Why can't you compare Donald Trump to cancer?

Because sometimes you can get rid of cancer.
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Why are the floors of basketball courts always so damp?

The players dribble a lot.
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How do you get a trombonist off of your porch?

Pay him for the pizza

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What did the painter say to the wall?

I got you covered.
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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Why do seagulls fly over the sea?

Because if they flew over the bay, they'd be baygulls!
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I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase.

I can hardly contain myself.

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What do you call a thieving alligator?

A crookodile
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How many Wardrobe people does it take to screw in a light bulb?

"Nobody said I needed doubles on that!"
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