Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?

It was two tired.
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How many conservatives does it take to change a light bulb?

One; after reflecting in the twilight on the merit of the previous bulb.
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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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What breakfast cereal does Frosty the Snowman eat?

Snowflakes.
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There's a fine line between a numerator and denominator.

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If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they'd be alloys.
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What did the laywer name his daughter?

Sue.
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What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?

Its shadow
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What do you call a beautiful woman on a trombonist's arm?

A tattoo.

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