Why can't you say a joke while standing on ice?

Because it might crack up!
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What did the drummer get on his I.Q. Test?

Saliva
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What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?

CSI
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What did rural America tell Donald Trump?

You're Hired.
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Who earns a living by driving his customers away?

A taxi driver.
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What is green and pecks on trees?

Woody the Wood Pickle.
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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That girl said she knew me from the vegitarian club,

but I'd never seen herbivore [her before]
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What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?

Wet feet.
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How do we know the Indians were the first people in North America?

They had reservations.
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