Why can't you say a joke while standing on ice?

Because it might crack up!
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What did the drummer get on his I.Q. Test?

Saliva
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If the red house is on the left,the blue house is on the right,where is the White House?

In Washington, D.C.
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What did the policeman say when his tummy was rumbling?

Stop! You're under a vest.
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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Why don't aliens celebrate Chistmas?

Because they don't want to give away their presence.
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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