Why did God make snakes just before lawyers?

To practice.
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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to take notes while the other screws it into the faucet.
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What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?

Its shadow
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How many apples grow on a tree?

All of them.
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What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer?

An offer you can't understand
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If you drop a white hat into the Red Sea, what does it become?

Wet.
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Why is Superman's costume so tight?

Because he wears a size "S".
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I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day.

Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.

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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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What do you get when you cross a witch with sand?

A sandwich!
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