Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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Who can hold up a bus with one hand?

A crossing guard.
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What is a tree's favorite drink?

Root beer.
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What kind of table has no legs.

A multiplication table.
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What is the best time to go to the dentist?

Tooth-hurty.
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What do you call a Disney Princess that supports Donald Trump?

Snow White Supremacist.
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How many Bell Labs vice presidents does it take to change a light bulb?

That's proprietary information. The answer is available from AT&T on payment of license fee (binary only).
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What do frogs order when they go to a restaurant?

French Flies.
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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