Why did a boy thow a clock out the window?

To see time fly.
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When do you go on red and stop on green?

When you are eating a watermelon.
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Why do they bury lawyers under 20 feet of dirt?

Because deep down, they're really good people.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
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What do you do when your chair breaks?

Call a chairman.
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What two things can you not have for breakfast?

Lunch and dinner.
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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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What do you call a clown who's in jail?

A silicon.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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