Why can't you say a joke while standing on ice?

Because it might crack up!
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Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?

It needed to be trimmed.
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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How do dinosaurs pay their bills?

With Tyrannosaurus checks.
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What has a head but no body?

A nail.
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There was an explosion at a cheese factory in France...

all that was left was de brie.
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Why did they kick cinderella off the baseball team?

She kept running away from the ball.
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Why did Venus have to get an air conditioner?

Because Mercury moved in.
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Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?

He got Avogadro's number!
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Where do all the letters sleep?

In the alphabed.
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