Why can't Donald Trump be a Lannister?

Because he never pays his debts.
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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What do a viola and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is happy when the case is closed

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Why did the elephant leave the circus?

He was tired of working for peanuts.
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When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?

When you're a mouse.
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What do you call a guy who's born in Columbus, grows up in Cleveland, and then dies in Cincinnati?

Dead.
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What is the strongest animal?

A snail because it carries it's home.
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What is the world's longest punctuation mark?

The hundred yard dash.
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Why was the math book sad?

It had too many problems.
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