Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?

It was two tired.
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What did the drummer get on his I.Q. Test?

Saliva
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What did the necktie say to the hat?

You go on ahead. I'll hang around for a while.
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How many militarists does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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What happened when the lion ate the comedian?

He felt funny.
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How many Sound Recordists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

WHAT?
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Why did the chicken cross the road, roll in mud, then cross the road again?

He was a dirty double crosser!
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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