Why did God invent lawyers?

So that real estate agents would have someone to look down on.
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What is Donald Trump "really" trying to do?

Make America Hate Again.
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day

but I couldn't find any.

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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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Why doesn't Melania Trump want to be the first lady?

Because she would have to move into a smaller house.
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What is a lion's favorite state?

Maine
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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What's the one thing that never works when it's fixed?

A jury.
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How many Ukrainians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None, because people who glow in the dark don't need light bulbs.

Note: Topical to the Chernobyl Reactor disaster of 1984.
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