Why can't you say a joke while standing on ice?

Because it might crack up!
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What do you get if Bach falls off a horse but has the courage to get on again and continue riding?

Bach in the saddle again.

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How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."
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How does Donald Trump plan on deporting 12 million illegal immigrants?

Juan by Juan.
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What happened when the lion ate the comedian?

He felt funny.
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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Some people believe that becoming a vegitarian is just a mistake...

A Missed-steak.
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Why was 6 afraid of 7?

Because 7 ate 9.
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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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