Why can't you say a joke while standing on ice?

Because it might crack up!
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What does Donald Trump say when he can't find his Viagra?

"The erection is rigged!"
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What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 100?
Your Honor.
What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 50

Senator.
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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What do you call 25 attorneys buried up to their chins in cement?

Not enough cement.
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What did the Donald tell an illegal immigrant who was trying to put out a fire at Trump Tower?

No way Hose A.
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PMS jokes are not funny...

[Period]
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off.

"because," he said "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
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