Why did God make snakes just before lawyers?

To practice.
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How many sheep do you need to make a sweater?

I don't know. I didn't think sheep could knit
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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've been framed!
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How many Real Men does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Real Men aren't afraid of the dark.
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How many U.S marines does it take to screw in a light bulb?

50. One to screw in the light bulb and the remaining 49 to guard him .
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What do you do with a dead chemist?

Barium
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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How many Anglicans does it take to change a lightbulb?

A whole synod. One to move that the bulb be changed while the others debate until the room spins.
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How many Einsteins does it take to change a light bulb?

That depends on the speed of the change and the mass of the bulb. Or vice versa, of course. It just might be easier to leave the bulb and change the room. It's all relative.
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