Why did God make snakes just before lawyers?

To practice.
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Why did the cow go to outer space?

To visit the milky way.
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What do you get when you cross a witch with sand?

A sandwich!
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When does New Year's Day come before Christmas Day?

Every year!
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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What's a puppy's favorite kind of pizza?

Pupperoni.
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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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What kind of lights did Noah have on the ark?

Flood lights!
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How much does a hipster weigh?

An instagram.
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