Why did God invent lawyers?

So that real estate agents would have someone to look down on.
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What did the ghost say to the other ghost?

Do you believe in humans?
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How do you wake up Lady Gaga?

You Poke her face.

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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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Why did the banana go to the hospital?

Because he wasn't peeling well!
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What did the snowman say to the customer?

Have an ice day!
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How many Christians does it take to change a light bulb?

Three, but they're really only one.
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What do sea monsters eat for lunch?

Fish and ships.
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How many agnostics does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Agnostics question whether electricity really exists.
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I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite

He said NaBrO
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