Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. No, two. No... How many do we have on the truck?
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What goes under your feet and over your head?

A jump rope.
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Why did the student eat her homework?

Because the teacher said it was a piece of cake!
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Why did Mozart kill his chickens?

Because they always ran around going "Bach! Bach! Bach!"

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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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Clowns divorce:

custardy battle.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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