Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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What did the mother broom say to the baby broom?

It's time to go to sweep.
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What do you call the king of vegetables?

Elvis Parsley.
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How do dinosaurs pay their bills?

With Tyrannosaurus checks.
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What are the 10 letters of the pirate alphabet?

Aye, Aye, Arr and the Seven C's
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Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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What do you call a pig that's been arrested for dangerous driving?

A road hog.
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What`s black & white & red all over?

An embarrased mime!
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When does New Year's Day come before Christmas Day?

Every year!
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