Why did Bach have so many children?

He did not have a stop on his organ.

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Why was the cat afraid of a tree?

Because of the bark
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Silver walks up to Gold in a bar and says, "AU, get outta here!"
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How many astronomers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Astronomers prefer the dark.
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What do you call the security guards outside of Samsung.

The guardians of the galaxy!
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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Why does Trump love the poorly educated?

Because they only know their ABCs "Anybody But Clinton".
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So I was on a train with Einstein and he turns to me and asks...

Does Boston stop at this train?
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?

It gave a little wine
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