Why can't you compare Donald Trump to cancer?

Because sometimes you can get rid of cancer.
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Why are the floors of basketball courts always so damp?

The players dribble a lot.
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What is the most important rule in chemistry?

Never lick the spoon!
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Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.
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How many teenage girls does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One, but she'll be on the phone for five hours telling all her friends about it.
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What did the porcupine say to the cactus?

Is that you mommy?
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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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How many Iraqis does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It doesn't matter, they don't have any electricity any more.
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