Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?

Just in case he got a hole in one!
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"Dyslexic man walks into a bra"
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How many thought police does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There never was any light bulb.

Notes: Probably the only really good light bulb joke of 1984.
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How many Sound Recordists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

WHAT?
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What kind of dessert does a ghost like?

I scream!
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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Why did the drum take a nap?

It was beat.
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What do you give a pig with a rash?

Oinkment.
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