Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?

It was two tired.
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How do you fix a broken brass instrument?

With a Tuba glue.

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What do you do with a dead chemist?

Barium
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What kind of math do Snowy Owls like?

Owlgebra
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What did the momma buffalo say to her son before he went to school?

Bison
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How many 2nd AD's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Uh...standby, I'll check on that.
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What do you call a belt made out of watches?

A waist of time!
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How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.
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How are elephants and trees alike?

They both have trunks
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