Why did God invent lawyers?

So that real estate agents would have someone to look down on.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vampire?

A vampire only sucks blood at night.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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How many editors of Poor Richard's Almanac does it take to replace a light bulb?

"Many hands make light work."
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There are 10 kinds of people in the world.

Those who read binary and those who don't.
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Why to lawyers wear neckties?

To keep the foreskin from crawling up their chins.
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Why didn't the rooster cross the road?

Because it was chicken.
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What's the only difference between Donald Trump and Bozo the Clown?

Bozo The Clown has real hair on his head.
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What kind of band can't play music?

A rubber band.
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