Why can't you say a joke while standing on ice?

Because it might crack up!
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What do you call a sleeping bull?

A bulldozer
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What is the difference between a lawyer and a rooster?

When a rooster wakes up in the morning, its primal urge is to cluck defiance.
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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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What do you get if you cross a cat with a dark horse?

Kitty Perry

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Why did the spy stay in bed?

Because he was under cover.
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How many members of the United Church of Canada does it take to change a light bulb?

How dare you be so intolerant! So what if the light bulb has chosen an alternative light-style?
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When are kids most likely to go to school?

When the door is open.
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Why don't they know where Mozart is buried?

Because he's Haydn.

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