Why did Bach have so many children?

He did not have a stop on his organ.

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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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What's black and white and red all over?

A newspaper!
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How do you cut a wave in half?

Use a sea saw.
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A sandwich walks into a bar.

The barman says "Sorry we don't serve food in here"

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Some people believe that becoming a vegitarian is just a mistake...

A Missed-steak.
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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What does Melania see in Donald Trump?

"Ten billion dollars and high cholesterol!"
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Why can't a bicycle stand up?

Because it's two tired!
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