Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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Why is Donald Trump always seen with Melania?

Because all his other wives support Hillary.
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What is a baby's motto?

If at first you don't succeed, cry and cry again!
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The oddly pleasant feeling of looking down on a physist as they drink the last of their beer.

The strange charm of a top down bottoms up.
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How many efficiency experts does it take to replace a light bulb?

None. Efficiency experts replace only dark bulbs.
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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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What does an octopus wear when it gets cold?

A coat of arms.
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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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