Why did God invent lawyers?

So that real estate agents would have someone to look down on.
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What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?

One molar solution.
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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What do you get from a bad-tempered shark?

As far away as possible.
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What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

He got caught peeping on a test.
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What kind of cat should you never play games with?

A cheetah
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How many Marxists does it take to change a light bulb?

None. The light bulb contains the seeds of its own revolution.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon
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Why did the people not like the restaurant on the moon?

Because there was no atmosphere.
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