Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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Why did a boy thow a clock out the window?

To see time fly.
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How do you get a trumpet to sound like a french horn?

Put your hand in the bell and play a lot of wrong notes.

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What bone will a dog never eat?

A trombone.
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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest.. He sent in ten different puns, in the hope that at least one of the puns would win.

Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.
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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs
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How does the ocean say hello?

It waves.
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What can you hold without ever touching it?

A conversation.
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