Why can't you say a joke while standing on ice?

Because it might crack up!
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What has four legs and goes "Oom, Oom"?

A cow walking backwards
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How many accountants does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What kind of answer did you have in mind?
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Why did the news reporter go to the ice cream parlor?

Because she wanted to get a good scoop.
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How many agnostics does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Agnostics question whether electricity really exists.
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What do you call an exploding monkey?

A baboom
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How many U.S. Marines does it take to change a light bulb?

Fifty — one to screw in the bulb and 49 to guard him/her.
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Why do ghosts make good cheerleaders?

Because they have a lot of spirit.
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What do you call a musician with a college degree?

Night manager at McDonalds

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What do you call a scared train?

A fright train!
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