Why can't you say a joke while standing on ice?

Because it might crack up!
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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And how come her cell phone bill was so high?

She was a Roman (roamin) Catholic
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What is black ,white and red all over?

A sunburnt penguin
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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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What did Tennessee?

The same thing Arkansas.
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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What happened when the monster ate the electric company?

He was in shock for a week.
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What do you get if you cross an insect with the Easter rabbit?

Bugs Bunny.
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Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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