Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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Why does a stork stand on one leg?

Because it would fall over if it lifted the other one.
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Trump: "Foreign Policy?,

if you mess with the United States, there will be hell toupee."

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Why did the thief take a shower?

He wanted to make a clean getaway!
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What is a lion's favorite state?

Maine
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Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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Why did the cat go to Minnesota?

To get a mini soda
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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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