Why did God invent lawyers?

So that real estate agents would have someone to look down on.
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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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I'll call you later.

Don't call me later, call me Dad.
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How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away his credit card
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What bone will a dog never eat?

A trombone.
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?

One molar solution.
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What is a frog's favorite year?

Leap Year
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What do you get from a bad-tempered shark?

As far away as possible.
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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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