Why can't you say a joke while standing on ice?

Because it might crack up!
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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How many efficiency experts does it take to replace a light bulb?

None. Efficiency experts replace only dark bulbs.
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Why did the tomato blush?

Because he saw the salad dressing!
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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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Why does a giraffe have such a long neck?

Because his feet stink
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How many nuclear engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to install the new bulb and six to figure out what to do with the old one for the next 10,000 years.
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