Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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Why do some people have an instant aversion to banjo players?

It saves time in the long run.

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I said to this train driver "I want to go to Paris". He said "Eurostar?"

I said, "I've been on telly but I'm no Dean Martin".
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What is the opposite of a restaurant?

A workaraunt.
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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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What's the first thing a musician says at work?

"Would you like fries with that?"

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What do you call a king who is only 12 inches tall?

A ruler.
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Where do orcas hear music?

Orca-stras
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