Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?

It was two tired.
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If you drop a white hat into the Red Sea, what does it become?

Wet.
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What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer?

An offer you can't understand
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What happened when the monster ate the electric company?

He was in shock for a week.
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What did the laywer name his daughter?

Sue.
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How many Wardrobe people does it take to screw in a light bulb?

"Nobody said I needed doubles on that!"
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Two girls were born on the same day, same year, same parents, except they are not twins. Explain:

They are triplets.
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How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
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Trump: "Foreign Policy?,

if you mess with the United States, there will be hell toupee."

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