Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a gigolo?

A gigolo only screws one person at a time.
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What did the class clown take a computer to school?

Her mom told her to bring in an apple for the teacher.
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I tried water polo but my horse drowned.
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What do you do with a dead chemist?

Barium
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Why did the bird get a ticket?

It broke the law of gravity!
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How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
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What did the number 0 say to number 8?

Nice belt!
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How many referral agents does it take to change a light bulb?

Two: One to screw you out of a fee, and the other to send you to a store where they ran out of bulbs weeks ago.
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