Why can't you compare Donald Trump to cancer?

Because sometimes you can get rid of cancer.
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Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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Why did the elephant leave the circus?

He was tired of working for peanuts.
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How many [ethnics] does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Ten. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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What is the strongest animal?

A snail because it carries it's home.
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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What do you call 5000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?

A good start!
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