Why did God invent lawyers?

So that real estate agents would have someone to look down on.
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The stormtrooper was enjoying the Wookie steak,

but it was a little Chewie.
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What has 6 eyes but can't see?

3 blind mice.
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How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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Two aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married.

The ceremony was rubbish - but the reception was brilliant.

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Humpty Trumpty wants a great wall.

Humpty Trumpty wants Mexico to pay for it all.
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How many members of the United Church of Canada does it take to change a light bulb?

How dare you be so intolerant! So what if the light bulb has chosen an alternative light-style?
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Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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Where do horses live?

In the neigh-borhood.
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What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?

It gave a little wine
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