Why did God invent lawyers?

So that real estate agents would have someone to look down on.
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.
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What's the tallest building in the world?

The library, because it has the most stories.
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What do you get from a bad-tempered shark?

As far away as possible.
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How many gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.
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Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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What do Santa's elves drive?

Minivans.
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What do you call a king who is only 12 inches tall?

A ruler.
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How many Bell Labs vice presidents does it take to change a light bulb?

That's proprietary information. The answer is available from AT&T on payment of license fee (binary only).
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