Why can't you say a joke while standing on ice?

Because it might crack up!
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Trump: "It's not a toupee,

I just found the Bush that Jeb lost."
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Where are sharks from?

Finland.
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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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Who's richer — the butcher, the baker, or the candlestick maker?

The baker, because he has lots of dough.
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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What element is derived from a Norse god?

Thorium.
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How many junkies does it take to screw in a light bulb?

``Oh wow, is it like dark, man?''
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What cell phones do travelling nuns use?

Virgin mobile.
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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