Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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What do ghosts eat for supper?

Spooketi
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Why can't you compare Donald Trump to cancer?

Because sometimes you can get rid of cancer.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He made an illegal ewe turn.
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I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite

He said NaBrO
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How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
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What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?

A chili dog on a bun.
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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?

When you're a mouse.
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