Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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What do you call a fish without an eye?

Fsh
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How do you know when its Michael Jacksons bed time ?

When the big hand touches the little hand
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How does a train sneeze?

Ah-choo-choo!
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How many cops does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. It turned itself in.
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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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What do you call a cheese factory in the Middle East?

Cheeses of Nazareth.
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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish
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How many ergonomicists does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. Four to decide which way the bulb ought to turn, and . . .
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