Why can't Donald Trump be a Lannister?

Because he never pays his debts.
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How many sound engineers does it take to change a light bulb

None, sound engineers don't do lights
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I stayed up all night because I wanted to see where the sun went,

and then it dawned on me.
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How many professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but they get three tech. reports out of it.
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Why is Superman's costume so tight?

Because he wears a size "S".
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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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What do you call a rabbit with beetles all over it?

Bugs Bunny.
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I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day.

Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.

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Where do cars go for a swim?

At the carpool!
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