Why did God invent lawyers?

So that real estate agents would have someone to look down on.
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What goes tick-tock, bow-wow, tick-tock, bow-wow?

A watch dog.
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Who makes dinosaur clothes?

A dino-sewer.
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Humpty Trumpty wants a great wall.

Humpty Trumpty wants Mexico to pay for it all.
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Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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What does a witch use to keep her hair up?

Scarespray!
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What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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How many Bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb??

What's a light bulb?
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What did the alien say to the cat?

Take me to your litter.
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