Why can't you say a joke while standing on ice?

Because it might crack up!
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When is a door not a door?

When it's ajar!
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Why did the sun go to school?

To get brighter!
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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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Where did the sheep go on vacation?

The baaaahamas
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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Where does a ten ton elephant sit?

Anywhere it wants to
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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Why did the Blonde stare at the Orange Juice carton?

Because it said CONCENTRATE.
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