Why can't you say a joke while standing on ice?

Because it might crack up!
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Why did the cat go to Minnesota?

To get a mini soda
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What happened when the butcher backed up into his meat grinder?

he got a little behind in his work.
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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What do you call a deer with no eyes?

No I deer
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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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What`s black & white & red all over?

An embarrased mime!
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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?

Drinking.
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What has four legs, a trunk, and sunglasses?

A mouse on vacation.
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