Why can't you say a joke while standing on ice?

Because it might crack up!
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How many accountants does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What kind of answer did you have in mind?
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What kind of fly has a frog in its throat?

A hoarse fly!
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What starts with E, ends with E and only has one letter?

An envelope.
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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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Why did the lamb cross the road?

To get to the baaaaarber shop
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Why did the skeleton cross the road?

To get to the body shop.
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How many data base people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three:

One to write the light bulb removal program,
one to write the light bulb insertion program, and

one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
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What happened when the lion ate the comedian?

He felt funny.
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Why can't a bicycle stand up?

Because it's two tired!
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