Why did God invent lawyers?

So that real estate agents would have someone to look down on.
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What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?

A brick layer!
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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What did the guitarist do when his teacher told him to turn his amplifier on?

He caressed it softly and told it that he loved it

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Customer: "Do you have alligator shoes?"

Clerk: "Yes, sir. What size does your alligator wear?"
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.
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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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What is a lion's favorite state?

Maine
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What do you call a cheese factory in the Middle East?

Cheeses of Nazareth.
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