Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?

It was two tired.
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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How do they serve smart hamburgers?

On honor rolls.
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What's the one thing that never works when it's fixed?

A jury.
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Why did the bird get a ticket?

It broke the law of gravity!
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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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What kind of fly has a frog in its throat?

A hoarse fly!
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What's the difference between Donald Trump and Ronald Reagan?

If Trump gets Alzheimers his IQ will go up.
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How many Christians does it take to change a light bulb?

Three, but they're really only one.
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