Why can't you say a joke while standing on ice?

Because it might crack up!
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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Who says sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me?

A guy who has never been hit with a dictionary.
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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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What do you call a dinosaur that smashes everything in its path?

Tyrannosaurus wrecks.
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How many astronomers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Astronomers prefer the dark.
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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Well, first let's talk about the concept behind this whole "light bulb" thing.
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What is the strongest animal?

A snail because it carries it's home.
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How many chiropractors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but it takes six visits.
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