Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?

It was two tired.
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What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?

There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
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What is a cat's favorite breakfast?

Mice krispies
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What is an astronauts favorite key on the keyboard?

The space bar!
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.
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What kind of jam can you not eat?

A traffic jam.
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What does a calf become after it's 1 year old?

2 years old.

Cow: "Mooooove over"
Sheep: "Naaaaaaa."
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How many Yuppies (WASPs) does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call the electrician, and one to mix the drinks.
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