Why did God make snakes just before lawyers?

To practice.
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How do you wake up Lady Gaga?

You Poke her face.

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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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Where does the snowman hide his money?

In the snow bank.
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What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?

A try and try and try-ceratops
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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Why was the boy sitting on his watch?

Because he wanted to be on time.
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"I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it,

it was a shitzu."
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How does Donald Trump plan on deporting 12 million illegal immigrants?

Juan by Juan.
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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