Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?

It was two tired.
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What do you call a bankrupt Santa?

Saint Nickel-less.
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When Susan's boyfriend proposed marriage to her she said: "I love the simple things in life,

but I don't want one of them for my husband".

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Why doesn't Donald Trump sweat like Marco Rubio?

Because he has such yuuuuge fans!
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What do you call a public servant who doesn't take crap from Republicans or Democrats?

Donald Trump.
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Where do orcas hear music?

Orca-stras
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Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.
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How many dull people does it take to change a light bulb?

One.
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Why can't you compare Donald Trump to cancer?

Because sometimes you can get rid of cancer.
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