Why did God invent lawyers?

So that real estate agents would have someone to look down on.
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How do you catch a tame bird?

The tame way, unique up on it!
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Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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Where do all the letters sleep?

In the alphabed.
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Why did the orange stop in the middle of the hill?

It ran out of juice!
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A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"

The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
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How many brewers does it take to change a light bulb?

About one third less than for a regular bulb.
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What did rural America tell Donald Trump?

You're Hired.
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How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one more, guys, I promise.
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What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.
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