Why did God invent lawyers?

So that real estate agents would have someone to look down on.
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Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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What kind of eggs does a wicked chicken lay?

Deviled eggs.
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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.
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What do you call a movie about Donald Trump, Bernie Madoff, and Kenneth Lay?

The League of Extraordinary Con Men.
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What do you call a girl with a frog on her head?

Lilly.
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What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?

White vans.
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What do you call a thieving alligator?

A crookodile
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How many Executive Producers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Executive Producers don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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How are elephants and trees alike?

They both have trunks
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