Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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What do you call a guy who's born in Columbus, grows up in Cleveland, and then dies in Cincinnati?

Dead.
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What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?

2 Na
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The oddly pleasant feeling of looking down on a physist as they drink the last of their beer.

The strange charm of a top down bottoms up.
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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Why were the teacher's eyes crossed?

She couldn't control her pupils.
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What kind of ties can't you wear?

Railroad ties.
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Why shouldn't Donald Trump rag on illegal immigrants?

Because an undocumented worker has been living on his head for the past 2 decades!
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