Why did God invent lawyers?

So that real estate agents would have someone to look down on.
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What do you get from a bad-tempered shark?

As far away as possible.
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When Susan's boyfriend proposed marriage to her she said: "I love the simple things in life,

but I don't want one of them for my husband".

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What school do you have to drop out of to graduate from?

Parachute school!
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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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How do hair stylists speed up their job?

They take short cuts!
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What do whales eat?

Fish and ships.
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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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