Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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What do camels use to hide themselves?

Camelflauge
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What's the best parting gift?

A comb.
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What do you call a movie about Donald Trump, Bernie Madoff, and Kenneth Lay?

The League of Extraordinary Con Men.
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How many bass clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?

All of them
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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck
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How do you get a trombonist off of your porch?

Pay him for the pizza

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What kind of dress can't be worn?

Address.
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What's the definition of perfect pitch?

When you toss a banjo in the garbage and it hits an accordion.

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