Why did a boy thow a clock out the window?

To see time fly.
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Why don't aliens celebrate Chistmas?

Because they don't want to give away their presence.
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What would you call a humorous knee?

Fun-ny!
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How many database people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: one to write the light bulb removal program, one to write the light bulb insertion program, and one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
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I backed a horse last week at ten to one.

It came in at quarter past four.

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How do locomotives hear?

Through the engineers.
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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How many Christian Scientists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None, but it takes at least one to sit and pray for the old one to go back on.
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Why did the surfer think the sea was his friend?

Because it gave him a big wave!
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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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