Why can't Donald Trump be a Lannister?

Because he never pays his debts.
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What element is derived from a Norse god?

Thorium.
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Where do horses live?

In the neigh-borhood.
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Why did the strawberry call 911?

It was in a jam!
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon
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How many Union Lighting Technicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It's not a bulb, it's a globe.
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What do you call a fish without an eye?

Fsh
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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How do you get a trumpet to sound like a french horn?

Put your hand in the bell and play a lot of wrong notes.

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