Why did Bach have so many children?

He did not have a stop on his organ.

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What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?

OH SNaP!
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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Why did the computer squeak?

Someone stepped on its mouse.
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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.' The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal.

Her husband responds, "But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."

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Why do ducks fly south?

Because it's too far to walk!
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What is the most important rule in chemistry?

Never lick the spoon!
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How does a bird with a broken wing manage to land safely?

With its sparrowchute.
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