Why did God make snakes just before lawyers?

To practice.
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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How many radical feminists does it take to change a light bulb?

That isn't funny!
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What do you call a 400-pound gorilla?

Sir.
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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Why did the chicken cross the playground?

To get to the other slide!
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What do you get if you enroll in a liberal arts program and the only subject you do well in is music?

A natural major.
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Now that Macy's has severed ties, with Donald Trump, how can the average American look like the President?

By hunting and killing their own hair piece.
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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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How many PA' does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What's a light bulb?
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