Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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What's a frog's favorite drink?

Croak-a-cola.
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What did the snail say when he got on the turtle's shell?

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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What's black and white, black and white, black and white and green?

Three skunks fighting over a pickle

First dog: My master calls me Furball. How about you?
Second Dog: My master calls me Sitboy
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Why do pandas like old movies?

Because they are black and white.
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How many Yuppies (WASPs) does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call the electrician, and one to mix the drinks.
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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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Why was the cat afraid of a tree?

Because of the bark
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