Why can't you compare Donald Trump to cancer?

Because sometimes you can get rid of cancer.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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What kind of cat should you never play games with?

A cheetah
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What do whales eat?

Fish and ships.
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What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?

White vans.
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How many singers from Nashville does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change it, one to sing about how heartbroken he is at the loss of the old one, one to sing about how madly in love he is with the new one, and one to go "Yee-Hah!" and throw his cowboy hat in the air.
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Knock, knock
Who's there?
Merry.
Merry who?

Merry Christmas!
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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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What did the one penny say to the other penny?

We make perfect cents.
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