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Why can't you say a joke while standing on ice?
Because it might crack up!
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What pine has the longest needles?
A porcupine.
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What is a tree's favorite drink?
Root beer.
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Why don't aliens celebrate Chistmas?
Because they don't want to give away their presence.
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What did the ghost say to the other ghost?
Do you believe in humans?
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What has one horn and gives milk?
A milk truck.
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Can you say Richard and Robert had a rabbit without using the "r" sound?
Sure, Dick and Bob had a bunny!
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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?
C over lambda.
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How many investment brokers does it take to change a light bulb?
Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes.
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What did the drummer get on his I.Q. Test?
Saliva
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