Why can't Donald Trump be a Lannister?

Because he never pays his debts.
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I tried water polo but my horse drowned.
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What do you call a calf after it's six months old?

Seven months old.
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Where does a ten ton elephant sit?

Anywhere it wants to
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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What kind of pants do ghosts wear?

Boo-Jeans.
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What do Russians use for napkins?

Soviets
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How many dull people does it take to change a light bulb?

One.
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"My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance.

We'll see about that."

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