Why did Bach have so many children?

He did not have a stop on his organ.

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What do you call a pig that's been arrested for dangerous driving?

A road hog.
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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What pine has the longest needles?

A porcupine.
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Did you know that oxygen went for a second date with potassium?
How did it go?

It went OK2!
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What's a frog's favorite drink?

Croak-a-cola.
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How many TV comedians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to say "Sock it to Me." (Notes: Sock it = Socket. Also, for the infant readers among you, this was a popular catch-phrase from "Laugh In.")
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Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?

Because it's pretty basic stuff.
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Why can't a bicycle stand up?

Because it's two tired!
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