Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?

It was two tired.
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Why can't a bicycle stand up?

Because it's two tired!
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Why did the gardener plant his money?

He wanted his soil to be rich!
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What do you call a pig who knows karate?

Porkchop
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What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?

Wet feet.
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What runs around a yard without moving?

A fence.
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What did the banana do when the monkey chased it?

The banana split
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What do you call a fake noodle?

An impasta
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How many times does Bill Clinton change a light bulb?

No one knows. Republicans automatically disbelieve him, and no one can ever trust a stinking liberal anyway.
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