Why can't Donald Trump be a Lannister?

Because he never pays his debts.
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How did Ben Franklin feel after discovering electricity?

Shocked.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.

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How many freelance biotechnologists does it take to change a light bulb?

One; she designs the bulb to crawl up the wall, unscrew the old one, and screw itself in.

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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.

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What do you get if you cross an insect with the Easter rabbit?

Bugs Bunny.

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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.

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How many teenage girls does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One, but she'll be on the phone for five hours telling all her friends about it.

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How did the butcher introduce his wife?

Meet Patty.

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