Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?

It was two tired.
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What's black and white, black and white, black and white and green?

Three skunks fighting over a pickle

First dog: My master calls me Furball. How about you?
Second Dog: My master calls me Sitboy
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Why did the elephant leave the circus?

He was tired of working for peanuts.
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How many brewers does it take to change a light bulb?

About one third less than for a regular bulb.
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"I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it,

it was a shitzu."
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How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
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And how come her cell phone bill was so high?

She was a Roman (roamin) Catholic
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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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What kind of fly has a frog in its throat?

A hoarse fly!
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