Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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Kleptomaniacs just don't get puns

they always take things literally.
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Why can't Donald Trump be a Lannister?

Because he never pays his debts.
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What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?

A try and try and try-ceratops
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What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 100?
Your Honor.
What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 50

Senator.
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How many Agents does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Actually, agents will screw in just about anything.
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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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How many investment brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes.
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Who did Frankenstein take to the dance?

His "ghoul" friend!
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