Why did God invent lawyers?

So that real estate agents would have someone to look down on.
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What kind of lights did Noah have on the ark?

Flood lights!
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What two things can you not have for breakfast?

Lunch and dinner.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He made an illegal ewe turn.
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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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Where did the farmer take the pigs on Saturday afternoon?

He took them to a pignic.
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How is Donald Trump going to create middle class jobs?

By paying them to cheer for him during campaign events.
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What has four legs, a trunk, and sunglasses?

A mouse on vacation.
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