Why did God invent lawyers?

So that real estate agents would have someone to look down on.
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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.
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What do you throw to a drowning lawyer?

His partners.
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Two satellites decided to get married.

The wedding wasn't much, but the reception was incredible!
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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How do you prevent a Summer cold?

Catch it in the Winter!
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What do you call a calf after it's six months old?

Seven months old.
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How many art directors does it take to screw in a light bulb

Does it have to be a light bulb? I've got this neat candle holder...
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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