Why can't you say a joke while standing on ice?

Because it might crack up!
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What is a tree's favorite drink?

Root beer.
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Two girls were born on the same day, same year, same parents, except they are not twins. Explain:

They are triplets.
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My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well,

I was amazed, I never knew they worked.

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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.
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What did the light bulb say to its mother?

I wuv you watts and watts.
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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What's the first thing a musician says at work?

"Would you like fries with that?"

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What's round and bad-tempered?

A vicious circle.
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