Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've been framed.
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What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.
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What are pirate's favoite treat?

Chips AHOY!!
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What is the chemical formula for "coffee"?

CoFe2
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I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite

He said NaBrO
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What two things can you not have for breakfast?

Lunch and dinner.
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How many Anglicans does it take to change a lightbulb?

A whole synod. One to move that the bulb be changed while the others debate until the room spins.
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Have you seen the new HGTV show about the Whitehouse makeover?

It's called "Trump It or Dump It".
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