Why can't you say a joke while standing on ice?

Because it might crack up!
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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What's the difference between a mosquito and a lawyer?

One is a blood-sucking parasite, the other is an insect.
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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Where do cars go for a swim?

At the carpool!
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Why was the mouse afraid of the water?

Catfish
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How many bureaucrats does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to assure the everything possible is being done while the other screws the bulb into the water faucet.
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What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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What do you call a mad elephant?

An earthquake.
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