Why did Lil Wayne go to the Doctor?

He was feeling a Lil Weezy

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Why won't sharks attack lawyers?

Professional courtesy.
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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How do you cut a wave in half?

Use a sea saw.
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How many televangelists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. Televangelists screw in motels.
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What kind of dessert does a ghost like?

I scream!
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Why did the drum take a nap?

It was beat.
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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck
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What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.
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Where did the farmer take the pigs on Saturday afternoon?

He took them to a pignic.
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