Why did God make snakes just before lawyers?

To practice.
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What do whales eat?

Fish and ships.
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Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?

Because it's pretty basic stuff.
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A man goes to a zoo and discovers there is only one animal and it's a dog.

It was a Shih Tzu
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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Why was the baseball game so hot?

Because all the fans left!
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What do you call a deer with no eyes?

No I deer
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What kind of potato chips fly?

Plane ones.
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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