Why can't Donald Trump be a Lannister?

Because he never pays his debts.
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How much does a hipster weigh?

An instagram.
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What do postal workers do when they're mad?

They stamp their feet.
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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What's the slipperiest country?

Greece!
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Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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