Why can't you say a joke while standing on ice?

Because it might crack up!
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If a long dress is evening wear, what is a suit of armor?

Silverware.
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Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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Two aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married.

The ceremony was rubbish - but the reception was brilliant.

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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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How many Bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb??

What's a light bulb?
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How is Donald Trump going to create middle class jobs?

By paying them to cheer for him during campaign events.
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Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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