Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?

It was two tired.
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to take notes while the other screws it into the faucet.
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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What is a frog's favorite year?

Leap Year
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What did the Donald tell an illegal immigrant who was trying to put out a fire at Trump Tower?

No way Hose A.
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How do you fix a broken brass instrument?

With a Tuba glue.

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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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