Why can't you say a joke while standing on ice?

Because it might crack up!
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What do ghosts eat for supper?

Spooketi
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What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.
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How many big black monoliths does it take to change a light bulb?

Sorry, light bulbs are an evolutionary dead end.
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Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK.
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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Whats Donald Trump's favorite nation?

Discrimination.
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What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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What did one magnet say to the other?

I find you very attractive.
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