Why did God invent lawyers?

So that real estate agents would have someone to look down on.
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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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What do you call a cow that's just given birth?

[De-Calf-Inated]
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What do frogs order when they go to a restaurant?

French Flies.
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What is the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb?

You can unscrew a light bulb.
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What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?

CSI
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How many lawyers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Three, One to climb the ladder. One to shake it. And one to sue the ladder company.
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What did Donald Trump do before criticizing illegals?

He made sure his pools were clean and his lawns were mowed.
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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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