Why did God invent lawyers?

So that real estate agents would have someone to look down on.
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite

He said NaBrO
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What`s black & white & red all over?

An embarrased mime!
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What did the momma buffalo say to her son before he went to school?

Bison
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?

White vans.
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What do you call a deer with no eyes?

No I deer
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How many folk singers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.
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