Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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How does the ocean say hello?

It waves.
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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Did you know that oxygen went for a second date with potassium?
How did it go?

It went OK2!
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What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?

A brick layer!
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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What's the only difference between Donald Trump and Bozo the Clown?

Bozo The Clown has real hair on his head.
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What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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