Why can't you say a joke while standing on ice?

Because it might crack up!
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How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They have machines to do that now.
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What did one egg say to the other egg?

Let's get crackin'!
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What is a cat's favorite breakfast?

Mice krispies
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How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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What did the octopus say to his girlfriend when he proposed?

Can I have your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage?
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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How many chiropractors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but it takes six visits.
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How many French Horn players does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he/she will spend hours checking for technical problems.
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How many lesbians does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: One to screw it in, and two to talk about how much better it is than with a man.
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