Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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Why did the cookie go to the Doctor?

Because he was feeling crumby.
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What is Donald Trumps favorite song?

ICE ICE Baby......
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How many TV evangelists does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But for the message of light to continue, send in your donation today.
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Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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What do postal workers do when they're mad?

They stamp their feet.
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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Where do you go to find a million story building?

You go to the Library!
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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