Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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What has ears like a cat and a tail like a cat, but is not a cat?

A kitten.
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What do you call a cow with no legs?

Ground beef.
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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What has four legs, a trunk, and sunglasses?

A mouse on vacation.
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What's black and white, black and white, black and white and green?

Three skunks fighting over a pickle

First dog: My master calls me Furball. How about you?
Second Dog: My master calls me Sitboy
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Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK.
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What goes tick-tock, bow-wow, tick-tock, bow-wow?

A watch dog.
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