Why can't Donald Trump be a Lannister?

Because he never pays his debts.
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How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But the guitarist has to show him first.

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What do you do if your cat swallows your pencil?

Use a pen.
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Do you know how to save a drowning lawyer?

Take your foot off his head.
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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off.

"because," he said "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
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PMS jokes are not funny...

[Period]
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What does GOP stand for?

Grabs Our Pussy.
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