Why can't you say a joke while standing on ice?

Because it might crack up!
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How many Klingons does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two. One to screw it in, and one to stab the other in the back and take all the credit.
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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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What breakfast cereal does Frosty the Snowman eat?

Snowflakes.
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How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only two, but the hard part is getting them into the light bulb.
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Why was the piano player arrested?

Because he got into treble with the cops

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How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
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What is "HIJKLMNO"?

H2O.
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I went down the local supermarket, I said, "I want to make a complaint, this vinegar's got lumps in it",

he said, "Those are pickled onions".

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