Why can't you say a joke while standing on ice?

Because it might crack up!
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How many fundamentalists does it take to change a light bulb?

None; the Bible doesn't mention any light bulbs.
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What would happen if pigs could fly?

The price of bacon would go up.
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I went to the Doctors the other day, and he said, 'Go to Bournemouth, it's great for flu'.

So I went - and I got it.
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What is Donald Trump telling all his supporters?


Orange Is The New Black.
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Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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What did the momma buffalo say to her son before he went to school?

Bison
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A sandwich walks into a bar.

The barman says "Sorry we don't serve food in here"

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Why do pandas like old movies?

Because they are black and white.
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