Why can't you say a joke while standing on ice?

Because it might crack up!
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Where do computers go to dance?

The disk-o!
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What letter can you drink?

T (tea)
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How do you make a band stand?

Take their chairs away!
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What do you call a deer that costs a dollar?

A buck.
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Why did the turtle cross the road?

To get to the shell station.
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You see my next-door neighbour worships exhaust pipes,

he's a catholic converter.


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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why don't you swerve to hit him?

It might be your bicycle.
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How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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