Why can't you say a joke while standing on ice?

Because it might crack up!
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What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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There's a fine line between a numerator and denominator.

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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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Anyone know any jokes about sodium?

Na
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I said to this train driver "I want to go to Paris". He said "Eurostar?"

I said, "I've been on telly but I'm no Dean Martin".
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Did you hear about Michael Jackson's latest record?

"Feel the World."
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Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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How many dadaists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

To get to the other side.
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