Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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How many junkies does it take to change a light bulb?

Oh wow, is it, like, dark, man?
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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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How many Sound Recordists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

WHAT?
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"Dyslexic man walks into a bra"
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What do Donald Trump and a baby have in common?

They both whine alot!
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What do you call a pig that's been arrested for dangerous driving?

A road hog.
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How many database people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: one to write the light bulb removal program, one to write the light bulb insertion program, and one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
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