Why can't Donald Trump be a Lannister?

Because he never pays his debts.
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Why did the sun go to school?

To get brighter!
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What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

Frostbite.
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I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with

but I've been trippin' all day.
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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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When does New Year's Day come before Christmas Day?

Every year!
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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Why did the banana go to the hospital?

Because he wasn't peeling well!
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Why do you think Civil Disobedience was such a fantastic essay?

Thoreau editing Thorough.
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