Why can't you say a joke while standing on ice?

Because it might crack up!
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Why did the banana go to the hospital?

Because he wasn't peeling well!
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How many stock brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes (knowing that it's already burned out).
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What did the boat say to the pier?

What's up, dock?
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What's a puppy's favorite kind of pizza?

Pupperoni.
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Why shouldn't Donald Trump rag on illegal immigrants?

Because an undocumented worker has been living on his head for the past 2 decades!
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What is a ghost's favorite pie?

Booberry pie!
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What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis
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How many junkies does it take to change a light bulb?

Oh wow, is it, like, dark, man?
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Does it take longer to run from 1st base to 2nd, or from 2nd to 3rd?

From 2nd to 3rd because there's a shortstop in the middle.
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