Why did Bach have so many children?

He did not have a stop on his organ.

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How does a bird with a broken wing manage to land safely?

With its sparrowchute.
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Why don't lawyers go to the beach?

Cats keep trying to bury them.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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Why can't Donald Trump be a Lannister?

Because he never pays his debts.
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How many big black monoliths does it take to change a light bulb?

Sorry, light bulbs are an evolutionary dead end.
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Why did the scientist take out his doorbell?

He wanted to win the no-bell prize!
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What two things can you not have for breakfast?

Lunch and dinner.
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Why don't aliens celebrate Chistmas?

Because they don't want to give away their presence.
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What do envelopes say when you lick them?

Nothing, it shuts them up!
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