Why did God invent lawyers?

So that real estate agents would have someone to look down on.
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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?

Drinking.
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What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis
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A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off.

"because," he said "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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What do you call a sleeping bull?

A bulldozer
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What has holes all over and holds water?

A sponge!
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What do you call a girl with a frog on her head?

Lilly.
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What's the difference between in-laws and outlaws?

Outlaws are wanted.
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