Why can't you say a joke while standing on ice?

Because it might crack up!
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How do you make Halloween great again?

By carving a Trumpkin.
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What is up in the air and wobbles?

A jellycopter
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How many Einsteins does it take to change a light bulb?

That depends on the speed of the change and the mass of the bulb. Or vice versa, of course. It just might be easier to leave the bulb and change the room. It's all relative.
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
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What is always hot in the refrigerator?

Chili
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Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team?

She ran away from the ball.
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How many conservatives does it take to change a light bulb?

One; after reflecting in the twilight on the merit of the previous bulb.
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What is a lion's favorite state?

Maine
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