Why can't Donald Trump be a Lannister?

Because he never pays his debts.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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"Mommy, everyone says I look like a werewolf."

"Please be quiet and comb your face."
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Why is Donald Trump always seen with Melania?

Because all his other wives support Hillary.
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?

Wet feet.
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Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK.
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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Why did the cat go to Minnesota?

To get a mini soda
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