Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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What do you get if you cross an insect with the Easter rabbit?

Bugs Bunny.
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How do you make a hot dog stand?

Steal its chair.
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What do you call a pig who knows karate?

Porkchop
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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How many fatalists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What does it matter? we're all gonna die anyway.
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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How do you catch a tame bird?

The tame way, unique up on it!
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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