Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?

H2O cubed.
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What's black and white, black and white, black and white and green?

Three skunks fighting over a pickle

First dog: My master calls me Furball. How about you?
Second Dog: My master calls me Sitboy
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How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one more, guys, I promise.
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What does an octopus wear when it gets cold?

A coat of arms.
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How many [ethnics] does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Ten. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.
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Where do you go to find a million story building?

You go to the Library!
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What do you see when you look into Trump's eyes?

Answer: The back of his head.
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What do you call a fish without an eye?

Fsh
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