Why can't you say a joke while standing on ice?

Because it might crack up!
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Where are sharks from?

Finland.
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What' the difference between a lawyer and a boxing referee?

A boxing referee doesn't get paid more for a longer fight.
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What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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There are 10 kinds of people in the world.

Those who read binary and those who don't.
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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Why do pandas like old movies?

Because they are black and white.
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Doc, I can't stop singing the 'Green Green Grass of Home'. He said: 'That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome'. 'Is it common?'I asked.

'It's not unusual' he replied.

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