Why can't you say a joke while standing on ice?

Because it might crack up!
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Why do you think Civil Disobedience was such a fantastic essay?

Thoreau editing Thorough.
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish
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What's the difference between Donald Trump and Ronald Reagan?

If Trump gets Alzheimers his IQ will go up.
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Where does a ten ton elephant sit?

Anywhere it wants to
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What did one titration say to the other?

"Let's meet at the endpoint."
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What's the difference between a female lawyer and a pitbull?

Lipstick.
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Why did the turtle cross the road?

To get to the shell station.
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