Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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What happened when the monster ate the electric company?

He was in shock for a week.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
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What do you call a pig who knows karate?

Porkchop
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Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day

but I couldn't find any.

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If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they'd be alloys.
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