Why can't you say a joke while standing on ice?

Because it might crack up!
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When are kids most likely to go to school?

When the door is open.
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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Where are sharks from?

Finland.
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What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?

White vans.
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Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?

It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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There's two fish in a tank, and one says "How do you drive this thing?"
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How many French Horn players does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he/she will spend hours checking for technical problems.
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How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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