Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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What kind of cats like to go bowling?

Alley cats.
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What is the most important rule in chemistry?

Never lick the spoon!
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How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.
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What do you call a pig that does karate?

A pork chop.
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Why did the farmer wear one boot to town?

Because he heard there would be a 50% chance of snow!
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Can you say Richard and Robert had a rabbit without using the "r" sound?

Sure, Dick and Bob had a bunny!
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How many Bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb??

What's a light bulb?
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