Why can't you say a joke while standing on ice?

Because it might crack up!
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What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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What's the definition of perfect pitch?

When you toss a banjo in the garbage and it hits an accordion.

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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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What do birds say on Halloween?

Twick o tweet
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What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?

A chili dog on a bun.
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What did the judge say to the dentist?

Do you swear to pull the tooth, the whole tooth and nothing but the tooth?
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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Where do you learn to make banana splits?

In sundae school.
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