Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?

It was two tired.
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What did the banana do when the monkey chased it?

The banana split
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What did the alien say to the garden?

Take me to your weeder!
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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How many engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

First they have to agree on which is better; the analog bulb or a digital bulb.
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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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What happened when the butcher backed up into his meat grinder?

he got a little behind in his work.
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Where does Dorian Gray shop?

Forever 21
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Why does the law society prohibit sex between lawyers and their clients?

To prevent clients from being billed twice for essentially the same service.
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