Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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Where do you get whales weighed?

At the Whale-weigh station.
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How many bass clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?

All of them
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What did one owl say to the other owl?

Happy Owl-ween!
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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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How many Bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb??

What's a light bulb?
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How many IBM engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just let Marketing explain that "Dead Bulb" is a feature.
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What does GOP stand for?

Grabs Our Pussy.
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