Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?

It was two tired.
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Why did Mozart kill his chickens?

Because they always ran around going "Bach! Bach! Bach!"

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Why did the poultry farmer become a school teacher?

So he could grade his eggs.
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How many existentialists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to screw it in and one to observe how the light bulb itself symbolizes a single incandescent beacon of subjective reality in a netherworld of endless absurdity reaching out toward a maudlin cosmos of nothingness.
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Humpty Trumpty wants a great wall.

Humpty Trumpty wants Mexico to pay for it all.
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How do you cut a wave in half?

Use a sea saw.
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What do you call a bruise on a T-Rex?

A dino-sore
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Why did the chicken cross the playground?

To get to the other slide!
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There were two cows in a paddock. One of the cows says, "moo"

and the other one says, "That's what I was going to say."
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