Why did a boy thow a clock out the window?

To see time fly.
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How do hair stylists speed up their job?

They take short cuts!
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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks.

They charged one - and let the other one off.

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What do you get when you cross a Cocker Spaniel,
a Poodle and a ghost?

A cocker poodle boo.
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"Dyslexic man walks into a bra"
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How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.
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Why did the boy take a ladder to school?

He wanted to go to high school!
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Why did the boy take a ruler to bed?

To see how long he slept.
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