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Why can't you say a joke while standing on ice?
Because it might crack up!
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Why didn't the rooster cross the road?
Because it was chicken.
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Whats the difference between a cat and a compound sentence?
One has claws at the end of its paws and one has a pause at the end of its clause
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I’ve never gone to a gun range before.
I decided to give it a shot!
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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?
She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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How many chiropractors does it take to change a light bulb?
Only one, but it takes six visits.
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Why is slippery ice like music?
If you don't C sharp - you'll B flat!
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If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?
H2O cubed.
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Why can't Donald Trump be a Lannister?
Because he never pays his debts.
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What is Donald Trump telling all his supporters?
Orange Is The New Black.
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