Why did God invent lawyers?

So that real estate agents would have someone to look down on.
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What did the belly button say just before it left?

I'm outtie here!

Tom: I bet I can make you say purple.
Joe: How?
Tom: What colors are in the American flag?
Joe: Red, white and blue.
Tom: I told you I can make you say red.
Joe: You said purple!
Tom: I told you I could make you say purple!
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How many gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.
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What is the chemical formula for "banana"?

BaNa2
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There's a fine line between a numerator and denominator.

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Why did the skeleton cross the road?

To get to the body shop.
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Where do all the letters sleep?

In the alphabed.
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Why did the spy stay in bed?

Because he was under cover.
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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What did one egg say to the other egg?

Let's get crackin'!
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