Why did God invent lawyers?

So that real estate agents would have someone to look down on.
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How many sound engineers does it take to change a light bulb

None, sound engineers don't do lights
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What kind of math do Snowy Owls like?

Owlgebra
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How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away his credit card
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How many TV evangelists does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But for the message of light to continue, send in your donation today.
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What do you call a bruise on a T-Rex?

A dino-sore
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What clothes does a house wear?

Address.
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How many WASPs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Silly, WASPs don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house?

Hope it's Halloween!!
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Why did the melon jump into the lake?

It wanted to be a watermelon.
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