Why did Bach have so many children?

He did not have a stop on his organ.

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What do you call a dinosaur that smashes everything in its path?

Tyrannosaurus wrecks.

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How many Stanford professors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One to write a paper claiming that light is a pig whitey invention, one to organize a Darkness Studies program, and one hundred to protest the Diablo Canyon Nuclear Generating Station.

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What did Cinderella say to the photographer?

Some day my prints will come.
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Why did the rooster cross the road?

To prove he wasn't a chicken!

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Why did Mozart sell his chickens?

Because they kept saying "bach bach"!

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What is the easiest way to count a herd of cattle?

With a cowculator.

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Why do pandas like old movies?

Because they are black and white.

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What kind of eggs does a wicked chicken lay?

Deviled eggs.

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How many (Generals/Politicians) does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.

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