Why did God invent lawyers?

So that real estate agents would have someone to look down on.
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What happens when frogs park illegally?

They get toad.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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What kind of ties can't you wear?

Railroad ties.
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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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What does one bucket say to the other?

I am feeling pale today.
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Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.
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