Why did God invent lawyers?

So that real estate agents would have someone to look down on.
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Where do you learn to make banana splits?

In sundae school.
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How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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Why did the sun go to school?

To get brighter!
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What do Santa's elves drive?

Minivans.
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What do birds say on Halloween?

Twick o tweet
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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What do you call a calf after it's six months old?

Seven months old.
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What do an accordion and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is relieved when the case is closed.

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