Why did God invent lawyers?

So that real estate agents would have someone to look down on.
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How many plastic surgeons does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he'll also want to do something about your nose.
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I just watched a debate as to which cartoons were better- Disney or Warner Bros.

I have to say it got very animated.
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Why does everybody like Frosty the Snowman?

Because he is so cool!
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What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from?

Separation anxiety.
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What do ghosts use to wash their hair?

Shamboo!
Frankenstein: Witch can you make me a lemonade?
Witch: Poof you are a lemonade!
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How many Ukrainians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None, because people who glow in the dark don't need light bulbs.

Note: Topical to the Chernobyl Reactor disaster of 1984.
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What do Michael Jackson and x-boxs have in common?

They're both plastic and little boys turn them on.
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Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase.

I can hardly contain myself.

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