Why did God make snakes just before lawyers?

To practice.
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.

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What does the toast wear to bed?

Jammies!
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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Why can't a bicycle stand up?

Because it's two tired!
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How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.

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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood

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Where does Dorian Gray shop?

Forever 21
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Why did the people not like the restaurant on the moon?

Because there was no atmosphere.
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