Why can't you say a joke while standing on ice?

Because it might crack up!
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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What's the difference between a snow man and a snow woman?

Snow balls!
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How many economists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to assume the ladder and one to change the bulb.

A': None. If the government would just leave it alone, it would screw itself in.
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Why do they bury lawyers under 20 feet of dirt?

Because deep down, they're really good people.
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A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar.

The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"
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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?

OH SNaP!
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How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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