Why can't you say a joke while standing on ice?

Because it might crack up!
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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.
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Why was the woman fired from the car assembly line?

She was caught taking a brake.
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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How many college girls does it take to change a light bulb?

That's "women," you unfunny jerk!
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What are the 10 letters of the pirate alphabet?

Aye, Aye, Arr and the Seven C's
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Where do cars go for a swim?

At the carpool!
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If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why don't you swerve to hit him?

It might be your bicycle.
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I tried water polo but my horse drowned.
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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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