Why can't you say a joke while standing on ice?

Because it might crack up!

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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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What is at the end of everything?

The letter G.
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What lies on its back, one hundred feet in the air?

A dead centipede.

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How do you know when the moon has enough to eat?

When it's full.

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How does a mouse feel after it takes a shower?

Squeaky clean

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Where do orcas hear music?

Orca-stras

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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.

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How do you stop a dog barking in the back seat of a car?

Put him in the front seat.
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What's brown and looks really good on a lawyer?

A Doberman.
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