Why did God invent lawyers?

So that real estate agents would have someone to look down on.
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How many plastic surgeons does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he'll also want to do something about your nose.
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And how come her cell phone bill was so high?

She was a Roman (roamin) Catholic
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Where does an elephant pack his luggage?

In his trunk
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How many Californians does it take to change a light bulb?

Six. One to turn the bulb, one for support, and four to relate to the experience.
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How many lesbians does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: One to screw it in, and two to talk about how much better it is than with a man.
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How many fire safety guys dose it take to screw in a light bulb?

One -- but it's an 8 hour minimum.
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Why did the banana split?

It saw the ginger snap.
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How many ergonomicists does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. Four to decide which way the bulb ought to turn, and . . .
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What do you call a sleeping bull?

A bulldozer
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