Why did Bach have so many children?

He did not have a stop on his organ.

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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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Why doesn't Donald Trump sweat like Marco Rubio?

Because he has such yuuuuge fans!
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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How many Christian Scientists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None, but it takes at least one to sit and pray for the old one to go back on.
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What is "HIJKLMNO"?

H2O.
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What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?

CSI
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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Where does Dorian Gray shop?

Forever 21
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What's the difference between a female lawyer and a pitbull?

Lipstick.
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