Why did God invent lawyers?

So that real estate agents would have someone to look down on.
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What does one bucket say to the other?

I am feeling pale today.
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What are lawyers good for?

They make used car salesmen look good.
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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How many magicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends on what you want to change it into.
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What do you call a cow in a tornado?

A milkshake
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What kind of ties can't you wear?

Railroad ties.
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What did Jay-z call his wife before they got married?

Feyonce

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What did the necktie say to the hat?

You go on ahead. I'll hang around for a while.
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What did the laywer name his daughter?

Sue.
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