Why did God invent lawyers?

So that real estate agents would have someone to look down on.
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What do you call a gorilla wearing earmuffs?

Anything you like, he can't hear you.
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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What did the little girl say when she had to choose between a tricycle and a candy bar?

"Trike or Treat"?
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.
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What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.
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Where did the sheep go on vacation?

The baaaahamas
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