Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?

It was two tired.
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How many APL hackers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There's a primitive for that.
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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite

He said NaBrO
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Where did the sheep go on vacation?

The baaaahamas
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What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?

Its shadow
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How many fatalists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What does it matter? we're all gonna die anyway.
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What's brown and looks really good on a lawyer?

A Doberman.
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How many WASPs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Silly, WASPs don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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