Why can't you say a joke while standing on ice?

Because it might crack up!
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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How many members of the United Church of Canada does it take to change a light bulb?

How dare you be so intolerant! So what if the light bulb has chosen an alternative light-style?
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How Many lead guitarist does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just steal somebody else's light.
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What is a tornado's favorite game?

Twister!
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What do you get when you plant a frog?

A cr-oak tree.
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What is the best time to go to the dentist?

Tooth-hurty.
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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How do they serve smart hamburgers?

On honor rolls.
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