Why did God invent lawyers?

So that real estate agents would have someone to look down on.
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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech?

After you die, a leech stops sucking your blood.
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What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

Frostbite.
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H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?

Drinking.
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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What do you call a dinosaur at the rodeo?

A Broncosaurus or a Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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What do you call a Disney Princess that supports Donald Trump?

Snow White Supremacist.
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How does Donald Trump plan on deporting 12 million illegal immigrants?

Juan by Juan.
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