Why can't you say a joke while standing on ice?

Because it might crack up!
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline?

You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline.
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What do you get if you cross an insect with the Easter rabbit?

Bugs Bunny.
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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What did the painter say to the wall?

I got you covered.
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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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Does it take longer to run from 1st base to 2nd, or from 2nd to 3rd?

From 2nd to 3rd because there's a shortstop in the middle.
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What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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