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Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?
It was two tired.
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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?
A swordfish
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What happens when you play "the blues" backwards?
Your wife comes back to you, your dog returns to life and you get out of prison.
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What's black and white and red all over?
A newspaper!
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Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?
He got Avogadro's number!
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What did the alien say to the garden?
Take me to your weeder!
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What kind of ties can't you wear?
Railroad ties.
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How do you know Donald Trump is talking to you?
Cause your the only one Hair.
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How many bass clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?
All of them
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