Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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What does a witch use to keep her hair up?

Scarespray!
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What do you call a public servant who doesn't take crap from Republicans or Democrats?

Donald Trump.
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What do you do when your chair breaks?

Call a chairman.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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What is a snowman's favorite breakfast?

Frosted Flakes!
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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What do you call a cheese factory in the Middle East?

Cheeses of Nazareth.
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If H20 is water, what is H204?

Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
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