Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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What's an alligator's favorite drink?

Gator-Ade.
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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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Why did the tree go to the dentist?

It needed a root canal.
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What do you call a sleeping bull?

A bulldozer
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How many fire safety guys dose it take to screw in a light bulb?

One -- but it's an 8 hour minimum.
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A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."

The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."
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Where did the sheep go on vacation?

The baaaahamas
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How many stock brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes (knowing that it's already burned out).
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