Why did God invent lawyers?

So that real estate agents would have someone to look down on.
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Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?

Fo Drizzle!

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What is black ,white and red all over?

A sunburnt penguin
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What do ghosts eat for supper?

Spooketi
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a liar?

The pronunciation.
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They have machines to do that now.
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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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When Susan's boyfriend proposed marriage to her she said: "I love the simple things in life,

but I don't want one of them for my husband".

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What kind of pants do ghosts wear?

Boo-Jeans.
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