Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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What's the difference between a vacuum cleaner and a lawyer on a motorcycle?

The vacuum cleaner has the dirt bag on the inside.
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What clothes does a house wear?

Address.
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What does the winner of the race lose?

His breath.
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Once there was a family called the Biggers. There was Mr. Bigger, Mrs. Bigger, and their son. Who was bigger, Mr. Bigger or his son?

His son, because he's a little Bigger!
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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What is the best thing to do if you find a gorilla in your bed?

Sleep somewhere else.
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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