Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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How do you open the great lakes?

With the Florida Keys.
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What breakfast cereal does Frosty the Snowman eat?

Snowflakes.
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How do dinosaurs pay their bills?

With Tyrannosaurus checks.
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Why were the teacher's eyes crossed?

She couldn't control her pupils.
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What is Claustrophobia?

The fear of Santa Claus.
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What do you call a cow in a tornado?

A milkshake
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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How many militarists does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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