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Why can't you say a joke while standing on ice?
Because it might crack up!
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How many times does Bill Clinton change a light bulb?
No one knows. Republicans automatically disbelieve him, and no one can ever trust a stinking liberal anyway.
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How many bass clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?
All of them
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Trump: "Foreign Policy?,
if you mess with the United States, there will be hell toupee."
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what do you call a tick on the moon?
A luna-tick
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If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?
H2O cubed.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?
He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
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What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?
Glass flippers.
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I tried nutella on some salmon
got salmonella.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline?
You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline.
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