Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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How many data base people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three:

One to write the light bulb removal program,
one to write the light bulb insertion program, and

one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
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How many sheep do you need to make a sweater?

I don't know. I didn't think sheep could knit
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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How many stock brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes (knowing that it's already burned out).
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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?

H2O cubed.
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How many brewers does it take to change a light bulb?

About one third less than for a regular bulb.
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