Why did God invent lawyers?

So that real estate agents would have someone to look down on.
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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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What cell phones do travelling nuns use?

Virgin mobile.
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What's the difference between in-laws and outlaws?

Outlaws are wanted.
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What is on the ground and also a hundred feet in the air?

A centipede on its back!
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How many fire safety guys dose it take to screw in a light bulb?

One -- but it's an 8 hour minimum.
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There were 10 cats in a boat and one jumped out. How many were left?

None, because they were copycats
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What do you call a girl with a frog on her head?

Lilly.
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What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.
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There was an explosion at a cheese factory in France...

all that was left was de brie.
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