Why can't you say a joke while standing on ice?

Because it might crack up!
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What do you call a movie about Donald Trump, Bernie Madoff, and Kenneth Lay?

The League of Extraordinary Con Men.
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What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?

White vans.
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They stopped a vulture from bringing his rotting carcasses on the plane

but he said "You said I could have two carry on items!"
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How many Christians does it take to change a light bulb?

Three, but they're really only one.
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What do Santa's elves drive?

Minivans.
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How many tenors does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change the bulb and three to whine "It's too high"
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If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why don't you swerve to hit him?

It might be your bicycle.
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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Why did the orange stop in the middle of the hill?

It ran out of juice!
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