Why can't you compare Donald Trump to cancer?

Because sometimes you can get rid of cancer.
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How many agnostics does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Agnostics question whether electricity really exists.
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What kind of ties can't you wear?

Railroad ties.
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What did the number 0 say to number 8?

Nice belt!
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What do you call a smiling, sober, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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Have you seen the new HGTV show about the Whitehouse makeover?

It's called "Trump It or Dump It".
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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".
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