Why can't you say a joke while standing on ice?

Because it might crack up!
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?

He got Avogadro's number!
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What is the best time to go to the dentist?

Tooth-hurty.
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What's black and white and red all over?

A newspaper!
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What is Donald Trumps biggest dilemma now that he's president?

Finding a cabinet position for the thing on his head!
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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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What has four wheels and flies?

A garbage truck.
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What does cheese say to itself in the mirror?

Halloumi.
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