Why can't you compare Donald Trump to cancer?

Because sometimes you can get rid of cancer.
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How can you tell is a singer is at your door?

They can't find the key, and they never know when to come in.
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How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
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Silver walks up to Gold in a bar and says, "AU, get outta here!"
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What day of the week tastes the best?

Sunday!
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I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with

but I've been trippin' all day.
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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How many pre-med students does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: One to change the bulb and four to pull the ladder out from under him/her.
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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