Why can't you say a joke while standing on ice?

Because it might crack up!
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How many brewers does it take to change a light bulb?

About one third less than for a regular bulb.
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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What do ghosts use to wash their hair?

Shamboo!
Frankenstein: Witch can you make me a lemonade?
Witch: Poof you are a lemonade!
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

He got caught peeping on a test.
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What do you call a dinosaur that smashes everything in its path?

Tyrannosaurus wrecks.
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Why do pandas like old movies?

Because they are black and white.
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