Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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Clowns divorce:

custardy battle.
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How many Sound Recordists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

WHAT?
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Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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How many data base people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three:

One to write the light bulb removal program,
one to write the light bulb insertion program, and

one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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How many lawyer jokes are there?

Only three. The rest are true stories.
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?

Because it's pretty basic stuff.
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