Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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Why are babies good at soccer?

Because they dribble!
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How do dinosaurs pay their bills?

With Tyrannosaurus checks.
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How many Mensans does it take to tell Mensa light bulb jokes?

Five. One to tell the joke and one to get it.
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What can you hold without ever touching it?

A conversation.
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How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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Went to the corner shop -

bought 4 corners.

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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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