Why did God invent lawyers?

So that real estate agents would have someone to look down on.
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What do you do with a dead chemist?

Barium
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How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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What do you get when you cross a witch with sand?

A sandwich!
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How do you know Donald Trump is talking to you?

Cause your the only one Hair.
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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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What do you call a song sung in an automobile?

A cartoon.
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I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite

He said NaBrO
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How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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What has a lot of keys but can not open any doors?

A piano.
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