Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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Where does an elephant pack his luggage?

In his trunk
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How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. No, two. No... How many do we have on the truck?
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What do Santa's elves drive?

Minivans.
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Why did a boy thow a clock out the window?

To see time fly.
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What happened when 500 hares got loose on Main Street?

The police had to comb the area.
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What did Michael Jackson say to Woody Allen?

Got two fives for a ten?
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I just watched a program about beavers.

It was the best dam program I've ever seen.
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How many Einsteins does it take to change a light bulb?

That depends on the speed of the change and the mass of the bulb. Or vice versa, of course. It just might be easier to leave the bulb and change the room. It's all relative.
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