Why can't you say a joke while standing on ice?

Because it might crack up!
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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What's the difference between a piano and a tuna?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna

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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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Why do ghosts make good cheerleaders?

Because they have a lot of spirit.
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What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis
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A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off.

"because," he said "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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Did you hear about Michael Jackson's latest record?

"Feel the World."
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Why was 6 afraid of 7?

Because 7 ate 9.
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