Why did God invent lawyers?

So that real estate agents would have someone to look down on.
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Where do soldiers keep their armies?

In their Sleevies!
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What is a ghost's favorite pie?

Booberry pie!
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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What did one elevator say to the other?

I think I'm coming down with something!
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How many pre-med students does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: One to change the bulb and four to pull the ladder out from under him/her.
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Why does everybody like Frosty the Snowman?

Because he is so cool!
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How did the butcher introduce his wife?

Meet Patty.
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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Why is tennis such a loud game?

Because each player raises a racquet.
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