Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?

It was two tired.
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Why are the floors of basketball courts always so damp?

The players dribble a lot.
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How many TV comedians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to say "Sock it to Me." (Notes: Sock it = Socket. Also, for the infant readers among you, this was a popular catch-phrase from "Laugh In.")
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What is a cat's favorite movie?

The sound of Mew-sic
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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.
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What room does a ghost not need?

A living room!
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How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They have machines to do that now.
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How many plastic surgeons does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he'll also want to do something about your nose.
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What kind of ties can't you wear?

Railroad ties.
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