Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?

It was two tired.
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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What has ears like a cat and a tail like a cat, but is not a cat?

A kitten.

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Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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Where do cars go for a swim?

At the carpool!
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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The other day I sent my girlfriend a huge pile of snow.

I rang her up, I said "Did you get my drift?".

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What is the difference between a clarinet and an onion?

Nobody cries when you chop an clarinet into little pieces

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Have you heard the joke about the butter?

I better not tell you, it might spread.
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