Why can't you say a joke while standing on ice?

Because it might crack up!

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What do you call a mad elephant?

An earthquake.

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What do you call a deer that costs a dollar?

A buck.

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How many chiropractors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but it takes six visits.

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What do you call a king who is only 12 inches tall?

A ruler.
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Whats Donald Trump's favorite nation?

Discrimination.
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.

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What is a lion's favorite state?

Maine

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What has 6 eyes but can't see?

3 blind mice.

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