Why can't you say a joke while standing on ice?

Because it might crack up!
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What do you get when you cross a roll of wool and a kangaroo?

A woolen jumper
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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What is a ghost's favorite fruit?

Booberries!
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How can you tell that a train just went by?

It left its tracks.
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What is a frog's favorite year?

Leap Year
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Why did God invent lawyers?

So that real estate agents would have someone to look down on.
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How many running-dog lackeys of the bourgeoisie does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to exploit the proletariat, and one to control the means of production!
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Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs
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