Why can't you say a joke while standing on ice?

Because it might crack up!
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I think I want a job cleaning mirrors.


It's something I could really see myself doing.
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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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Where do mice park their boats?

At the hickory dickory dock.
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What bone will a dog never eat?

A trombone.
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What is the easiest way to count a herd of cattle?

With a cowculator.
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Why shouldn't Donald Trump rag on illegal immigrants?

Because an undocumented worker has been living on his head for the past 2 decades!
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How many agnostics does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Agnostics question whether electricity really exists.
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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How can you tell when a lawyer is lying?

Their lips are moving.
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