Why did God invent lawyers?

So that real estate agents would have someone to look down on.
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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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Why are Muslims worried about Trumps immigration plans?

Once you deport Juan you deport Jamal.
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A seal walks into a club...
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Why are pirates great singers?

They can hit the high C's!

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How does an Eskimo stick his house together?

With igloo!
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How many fire safety guys dose it take to screw in a light bulb?

One -- but it's an 8 hour minimum.
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Why shouldn't Donald Trump rag on illegal immigrants?

Because an undocumented worker has been living on his head for the past 2 decades!
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I went to the Doctors the other day, and he said, 'Go to Bournemouth, it's great for flu'.

So I went - and I got it.
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