Why can't you compare Donald Trump to cancer?

Because sometimes you can get rid of cancer.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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Why did the turtle cross the road?

To get to the shell station.
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What's round and bad-tempered?

A vicious circle.
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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What has a lot of keys but can not open any doors?

A piano.
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