Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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What do postal workers do when they're mad?

They stamp their feet.
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Where did the farmer take the pigs on Saturday afternoon?

He took them to a pignic.
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A seal walks into a club...
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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Why was the mouse afraid of the water?

Catfish
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What starts with E, ends with E and only has one letter?

An envelope.
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What do you call a 400-pound gorilla?

Sir.
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