Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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How does Donald Trump intend to spice up the Republican Convention?

By relocating it to a casino!
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Did you hear about Michael Jackson's latest record?

"Feel the World."
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Why did the bird get a ticket?

It broke the law of gravity!
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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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What do you call a movie about Donald Trump, Bernie Madoff, and Kenneth Lay?

The League of Extraordinary Con Men.
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And the mermaid, that was weird. What was she wearing in math class?

An Algae-bra
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What do you call a thieving alligator?

A crookodile
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If a long dress is evening wear, what is a suit of armor?

Silverware.
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