Why did God invent lawyers?

So that real estate agents would have someone to look down on.

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How many efficiency experts does it take to replace a light bulb?

None. Efficiency experts replace only dark bulbs.

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What do you call a crate of ducks?

A box of quackers.

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Why did the banana split?

It saw the ginger snap.
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Where do orcas hear music?

Orca-stras

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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.

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What's the difference between a vacuum cleaner and a lawyer on a motorcycle?

The vacuum cleaner has the dirt bag on the inside.

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Why does everybody like Frosty the Snowman?

Because he is so cool!
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How many sheep do you need to make a sweater?

I don't know. I didn't think sheep could knit

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