Why did God invent lawyers?

So that real estate agents would have someone to look down on.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a bucket of manure?

The bucket.
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Why did the man take a pencil to bed?

Because he wanted to draw the curtains!
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How many engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

First they have to agree on which is better; the analog bulb or a digital bulb.
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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Why is the French horn the most divine instrument?

Man blows into it, but God only knows what comes out

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball?

Because he had no BODY to go with.
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Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?

He got Avogadro's number!
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Why did the cow go in the spaceship?

It wanted to see the mooooooon!
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How many Iraqis does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It doesn't matter, they don't have any electricity any more.
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