Why can't you say a joke while standing on ice?

Because it might crack up!
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How many Bratzlaver Chassidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find one that burned as brightly as the first one.
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Two aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married.

The ceremony was rubbish - but the reception was brilliant.

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Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.
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What is Donald Trump telling all his supporters?


Orange Is The New Black.
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What do you call a boomerang that won't come back?

A stick.
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What's the difference between a musician and a 14-inch pizza?

A 14-inch pizza can feed a family of four

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I said to this train driver "I want to go to Paris". He said "Eurostar?"

I said, "I've been on telly but I'm no Dean Martin".
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What did one flower say to the other flower?

Hey, bud!
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Where do horses live?

In the neigh-borhood.
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