Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?

It was two tired.
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How Many lead guitarist does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just steal somebody else's light.
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Who earns a living by driving his customers away?

A taxi driver.
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What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?

A spelling bee!
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Why is b always cool?

Because it's between ac.
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Where does the snowman hide his money?

In the snow bank.
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How do you stop a dog barking in the back seat of a car?

Put him in the front seat.
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H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?

Drinking.
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What do you call a parrot that flew away?

A polygon
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