Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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What do you call a crate of ducks?

A box of quackers.
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How many Executive Producers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Executive Producers don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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How many magicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends on what you want to change it into.
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What do you get from a bad-tempered shark?

As far away as possible.
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What kind of band can't play music?

A rubber band.
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How many Anglicans does it take to change a lightbulb?

A whole synod. One to move that the bulb be changed while the others debate until the room spins.
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What does Santa like to do in the garden?

Hoe, hoe, hoe!
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Why should you never tell a secret in a corn field?

Because there are too many ears.
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