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Why can't you say a joke while standing on ice?
Because it might crack up!
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Why can't a bicycle stand up?
Because it's two tired!
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Customer: "Do you have alligator shoes?"
Clerk: "Yes, sir. What size does your alligator wear?"
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How do you make a band stand?
Take their chairs away!
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Knock, knock
Who's there?
Merry.
Merry who?
Merry Christmas!
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How much does a hipster weigh?
An instagram.
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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?
Stuck
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What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?
OH SNaP!
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What kind of potato chips fly?
Plane ones.
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What is a frog's favorite year?
Leap Year
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