Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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What do you call an exploding monkey?

A baboom
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Why did the cat go to Minnesota?

To get a mini soda
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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.
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Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.
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What do have when a lawyer is buried up to his neck in sand?

Not enough sand.
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What did the banana do when the monkey chased it?

The banana split
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Trump: "It's not a toupee,

I just found the Bush that Jeb lost."
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What did the frog say when he heard "time flies when you are having fun?"

Time is fun when you're having flies
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