Why did God invent lawyers?

So that real estate agents would have someone to look down on.
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How do you make a musician's car more aerodynamic?

Take the pizza delivery sign off the roof

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What do you call a thieving alligator?

A crookodile
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What do birds say on Halloween?

Twick o tweet
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What do you call a gorilla wearing earmuffs?

Anything you like, he can't hear you.
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What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?

There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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Where do orcas hear music?

Orca-stras
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How many record producers does it take to change a lightbulb?

Two… one to tell the engineer to do it, the other to say "I don't know, what do you think?"

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