Why can't you compare Donald Trump to cancer?

Because sometimes you can get rid of cancer.
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What did the man on the beach say to Michael Jackson?

Get out of my sun!
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What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?

CSI
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How many TV comedians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to say "Sock it to Me." (Notes: Sock it = Socket. Also, for the infant readers among you, this was a popular catch-phrase from "Laugh In.")
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Why did the farmer wear one boot to town?

Because he heard there would be a 50% chance of snow!
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Who's richer — the butcher, the baker, or the candlestick maker?

The baker, because he has lots of dough.
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I just watched a program about beavers.

It was the best dam program I've ever seen.
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Why did the elephant leave the circus?

He was tired of working for peanuts.
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What kind of underwear to reporters wear?

News briefs.
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