Why did Lil Wayne go to the Doctor?

He was feeling a Lil Weezy

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Where do you get whales weighed?

At the Whale-weigh station.
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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What kind of jam can you not eat?

A traffic jam.
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How many fundamentalists does it take to change a light bulb?

None; the Bible doesn't mention any light bulbs.
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What do you get when you cross a Christmas tree with an apple?

A pineapple!
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How do you fix a broken brass instrument?

With a Tuba glue.

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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?

A try and try and try-ceratops
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Which reindeer likes to clean?

Comet
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