Why did God invent lawyers?

So that real estate agents would have someone to look down on.
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What do you call a sleeping bull?

A bulldozer
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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How many junkies does it take to change a light bulb?

Oh wow, is it, like, dark, man?
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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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What is up in the air and wobbles?

A jellycopter
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How many hardware engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Any changes will have to be implemented in software.
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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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What do Michael Jackson and Malt Whiskey have in common?

They both come in tots.
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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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