Why can't you say a joke while standing on ice?

Because it might crack up!
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What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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How do you catch a squirrel?

Climb up a tree and act like a nut
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech?

After you die, a leech stops sucking your blood.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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What is Donald Trumps campaign slogan?

"A complex world demands complex hair."
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How many dadaists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

To get to the other side.
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What do you call a bankrupt Santa?

Saint Nickel-less.
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How do you know Donald Trump is talking to you?

Cause your the only one Hair.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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