Why can't you say a joke while standing on ice?

Because it might crack up!

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What do you call a slow skier?

A slopepoke!
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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess

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How many singers from Nashville does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change it, one to sing about how heartbroken he is at the loss of the old one, one to sing about how madly in love he is with the new one, and one to go "Yee-Hah!" and throw his cowboy hat in the air.

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A pair of eyebrows walked into a shop. The assistant asked, "Can I help you?"

The eyebrows replied, "no, we are just browsing"
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How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.

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How many referral agents does it take to change a light bulb?

Two: One to screw you out of a fee, and the other to send you to a store where they ran out of bulbs weeks ago.

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What music does cheese listen to?

R & Brie.
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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What do Michael Jackson and Malt Whiskey have in common?

They both come in tots.
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