Why can't you say a joke while standing on ice?

Because it might crack up!
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How many times does Bill Clinton change a light bulb?

No one knows. Republicans automatically disbelieve him, and no one can ever trust a stinking liberal anyway.
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How many bass clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?

All of them
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Trump: "Foreign Policy?,

if you mess with the United States, there will be hell toupee."

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what do you call a tick on the moon?

A luna-tick
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If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?

H2O cubed.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
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What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline?

You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline.
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