Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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How do dinosaurs pay their bills?

With Tyrannosaurus checks.
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What do Santa's elves drive?

Minivans.
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How many Wardrobe people does it take to screw in a light bulb?

"Nobody said I needed doubles on that!"
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Have you seen the new HGTV show about the Whitehouse makeover?

It's called "Trump It or Dump It".
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What do sea monsters eat for lunch?

Fish and ships.
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How many Anglicans does it take to change a lightbulb?

A whole synod. One to move that the bulb be changed while the others debate until the room spins.
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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What do you call a mad elephant?

An earthquake.
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