Why did Bach have so many children?

He did not have a stop on his organ.

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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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Trump: "Foreign Policy?,

if you mess with the United States, there will be hell toupee."

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Knock, knock!
Who's there?
Snow.
Snow who?

Snowbody!
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What goes 99 thump,99 thump,99 thump?

A centipede with a wooden leg.
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So I met this gangster who pulls up the back of people's pants,

it was Wedgie Kray.

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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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What do an accordion and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is relieved when the case is closed.

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How do you know when the moon has enough to eat?

When it's full.
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How many mystery writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two — one to screw it most of the way in and the other to give it a surprise twist at the end.
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