Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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Why did Mozart kill his chickens?

Because they always ran around going "Bach! Bach! Bach!"

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Where did the farmer take the pigs on Saturday afternoon?

He took them to a pignic.
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Where did the sheep go on vacation?

The baaaahamas
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Why did the girl throw the butter out the window?

She wanted to see a butterfly.
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Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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What did the frog say when he heard "time flies when you are having fun?"

Time is fun when you're having flies
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What is the world's longest punctuation mark?

The hundred yard dash.
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