Why can't you compare Donald Trump to cancer?

Because sometimes you can get rid of cancer.
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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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What's the definition of perfect pitch?

When you toss a banjo in the garbage and it hits an accordion.

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline?

You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline.
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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What's the difference between a jellyfish and a lawyer?

One's a spineless, poisonous blob. The other is a form of sea life.
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How many APL hackers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There's a primitive for that.
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What has four wheels and flies?

A garbage truck.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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