Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?

It was two tired.
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How many UFO buffs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. You don't believe me do you? I've got photos! See that big blob? Well, just squint your eyes a bit. . . .
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Why doesn't Melania Trump want to be the first lady?

Because she would have to move into a smaller house.
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How many teamsters does it take to change a light bulb?

``Twelve. Ya got a problem with that?''
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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What is a cat's favorite movie?

The sound of Mew-sic
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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo?

Big holes all over Australia!
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How many members of the United Church of Canada does it take to change a light bulb?

How dare you be so intolerant! So what if the light bulb has chosen an alternative light-style?
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