Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?

It was two tired.
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Where does a polarbear keep its money?

In a snow bank!
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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How do you catch a squirrel?

Climb up a tree and act like a nut
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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What does the winner of the race lose?

His breath.
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Why did the cow go in the spaceship?

It wanted to see the mooooooon!
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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