Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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How many economists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to assume the ladder and one to change the bulb.

A': None. If the government would just leave it alone, it would screw itself in.
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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Why did Mozart kill his chickens?

Because they always ran around going "Bach! Bach! Bach!"

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Why did they kick cinderella off the baseball team?

She kept running away from the ball.
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A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"

The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".
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