Why can't you compare Donald Trump to cancer?

Because sometimes you can get rid of cancer.
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Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.
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Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Well, first let's talk about the concept behind this whole "light bulb" thing.
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How do you fix a broken brass instrument?

With a Tuba glue.

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What's the difference between a vacuum cleaner and a lawyer on a motorcycle?

The vacuum cleaner has the dirt bag on the inside.
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