Why did God invent lawyers?

So that real estate agents would have someone to look down on.
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How many Union Lighting Technicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It's not a bulb, it's a globe.
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Why did the cookie go to the Doctor?

Because he was feeling crumby.
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Why are Muslims worried about Trumps immigration plans?

Once you deport Juan you deport Jamal.
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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What is worse then having one baby screaming?

Two babies screaming!
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What did the necktie say to the hat?

You go on ahead. I'll hang around for a while.
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Can you use pink,yellow and green in a sentence?

. The phone went green green, and I pinked it up and said yellow.
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What kind of fly has a frog in its throat?

A hoarse fly!
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Why did the cow go in the spaceship?

It wanted to see the mooooooon!
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