Why did God invent lawyers?

So that real estate agents would have someone to look down on.
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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?

White vans.
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What's the difference between a snow man and a snow woman?

Snow balls!
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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to take notes while the other screws it into the faucet.
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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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Why did the student eat her homework?

Because the teacher said it was a piece of cake!
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How do you make a hot dog stand?

Steal its chair.
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