Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?

It was two tired.
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What does a calf become after it's 1 year old?

2 years old.

Cow: "Mooooove over"
Sheep: "Naaaaaaa."
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How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've been framed.
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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How do you catch a unique bird?

Unique up on it.
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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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