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Why did Bach have so many children?
He did not have a stop on his organ.
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.
Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing
but you accidentally say Mother.
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How is Donald Trump going to create middle class jobs?
By paying them to cheer for him during campaign events.
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Why do pandas like old movies?
Because they are black and white.
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Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?
It went OK.
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What did the little boy's mom say when he asked her to buy him shoes for gym?
"Tell Jim to buy his own shoes".
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How many APL hackers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None. There's a primitive for that.
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?
A Dogwood
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Why was the boy sitting on his watch?
Because he wanted to be on time.
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