Why did God invent lawyers?

So that real estate agents would have someone to look down on.
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How many Wardrobe people does it take to screw in a light bulb?

"Nobody said I needed doubles on that!"
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What do birds say on Halloween?

Twick o tweet
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What do you call a calf after it's six months old?

Seven months old.
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I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.

It's a total rip-off.
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What's the tallest building in the world?

The library, because it has the most stories.
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What's a puppy's favorite kind of pizza?

Pupperoni.
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What is a ghost's favorite pie?

Booberry pie!
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What do you call a mad elephant?

An earthquake.
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Why can't you compare Donald Trump to cancer?

Because sometimes you can get rid of cancer.
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