Why did God make snakes just before lawyers?

To practice.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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Why was the woman fired from the car assembly line?

She was caught taking a brake.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?

Just in case he got a hole in one!
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Why did the rooster cross the road?

To prove he wasn't a chicken!
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What did the Donald tell an illegal immigrant who was trying to put out a fire at Trump Tower?

No way Hose A.
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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Where is a rabbit's favorite place to eat?

Ihop
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What's black and white and red all over?

A sunburnt zebra.
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