Why did God invent lawyers?

So that real estate agents would have someone to look down on.
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Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?

He got Avogadro's number!
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What do you give a pig with a rash?

Oinkment.
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What has four legs and goes "Oom, Oom"?

A cow walking backwards
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What's black and white and red all over?

A sunburnt zebra.
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What do you call a crate of ducks?

A box of quackers.
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What do you call a pig who knows karate?

Porkchop
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How many U.S marines does it take to screw in a light bulb?

50. One to screw in the light bulb and the remaining 49 to guard him .
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What does a skeleton say before dinner?

Bone appetit!
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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