Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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Why are babies good at soccer?

Because they dribble!
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What do you call a bruise on a T-Rex?

A dino-sore
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What do you call a bankrupt Santa?

Saint Nickel-less.
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How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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What do Santa's elves drink?

Minnesoda.
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What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?

One molar solution.
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