Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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What do you call a dinosaur that smashes everything in its path?

Tyrannosaurus wrecks.
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What do you call a cow in a tornado?

A milkshake
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Why did the banana go to the hospital?

Because he wasn't peeling well!
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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?

He didn't have any guts!
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Why was the mouse afraid of the water?

Catfish
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How many gorillas does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it sure takes a shitload of light bulbs!
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What do you call snake with no clothes on?

Snaked.
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