Why can't you say a joke while standing on ice?

Because it might crack up!
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What do you call a cow with three legs?

Lean beef.
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What's black and white, black and white, black and white and green?

Three skunks fighting over a pickle

First dog: My master calls me Furball. How about you?
Second Dog: My master calls me Sitboy
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What did the peanut say to the walnut?

Nothing. Nuts can't talk.
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There's two fish in a tank, and one says "How do you drive this thing?"
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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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What two things can you not have for breakfast?

Lunch and dinner.
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How many Californians does it take to change a light bulb?

Six. One to turn the bulb, one for support, and four to relate to the experience.
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What happened when 500 hares got loose on Main Street?

The police had to comb the area.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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