Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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What happens when you play "the blues" backwards?

Your wife comes back to you, your dog returns to life and you get out of prison.

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What did Michael Jackson tell the little boy?

"The way you make me feel, it really turns me on!"
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How many Agents does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Actually, agents will screw in just about anything.
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What is the opposite of a restaurant?

A workaraunt.
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What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?

A chili dog on a bun.
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When are kids most likely to go to school?

When the door is open.
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What is the difference between a clarinet and an onion?

Nobody cries when you chop an clarinet into little pieces

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