Why can't you say a joke while standing on ice?

Because it might crack up!
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Why was the math book sad?

It had too many problems.
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What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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What do you call a cow in a tornado?

A milkshake
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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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What do moms dress up as on Halloween?

Mummies!
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What do you call two banana peels?

Slippers.
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Why are there fences around a graveyard?

Because people are dying to get in!
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