Why did God invent lawyers?

So that real estate agents would have someone to look down on.
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Why did Mickey Mouse go to outer space?

He was looking for Pluto.
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How many 2nd AD's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Uh...standby, I'll check on that.
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How many graduate students does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it may take upwards of five years for him to get it done.
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Why don't mountains get cold in the winter?

They wear snowcaps.
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish
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How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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How many Bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb??

What's a light bulb?
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