Why can't you say a joke while standing on ice?

Because it might crack up!
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What do you call a loony spaceman?

An astronut.
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What do you get when you cross a Christmas tree with an apple?

A pineapple!
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How many subscribers to AOL does it take to change a light bulb?

What? You can change light bulbs?
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What is the strongest animal?

A snail because it carries it's home.
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Why is a skeleton so mean?

He doesn't have a heart.
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How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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Have you heard the joke about the butter?

I better not tell you, it might spread.
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Went to the corner shop -

bought 4 corners.

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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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