Why did God make snakes just before lawyers?

To practice.
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What kind of pants do ghosts wear?

Boo-Jeans.
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Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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What breakfast cereal does Frosty the Snowman eat?

Snowflakes.
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Where are sharks from?

Finland.
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What do envelopes say when you lick them?

Nothing, it shuts them up!
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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've been framed!
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What is Donald Trumps campaign slogan?

"A complex world demands complex hair."
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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