase.

I can hardly contain myself.

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They stopped a vulture from bringing his rotting carcasses on the plane

but he said "You said I could have two carry on items!"
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What lies on its back, one hundred feet in the air?

A dead centipede.

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What is a cat's favorite breakfast?

Mice krispies

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