Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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How many Feminists does it take to change a light bulb?

That's not funny!!!
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What kind of eggs does a wicked chicken lay?

Deviled eggs.
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What kind of shoes do bannanas make?

Slippers!
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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How did the butcher introduce his wife?

Meet Patty.
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What would you call a humorous knee?

Fun-ny!
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How do you get a trumpet to sound like a french horn?

Put your hand in the bell and play a lot of wrong notes.

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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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