Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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Why did Lil Wayne go to the Doctor?

He was feeling a Lil Weezy

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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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What's round and bad-tempered?

A vicious circle.
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Why don't lawyers go to the beach?

Cats keep trying to bury them.
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What did one magnet say to the other?

I find you very attractive.
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Why was the woman fired from the car assembly line?

She was caught taking a brake.
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Two aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married.

The ceremony was rubbish - but the reception was brilliant.

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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck
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