Why can't you say a joke while standing on ice?

Because it might crack up!
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What do birds say on Halloween?

Twick o tweet
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Why did the computer squeak?

Someone stepped on its mouse.
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Why was the cat afraid of a tree?

Because of the bark
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What is the opposite of a restaurant?

A workaraunt.
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How many investment brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes.
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What happened when the lion ate the comedian?

He felt funny.
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Why is tennis such a loud game?

Because each player raises a racquet.
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What do you call a smiling, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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How does a train sneeze?

Ah-choo-choo!
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