Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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How do you wake up Lady Gaga?

You Poke her face.

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How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one more, guys, I promise.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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What do you call a pig that's been arrested for dangerous driving?

A road hog.
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How many sheep do you need to make a sweater?

I don't know. I didn't think sheep could knit
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There's two fish in a tank, and one says "How do you drive this thing?"
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