Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?

It was two tired.
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What do you call a girl with a frog on her head?

Lilly.
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What's the difference between a vacuum cleaner and a lawyer on a motorcycle?

The vacuum cleaner has the dirt bag on the inside.
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I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah;

I thought, "He's trying to pull a fast one".

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What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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What room does a ghost not need?

A living room!
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What did the drummer get on his I.Q. Test?

Saliva
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Who can hold up a bus with one hand?

A crossing guard.
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