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Why can't you say a joke while standing on ice?
Because it might crack up!
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What do you call two banana peels?
Slippers.
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Why can't lawyers do NMR?
Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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What is black ,white and red all over?
A sunburnt penguin
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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?
Meat and Democrats!
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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?
The Presidential Seal.
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What do you get when you cross a Cocker Spaniel,
a Poodle and a ghost?
A cocker poodle boo.
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Who earns a living by driving his customers away?
A taxi driver.
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How many sheep do you need to make a sweater?
I don't know. I didn't think sheep could knit
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How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.
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