Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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Three people were in a boat. They all fell off. Only two people ended up with wet hair. Why didn't the other person's hair get wet?

Because he was bald!
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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A mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno, dos..." and then

*poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
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What do you call a parrot that flew away?

A polygon
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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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What do whales eat?

Fish and ships.
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