Why can't you compare Donald Trump to cancer?

Because sometimes you can get rid of cancer.
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What did the Donald tell an illegal immigrant who was trying to put out a fire at Trump Tower?

No way Hose A.
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What did one eye say to the other?

Between you and me, something smells.
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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What do you give a sick bird?

Tweetment.
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How do you make a fire with two sticks?

Make sure one is a match!
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What do you get if Bach falls off a horse but has the courage to get on again and continue riding?

Bach in the saddle again.

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Why did New Jersey get all the toxic waste and California all the lawyers?

New Jersey got to pick first.
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How many actors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. They don't like to share the spotlight.
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