Why did God invent lawyers?

So that real estate agents would have someone to look down on.
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I just watched a debate as to which cartoons were better- Disney or Warner Bros.

I have to say it got very animated.
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How many Union Lighting Technicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It's not a bulb, it's a globe.
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.
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What is the world's longest punctuation mark?

The hundred yard dash.
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Kleptomaniacs just don't get puns

they always take things literally.
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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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Why did the boy take a ladder to school?

He wanted to go to high school!
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What do you call a gorilla wearing earmuffs?

Anything you like, he can't hear you.
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