Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day

but I couldn't find any.

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What happens when frogs park illegally?

They get toad.
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What's round and bad-tempered?

A vicious circle.
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There were five people under one umbrella. Why didn't they get wet?

It wasn't raining!
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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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What do you call a cow that's just given birth?

[De-Calf-Inated]
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What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house?

Hope it's Halloween!!
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What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?

Its shadow
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