Why can't you say a joke while standing on ice?

Because it might crack up!
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How many subscribers to AOL does it take to change a light bulb?

What? You can change light bulbs?
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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If H20 is water, what is H204?

Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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What do you get when you plant a frog?

A cr-oak tree.
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Why did Mozart sell his chickens?

Because they kept saying "bach bach"!
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What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 100?
Your Honor.
What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 50

Senator.
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Where do ghosts buy their food?

At the ghost-ery store!
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