Why did God make snakes just before lawyers?

To practice.
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What do you get when you cross a blonde and a lawyer?

I don't know. There are some things even a blonde won't do.
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How many Christians does it take to change a light bulb?

Three, but they're really only one.
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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What is the difference between a guitarist and a Savings Bond?

Eventually a Savings Bond will mature and earn money!

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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?

OH SNaP!
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How many Agents does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Actually, agents will screw in just about anything.
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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What kind of shoes do bannanas make?

Slippers!
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