Why did God invent lawyers?

So that real estate agents would have someone to look down on.
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What did the frog say when he heard "time flies when you are having fun?"

Time is fun when you're having flies
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Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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What's black and white and red all over?

A blushing zebra.
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What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer?

An offer you can't understand
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"I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it,

it was a shitzu."
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How many nuclear engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to install the new bulb and six to figure out what to do with the old one for the next 10,000 years.
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What do you call a fish without an eye?

Fsh
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How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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