Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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Dorian Gray Jokes,

they never get old!
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Why was the ant so confused?

Because all his uncles were "ants"!
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What do you call a cow that plays a musical instrument?

A Moo-sician!

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What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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What happened when 500 hares got loose on Main Street?

The police had to comb the area.
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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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What did the ghost say to the other ghost?

Do you believe in humans?
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What did one eye say to the other?

Between you and me, something smells.
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