Why did God make snakes just before lawyers?

To practice.
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How many [ethnics] does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Ten. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.
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How many archaeologists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One team, but they'll label every piece of the old one, mark its location in the room, and write a detailed description before determining that it was used to store cornmeal.
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What do you call a cow that plays a musical instrument?

A Moo-sician!

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Why didn't the rooster cross the road?

Because it was chicken.
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?

OH SNaP!
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What's the only difference between Donald Trump and Bozo the Clown?

Bozo The Clown has real hair on his head.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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