Why can't Donald Trump be a Lannister?

Because he never pays his debts.
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What do you call a 400-pound gorilla?

Sir.
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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Why do pandas like old movies?

Because they are black and white.
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What do you get from a bad-tempered shark?

As far away as possible.
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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How did the egg cross the road?

It scrambled across!
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There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest.. He sent in ten different puns, in the hope that at least one of the puns would win.

Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.
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How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They have machines to do that now.
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