Why did God invent lawyers?

So that real estate agents would have someone to look down on.
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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What do basketball players and babies have in common?

They both dribble.
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Do you know what the Queen's father was called?

King.
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How many radical feminists does it take to change a light bulb?

That isn't funny!
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah;

I thought, "He's trying to pull a fast one".

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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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