Why did God invent lawyers?

So that real estate agents would have someone to look down on.
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What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

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What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis
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What did Michael Jackson tell the little boy?

"The way you make me feel, it really turns me on!"
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What did the ghost say to the other ghost?

Do you believe in humans?
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What did the Donald tell an illegal immigrant who was trying to put out a fire at Trump Tower?

No way Hose A.
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How many Christian Scientists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None, but it takes at least one to sit and pray for the old one to go back on.
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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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