Why did God make snakes just before lawyers?

To practice.
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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What is the snake's favorite subject?

Hiss-story
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What's the difference between a piano and a tuna?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna

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What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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Who makes dinosaur clothes?

A dino-sewer.
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Whats the difference between a cat and a compound sentence?

One has claws at the end of its paws and one has a pause at the end of its clause
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What did the ghost say to the other ghost?

Do you believe in humans?
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What kind of ties can't you wear?

Railroad ties.
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