Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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Why do some people have an instant aversion to banjo players?

It saves time in the long run.

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What do frogs order when they go to a restaurant?

French Flies.
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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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Where do you get whales weighed?

At the Whale-weigh station.
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How many Holocaust revisionists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None: they just deny that the bulb ever went out in the first place.
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What is a lion's favorite state?

Maine
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How many technical writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, provided there is a programmer around to explain how to do it.
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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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