Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?

It was two tired.
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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What time is it when an elephant sits on your bed?

Time to get a new bed
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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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Why don't they know where Mozart is buried?

Because he's Haydn.

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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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Why was the baseball player arrested in the middle of the game?

He was caught stealing second base.
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What do you call a king who is only 12 inches tall?

A ruler.
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Where does the snowman hide his money?

In the snow bank.
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