Why can't Donald Trump be a Lannister?

Because he never pays his debts.
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How many dadaists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

To get to the other side.
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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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What's a tree's favorite drink?

Rootbeer.
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How many database people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: one to write the light bulb removal program, one to write the light bulb insertion program, and one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
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What do you see when you look into Trump's eyes?

Answer: The back of his head.
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A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar.

The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"
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What do you call the security guards outside of Samsung.

The guardians of the galaxy!
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