Why did God invent lawyers?

So that real estate agents would have someone to look down on.
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Why don't aliens celebrate Chistmas?

Because they don't want to give away their presence.
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The stormtrooper was enjoying the Wookie steak,

but it was a little Chewie.
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What is a shark's favorite sandwich?

Peanut butter and jellyfish.
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Why do ghosts make good cheerleaders?

Because they have a lot of spirit.
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Where does a polarbear keep its money?

In a snow bank!
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How many anarchists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

All of them.
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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How many Stanford professors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One to write a paper claiming that light is a pig whitey invention, one to organize a Darkness Studies program, and one hundred to protest the Diablo Canyon Nuclear Generating Station.
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What is up in the air and wobbles?

A jellycopter
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