Why did Bach have so many children?

He did not have a stop on his organ.

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What did the little boy's mom say when he asked her to buy him shoes for gym?

"Tell Jim to buy his own shoes".
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How are an apple and a lawyer alike?

They both look good hanging from a tree.
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A mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno, dos..." and then

*poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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What is Donald Trumps campaign slogan?

"A complex world demands complex hair."
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Where do ghosts buy their food?

At the ghost-ery store!
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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Why did the football coach go to the bank?

To get his quarterback.
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Why did the people not like the restaurant on the moon?

Because there was no atmosphere.
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