Why can't Donald Trump be a Lannister?

Because he never pays his debts.
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What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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What did the laywer name his daughter?

Sue.
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Did you hear about Michael Jackson's latest record?

"Feel the World."
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?

coz Donald ducked
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Why do loud, obnoxious whistles exist at some factories?

To give us some sort of appreciation for flutes.

Did you hear about that music composer who committed suicide? He didn't even leave a note.

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Who makes dinosaur clothes?

A dino-sewer.
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