Why did God invent lawyers?

So that real estate agents would have someone to look down on.
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If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they'd be alloys.
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I just watched a debate as to which cartoons were better- Disney or Warner Bros.

I have to say it got very animated.
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Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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How do you fix a broken brass instrument?

With a Tuba glue.

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I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day

but I couldn't find any.

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How many alumnae of (sorority name) does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change it and one to act as chaperone.
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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Why is Donald Trump always seen with Melania?

Because all his other wives support Hillary.
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