Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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What is a tree's favorite drink?

Root beer.
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How many brewers does it take to change a light bulb?

About one third less than for a regular bulb.
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What do Michael Jackson and x-boxs have in common?

They're both plastic and little boys turn them on.
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How do you make a musician's car more aerodynamic?

Take the pizza delivery sign off the roof

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Which runs faster, hot or cold water?

Hot, because you can catch cold.
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How many lawyers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Three, One to climb the ladder. One to shake it. And one to sue the ladder company.
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How many Feminists does it take to change a light bulb?

That's not funny!!!
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Why is Superman's costume so tight?

Because he wears a size "S".
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