Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?

It was two tired.
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo?

Big holes all over Australia!
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How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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How many U.S. Marines does it take to change a light bulb?

Fifty — one to screw in the bulb and 49 to guard him/her.
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Now that Macy's has severed ties, with Donald Trump, how can the average American look like the President?

By hunting and killing their own hair piece.
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What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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What has 4 wheels, gives milk, and eats grass.

A cow on a skateboard.
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