Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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Why does everybody like Frosty the Snowman?

Because he is so cool!
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What kind of mouse does not eat, drink, or even walk?

A computer mouse.
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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What do you do when your chair breaks?

Call a chairman.
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How many Anglicans does it take to change a lightbulb?

A whole synod. One to move that the bulb be changed while the others debate until the room spins.
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A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.' The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal.

Her husband responds, "But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."

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What has 6 eyes but can't see?

3 blind mice.
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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