Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer?

An offer you can't understand
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Why is slippery ice like music?

If you don't C sharp - you'll B flat!

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How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.
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"I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it,

it was a shitzu."
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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What is worse then having one baby screaming?

Two babies screaming!
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