Why did God invent lawyers?

So that real estate agents would have someone to look down on.
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What does a cat call a hummingbird?

Fast food.
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A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."

The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."
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Why does a stork stand on one leg?

Because it would fall over if it lifted the other one.
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I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite

He said NaBrO
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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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What do you call a fairy who doesn't take a bath?

Stinker Bell.
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What has four legs, a trunk, and sunglasses?

A mouse on vacation.
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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What has 6 eyes but can't see?

3 blind mice.
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