Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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Why did the tree get a computer?

To log on.
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What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

Frostbite.
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What is a cat's favorite breakfast?

Mice krispies
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What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from?

Separation anxiety.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a gigolo?

A gigolo only screws one person at a time.
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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