Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?

It was two tired.
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If you drop a white hat into the Red Sea, what does it become?

Wet.
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How many Anglicans does it take to change a lightbulb?

A whole synod. One to move that the bulb be changed while the others debate until the room spins.
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How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've been framed!
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Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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Whats the difference between a cat and a compound sentence?

One has claws at the end of its paws and one has a pause at the end of its clause
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When are kids most likely to go to school?

When the door is open.
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What did the number 0 say to number 8?

Nice belt!
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