Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?

It was two tired.
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What has four legs, a trunk, and sunglasses?

A mouse on vacation.
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What do you call a mad elephant?

An earthquake.
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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What do you call cheese that isn't yours?

Nacho cheese.
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How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.
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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck
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How many tenors does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change the bulb and three to whine "It's too high"
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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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