Why did God make snakes just before lawyers?

To practice.
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What did the peanut say to the walnut?

Nothing. Nuts can't talk.
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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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How many sound engineers does it take to change a light bulb

None, sound engineers don't do lights
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Where did the farmer take the pigs on Saturday afternoon?

He took them to a pignic.
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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There were 10 cats in a boat and one jumped out. How many were left?

None, because they were copycats
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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What do you call a scared train?

A fright train!
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Where do horses live?

In the neigh-borhood.
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