Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos

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What's black and white and red all over?

A blushing zebra.

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How do you know Donald Trump is talking to you?

Cause your the only one Hair.
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What did the mother broom say to the baby broom?

It's time to go to sweep.

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What lies on its back, one hundred feet in the air?

A dead centipede.

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What do you call a fat pumpkin?

A plumpkin.
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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.
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