Why did God invent lawyers?

So that real estate agents would have someone to look down on.
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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How many magicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends on what you want to change it into.
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What kind of pants do ghosts wear?

Boo-Jeans.
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Can you use pink,yellow and green in a sentence?

. The phone went green green, and I pinked it up and said yellow.
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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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What did the sub-atmoic ducks say?

Quark!
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Why did the drum take a nap?

It was beat.
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What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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