Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?

It was two tired.
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Why to lawyers wear neckties?

To keep the foreskin from crawling up their chins.
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What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?

A brick layer!
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What do you call a cow in a tornado?

A milkshake
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Which is the most religious cheese?

Emmental...it's very hol(e)y...
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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Why did the cow go to outer space?

To visit the milky way.
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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?

He didn't have any guts!
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What do you call a fish without an eye?

Fsh
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