Why can't Donald Trump be a Lannister?

Because he never pays his debts.
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What did one owl say to the other owl?

Happy Owl-ween!
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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What did the ceiling say to the chandelier?

You're the only bright spot in my life.
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What do you call a crate of ducks?

A box of quackers.
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What's black and white, black and white, black and white and green?

Three skunks fighting over a pickle

First dog: My master calls me Furball. How about you?
Second Dog: My master calls me Sitboy
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How do you know an elephant has been in your refrigerator?

There are footprints in the butter.
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Where do ghosts buy their food?

At the ghost-ery store!
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How many alumnae of (sorority name) does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change it and one to act as chaperone.
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