Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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What is the strongest animal?

A snail because it carries it's home.
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Why should you never tell a secret in a corn field?

Because there are too many ears.
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How is Donald Trump going to create middle class jobs?

By paying them to cheer for him during campaign events.
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If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why don't you swerve to hit him?

It might be your bicycle.
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How many editors of Poor Richard's Almanac does it take to replace a light bulb?

Many hands make light work.
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How does a mouse feel after it takes a shower?

Squeaky clean
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Did you know that oxygen went for a second date with potassium?
How did it go?

It went OK2!
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