Why can't you compare Donald Trump to cancer?

Because sometimes you can get rid of cancer.
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Have you seen the new HGTV show about the Whitehouse makeover?

It's called "Trump It or Dump It".
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When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?

When you're a mouse.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and God?

God doesn't think he's a lawyer.
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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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Why doesn't Donald Trump sweat like Marco Rubio?

Because he has such yuuuuge fans!
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: one to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.
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What kind of motorcycle does Santa ride?

Holly Davidson.
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