Why did God make snakes just before lawyers?

To practice.
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What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo?

Big holes all over Australia!
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How do you know an elephant has been in your refrigerator?

There are footprints in the butter.
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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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How many fire safety guys dose it take to screw in a light bulb?

One -- but it's an 8 hour minimum.
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What do fish take to stay healthy?

Vitamin sea.
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What do you get when you cross a Christmas tree with an apple?

A pineapple!
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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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What do you get from a bad-tempered shark?

As far away as possible.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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