Why can't you say a joke while standing on ice?

Because it might crack up!
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Why are there fences around a graveyard?

Because people are dying to get in!
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What do birds say on Halloween?

Twick o tweet
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What do you call a bankrupt Santa?

Saint Nickel-less.
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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How many agnostics does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Agnostics question whether electricity really exists.
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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How many graduate students does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it may take upwards of five years for him to get it done.
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