Why can't you say a joke while standing on ice?

Because it might crack up!
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What did the alien say to the garden?

Take me to your weeder!
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What is Donald Trump telling all his supporters?


Orange Is The New Black.
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How many Jewish renewal rabbis does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends. One, if it's an eco-kosher bulb that isn't going to be lit by electricity generated from nuclear power. Two, as long as a man and a woman rabbi have equal turns putting in the bulb. Three, one to change it, one to do a Buddhist mindfulness practice during the change, and one to document the paradigm shift in a best-selling book called The Jew in the Lightbulb. Four, same as above plus an additional rabbi to study the psycho-halachic implications of such a change and then lead a retreat weekend on the experience.
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What do vampires take when they are sick?

Coffin drops!
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What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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What do you see when you look into Trump's eyes?

Answer: The back of his head.
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Why did the oreo go to the dentist?

To get his filling!
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Why did Bach have so many children?

He did not have a stop on his organ.

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