Why did Bach have so many children?

He did not have a stop on his organ.

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How many law professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Hell, you need 250 just to lobby for the research grant.
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Why are Muslims worried about Trumps immigration plans?

Once you deport Juan you deport Jamal.
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What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.
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Why did the tree go to the dentist?

It needed a root canal.
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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Why did the cat go to Minnesota?

To get a mini soda
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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How many junkies does it take to screw in a light bulb?

``Oh wow, is it like dark, man?''
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