Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?

It was two tired.
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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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How many Iraqis does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It doesn't matter, they don't have any electricity any more.
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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."

The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."
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How many fire safety guys dose it take to screw in a light bulb?

One -- but it's an 8 hour minimum.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.
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What is the strongest animal?

A snail because it carries it's home.
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