Why can't Donald Trump be a Lannister?

Because he never pays his debts.
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How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.
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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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Why did the oreo go to the dentist?

To get his filling!
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Where do horses live?

In the neigh-borhood.
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How many believable, competent, ``just-right-for-the-job'' presidential candidates does it take to change a light bulb?

It's going to be a dark 4 years, isn't it?
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What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.
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How do Vikings send secret messages?

Norse code.
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