Why can't you say a joke while standing on ice?

Because it might crack up!
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Where do you go to find a million story building?

You go to the Library!
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How many magicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends on what you want to change it into.
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What's the difference between an accountant and a lawyer?

Accountants know they're boring.
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Why did the Blonde stare at the Orange Juice carton?

Because it said CONCENTRATE.
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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.
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Why did New Jersey get all the toxic waste and California all the lawyers?

New Jersey got to pick first.
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Why did the cow go to outer space?

To visit the milky way.
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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.
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