Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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What is a shark's favorite sandwich?

Peanut butter and jellyfish.
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When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?

When you're a mouse.
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Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15 Degrees C

and still be 0k?
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How do you know an elephant has been in your refrigerator?

There are footprints in the butter.
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What do you call a guy who's born in Columbus, grows up in Cleveland, and then dies in Cincinnati?

Dead.
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What has one horn and gives milk?

A milk truck.
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If you don't know what introspection is,

you need to take a long, hard look at yourself.
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Why was the cat afraid of a tree?

Because of the bark
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