Why can't you say a joke while standing on ice?

Because it might crack up!
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How many IBM engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just let Marketing explain that "Dead Bulb" is a feature.
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How many law professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Hell, you need 250 just to lobby for the research grant.
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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What do Santa's elves drink?

Minnesoda.
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I tried water polo but my horse drowned.
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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Why are Muslims worried about Trumps immigration plans?

Once you deport Juan you deport Jamal.
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What does a skeleton say before dinner?

Bone appetit!
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How do you make an egg laugh?

Tell it a yolk.
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