Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?

It was two tired.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and God?

God doesn't think he's a lawyer.
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What's 182 feet tall and made out of pepperoni and cheese?

The leaning tower of Pizza.
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Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon?

Great food, no atmosphere.
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Why did the drum take a nap?

It was beat.
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How does a bird with a broken wing manage to land safely?

With its sparrowchute.
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Why is a skeleton so mean?

He doesn't have a heart.
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Where did the music teacher leave her keys?

In the piano!

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Why are babies good at soccer?

Because they dribble!
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