Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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Why was the vacationing doctor so mad?

He had no patients.
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How many lawyer jokes are there?

Only three. The rest are true stories.
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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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What's the difference between an accountant and a lawyer?

Accountants know they're boring.
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How many bureaucrats does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to assure the everything possible is being done while the other screws the bulb into the water faucet.
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Why is the French horn the most divine instrument?

Man blows into it, but God only knows what comes out

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What did the ghost say to the other ghost?

Do you believe in humans?
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A pair of eyebrows walked into a shop. The assistant asked, "Can I help you?"

The eyebrows replied, "no, we are just browsing"
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