Why can't you compare Donald Trump to cancer?

Because sometimes you can get rid of cancer.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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A jump-lead walks into a bar.

The barman says "I'll serve you, but don't start anything"
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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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The new band called 1023MB.

They haven't had any gigs yet
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What's the definition of perfect pitch?

When you toss a banjo in the garbage and it hits an accordion.

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What did the peanut say to the walnut?

Nothing. Nuts can't talk.
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How does a pig go to hospital?

In a hambulance.
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Why was the ant so confused?

Because all his uncles were "ants"!
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