Why can't Donald Trump be a Lannister?

Because he never pays his debts.
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What kind of dress can't be worn?

Address.
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What do you call two ants that run away to get married?

Ant-elopes!
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How many Yuppies (WASPs) does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call the electrician, and one to mix the drinks.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon!
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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.

It's a total rip-off.
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How many militarists does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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Now that Macy's has severed ties, with Donald Trump, how can the average American look like the President?

By hunting and killing their own hair piece.
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