Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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What happens when you play Beethoven backwards?

He decomposes.

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My first girlfriend was a tennis player but she broke my heart.

It was like love meant nothing to her.
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Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?

It was two tired.
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What did Delaware?

A New Jersey.
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Why did the singer climb a ladder?

She wanted to reach the high notes!

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What do you get when you cross a Cocker Spaniel,
a Poodle and a ghost?

A cocker poodle boo.
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There were five people under one umbrella. Why didn't they get wet?

It wasn't raining!
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Why doesn't Melania Trump want to be the first lady?

Because she would have to move into a smaller house.
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