Why can't you compare Donald Trump to cancer?

Because sometimes you can get rid of cancer.
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What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?

There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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How do you tell you're kissing a french horn player?

He/She keeps trying to stick their fist up your butt.

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Why does everybody like Frosty the Snowman?

Because he is so cool!
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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What country makes you shiver?

Chile.
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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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What happened when the lion ate the comedian?

He felt funny.
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