Why did Bach have so many children?

He did not have a stop on his organ.

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How many data base people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three:

One to write the light bulb removal program,
one to write the light bulb insertion program, and

one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a herd of buffalo?

The lawyer charges more.
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How many socialists does it take to change a light bulb?

One to petition the Ministry of Light for a bulb, 50 to establish the state production quota, 200 militia to force the factory unions to allow production of the bulb, and one to surreptitiously dial an "800" number to order an American light bulb.
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Two girls were born on the same day, same year, same parents, except they are not twins. Explain:

They are triplets.
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What goes 99 thump,99 thump,99 thump?

A centipede with a wooden leg.
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Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?

It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
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What's the difference between a tick and a lawyer?

The tick falls off when you are dead.
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What did the painter say to the wall?

I got you covered.
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What is a tree's favorite drink?

Root beer.
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