Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?

It was two tired.
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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish
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What happens when you play "the blues" backwards?

Your wife comes back to you, your dog returns to life and you get out of prison.

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What's black and white and red all over?

A newspaper!
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Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?

He got Avogadro's number!
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What did the alien say to the garden?

Take me to your weeder!
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What kind of ties can't you wear?

Railroad ties.
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How do you know Donald Trump is talking to you?

Cause your the only one Hair.
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How many bass clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?

All of them
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