Why can't you say a joke while standing on ice?

Because it might crack up!
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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How do you make an egg laugh?

Tell it a yolk.
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Why do ducks fly south?

Because it's too far to walk!
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What's the difference between an accountant and a lawyer?

Accountants know they're boring.
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What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?

Wet feet.
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Why did the melon jump into the lake?

It wanted to be a watermelon.
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Why did the man take a pencil to bed?

Because he wanted to draw the curtains!
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What has four legs and goes "Oom, Oom"?

A cow walking backwards
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What do you call a boomerang that won't come back?

A stick.
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