Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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What do you call a song sung in an automobile?

A cartoon.
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Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.
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Why did the girl throw the butter out the window?

She wanted to see a butterfly.
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How do you tell you're kissing a french horn player?

He/She keeps trying to stick their fist up your butt.

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What happened when 500 hares got loose on Main Street?

The police had to comb the area.
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Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?

Just in case he got a hole in one!
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What did the snail say when he got on the turtle's shell?

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
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Why don't mountains get cold in the winter?

They wear snowcaps.
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