Why can't Donald Trump be a Lannister?

Because he never pays his debts.
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What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?

A brick layer!
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How many Union Lighting Technicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It's not a bulb, it's a globe.
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Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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How many archaeologists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One team, but they'll label every piece of the old one, mark its location in the room, and write a detailed description before determining that it was used to store cornmeal.
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How many referral agents does it take to change a light bulb?

Two: One to screw you out of a fee, and the other to send you to a store where they ran out of bulbs weeks ago.
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Why are Muslims worried about Trumps immigration plans?

Once you deport Juan you deport Jamal.
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What happened when the lion ate the comedian?

He felt funny.
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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