Why did God make snakes just before lawyers?

To practice.
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There are 10 kinds of people in the world.

Those who read binary and those who don't.
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Three people were in a boat. They all fell off. Only two people ended up with wet hair. Why didn't the other person's hair get wet?

Because he was bald!
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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How many Bratzlaver Chassidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find one that burned as brightly as the first one.
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What did one tooth say to the other tooth?

The dentist is taking me out tonight.
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What is always hot in the refrigerator?

Chili
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What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?

Wet feet.
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What can you hold without ever touching it?

A conversation.
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What's the difference between a tick and a lawyer?

The tick falls off when you are dead.
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