Why did God invent lawyers?

So that real estate agents would have someone to look down on.
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Why is a skeleton so mean?

He doesn't have a heart.
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What did the belly button say just before it left?

I'm outtie here!

Tom: I bet I can make you say purple.
Joe: How?
Tom: What colors are in the American flag?
Joe: Red, white and blue.
Tom: I told you I can make you say red.
Joe: You said purple!
Tom: I told you I could make you say purple!
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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How many skunks does it take to make a big stink?

A phew.
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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish
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What pine has the longest needles?

A porcupine.
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When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?

When you're a mouse.
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What do you call snake with no clothes on?

Snaked.
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What did the little girl say when she had to choose between a tricycle and a candy bar?

"Trike or Treat"?
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