Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?

It was two tired.
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What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?

Its shadow

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Where do you learn to make banana splits?

In sundae school.
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How do you make a fire with two sticks?

Make sure one is a match!

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What letter can you drink?

T (tea)

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What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.

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How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.

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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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