Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

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The other day I sent my girlfriend a huge pile of snow.

I rang her up, I said "Did you get my drift?".
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Why are elephants wrinkled?

Because they don't fit on a ironing board
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How many art directors does it take to screw in a light bulb

Does it have to be a light bulb? I've got this neat candle holder...
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Who makes the best cake on a baseball team?

The batter.
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What is a ghost's favorite pie?

Booberry pie!
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What did the class clown take a computer to school?

Her mom told her to bring in an apple for the teacher.
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What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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