Why can't you say a joke while standing on ice?

Because it might crack up!
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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish
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What do Santa's elves drink?

Minnesoda.
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There were two cows in a paddock. One of the cows says, "moo"

and the other one says, "That's what I was going to say."
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What kind of phones do people in jail use?

Cell phones
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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Where does a ten ton elephant sit?

Anywhere it wants to
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How many Union Lighting Technicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It's not a bulb, it's a globe.
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What does a skeleton say before dinner?

Bone appetit!
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What's brown and looks really good on a lawyer?

A Doberman.
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