Why did God invent lawyers?

So that real estate agents would have someone to look down on.
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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Why was the math book sad?

It had too many problems.
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What's worse than a worm in your apple?

Half a worm.
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What kind of band can't play music?

A rubber band.
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Why is a skeleton so mean?

He doesn't have a heart.
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How do you know an elephant has been in your refrigerator?

There are footprints in the butter.
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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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Where does Dorian Gray shop?

Forever 21
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How many law professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Hell, you need 250 just to lobby for the research grant.
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