Why did God invent lawyers?

So that real estate agents would have someone to look down on.
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How many teamsters does it take to change a light bulb?

``Twelve. Ya got a problem with that?''
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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What did one egg say to the other egg?

Let's get crackin!
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Went to the paper shop -

it had blown away.
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Why did Bach have so many children?

He did not have a stop on his organ.

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What element is derived from a Norse god?

Thorium.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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