Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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How many Bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb??

What's a light bulb?
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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What do you get when you cross a roll of wool and a kangaroo?

A woolen jumper
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Where do you get whales weighed?

At the Whale-weigh station.
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Where do cars go for a swim?

At the carpool!
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In what school do you learn how to greet people?

Hi school.
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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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How many lawyers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Three, One to climb the ladder. One to shake it. And one to sue the ladder company.
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