Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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When did the fly fly?

When the spider spied her!
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What kind of cats like to go bowling?

Alley cats.
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Why did the poultry farmer become a school teacher?

So he could grade his eggs.
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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What's the only difference between Donald Trump and Bozo the Clown?

Bozo The Clown has real hair on his head.
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?

Fo Drizzle!

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How do you catch a tame bird?

The tame way, unique up on it!
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