Why did God invent lawyers?

So that real estate agents would have someone to look down on.
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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What's green and loud?

A froghorn.
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What happened when 500 hares got loose on Main Street?

The police had to comb the area.
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What do you get from a bad-tempered shark?

As far away as possible.
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What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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If the red house is on the left,the blue house is on the right,where is the White House?

In Washington, D.C.
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What's the difference between Donald Trump and Ronald Reagan?

If Trump gets Alzheimers his IQ will go up.
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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