Why can't you say a joke while standing on ice?

Because it might crack up!
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What does new age music sound like played backwards?

New age music.

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Who makes dinosaur clothes?

A dino-sewer.
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What is a tornado's favorite game?

Twister!
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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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How many Mensans does it take to tell Mensa light bulb jokes?

Five. One to tell the joke and one to get it.
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How many (Generals/Politicians) does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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What can you put in a barrel to make it lighter?

Holes.
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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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Why are Muslims worried about Trumps immigration plans?

Once you deport Juan you deport Jamal.
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