Why did God invent lawyers?

So that real estate agents would have someone to look down on.
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What do you call lending money to a bison?

A buff-a-loan
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If the red house is on the left,the blue house is on the right,where is the White House?

In Washington, D.C.
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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Why didn't the girl take the bus home?

Because her mom would make her take it back.
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What do Donald Trump and a baby have in common?

They both whine alot!
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What do you see when you look into Trump's eyes?

Answer: The back of his head.
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What do you do with a dead chemist?

Barium
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When the attendant asked the photon if it had any bags to check

It said Nah, I'm traveling light.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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