Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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Why did the strawberry call 911?

It was in a jam!
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What do you call a crate of ducks?

A box of quackers.
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When is a car not a car?

When it turns into a garage.
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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What concert costs 45 cents?

50 cent featuring Nickelback

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How many art directors does it take to screw in a light bulb

Does it have to be a light bulb? I've got this neat candle holder...
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How does a bird with a broken wing manage to land safely?

With its sparrowchute.
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What is the easiest way to count a herd of cattle?

With a cowculator.
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