Why can't Donald Trump be a Lannister?

Because he never pays his debts.
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What do you do with a dead chemist?

Barium
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How many militarists does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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I just watched a program about beavers.

It was the best dam program I've ever seen.
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How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But the guitarist has to show him first.

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What do you call a mad elephant?

An earthquake.
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How many Ukrainians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None, because people who glow in the dark don't need light bulbs.

Note: Topical to the Chernobyl Reactor disaster of 1984.
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What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis
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How do you stop a dog barking in the back seat of a car?

Put him in the front seat.
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