Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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How many fatalists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What does it matter? we're all gonna die anyway.
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How many Microsoft executives does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Bill Gates will just redefine Darkness® as the industry standard.
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What do you get if Bach falls off a horse but has the courage to get on again and continue riding?

Bach in the saddle again.

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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.
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What do you call lending money to a bison?

A buff-a-loan
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What is the chemical formula for "banana"?

BaNa2
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Why did God invent lawyers?

So that real estate agents would have someone to look down on.
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