Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?

It was two tired.
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Why did the oreo go to the dentist?

To get his filling!
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A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off.

"because," he said "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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Why was the mouse afraid of the water?

Catfish
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Why are pirates great singers?

They can hit the high C's!

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Humpty Trumpty wants a great wall.

Humpty Trumpty wants Mexico to pay for it all.
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How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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