Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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Why are elephants wrinkled?

Because they don't fit on a ironing board
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What do you call a smiling, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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How many freelance biotechnologists does it take to change a light bulb?

One; she designs the bulb to crawl up the wall, unscrew the old one, and screw itself in.
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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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Why did the poultry farmer become a school teacher?

So he could grade his eggs.
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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How many fundamentalists does it take to change a light bulb?

None; the Bible doesn't mention any light bulbs.
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How many Cabbage Patch dolls does it take to change a light bulb?

The question is irrelevant, since you couldn't find the dolls even if you knew how many. (Note: Well, this was a good joke in 1983-84. . . .)
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