Why did God invent lawyers?

So that real estate agents would have someone to look down on.
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How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But the guitarist has to show him first.

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Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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Where do you learn to make banana splits?

In sundae school.
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What did the light bulb say to its mother?

I wuv you watts and watts.
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How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They have machines to do that now.
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What did the baby corn ask the mother corn?

Where is pop corn?
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How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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What do you call a smiling, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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"Dyslexic man walks into a bra"
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