Why did Bach have so many children?

He did not have a stop on his organ.

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What do you call a baby bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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Why can't you say a joke while standing on ice?

Because it might crack up!
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How many Jewish renewal rabbis does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends. One, if it's an eco-kosher bulb that isn't going to be lit by electricity generated from nuclear power. Two, as long as a man and a woman rabbi have equal turns putting in the bulb. Three, one to change it, one to do a Buddhist mindfulness practice during the change, and one to document the paradigm shift in a best-selling book called The Jew in the Lightbulb. Four, same as above plus an additional rabbi to study the psycho-halachic implications of such a change and then lead a retreat weekend on the experience.
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What kind of pants do ghosts wear?

Boo-Jeans.
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What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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What does Donald Trump say when he can't find his Viagra?

"The erection is rigged!"
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Where do ghosts buy their food?

At the ghost-ery store!
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