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Why did Bach have so many children?
He did not have a stop on his organ.
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.
Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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How many Mensans does it take to tell Mensa light bulb jokes?
Five. One to tell the joke and one to get it.
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What kind of music do planets sing?
Neptunes!
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Why did New Jersey get all the toxic waste and California all the lawyers?
New Jersey got to pick first.
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How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?
A watch dog.
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What breakfast cereal does Frosty the Snowman eat?
Snowflakes.
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How many punk rockers does it take to change a light bulb?
Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and seventeen on the guest list.
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Why did Lil Wayne go to the Doctor?
He was feeling a Lil Weezy
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