Why can't you say a joke while standing on ice?

Because it might crack up!
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Where do you go to find a million story building?

You go to the Library!
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase.

I can hardly contain myself.

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How do you know an elephant has been in your refrigerator?

There are footprints in the butter.
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How many fire safety guys dose it take to screw in a light bulb?

One -- but it's an 8 hour minimum.
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Why was the piano player arrested?

Because he got into treble with the cops

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Why was the baseball game so hot?

Because all the fans left!
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How many nuclear engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to install the new bulb and six to figure out what to do with the old one for the next 10,000 years.
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