Why did God invent lawyers?

So that real estate agents would have someone to look down on.

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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to take notes while the other screws it into the faucet.

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"I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it,

it was a shitzu."

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If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why don't you swerve to hit him?

It might be your bicycle.
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Some people believe that becoming a vegitarian is just a mistake...

A Missed-steak.
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In what school do you learn how to greet people?

Hi school.
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How do you know an elephant has been in your refrigerator?

There are footprints in the butter.

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I donít play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

Iím just doing it for kicks.
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How do chickens get strong?

Egg-cersize.

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Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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