Why did God invent lawyers?

So that real estate agents would have someone to look down on.

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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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What did one wall say to the other?

I'll meet you at the corner.
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What's the difference between a vacuum cleaner and a lawyer on a motorcycle?

The vacuum cleaner has the dirt bag on the inside.

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If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why don't you swerve to hit him?

It might be your bicycle.
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How do you make a hot dog stand?

Steal its chair.

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Why was the piano player arrested?

Because he got into treble with the cops

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What did the calculator say to the math student?

You can count on me!
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What do you call two ants that run away to get married?

Ant-elopes!

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What do sea monsters eat for lunch?

Fish and ships.

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