Why can't you say a joke while standing on ice?

Because it might crack up!
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What do you call 5000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?

A good start!
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How many punk rockers does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and seventeen on the guest list.
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What does a witch use to keep her hair up?

Scarespray!
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Customer: "Do you have alligator shoes?"

Clerk: "Yes, sir. What size does your alligator wear?"
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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Can you use pink,yellow and green in a sentence?

. The phone went green green, and I pinked it up and said yellow.
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Why was the piano player arrested?

Because he got into treble with the cops

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Why were the teacher's eyes crossed?

She couldn't control her pupils.
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What do you call the king of vegetables?

Elvis Parsley.
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