Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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How many running-dog lackeys of the bourgeoisie does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to exploit the proletariat, and one to control the means of production!
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Why did the tree go to the dentist?

It needed a root canal.
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How many Federal employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Sorry, that item has been cut from the budget!
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What do you get when you cross a Cocker Spaniel,
a Poodle and a ghost?

A cocker poodle boo.
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What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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What does a witch use to keep her hair up?

Scarespray!
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