Why can't you say a joke while standing on ice?

Because it might crack up!
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What do moms dress up as on Halloween?

Mummies!
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How do you know an elephant has been in your refrigerator?

There are footprints in the butter.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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How does a bird with a broken wing manage to land safely?

With its sparrowchute.
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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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