Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?

It was two tired.
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What is Donald Trump "really" trying to do?

Make America Hate Again.
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What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis
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What has a bed that you can't sleep in?

A river.
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What did the man on the beach say to Michael Jackson?

Get out of my sun!
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What is the best time to go to the dentist?

Tooth-hurty.
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What is the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb?

You can unscrew a light bulb.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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