Why did God invent lawyers?

So that real estate agents would have someone to look down on.
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When Susan's boyfriend proposed marriage to her she said: "I love the simple things in life,

but I don't want one of them for my husband".

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What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?

A chili dog on a bun.
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How do Eskimos make their beds?

With sheets of ice and blankets of snow.
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What is a tree's favorite drink?

Root beer.
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How many New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None 'o yo' fuckin' business!
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Why did the belt go to jail?

It held up a pair of pants.
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What did the class clown take a computer to school?

Her mom told her to bring in an apple for the teacher.
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"Dyslexic man walks into a bra"
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What do you call cheese that isn't yours?

Nacho cheese.
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