Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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What do frogs order when they go to a restaurant?

French Flies.
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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Why did Mickey Mouse go to outer space?

He was looking for Pluto.
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What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.
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Why are there fences around a graveyard?

Because people are dying to get in!
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