Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?

It was two tired.
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What do you do when your chair breaks?

Call a chairman.
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What goes 99 thump,99 thump,99 thump?

A centipede with a wooden leg.
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Why are the middle ages sometimes called the Dark Ages?

Because they had so many knights.
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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What do you get when you cross a witch with sand?

A sandwich!
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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish
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There are 10 kinds of people in the world.

Those who read binary and those who don't.
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