Why did God invent lawyers?

So that real estate agents would have someone to look down on.
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How many dull people does it take to change a light bulb?

One.
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How many efficiency experts does it take to replace a light bulb?

None. Efficiency experts replace only dark bulbs.
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What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

Frostbite.
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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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What is worse then having one baby screaming?

Two babies screaming!
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What does a calf become after it's 1 year old?

2 years old.

Cow: "Mooooove over"
Sheep: "Naaaaaaa."
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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I’ve never gone to a gun range before.

I decided to give it a shot!
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