Why can't you say a joke while standing on ice?

Because it might crack up!
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How many IBM PC owners does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but she/he'll have to go out and buy the light bulb adaptor card first, which is extra.
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Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks.

They charged one - and let the other one off.

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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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Who makes dinosaur clothes?

A dino-sewer.
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they'd be alloys.
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Why are lawyers like nuclear weapons?

If one side has one, the other side has to get one. Once launched, they cannot be recalled. When they land, they screw up everything forever.
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What's 182 feet tall and made out of pepperoni and cheese?

The leaning tower of Pizza.
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What did Michael Jackson tell the little boy?

"The way you make me feel, it really turns me on!"
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