Why did God invent lawyers?

So that real estate agents would have someone to look down on.
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Why was the mouse afraid of the water?

Catfish
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What did the rug say to the floor?

Don't move, I've got you covered.
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A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"

The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
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Why would Snow White make a great judge?

She was the fairest in the land.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He made an illegal ewe turn.
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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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What do you give a pig with a rash?

Oinkment.
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When the attendant asked the photon if it had any bags to check

It said Nah, I'm traveling light.
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