Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon!
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What kind of cats like to go bowling?

Alley cats.
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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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How is Donald Trump going to create middle class jobs?

By paying them to cheer for him during campaign events.
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What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.
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What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house?

Hope it's Halloween!!
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What's worse than a worm in your apple?

Half a worm.
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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