Why can't you say a joke while standing on ice?

Because it might crack up!
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What happens when you play Beethoven backwards?

He decomposes.

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What did the little girl say when she had to choose between a tricycle and a candy bar?

"Trike or Treat"?
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What's black and white and red all over?

A newspaper!
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What do lawyers wear in court?

Lawsuits.
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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've been framed!
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What do you get when you cross a witch with sand?

A sandwich!
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What do you call a cheese factory in the Middle East?

Cheeses of Nazareth.
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If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they'd be alloys.
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How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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