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Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?
It was two tired.
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Why did Mozart kill his chickens?
Because they always ran around going "Bach! Bach! Bach!"
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Why did the poultry farmer become a school teacher?
So he could grade his eggs.
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How many existentialists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Two: One to screw it in and one to observe how the light bulb itself symbolizes a single incandescent beacon of subjective reality in a netherworld of endless absurdity reaching out toward a maudlin cosmos of nothingness.
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Humpty Trumpty wants a great wall.
Humpty Trumpty wants Mexico to pay for it all.
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How do you cut a wave in half?
Use a sea saw.
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What do you call a bruise on a T-Rex?
A dino-sore
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Why did the chicken cross the playground?
To get to the other slide!
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There were two cows in a paddock. One of the cows says, "moo"
and the other one says, "That's what I was going to say."
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