Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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How is Donald Trump going to shut down the Department of Education?

By renaming it Trump University.
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What do frogs order when they go to a restaurant?

French Flies.
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What do you call a deer that costs a dollar?

A buck.
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How are an apple and a lawyer alike?

They both look good hanging from a tree.
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Why doesn't Melania Trump want to be the first lady?

Because she would have to move into a smaller house.
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How many big black monoliths does it take to change a light bulb?

Sorry, light bulbs are an evolutionary dead end.
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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