Why can't you say a joke while standing on ice?

Because it might crack up!
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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck
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How many database people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: one to write the light bulb removal program, one to write the light bulb insertion program, and one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
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What do you call a pig that's been arrested for dangerous driving?

A road hog.
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What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from?

Separation anxiety.
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How do you make a musician's car more aerodynamic?

Take the pizza delivery sign off the roof

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What's the definition of perfect pitch?

When you toss a banjo in the garbage and it hits an accordion.

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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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What kind of shoes do bannanas make?

Slippers!
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Why was the baseball game so hot?

Because all the fans left!
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