Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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How did the butcher introduce his wife?

Meet Patty.
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What do you call a pig that does karate?

A pork chop.
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How do you make a musician's car more aerodynamic?

Take the pizza delivery sign off the roof

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If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why don't you swerve to hit him?

It might be your bicycle.
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What school do you have to drop out of to graduate from?

Parachute school!
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Why does Trump love the poorly educated?

Because they only know their ABCs "Anybody But Clinton".
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What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?

A spelling bee!
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What letter can you drink?

T (tea)
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