Why can't you say a joke while standing on ice?

Because it might crack up!
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Why did the lamb cross the road?

To get to the baaaaarber shop
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How is Donald Trump going to create middle class jobs?

By paying them to cheer for him during campaign events.
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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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What does a witch use to keep her hair up?

Scarespray!
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Why do pandas like old movies?

Because they are black and white.
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What do an accordion and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is relieved when the case is closed.

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If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they'd be alloys.
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When the attendant asked the photon if it had any bags to check

It said Nah, I'm traveling light.
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There's a fine line between a numerator and denominator.

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