Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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What's round and bad-tempered?

A vicious circle.
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"

The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".
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What is a baby's motto?

If at first you don't succeed, cry and cry again!
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What did the calculator say to the math student?

You can count on me!
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